The preceding are all the different names that went through Thorins mind while trying to explain sex to his nephews. This list is the result of a collaboration between several great minds. Enjoy.

Albino Cave Dweller

baby-arm

baby-maker

baloney pony

beaver basher

beef whistle

bell on a pole

bishop

boomstick

braciole

bratwurst

candle

choad

chopper

chub

chubby

cock

cranny axe

cum gun

custard launcher

dagger

deep-V diver

dick

dickie

dipstick

dog head

dong

donger

dork

dragon

drum stick

fang

ferret

fire hose

flesh flute

flesh tower

froto

fuck rod

fudge sickle

fun stick

hog

hose

junk

kickstand

knob

krull the warrior king

lap rocket

leaky hose

lizard

longfellow

love muscle

love rod

love stick

manhood

meat constrictor

meat injection

meat popsicle

meat stick

meat thermometer

member

middle stump

Moisture and heat seeking venomous throbbing python of love

mushroom head

mutton

netherrod

old boy

old fellow

old man

one-eyed monster

one-eyed snake

one-eyed trouser-snake

one-eyed wonder weasel

one-eyed yogurt slinger

pecker

peepee

pink oboe

piss weasle

plug

poinswatter

pork sword

prick

private eye

private part

purple-headed yogurt flinger

purple-helmeted warrior of love

quiver bone

rod of pleasure

roundhead

sausage

schlong

schlong dongadoodle

shaft

short arm

single barrelled pump action bollock yogurt shotgun

skin flute

soldier

spawn hammer

stick shift

Tallywhacker

Tan Bannana

tassle

third leg

thumper

thunderbird

thundersword

tinker

tonk

tool

trouser dragon

trouser snake

tubesteak

twig (& berries)

twinkie

vein

wand

wang

wang doodle

wanger

wee wee

whoopie stick

wick

wiener

willy

wing dang doodle

winkie

yogurt gun

EDIT (Continued):

The D

Vitamin D

Get Right

Ouch-maker

Love Ladel

Knife

Pile Driver

Meat Flute

Flesh Flute

Hustle Muscle

Magic Stick

Longshanks

Slime spitting flesh monster

Dick stick make it quick

Trouser tumor

Mr. Long skin

Pump action protein shake dispenser

Hump lump

Flesh bat with balls included

helmet

crafty butcher

Meat and two veg

tooter moose

Bloodhorn

Dirty Hairy

Trouser Trout

Ace in the hole

All-day sucker

Apple headed monster

Bald-headed yogurt slinger

Blood engorged mayonnaise cannon

Boneless beef

Chowder dumper

Clam digger

Custard cannon

Danger the one-eyed ranger

Danglin' furry

Foaming beef probe

Gleaming love sword

Glo Worm

He who must be obeyed

Hymen hammer

Jizz whiz

Lady dagger

Lance of love

Leather lollipop

Love muscle

Magenta mushroom

Man in the pink helmet

Mr. Bobo

Mushroom-tipped love dart

Nut cannon

One-eyed wonder worm

One-eyed trouser trout

Protein spigot

Purple-helmeted soldier of love

Slippery love dolphin

Third arm of justice

Throbbing purple pneumatic drill of love

Upright citizen

Uterus unicorn

Vaginal depth detector

Veinous maximums

Weapon of ass destruction

Winky the milk spitting tunnel ferret