Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, CrystalRaindrop!
: - Dedication - :
TO EVERYONE! I can't just pick a few. You're all freaking awesome.
A Child of the Night — Chapter Twelve
Previously ...
And then, as we were standing together on her porch, and she was saying goodbye, I suddenly understood. I understood the feelings that had been growing slowly inside of me, the feelings that had been taking over me. I understood why she, in such a short time, had become my everything. And it was because I loved her. I hadn't been looking for love. I hadn't even wanted to find it. Yet, in the three weeks I'd known her — had it really been that long? — I had fallen hopelessly, completely and impossibly in love with her. "Edward?" she breathed, and I looked up. I brushed my hand across her cheek, and though my words were pained as I fought against the emotions exploding inside of me, I smiled. "I'll see you soon," I whispered, and I pressed my lips against her forehead softly. I love you. And then I walked away.
March 7th, Friday - 4:00 PM — Edward POV
Days passed, and then weeks. I still hadn't told Bella that I loved her, but as each day passed, we grew closer and closer — and my love for her grew deeper and deeper. Sometimes I went over to her house, and I would help her put together dinner for Charlie. Then, we'd disappear in her room for hours, simply listening to music. Sometimes I would read to her, and sometimes we would talk. When we went over to my house, though, it was a lot less calm. Our time was spent playing with Alice, who all but worshiped Bella, and talking with my parents and Emmett.
And then sometimes ... sometimes, we would go out to our meadow, and simply sit side by side, saying nothing, doing nothing.
Every moment with her was like a dream.
I sighed, and tried to push away everything that was running so wildly through my head. I turned my attention back to the keyboard in front of me and the mess of papers that surrounded me. I placed my fingers on the keys of the piano, and they flowed smoothly through the notes I'd already committed to memory.
And then my fingers tripped over each other, and I growled in frustration as I stared down at my notes for what seemed like the millionth time. I could never get past that part! It was simply infuriating.
But as I thought of the song I was playing, and the reason I was playing it, I smiled.
I had written this song for Bella. It was her song, and I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to play it for her, and then tell her that I loved her. I wanted to hold her, and tell her again and again and again how I felt. I was so sure she felt the same. Every time I touched her, or played with her hair, or simply spoke to her, her heart would speed up, and her skin would flush. Her lips always turned up in an involentary smile, and her eyes would sparkle like I'd never seen them sparkle before.
My smile grew very soft as I began playing again. The song was very quiet, very slow, very sweet.
But then my fingers tripped up again, and I growled deeply in frustration before throwing my papers across the room. They fluttered down slowly, landing on the soft, golden carpet that decotared my wooden floor.
"Edward?"
The voice was so soft. I looked up to find my mother smiling at me. Her eyes were troubled, though.
"Are you all right?" she asked, and I nodded, patting the bed beside me. She came over and sat down, folding her hands in her lap. I furiously erased the few notes in the song that simply I couldn't play, and touched a few on the keyboard, testing out the way they flowed with the previous notes of the song.
"I'm fine," I finally answered, still staring at the keyboard. "Just a little stressed."
I placed the papers on the bed beside me, and turned to my mom.
"What are you playing?" she asked curiously.
I grinned brightly. "I'm writing a song."
Her eyes grew wide in surprise.
"Oh, Edward!" she exclaimed. "That's amazing! I've been listening to you play for hours. It's simply beautiful! When did you start?"
I shrugged, unable to hide my pleasure at her obvious pride in me. "A few weeks ago." The night I realized that I had fallen in love with my best friend. "I'm writing it for ... for Bella."
Not only was my mother smiling, but now she was beaming, and her face was flushed with pride and happiness.
"Oh, how sweet," she gushed. And then, "Oh, Edward, she's so strong. I don't know how she does it. How she goes through each day. I spend so much time thinking about her, and ... you're a good boy, Edward. You're a good friend to her. I think she needs you more than she realizes. Her eyes always light up when you're around, and if you leave the room, she suddenly becomes very sad. I don't think she realizes it, though, how much she depends on you."
