I have an excuse this time. I was in a cabin with no internet for a weekend... yeah I know it's a sad excuse. Do you want the chapter or not?
Oh and there is a NEW POLL that will determine how this story turns out! If you care about cannon characters (team 10) you will vote.
Throughout the meeting, one phrase kept repeating itself in Yahiko's head. "This could not be more awkward."
His originals, a blue hair woman named Konan and a man with piercings named Pein, sat before him. Pein had told the other members of Akatsuki he would be taking the leader of his 'little group' aside after Yahiko had stepped forward as leader. Well, stepped forward after the other clones all pointed them.
"You're the leader of Akatsuki, Pein-san?"
Pein said nothing, but nodded.
"It's nice to meet you..." 'Who am I kidding? I'm screwed.'
"...So, you're the leader of your group?"
"Not officially, but... well... the group thinks I make the best choices. Most of them, anyway."
"Most of them?"
He almost looked away when he replied, "If I was really that great of a leader, there would be six people in here instead of five."
"... one of you died?" Konan whispered. It was the first words Yahiko heard her say.
"No." Pein answered before Yahiko could. "When I summoned you, I searched for chakra patterns we had. I clearly felt six of you. But we didn't one of you show up?"
"... His name's Zonbi. I recognized his origina- er, the people his chakra came from. Hidan and Kazuku, right?"
"Kakuzu." Pein corrected, "The one with the mask."
"Yeah, him. I think it was the eyes, I don't know..."
"Does Zonbi have any unusual qualities?"
"You mean like stitches?"
Pein nodded again. "Then he's Kakuzu's. I'm sure of it."
"He has stitches under his mask?"
"Yes."
"I see..."
"But why didn't he show up?"
"Because he hates me."
Pein blinked, but kept any other surprise hidden, "Hates you?"
"Yeah. He must have thought that it was me calling him over, like the other clones did. That's why he didn't come."
"Why does he hate you?"
"I told you, I'm not the best leader. I never even asked to...I just...told people what to do and it worked. Zonbi...hated that. It's not that he wanted to be in charge, but he hated taking orders. And he hated my orders."
"What were your orders?" Pein asked.
It was a simple question, but Yahiko hesitated on the answer. How could he tell them his plans were to protect them! After seeing them in person, it was obvious that protection was the last thing the Akatsuki needed. All adult S-rank criminals with powerful weapons and jutsu who didn't need teenager help.
"We wanted to learn."
The words slipped out of his mouth before he could take them back in his mind. Pein and Konan glanced at each other and Pein spoke "How do you 'learn'?"
"We...kinda know jutsus. They just come to us, even though we've never had any instructions. But they go on and off. It's random. Like Samehada. He has the thing he called the 'sharingan'. He just after hearing the name the first time... he knew what it was. But he never heard the word before. He activated it before," He remembered the first time he met Samehada in his cell, when the red eyes glowed and that was all he saw. "but never knew anything about it."
"Sounds strange." Pein said, crossing his arms.
"...well?"
"Why didn't you just come to us?"
"Heh, you're dangerous S-rank criminals. That and we already have Orochimaru chasing us."
Pein took that into consideration. "We'll think about it."
"So...cool."
"And it's mine." Kisame said, ripping the sword away from Samehada's eyesight before he started to drool on it.
"Sorry." He muttered back, eyes still glued on the massive sword. 'God, my swords shit compared to that thing.'
"Can it rip up enemies, like cut them to ribbons?"
"Hell yeah it can!"
"Can I hold it!"
"Not in a million years."
"Aww..."
"Oh stop whining, brat." Nyamo called over, molding something in her hands. Deidara laughed. "See Danna. She is your clone. She talks just like you, un. Haha"
"Shut up." Sasori replied coldly. "Any 'clone' of mine won't be wasting time on clay explosions."
"Well I would work with something like puppets, but I don't have the stuff for that. Just the little bit of clay I have left." Nyamo told him, focusing more on the finishing touches on her butterfly.
Deidara's smile faded. "So much artistic talent and you wanna waste it on puppets!"
"...I don't get you guys anymore, un."
"Yeah, yeah what the fuck ever." Hidan groaned. He was laying back on the couch, looking annoyed as hell.
"What's your problem now?" Kakuzu asked.
"Where the fuck's MY clone? Zetsu got two and I don't get one!"
"I don't get one ether and I'm not complaining." Kakuzu pointed out, looking back at the paper in his hand.
"Fuck you, man."
"Well..." Su looked down as she spoke. "You guys...do have one."
Hidan's head shot up. "And? Where is he!"
"You don't wanna meet him." Zet said flatly. He bit back into the meal Zetsu had brought him like nothing happened.
Hidan looked over at the other clones. Samehada suddenly became less interested in the sword. Nyamo stopped playing with clay.
"We called him Zonbi." Samehada finally said.
"Zonbi? You fucking serious?"
The shark clone shrugged. "It seemed to match him. He looks like a zombie."
"It's really because Kisame calls Kakuzu and you 'Zombie Brothers' behind your backs." Zetsu's black half said between mouth fulls.
There was a moment of silence as the 'zombie brothers' turned around each giving Kakuzu a death glare. "Zonbi Brothers...?"
"Kisame..." Itachi gave his partner a light push. "Start running."
The next meeting of Akatsuki (and the Akatsuki 2.0), Kisame was unable to attend due to serious medical injuries hospitalizing him. After Konan managed to get him in a room alone to rest, she told Itachi and Samehada they could skip the meeting and watch over him, as the meeting didn't concern them.
Samehada took the sword that shared his name in his hand. He played with it a little, making it flip, spin, and twirl in all directions well managing to keep a grip on it.
"It's amazing." He told Itachi. "Nothing like the sword I got. I mean, not just because it's bigger and better. It...has a weird feeling to it."
"The sword Samehada is unique." Itachi explained. "None like it in the world. Kisame is an elite because of that sword. He's one of the best swordsman in the world. And not just because he has the sword, but because Samehada likes him."
"Huh?"
"Samehada reads chakra. It must recognize you as Kisame. Anyone else who's ever tried to hold it..." The Uchiha held out his hand close to the sword, almost touching it.
*rip*
Spikes shot out at Itachi's hand, nearly cutting it open.
"If I had gotten any closer, Samehada would have ripped my skin, absorbing my chakra as it cut. This chakra would be passed out to the sword holder. That is the reason Kisame (and probably you) have so much chakra."
"Wow..."
"You may have noticed we're missing one. The clone of Kakuzu and Hidan. I'm sending five of you to get him. Obviously, Kakuzu and Hidan will lead. Deidara, Sasori, you two will go with them with your clone Nyamo."
"...just my luck, un." Nyamo said under her breath. "He won't like this."
