Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who
Beautiful In Blue
A/N: Timeline Clarification
In the Pond's personal timeline, it's been five months since 'Asylum of the Daleks'.
In the Doctor's personal timeline, it's been one and a half months since Anna was created, and a week since 'Asylum of the Daleks'.
I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Chapter Twelve
River blinked in surprise at the eagerness in Anna's voice. "You…you do? How?" she questioned, struggling to sit up and look around her. The Doctor put his arm around her shoulders and helped her into a sitting position, with a look of concern in his warm grey green eyes. River looked around the bedroom; the oak panelling and curtained bed of the Victorian era clashing oddly with the mishmash of futuristic gadgets and scribbles of Gallifreyan writing. Then again, considering the bedroom belonged to a time machine-cum-Time Lady, the blend of past and future rather suited Anna.
Anna nodded, and asked River, "When you were Mels, or when she was you, did you listen to your parents?"
River started to shake her head, and then paused. "Not…not really" she admitted. "To be honest, they just went along with whatever I suggested. Well, Amy did. Rory sort of just got dragged into things". She remembered Rory berating her about shoplifting from the post office ("Lighten, up, Rory, it's only a few letters and stamps!" – "but Mels, stealing is wrong, no matter what you're taking or who from" ), then she realised that her memories were no longer clouded, no longer made her painfully sad.
"My head…it feels so much clearer…I thought you said you weren't good at this?" she asked Anna rhetorically, surprised that such a talented telepath would sell herself short.
"I'm not that good, but River, this is important. I have a plan, well it's more of an idea than a plan, but it will only work if Mels will listen to your parents" Anna insisted. Her mood had somehow whiplashed from eager and confident to serious in a matter of seconds. River could sense the gravity of the situation; she was not healed, not yet. And she wouldn't be until the Mels inside her mind could be stopped.
"I think she would. If it's something important; but I don't understand how they're supposed to talk to her. She is still inside my head, after all" River pointed out.
"Oh, that's okay. I can teach you how to bring other people into your mind. You're a good telepath, River – or at least, you could be" Anna praised her.
/
For a few days, Anna taught River the basics of touch telepathy. The Doctor wanted to teach her as well, but somehow found himself demoted to the role of tea maker and biscuit giver. He grumbled and complained about the unfairness of it all; only to receive twin disapproving frowns, and hear badly suppressed giggling when he'd left the room in a huff.
"Ow!" exclaimed River, as she hit one of Anna's barriers and was subsequently forced from her mind. "Are you okay?" asked Anna, and River nodded. She rubbed her head with the heel of her hand, kneading her skin.
"It's just so bloody hard" she complained, after a gulp of tea. "It feels like I'm blindly walking into walls every time I go in there" she pointed accusingly at Anna's forehead.
"That's because you're thinking too much, River" Anna replied calmly. "You have to keep your mind clear, so that you can actually see what is happening in my head. There's always a way past barriers, unless they are specifically designed to never be broken. So I suppose in that sense, there isn't always a way past them. Am I getting off topic? Yes, I am. River dear, you can't pass through walls, not even in somebody's head. You have to look for the door. Are you ready to try again?"
River sighed and reluctantly agreed. She cleared her mind, picturing all her thoughts flowing into a massive ocean, impossible to traverse. It was a part she found difficult, because reminding herself not to think inevitably led to her thinking. Her hands were lying on her lap; Anna took them and placed them against her own face.
/
After a little more practice, River could bring Anna and the Doctor into her subconscious, and transport them around inside her head. The plan was to bring either Amy or Rory into River's mind, and have them try to reason with Mels, to persuade her to let go of her past.
The Doctor rang the doorbell, and contemplated what to say to Amy when she swung open the door. In the event, he didn't have to worry about that, because when the door opened his mouth said "You're not Amy". He hadn't meant to say that, it had just come out. The Doctor looked again at the person before him and blurted, "You're her aunt!"
Sharon raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Yes, but I wonder who you are? After all, you can't possibly be the same man that pretended to be Amelia's imaginary friend" she protested, eyeing him suspiciously.