I smiled softly, but my smile was pained. I didn't even try and hide my emotions as I turned to stare at my mother once more. I took a deep breath in.
"Mom ... I think I'm in love with her," I muttered quietly.
My mother drew in a sharp breath, but after a few seconds of stunned silence, a smile slowly spread across her lips.
"Edward ... " she breathed, but she seemed unable to say anything else. I just smiled, and then I blushed and looked down at my hands. But then I felt a soft hand on my cheek, and I looked up into my mother's eyes. She spoke slowly, quietly. "Edward, a life with Bella would be very, very hard. Are you sure ... and you don't even know if things would ever go this far ... but are you sure that you could ... live with her forever?"
I felt an unexplainable anger rise up within me, and I turned away from my mother, unable to look her in the eye.
"I love her! I don't care if she's blind! I don't care if she can never go out into the sun! I would be willing to give everything up for her, mom! Everything!" I shouted, and even as I said the words, I realized they were true. Softer this time, I repeated, "I would give up everything."
The surprise that had lit my mother's eyes slowly melted away until she was smiling again. She took my hands in hers, and leaned very close.
"Don't break her heart, Edward," she whispered, and then she stood to her feet and walked to the door. But before she walked out, she added, almost silently, "It would kill her."
And then she was gone, and I was left alone in angered silence. I clenched my fists together tightly, and tried to calm myself down. How could she!? How could my mother think that, just because Bella was blind, or because she lived in fear of the sun, that I could stop loving her? Or that I would choose a life without her, simply because she would make my life difficult?
I took a deep breath in to calm my pounding heart, and turned back to my music.
I would tell her.
I would tell her soon.
I love you, Bella.
8:12 PM — Bella POV
"Just a little further."
I grinned brightly, almost jumping up and down with excitement as Edward led me slowly forward. My feet, bare, cold, brushed across the wooden floor quickly. Laughing, I reached forward, grasping Edward's hand in mine.
"Are we there yet?" I asked, and Edward was suddenly beside me, his chest pressed against my back, both of my hands clasped in his.
"Yes," he breathed, and he moved me forward only a few more steps. He asked me to sit, and I did. I smiled, and he sat beside me. He took my hands in his, and turned me until I was facing him.
"I wanted to show this to you, Bella. Remember when I said I could play the paino just a bit?"
I nodded, biting my lip. I smiled, wondering if he was going to play for me. The thought excited me.
"I lied," he said quickly, and his words were rushed then. "I can play a lot more than just a bit. I've even written a few songs. I've been playing since I was three. I just didn't ... "
And even though he trailed off, unable to continue, I didn't mind. Even if he had continued, I wouldn't have caught a single word of it. My eyes were open wide in shock.
"T-three?" I gasped, remembering how small I had been when I was three. I couldn't imagine his hands, so small, being able to reach the different keys on a piano. I smiled, though, as I imagined Edward — so little — sitting upon a pinao bench.
He finally spoke. "Yeah. I was always jamming on the keys when my father would sit me beside him while he played. I was simply facinated by the piano, so my parents put me in classes. I wrote my first song when I was twelve."
"I always knew you were amazing," I said, and he laughed brightly.
"Yeah, well ... "
But he trailed off again, and took my hand in his.
"Anyway, I just ... want to show you something."
He dropped my hand then, and though I missed the warmth deeply, I barely noticed, for right then, the most beautiful music I'd ever heard slowly began to wash over me. It continued on and on, and at one point, Edward leaned over, and brushed his lips gently across my cheek.
I shivered as he whispered softly in my ear.
"I wrote this, Bella. I ... wrote this for you. I wrote it because of you. Every note, every feeling that coursed through me while I was writing this ... it's because this is you. This song is you."
