Daichi arrives at school early the next morning only to realize he doesn't have the key to the gym or club room. He sits on the ground in front of the gym, sliding his bag off of his shoulder and watching his breath swirl in the air in before him. He only got a few hours of sleep last night.
Suga's body, bloodied and naked, flashes behind his eyelids whenever Daichi blinks, and a jolt of terror traces the line of his spine until he remembers that the setter's not there anymore. He's not on that mountain. It freaks him out though, and he can't stop himself from seeing it or thinking about how cold Suga had been, how motionless. For a short moment, when his flashlight beam had first found the vice-captain's body, Daichi had thought that his friend was dead.
Terrifying.
So scary that when he finally called home, his mother's initial shriek wasn't as worrisome at all. His mom had been mad, a lot angrier than he had let on to Suga, but she had let him stay to see his friend.
And though he explained the situation, with the least amount of omissions possible, he felt disappointment gnawing in his stomach with each word said. There's so much his mom doesn't know about what happened that night. And there were so many instances on the ride home, staring through his reflection in the window, that he thought, this is a good time to tell her. I should tell her now. Tell her that I'm gay and I'm in love with my best friend. But every time he hesitated and the moment passed only to be replaced by an identical one, but it seemed so different in his mind. Daichi was on edge the entire way home, choking on things he couldn't bring himself to say but also secretly wishing his mom could read the truth in his expression.
Once he was alone in his room, the feeling of nervous anticipation faded slowly to be replaced by the images that now haunt him. Daichi remembers the exact feel of coldness on his skin, remembers exactly how the starlight shone through the trees. Remembers Suga lying there.
"Aw. Sawamura-kun," Takeda-sensei says suddenly, making Daichi jump. "We're going to be having a team meeting this morning about Sugawara-kun's condition." Takeda's voice falters on Suga's name.
Daichi stands, rubbing away the goosebumps through his coat, and replies, "Okay, I'll—"
"Actually," Takeda cuts in kindly, placing a hand on Daichi's shoulder and steering him away from the gym, "I want to speak with you separately. Ukai is going to speak to the team."
"Why?"
"You see, Sugawara-kun's mom called this morning." Takeda seems anxious. Pushing up his glasses, he stops by the stairs that lead up to the club room. "There's been a change in his condition since you last saw him, and she wanted to, uh—"
"Change? What happened?" Daichi asks quickly.
"You should sit down."
"Just tell me. Is he all right? He has to be okay, right?"
"Please just sit down, Sawamura-kun," Takeda repeats. Daichi throws himself down on the cement steps, wringing his hands and tapping his foot, eyes widened expectantly. "Sugawara-kun tried to take his own life."
He feels the weight of every syllable Takeda says. 'Tried to take his own life.' Wanted to die. Tried to die. Suga. Daichi simultaneously wants his advisor to hurry with the rest of the details yet is also terrified of the truth.
"He lost a lot of blood." Tears drip down Takeda's face and he doesn't move to wipe them away. "He's comatose. I'm sorry to have to tell you this."
Daichi doesn't know what to say. The words are pressing down on his shoulders, a series of increasingly heavy weights, so hefty that this can't possibly be happening. How is he supposed to react to this when he hasn't even seen Suga for himself? Maybe Takeda-sensei heard wrong and is mistaken. Suga, in a coma? Those sorts of things only happen in movies. The setter has to be okay. Daichi saw him last night.
He wants so badly to believe his naïve line of thinking. Otherwise, does this mean it was all for nothing?
"I know this must be a shock," Takeda continues. "I understand that you and Azumane-kun went searching for Sugawara-kun last night and found him. That's an amazing feat. You've done everything you could have."
Amazing? Daichi isn't sure how exactly he feels right now, but not amazing. Angry maybe. Angry at himself for not doing everything he could have, at Suga for choosing the easy way out, at Takeda just because the teacher is here in front of him. Disappointed. Because, of course, nothing ever goes the way it's supposed to.
The truth is he kind of wants to laugh and he kind of wants to punch something and he kind of wants to feel anything, everything, but this creeping sadness and guilt. He blinks and sees Suga's unmoving body again, feels the coldness of his skin. If Suga dies, he'll be like that again, but permanently. If Suga dies, Daichi will never get the chance to talk to him again. He'll never—if Suga dies…
What was it all for?
What was Suga thinking? What did Suga's dad say to him that Suga agreed with?