Shifting anxiously on the spot, the Doctor glanced back to where Anna and River were waiting besides the TARDIS. "No, I am Amelia's imaginary friend – well, not that imaginary! I err, was wondering where Amelia was, and her husband obviously" he explained. Apparently his boundless charm had no effect on Sharon, because she frowned angrily.
"Oh, don't tell me he's in on it too!" she groaned. The Doctor became confused; who was in on what? Sharon continued, "I thought Rory would get that girl grounded, and get all these ridiculous notions out of her head! Now you listen to me, whoever you are. You stay away from those two, or I'll call the police" she threatened him, before slamming the door in his face.
"I take it they're not home?" guessed River, and the Doctor shook his head. "This is ridiculous, I should have just tracked the registration number on Rory's car" he grumbled.
The cherry red Jaguar was parked neatly in one of the 'reserved for staff' spaces. A logo sat on the edge of the veranda. Something New – children's home, in bold white letters over a TARDIS blue background. There was a sunflower next to the words, its bright yellow colour clashing cheerfully with the blue and white.
The reception area was airy and spacious, with a panelled wood flooring that was just made for sliding on. "Don't even think about it, Doctor" said River, and the Doctor started. "Think about what? I wasn't thinking about anything, much less sliding – ah!" He clamped his mouth shut when he realised they'd tricked him. River and Anna exchanged knowing smirks.
Rory emerged from a side door and spotted the threesome. "Rory Williams!" the Doctor announced in excitement, noticing him but a moment later. Rory briefly allowed the exuberant Time Lord to hug him; then he pushed past the Doctor and embraced his daughter. River melted into the hug with a sigh of relief; it felt good to see her father again.
"What's wrong?" he asked when he pulled away. "Trust you to notice" River quipped lightly, adding "it's nothing to worry about. Just a Time Lord thing, we need yours and Amy's help sorting it out". When Rory glanced at Anna and the Doctor, they both nodded in earnest agreement.
"Sure", he shrugged, deciding to give them the benefit of the doubt, "I'll take you to her". They made their way through the children's home, past framed crayon drawings and vases of flowers. It was bright and cheerful. "Amy started this charity as a sort of project. She's started on dozens of them, and they never last but this time, she stuck with it, like a dog with a bone" explained Rory. The Doctor smiled fondly; his Amy Pond, model turned social worker.
"What's the charity raising money for, exactly?" asked River.
"Well, Amy wasn't sure what to raise money for, so she raises it for pretty much everything. People with depression like Van Gogh, parents who have lost children like we sort of did, even Third World problems. Our sunflower logo is getting to be just as popular as Marie Curie's daffodil" Rory said with a touch of pride in his voice. Two young girls ran past, giggling madly and dodging between the adults legs.
Rory led them to Amy's office. It had a large window, comfy swirly chairs and a large oak desk. "Doctor!" she cried in delight upon his entrance. "Hello, Pond! Sorry, it's Williams now isn't it, but you know, Hello Williams just doesn't have the same ring to it, and you're not even listening to me are you?" he asked Amy, who shook her head. "Nope, stopped listening. Hi, River, Anna. What are you all doing here?" she asked.
"River says she needs our help sorting out some Time Lord thing or other" Rory supplied helpfully. Amy shifted a cardboard box full of folders and papers off the nearest chair and gestured for her daughter to sit down. "I have questions" announced the Doctor, only to be ignored completely. "Oi, did you know your aunt is in your house? What sort of aunt lives at their daughter's house?" he asked incredulously.
Amy rolled her eyes (he considered offering to take her to an optometrist), and informed him that her aunt was cleaning the house. "She needed a new job, her old one had to make some cutbacks" explained Rory.
"I'm not surprised" the Doctor muttered under his breath; not quietly enough, it seemed, because the others raised their eyebrows at him. "She didn't believe I was your imaginary friend! Said she was gonna have me arrested!" he cried indignantly.
"Doctor, if my aunt ever believed me about you, I wouldn't have been sent to four psychiatrists. Never mind Aunt Sharon, what's this Time Lord thingy you need help with?" inquired Amy.
