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The pain filled my whole body. I called myself Sasha, I was Alexandra, I am Alexandra, I corrected myself.

"Are you alright?" Nicholas asks quietly, like he knew he was not supposed to ask. I just swallow and continue to look out the window. I really was not okay; I had let Vlad take away the one thing I had, my identity. He may have taken away my home, my language and my dignity, but he could not have my identity. I would not let him. I am Alexandra Udinov I repeat all the way home.

We pull up to the brothel; Nicholas climbs out and crosses in front of the car to open my door. I hold my head in my hands and take a huge breath. Nicholas opens my door and helps me out. I stop and grab his wrist.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I ask.

"You are different from the other girls. You walk with a so much confidence. You are not scared of the guards or Vlad. You know who you are. I am kind of rooting for you." he admits.

"Thank you." I say, thinking he could not be farther from the truth.

"But you beat the crap out of me when we first met." I say confused.

"Remember, you beat me up first." He says smiling, but then his face turns serious. "I am very sorry about that." He says. "I promise I will not willingly do it again."

"You were just doing your job." I say, holding back tears.

We walk through the compacted snow down into my "home". Everyone is high again. Get used to it I think. I walk through the hallway, chin up, holding my gaze away from everyone. Girl's fingers reach out to grasp me. I avoid most of them, but a few snag my dress. I open the door to Vlad's room and shut the door on the girls. Nicholas greets the other guards and Vlad. I turn to face him.

"Look the devil is still here." I say sarcastically. I see a scowl appear on Vlad's face and a smile creep on Nicholas's. It is nice to have a guard on my side ever since Victor left. I do not like to think about what happened to him after he saved me. I have not seen him since. I feel a knot forming in my stomach as I see Vlad pull out a needle.

"Do you have my money or not?" he snarls, obviously still angry about my comment. A smile creeps on my face, happy I can make him angry. I open the clutch and take out the wad of money. I slam it on the table and slide it towards him. I try to walk away, but there is no getting out of this situation.

"Arm." He says. I reluctantly give him my arm. He stabs my arm with the needle, smiling as he hits the plunger. At first I do not feel anything, but then I start to feel woozy and things become blurry.

I stumble to the door, and wrench it open. I try my hardest to walk straight, but everything is changing shapes, colors and I cannot see straight. They do take away the knot in my stomach, the pain in my chest; I go numb and no longer feel the pain. It is not an unwelcome feeling. I make it to my mattress before I collapse into unconsciousness.

The next morning I awaken to a banging of pots. The guards are waking us up for breakfast. I sit up to reach for my normal clothes. Whoa I think. My head is pounding and my stomach is cramping, from the drugs.

"I know it is bad now, but it gets better, trust me." Irina said, smiling at me.

"I hope so, I certainly hope so." I reply clutching my head.

We eat the same mush we used to on the boat. Somehow it is much worse than it was on the boat, or maybe it was just the drugs. To be honest, I think more drugs might help ease the pain. I stop frozen, how was I already becoming a junkie?

"Is everything alright?" Natasha asks me, noticing the panicked look on my face.

"Yeah, just thinking about yesterday." I grit my teeth through the lie. After everything both of these girls have told me, I owed them the truth, but I could not bear with the thought myself.

"What happened?" Irina asks, placing her hand reassuringly over mine. They both listened intently as I recounted the events of yesterday. I told them everything, except about Nicholas being nice to me.

"I cannot believe men really want girls your age, you are so young." Natasha comments, with disgust.

"She is only fourteen." Irina replies.

"Fifteen." I correct her.

"What?" they both exclaim.

"It was yesterday." I say, looking down.

"Why did you not tell us?" Natasha asks.

"It was not really important, with everything going on." I mumble. They both go to protest, but my next comment stops them.

"We need to focus on planning our escape." I say quietly, so no one will hear. They both nod.

We need to plan our escape carefully, leaving nothing to chance. I am in charge of using Josh's power to get us three new passports and identities.

"Good, I meet with Josh again next week, I will talk to him then." I say feeling better about escaping. They both exchange a look.

"What?" I ask. Irina hesitates.

"You might have to force it out of him." Natasha says quietly.

"Are you ready to do that, hold a knife at his throat for info." Irina asks. I gulp terrified; I had never hurt anyone before, well not counting the guards. I looked at the faces of the girls in front of me. I thought about how much I just wanted to get out of this hell whole, how much they wanted that. I forced the lump growing in my throat down.

"I will do whatever it takes." I say with fake confidence. Relief spreads across both of their faces.

"Let's do this." Natasha says, I take another deep breath. Here we go I think.


Thoughts?