"Sawamura-kun?"
Daichi finds his voice and focuses on their advisor. "Yes. I'm okay." He internally laughs. What a fucking liar. You're obviously not okay. There's so much pressure in his chest from the things he's feeling and not feeling and wants to feel, and he doesn't know how to pick them apart, so they just sit there. All he knows is that he's not okay.
"There's a quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She said, 'Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.' I think it's a very apt saying for right now." Takeda looks down at Daichi hopefully, quote obviously meant to cheer him. When he sees that it doesn't, he tries explaining. "Weather the storm and you'll be better off for it in the end."
Windstorms. Rainstorms. Snowstorms. Unresponsive, Daichi sits there thinking that if this a storm passing, why hasn't it gone yet? Isn't this enough pain for one storm? The streets are flooded, yet the onslaught hasn't lessened, and it's true, there are rainbows after rainstorms, but there are also damaged homes, broken roads, muddy pits where flowerbeds used to be. Is there really any beauty to be found in this?
Obviously Suga didn't think so.
"I know this is hard," Takeda-sensei tries again calmly, tears having dried completely. "It's hard for all of us. And I don't say this to downplay what you're feeling, but to let you know that you're not alone. You have ten teammates, your parents, Coach Ukai, and I, whom you can rely on. All right?"
He says, "Yes. Thank you." He starts wondering when he can leave because he doesn't want to be sitting on these steps anymore, but he's not sure there's anywhere he can go that will feel better than here.
"I mean it," Takeda insists. "Perhaps I shouldn't say this, but right now Coach Ukai is informing the rest of the team, and they're likely to be confused and sad. Inevitably they're going to look to you, Sawamura-kun, for guidance."
Daichi relaxes his fists, which he didn't realize he was even making until now. He hadn't thought this far ahead. The rest of the team still needs me.
"So, my question to you is, 'how are you going to meet them?'"
XX
"I have some bad news."
"Coach, Daichi and Suga aren't here yet," Tanaka remarks. There are a few murmurs of assent from the team. Asahi can't imagine how they'll react. He didn't have the luxury of being told in a controlled environment like this. I nearly drove off the road.
"Our captain and vice-captain are late?" Noya scoffs. "I wonder—"
"Guys," Asahi cuts in solemnly. But really, where is Daichi?
Coach Ukai waits until everyone is settled down. Asahi casts his gaze along the expectant faces of his teammates sitting around him. Ennoshita and Yamaguchi are visibly bracing themselves. Tsukishima looks like he already has some sort of inkling. Narita and Kinoshita seem apprehensive. Tanaka and Noya's faces fall into worried frowns while Hinata and Kageyama's expressions follow suit. Shimizu whispers something to an almost-trembling Yachi, but it doesn't seem to do much to quell the girl's anxiety.
Asahi just traces patterns on the floor beneath him with his fingertip and bites his lip. He doesn't want to hear it again, but maybe it will make more sense a second time. Because the grizzly nature of the word "rape" didn't prepare him for the sight he saw upon finding Suga.
"I should warn you that what is said in this room is to be kept strictly between the team," Ukai says firmly. "The principal and a handful of staff are the only ones privy to this information. And you guys. So, I trust that you will not speak to anyone outside this room about it."
Several members' eyes to widen. Asahi feels put on the spot even though it's not his secret to be told. Is Suga really okay with this? Suga's unconscious form flashes in his mind and Asahi quickly banishes it with nicer memories—like the day they went to the planetarium.
He knows he should have stayed to see Suga last night, he just…He was just scared. After seeing the gray-haired boy like that on the mountain, he was afraid to see it again, the image of his friend's body unmoving and bloody. Or what if the setter smiled and pretended like everything was fine? That would be just as unnerving. So, the ace was too scared to look in on his teammate even after all his talk of having Suga and Daichi trust and rely on him.
Asahi shakes his head. You can do better.
"It's about Sugawara." Ukai collects his breath, and in that second, Asahi can feel the weight of a dozen questions held back. "Early this morning, while being treated in the hospital, he attempted suicide."
Asahi's head snaps up, body cold and eyes wide, silently begging that he heard wrong. Attempted suicide? Suga was all right when he left yesterday, as far as he knew. Suga wouldn't try kill himself—he wouldn't… Coach Ukai meets his gaze, eyes grave and knowing, and the ace shakes his head trying to make sense of it all. Around him, he hears the shocked gasps of his teammates and questions that can no longer be contained flung out into the air.
