The preceding are all the different names that went through Thorins mind while trying to explain sex to his nephews. This list is the result of a collaboration between several great minds. Enjoy.
Albino Cave Dweller
baby-arm
baby-maker
baloney pony
beaver basher
beef whistle
bell on a pole
bishop
boomstick
braciole
bratwurst
candle
choad
chopper
chub
chubby
cock
cranny axe
cum gun
custard launcher
dagger
deep-V diver
dick
dickie
dipstick
dog head
dong
donger
dork
dragon
drum stick
fang
ferret
fire hose
flesh flute
flesh tower
froto
fuck rod
fudge sickle
fun stick
hog
hose
junk
kickstand
knob
krull the warrior king
lap rocket
leaky hose
lizard
longfellow
love muscle
love rod
love stick
manhood
meat constrictor
meat injection
meat popsicle
meat stick
meat thermometer
member
middle stump
Moisture and heat seeking venomous throbbing python of love
mushroom head
mutton
netherrod
old boy
old fellow
old man
one-eyed monster
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake
one-eyed wonder weasel
one-eyed yogurt slinger
pecker
peepee
pink oboe
piss weasle
plug
poinswatter
pork sword
prick
private eye
private part
purple-headed yogurt flinger
purple-helmeted warrior of love
quiver bone
rod of pleasure
roundhead
sausage
schlong
schlong dongadoodle
shaft
short arm
single barrelled pump action bollock yogurt shotgun
skin flute
soldier
spawn hammer
stick shift
Tallywhacker
Tan Bannana
tassle
third leg
thumper
thunderbird
thundersword
tinker
tonk
tool
trouser dragon
trouser snake
tubesteak
twig (& berries)
twinkie
vein
wand
wang
wang doodle
wanger
wee wee
whoopie stick
wick
wiener
willy
wing dang doodle
winkie
yogurt gun
EDIT (Continued):
The D
Vitamin D
Get Right
Ouch-maker
Love Ladel
Knife
Pile Driver
Meat Flute
Flesh Flute
Hustle Muscle
Magic Stick
Longshanks
Slime spitting flesh monster
Dick stick make it quick
Trouser tumor
Mr. Long skin
Pump action protein shake dispenser
Hump lump
Flesh bat with balls included
helmet
crafty butcher
Meat and two veg
tooter moose
Bloodhorn
Dirty Hairy
Trouser Trout
Ace in the hole
All-day sucker
Apple headed monster
Bald-headed yogurt slinger
Blood engorged mayonnaise cannon
Boneless beef
Chowder dumper
Clam digger
Custard cannon
Danger the one-eyed ranger
Danglin' furry
Foaming beef probe
Gleaming love sword
Glo Worm
He who must be obeyed
Hymen hammer
Jizz whiz
Lady dagger
Lance of love
Leather lollipop
Love muscle
Magenta mushroom
Man in the pink helmet
Mr. Bobo
Mushroom-tipped love dart
Nut cannon
One-eyed wonder worm
One-eyed trouser trout
Protein spigot
Purple-helmeted soldier of love
Slippery love dolphin
Third arm of justice
Throbbing purple pneumatic drill of love
Upright citizen
Uterus unicorn
Vaginal depth detector
Veinous maximums
Weapon of ass destruction
Winky the milk spitting tunnel ferret