His words sent shivers down my spine, and I could help but let my eyes flutter closed as the music continued to surge around me. It was so soft. So sweet. So beautiful. I couldn't possibly have inspired ... this, yet I pushed away those feelings of insecurity as I tried to paint a picture in my mind of Edward as he played for me.
I could imagine his fingers, so strong, flowing so perfectly across the piano. I could imagine his eyes, dancing with happiness, and I could imagine the smile that I knew was dancing across his lips.
I breathed in deeply, and let my head rest on his shoulder. Each note that washed over me stuck something deep inside, and before I knew what was happening, I was sobbing quietly against his shoulder, unable to control the emotions that were raging inside of me.
He was so beautiful. So perfect. And yet, he wanted to be my friend. He wanted to live his life with me, to spend his days reading to me when I couldn't read to myself. It was amazing, really. Staggering, that such a perfect creature would care even in the slightest about me.
I continued to sob, and I could feel him stiffen beside me. But I rested a hand on his arm in comfort, silently letting him know everything was all right. He seemed to understand, and without even pausing in his playing, he relaxed, and he hummed the song in my ear as he played very softly.
And then it ended.
Edward turned to face me, and his hands came up to cup my face. He pressed his forehead against mine, and I smiled, breathing him in. His thumbs brushed away the tears that flowed so slowly down my pale cheeks, and I took a deep, shuddering breath in, unable to control the tears that now so freely fell.
"Edward ... " I began, but I couldn't continue. My words caught in my throat, and I was unable to force them out past the sobs.
"Bella, I have something to tell you, and if I don't say it now, I'll never be able to work up the courage again."
He paused, and took a deep breath in, and as I felt his hands shaking on mine, I realized suddenly that I knew what he was going to say.
I don't want to see you again any more.
I could feel my heart beginning to break, and my breathing was heading toward hypervenelation. I tried to keep the tears in, but I couldn't quite manage.
"Bella!" Edward exclaimed, and I was suddenly in his arms.
Please, no. Please don't let him leave me, I begged silently, praying to any God that might hear me. Please don't take him away. He's all I have.
"E-Edward," I stuttered, and he held me tighter. "D-don't leave me."
He seemed almost angry then. He pulled away from me very suddenly, and although I couldn't see his face, I could imagine his eyes, alight with the anger I could feel raidating from him now. Oh, God, what had I said? What had I done wrong? Please ...
"Bella," he whispered, and I could tell that it was taking everything he had to keep his voice as calm as it was. "I. Will. Never. Leave. You," he said forcefully, stressing each and every word. And as he pulled me tightly into his arms once more, I knew he was speaking the truth. I gripped his shirt tightly in my hands, desperate to hold him to me.
"Edward," I sobbed, and he rocked me back and forth slowly.
"Bella, I ... I lo — "
But I didn't let him speak. I had ... I had to let him know. I had to tell him how I truly felt.
"Edward, I love you," I breathed, and his whole body became stiff. I smiled, burying my head in his chest as I breathed the final words that ran through my mind. "You're the best friend I could ever ask for."
There was a long pause, and then Edward finally spoke. "I love you, too, Bella," he whispered, and there was such pain lacing his words that I felt I would lose myself in it. It felt like I was suffocating, like I was drowning.
I love you.
You're the best friend I could ever ask for.
Once again, I feel that if I say much I will, number one, ruin the moment and, number two, end up begging you not to kill me.
NOTE: So Sad. Poor Edward. Enough said. Also, someone asked why I'm not doing the extended previews anymore. The reason I was doing them was to get a wide range of opinions of the next chapter, and not enough people were even looking. I might start againt soon, but ... yeah.
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NEXT CHAPTER:
"How about," Charlie said suddenly, breaking into my thoughts. "You come with me to the reservation tonight. I'm going to visit an old friend, and I'm sure he would love to have you there. Remember Billy? And his children? Rachael, Rebecka and Jacob? It's been a long time, huh?"