Ukai silences them all with a hand. "The doctors were able to save him but he's now in a coma."
It's quiet as they all let this information sink in. A months-old image of Suga pops into his head just then. It's of the setter grinning from ear to in the club room. Asahi can't remember the context of that smile, only remembers the result, but he remembers it now, making it nearly impossible to reconcile the thought of Suga with suicide. Noya's eyes are completely circular as they meet the ace's silently, dazed. Asahi feels the cool track of a tear drip down his cheek.
"I know this is a shock. I'm sorry," Ukai tries consolingly. But his words open the floodgates.
"Coma? No way," Tanaka says confidently. After a breath and when no one reassures him, his voice falling into a whisper. "No way. There's no way. No, no, no way."
Yachi starts sobbing into Shimizu's shoulder. Ennoshita, dark eyes glistening, pats the mumbling Tanaka on the back while Noya bites his fingernails and shakes his head like he's trying to figure out a difficult math problem. Hinata is crying Suga's name and clinging to Kageyama's arm. Surprisingly, the young setter doesn't push him away, just sits there pale and unresponsive. Asahi wipes the tears from his own face, but more replace them just as quickly. Maybe if they'd gotten there faster last night…
"You said he was being treated in the hospital." Tsukishima is the first one to directly address the coach. Everyone looks to him when he speaks. "Why was he there in the first place?"
In their expressions, Asahi can see a new round of questions being born. Yamaguchi blinks around his tears, searching for an answer in his best friend's face.
"Where's Daichi-san?" Tanaka asks abruptly.
"Yeah," Noya jumps in. He stands. "What's going on? How come it has to be so secret? Why would Suga do something like that? Why was he at the hospital? What the hell is going on?" The libero's jaw is clenched tight, eyes burning despite tears starting to form there. His agitation bleeds into the air like a poisonous fog, putting the rest of them even more on edge.
"Nishinoya, calm down," Ukai says. "I'm going to tell you as much as I can. It's just that it's a sensitive topic, so again, I need your discretion."
"Noya, sit down," Asahi whispers. His gentle command is met by Noya's compliance despite a barely concealed wariness, the libero sprawling into the space between him and Tanaka. Asahi exhales heavily.
"The reason Sugawara was at the hospital was because, yesterday, he was attacked." Coach Ukai breathes, gathering his bearings, while everyone starts to question all at once.
"Attacked?"
"By who?"
"What happened?"
"Was it a robbery?"
"He was raped," Ukai says suddenly, in the midst of the voices. "Sugawara was sexually assaulted."
It's like an electric shock spikes through the airwaves, because the team pauses, surprise and confusion affecting their posture and expressions. For now, the disbelief masks the hurt and they don't feel the full extent of the pain just yet, though the echoes of it are starting to form inside.
Ukai keeps going, pretending he doesn't notice his stunned audience. "We don't know who the perpetrator is. We just know that he has a car and Sugawara likely came across him on his way home from school. So, I'm asking you all to be vigilant and report any suspicious activity to the school or authorities."
There's a mixture of horror and shock painted across the sea of faces around him.
"R-rape?" someone whispers like it's a curse word.
Noya's fists ball again and his face scrunches up. "Who would—Why would somebody—?" He can barely get the words out, voice strangled with rage. "I'm going to—I swear, when I find out who did this, I'm going to kill them."
"We should be thinking about Suga-san, not about 'killing' anybody," Ennoshita says.
"Me too," Tanaka says, speaking over him. "I'm going to kill him."
Noya nods stonily. "Let him come after me. It'll be his mistake."
"Guys, don't talk like that," Asahi adds, jumping into the fray. He should have expected the second years to react like this. People of action, of course their first instinct would be to want to fight back, even if they don't know who they should be fighting. He doesn't like hearing them talking about killing someone, even if they aren't serious about—not after hearing Suga brush with death.
"Don't think about doing anything stupid," Ukai growls, glaring and angry. "This is not something to be talked about so lightly. This person is very dangerous. Your teammate is in the hospital."
Asahi flinches at his tone. Cowed by the coach's words, they all fall silent. The person who hurt Suga is very dangerous. If the libero saw Suga's condition last night, heard the way his voice faded in and out or the sobs through the phone, he wouldn't say 'let him come after me.' The thought of anything happening to Noya or his other teammates is chilling. It's paralyzing.