Between them, River, Anna and the Doctor explained the concept of melding, and the telepathic training that River had undergone with Anna's tutelage. "Mels and Melody – my two previous lives – they're still in my head, somewhere. And Mels wants me to…regress, I suppose, back into her" River clarified.
"So Mels just wants you to look like her again? Can you do that?" asked Rory. The Doctor took it upon himself to reply. "In some cases, very rarely, a Time Lord can degenerate and appear as a past incarnation. To be honest it was usually seen as a big hassle, not much point to it really. But Mels doesn't just want River to look like her, Rory. She wants River to be her. To be my killer again" he explained, gazing at River. It was difficult to tell exactly what thoughts were spinning in his head.
Anna piped up, "I've spoken to Mels, inside River's mind. She as good as told me that she feels neglected, and angry. One of you has to go into River's mind and convince Mels to let go of her past. If she doesn't, she'll keep trying to force River into a mental regression" she described, and River's parents glanced at one another.
"You should do it" Rory told Amy, whose brown eyes widened in surprise. "Mels was always closer to you anyway. She won't listen to me; I mean, she never did when we were kids". Amy considered it; she and Mels had been very close, partners in crime really, but Mels had hardly listened to her or Rory. There was also the small matter of how she was supposed to talk to her best friend when she was, in effect, inside River's head. "But I'm not even telepathic" she objected.
"Don't worry; it's just like stepping through a door. Will you do it, Amy?" River asked her. There was a slight pause, before Amy smiled widely and reached over to squeeze River's hand. "What sort of mother would I be if I said no?" she asked rhetorically.
The Doctor grinned. "Brilliant, you'll do great, both of you. So, Roranicus, any chance of a tour for me and Anna here?" he quizzed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Rory looked unsure, but when his wife and adult daughter waved him off, he submitted and took them to see the children's home. When they reached the garden out in the back, where the home's young residents were playing football. A badly aimed shot sent the ball whizzing towards them; the Doctor caught it with the toe of his boot and bounced it on his knee.
"Can we have our ball back?" asked the girl who had kicked it. She had short blonde hair, and grass stains all over her t-shirt and shorts ensemble; a typical tomboy.
"Just a sec" replied the Doctor. He stepped away from Anna and Rory, still bouncing the ball, and performed a trick with it that sent it up in the air, before catching it on his back. "Know any tricks like that?" he asked the girl mischievously, and just like that, the kids crowded around, clamouring to be taught. Anna smiled, happy as always to see him enjoying himself.
Rory trusted the Doctor with the children, and he suggested to Anna that they leave the Time Lord to his footballing antics for the time being. "I don't know about you, but I could kill for a cup of tea right now" he sighed. When Anna gave him an alarmed stare, he added "erm, it's just an expression".
She relaxed at that, and nodded. Rory called to the Doctor, told him where they'd be; of course he probably wasn't paying attention. The staff kitchen was empty, and it didn't take Rory long to whip up a couple of cups of tea. "Mels always had two sugars in her tea, as well" he commented as he passed Anna a steaming mug. "I suppose River has the same. Um, so, you're the TARDIS, right? And the Doctor said River was the Child of the TARDIS. How does that work, exactly?" he asked.
Anna blew the steam from her tea and took a delicate sip. "It doesn't" she stated calmly. Rory shrugged and conceded that it no doubt did not. "Did River…did she inherit anything from you? In terms of personality, I mean?" he wondered aloud, and Anna negated it with a shake of her head. "No, not personality – or perhaps, she did. You know if it makes you less confused, let's not see River as my Child" she suggested, "instead, she could be…"
She paused here, a slight frown knitting her finely arched brows. River could be…could be…a smile blossomed on Anna's face because she realised exactly what River could be, which niche in her Heart she could sit in, a void that even her dear Thief couldn't fill. "She could be my Sister". A faraway expression melted onto her face; she stared into the middle distance with one hand wrapped loosely around her mug. The hairs on the back of Rory's neck stood up; Anna had the same half sad, half fond, entirely reminiscent face he'd seen on the Doctor all too many times.