"What are we going to do? Suga-san wanted to die." Hinata breaks the silence. "And now we can't even talk to him, to tell him how much we need him and care about him and-and..."
"Hinata," Yamaguchi starts, obviously at a loss as to what to say, looking almost as distraught as the boy he's trying to comfort. He reaches out to pat Hinata gently on the back while the smaller boy, face wet and red and crumpled, continues to cling to Kageyama. Yamaguchi leans closer, glancing back at Tsukishima momentarily as he mumbles, "It's okay. It's going to be okay."
"Shouyou, Yamaguchi's right," Noya says.
"I don't want him to die," Hinata cries as Kageyama tries and fails to detach the spiker from his arm.
"Shut up, dumbass. He's going to be fine," the setter says sounding so sure of himself that Asahi almost believes him, until he looks up at them all and asks, "Right?"
His question is met by sighs and unsure coughs. Sadness hangs in the air, all of them aware of how helpless they are in this situation. Suga's in a coma. They don't know if things are going to be all right.
"Suga-san, what were you thinking?" Tanaka mutters.
"We can go see him, right?" Yamaguchi asks. "After school today?"
Just then, the gym doors open and close, Asahi turns his head to see Daichi standing barely inside threshold, having frozen at everyone's gaze on him. He looks like he hasn't slept at all. Taking a visible breath, he approaches the group, features fixed into a stoic expression, nervous, twitching fingers the only thing betraying the calm exterior.
"Daichi-san!" Hinata squeals, shooting up and throwing his arms around the captain's waist. Daichi releases a surprised breath, and then the entire team is on their feet and surrounding him, asking questions, gazes confused and searching. The atmosphere feels both chaotic and calm now that their captain has arrived. Daichi pats the little spiker's head absentmindedly while trying to respond to the team's countless questions.
"What's going to happen now?" someone asks.
They still. And wait. Daichi straightens himself up to his full height, squaring his shoulders and looking each individual member in the eye. Asahi can tell that he's rearing to say something significant. It may be an act, but it's a damn good one, and everyone just wants to believe in something right now. Everyone just wants to feel comforted.
"We're going to get through this, all of us. Suga may be in a coma, but he's in the hospital and he's being taken care of. We just have to be patient and wait until he gets better. And when he wakes up, we need to be there for him." The team hangs onto every word. Daichi's voice is strong and clear. "That doesn't mean asking him a million questions or telling him what you think he should do. Just be supportive. Be kind.
"I've talked to Takeda-sensei," Daichi announces just as the man in question enters the gym, "and we've decided it's best to avoid being out during dark hours as much as we can, which means no extra practice in the evenings and no morning practice for the time being. We'll take today after school off too."
"That's for the best," Ukai chimes in when the captain catches his eye.
The team accepts this with glum faces. Daichi detaches himself from Hinata. "I think that's it," the captain says, looking between Takeda and Ukai. "Wait. The Nekoma match—what do you think of postponing it? We won't be practicing much next week, and without—"
He stops suddenly. He still looks stoic but they all know how much it hurts to think about Suga's absence. No one opposes postponing the match.
"We can make arrangements."
"You guys can get the equipment now," Daichi says with a clap.
The crowd disperses, a few guys putting their heads together to speak in low voices, but, surprisingly, Tsukishima stays behind. Too curious, Asahi watches out of the corner of his eye as the blonde grabs Hinata by the sleeve and drags him back to Daichi. Even though he's too far away to hear what's being said, the facial expressions of the group seem tense. Daichi's eyebrows jump at what Tsukishima says, and then the captain sighs and replies tiredly. Tsukishima doesn't seem convinced and turns to the smaller middle blocker expectantly. Shaking his head nervously as he speaks, Hinata appears only to irritate the blonde.
Asahi watches Tsukishima pull Hinata away, an interesting look passing between them and the other first years. Confusion and curiosity get the best of the ace and he approaches Daichi.
"What was that about?" Asahi asks.
"They overheard a part of the fight I had with Suga on Monday. They know he was being threatened and they were questioning me about it." Daichi blows out a huge breath and runs both hands through his hair, gaze unfocused. "I don't know what to do," he mumbles, looking incredibly lost. "Do I keep his secrets? It's not like he's dead. If he wakes up tomorrow and finds out I told everyone everything… But am I doing any good by not saying anything? Or do I owe him this much?"
"Oh." Asahi ponders this. What a difficult situation to find yourself in. What would he do if it were his choice?
"I have to tell his parents though. I don't think it's going to change much if they know the truth, but they deserve to know. He can't be mad at me for that, right?"
"But you lied to Tsukishima and Hinata just now?"
Daichi clears his throat, mouth wobbling. It looks as if he's putting so much effort into not crying, which makes Asahi more worried than if he had cried. The captain angles his body so that the rest of the team can't see his face as he admits, "I don't want them to hate me. I'm scared they'll blame because I knew all this time the danger Suga was in and I didn't stop it."
Asahi puts a hand on his friend's shoulder. "They won't hate you," he says reassuringly. "They can't hate you for that."
"Thanks, Asahi."
XX
Tsukishima isn't prepared for the sight of Suga lying in the hospital bed. He's shocked at the extent of the setter's injuries. He hovers near the back of the team, who have all stuffed themselves into the hospital room and are taking turns at Sugawara's bedside. Seeing the second years crying today feels different from all the other times he's seen them shed tears. He thinks that if Sugawara-san were here—really here—then he would be able to say something to comfort them. Like, if it were anyone else in that hospital bed, things wouldn't be so—Tsukishima peers around at the wet and broken faces.
The blonde looks down at his interlocked fingers.
Things wouldn't be so depressing.
Daichi isn't here either. He said he would wait until they were finished. Even though he had projected such a calm, collected aura earlier when he'd spoken to the team at morning practice—even though he had promised that they would get through this together—he's choosing to struggle alone. It started to become evident when Daichi denied knowing anything more about the person threatening Sugawara, which was an obvious lie. He's trying to figure this all out on his own. Whether it's to keep us safe or some strange sense of pride, the captain intends to pursue this without telling us all the facts.
I mean, it's his business if that's what he wants to do, but—
"Tsukki," Yamaguchi says quietly, interrupting his thoughts. "It's your turn if you want to go."
Not really. Instead he nods and walks up to Sugawara's bedside, not sure why he feels so uneasy. It's true that he feels a little uncomfortable standing in this room because it seems invasive watching someone sleeping. Oddly intimate, but given the circumstances, more sad. It's weird, but that's not the only source of his discomfort.
Suga would look peaceful if it weren't for the bruises.
We don't talk much, but I think it's really messed up that you had to go through something so terrible. I'm sorry. When you wake up, we all promised to be here for you, but if you wait too long, Daichi's gonna have an aneurysm.
"I'll be going ahead," he says on his way to the door. Ennoshita and Asahi call out quiet goodbyes to him. He's halfway down the main hallway when he hears running footsteps and Yamaguchi's call for him to wait up. He slows his pace slightly.
"No one should really be walking home alone right now," Yamaguchi says, catching his breath and falling into pace beside Tsukishima. "It's not safe."
I knew you'd come after me, is the first thought that passes through his mind. He shrugs and sticks his hands in his pockets, replying, "Do you plan on walking me all the way to my door?"
"That's not what I meant." His friend is about to say something more when Tsukishima stops suddenly in his tracks. Yamaguchi bumps into him, scrambling to say, "Sorry, Tsukki," before following his line of sight.
Their captain is biting his knuckles, staring, but clearly not seeing anything beyond the window he's standing at. He's hunched forward, whole body tense. Sweat beads on his forehead. Bags underneath his eyes are pronounced even from this distance.
And he professed to being fine? "I'm fine. You go on ahead. I'll wait until the crowd thins a bit," he had said, and then he had laughed.
How long after they left did it take for him to revert to this state?
Tsukishima tsks. "He really should just stop pretending," he mutters, tone more annoyed than he intended.
"Are you worried about him, Tsukki?"
The middle blocker bristles and starts off again, freckled friend at his heels. "No," Tsukishima replies, looking straight ahead. "It's just he's not fooling anyone."
XX
The waiting room chairs are all empty except for his. There's a receptionist clicking away at her keyboard, who glances up at him occasionally. He's been trying to hold it together in front of the team. If he's their strength, then they can break down however they need to because they know that someone's there. Inside, he's kind of a mess, but as long as he can be honest when he's alone, then that's enough. He's used to pretending anyways.
Unable to sit any longer, he paces over to a window. He already decided that he's going to tell Suga's parents about there being a first time, but now that he's here his nerves are nearly unbearable. What if he just makes them feel worse? Daichi waits for who knows how long, worrying over Suga's parents' reactions and trying not to see his friend when he closes his eyes. He stares just to keep from blinking.