In the end, Anna seemed to realise she had begun daydreaming, and gave Rory a reassuring smile. "What else is wrong?" she inquired, and he stiffened slightly. She seemed to read him too easily. "Sorry, what? Nothing's wrong" he lied, even though he knew it was no good. Something in the calm, kind gaze that Anna levelled at him made him want to tell her all his troubles.
"I…it's just…I don't know how much more of this I can take!" he groaned, face-palming. "River being our daughter and our best friend and our other best friend's wife, these 2000 years of memories inside my head, the fact that my life will never be normal again; it just gets hard to deal with, sometimes" he sighed, and slumped on the table. His break would be over soon. Five more minutes of peace…
He glanced at Anna, who had her head tilted to the side in the manner of a curious puppy. "But you are dealing with it" she pointed out. "My Thief has had so many wonderful companions, but I doubt any of them could have gone through what you and your wife have, and still remain strong. And…it will get better. It's possible to come to terms with anything, given time".
Rory considered this, and understood that Anna was right. They sipped the rest of their tea in silence, and then Rory glanced at his watch. Two minutes before the end of his break. "Listen, I uh, have to get back to work. D'you think you can find your way around okay?" he asked Anna, who merely gave a polite nod. Rory gave her a thumbs up and then headed for the door; before he could open it, however, Amy and River walked in.
"There you are! We've been looking everywhere. Where's the Doctor?" his wife asked, sliding into his vacated chair. "Oh, he's err, out in the garden with the children, so…what happened? Is River…is her mind okay now?" he questioned.
River grinned at her father. "Yes, daddy, it's all better now, mother won the argument with Mels" she reassured him.
Anna stood up and whispered in River's ear. "Let him speak to Melody". River smiled. "Come on, Rory, there's something I want to do for you" she announced, steering him away despite his objections that he had to get back to work. Amy placed the two used mugs into the sink, filled them with water, and turned to Anna.
"Thank you" she said, "for helping River, I mean. 'Cos, at first I thought, you'd be fighting over the Doctor, but I guess I was wrong" she admitted. Anna smiled. "You're welcome, Amy. Excuse me? I must see my Thief".
The Doctor didn't particularly wish to stop playing with the kids, but when one of his incredible tricks came perilously close to smashing the screen door, he accepted that perhaps he ought to quit whilst he was ahead. He gave a few last pointers to the kids and set them off playing an entire football match, before following Anna to the TARDIS like a student following the teacher to the headmaster's office.
Inside the TARDIS, Anna gave him a beaming smile. "I think we've done well, don't you? Our baby seems happy about it" she said, showing him the glowing light. He'd altered the colour, at her request, to silver; it reminded her of sunlight hitting the leaves of the forests on Gallifrey, whereas the green light had reminded her of House and her deceased Sisters.
"Obviously, I mean yes, we've done well. We've done brilliantly. Anna, how come the baby never seems to be in danger? Not that I want it to be in danger, of course, I'm just surprised there hasn't been any, you know, complications" he rambled.
"It's only been a month or so; and there is a reason our child is healthy and well, but I don't think I should tell you".
"Why not?"
"You'll say it's the adjectival form of some yellow dairy product".
"Cheesy. I believe the word you're looking for, darling, is cheesy. And undoubtedly, it is cheesy, but I still want to know the reason".
"Very well, let me show you". Anna placed her fingers on his temples, and allowed him access to her mind. For a moment, the Doctor was almost overwhelmed by the feelings of love and protection that filled him from his crown to the soles of his feet. Nestled in the midst of this warmth and comfort was a tiny golden spark, that reached out and brushed against the edge of his consciousness with a feather light touch. The spark was his baby, his precious child's mind.
His knees, his whole body trembled with love. He wrapped his own mind around his child's, and caught the barest glimpse of himself cradling this wondrous life in his physical arms. Anna's love for the baby was so strong; it even protected even the embryo in her womb. She loved his child and his companions and River and himself equally, and the Doctor had no idea what he'd ever done to deserve her.
He slowly came back to himself, eyes wet with unshed tears. He could still sense that tiny glimmer of life at the edges of his mind, and sent all the love he could muster towards it. Anna gave him an adoring smile and his hearts melted. The Doctor said the first thing that came into his head. "That was incredible".
And then, he kissed her.