Coma. It doesn't seem real. It doesn't seem possible.
"Daichi," Asahi says, stepping up beside him. The captain nearly jumps, having missed the sound of his approach, so caught up in his own head. "The others are all gone. You should go in now."
"Right," he replies, nodding to himself and biting back all of his doubts.
"It's going to be fine," Asahi assures him with a small smile. "You have a ride home, right?"
Nodding again, he takes a deep breath and makes his way toward Suga's room. He hesitates before going in.
The moment he enters, he falters. Coma. It's real. It's too real. Suga, there, silent, motionless. His parents bathed in exhaustion. Suga, attempted suicide. Suga, rape. Suga, bulimia. Suga, coma. Suga, Suga, Suga, Suga, why?
Why?
Why do things have to be like this?
All of his doubts and fears come rushing back. He wants to go back. He's not ready to see Suga. He's not ready to face Suga's parents. He didn't protect Suga like he said he was going to. What if Suga really does die? It's so loud and chaotic in his head. The guilt he's been trying to push into the background since this morning—no, since yesterday's call—explodes through his body, making him feel scared and weak.
He drops to his knees and presses his forehead to the floor, something he's seen people do but never had to perform himself.
"I'm sorry!" he announces, feeling his breath bounce back at him. "This isn't the first time this has happened."
"You don't have to do this," Suga's mom says sympathetically.
"Yeah," his father agrees. "Stand up and we'll talk about whatever you want to talk about."
"No!" Daichi cries. Now that he's in this position, he'll see it through. "I have to do this. Because I knew! He told me a week ago that someone had raped him and I told him that I'd be there with him. I told him I'd protect him! And I didn't! We had a stupid fight and I wasn't there when he needed me, and I knew. I knew something could happen and I still wasn't there! I didn't get there in time! And if he's not here because of something I did or said or didn't do or didn't say, I don't know what to do. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please tell me what to do to make this up!"
The tiled floor is wet beneath his eyeline and his face is hot. I said it. He feels slightly redeemed for his earlier lie to Tsukishima and Hinata. He hopes that Asahi was right about them not hating him and that the statement doesn't just apply to their kouhai. His fingers tremble as he tries to stem the flow of water from his eyes.
"Daichi," Suga's mom says, crouching down, voice so soft and sympathetic that it brings forth more tears. "Daichi, you can blame yourself for not getting there in time. My husband can blame himself for being too insensitive. I can blame myself for falling asleep. We can blame the hospital for not checking in on him more often." She lifts his tear-stained face to look at her in the eye. "We can blame everyone and everything, but that doesn't change the fact that Koushi isn't present here with us. It doesn't help anyone, and holding onto that anger and guilt is what, I think, ended up hurting Koushi."
That sounds true. Suga wouldn't let anyone tell him it wasn't his fault. Still, it hurts so much. He wishes Suga were here. His silent tears turn into sobs that he can't control.
"You need to let it go," she says, hugging him firmly. "Instead of thinking about what you couldn't do before, focus on what you can do now."
It's so warm he doesn't want to move. If he could stay like this forever, wrapped in understanding arms, then maybe he could heal completely. Damn. If Suga had just—no, his mom said to stop obsessing over the past. Stop with the 'what ifs.' Daichi sniffles and sits back on his heels, wiping his face on his sleeve.
"Come on now, please stand up," Suga's mom says lightly, wiping at her own eyes. "If I have to see one more man drop into dogeza today, I don't know what I'll do." She elbows her husband, who looks away bashfully.
Daichi straightens, feeling so much lighter than he had upon entering the room, and makes his way to Suga's bedside. He's glad the team didn't see him like this, but it felt good to just cry and be held. Taking the setter's hand and trying not to wince at the bandages wrapping his forearms, Daichi ponders Sugawara-san's words again. Focus on what you can do now. His teammates had asked him the question, "What's going to happen now?"
What can I do?
Suga looks like he's simply sleeping. He's going to wake up. He will. And when he does, he'll need support—like I told the team—so I have to figure out the best way to do that. I don't really understand everything he went through or how to help or what to say or when it's too much… There are people that specialize in helping people through trauma, though, and I want to be able to help too.
I can learn how to help too.
"Suga," Daichi says, wrapping his other hand around the setter's. "We're all waiting here for you."
