Title: You're Not Alone
Summary: Would Zesiro really go to the Hall of Darkness alone? Roxbury needed to find him. And fast!
Pairings: Zesiro/Roxbury
Prompt: Tumblr - ameliahvale - Zesiro/Roxbury - This world needs more of these two, something fluffy with Zesiro showing weakness to Roxbury, or something like that. Maybe to add onto the whole Achyuta sickness arc.
AN: Ready to have your heart ripped out? :D Enjoy!
Roxbury couldn't help but feel a slight sense of annoyance as he took his prescribed medicine for his niggling aches and pains from his numerous injuries he had endured over the last few weeks. It wasn't the medicine that had him feeling slightly off-centre; it was the fact that he hadn't seen Zesiro all day. That was unusual as he had developed the habit of following him around just about everywhere, teasing him or pulling him into what could only be described scandalous embraces.
It just felt…odd not having Zesiro badger him like he usual did. He hoped nothing happened…
"Ah, Roxbury?" Achyuta's voice pulled Roxbury from his thoughts and he immediately turned to see Achyuta standing in the door way of his room. "Have you seen my brother?"
Roxbury couldn't help but frown slightly. "Actually, no, I haven't. Is there something wrong?"
Achyuta frowned as well, but his expression held a slight tinge of fear to it. "It's...my illness has been playing up lately and I had...made the mistake of telling my brother that Isiah could not discover the cause because he did not know what materials could be gathered from the Hall of Darkness."
Roxbury's heartrate suddenly spiked. "You don't think he would...go back to that place?" he asked, hopefully keeping the fear out of his voice.
At first, Achyuta simply looked at him before he chewed nervously on his bottom lip. "Despite outward appearances, Zesiro had always been protective of me."
"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Roxbury quickly said around the knot of fear growing in his chest and he moved to step out of the room, but not before pausing and placing a comforting hand on Achyuta's shoulder. "I'll check on the wharf just in case, though. You should stay here in case he returns while I'm gone."
Idly rubbing at his chest, Achyuta nodded his head once before he placed a polite but forced smile on his lips. "As you said, it's probably nothing to worry about."
Roxbury gave Achyuta's shoulder a slight squeeze before moving toward the stairs. As he quickly descending the steps, he resisted the urge to bolt out of the clinic to get to the wharf as quickly as possible. Surely Zesiro wasn't crazy enough to go on his own. Was he? What if…what if he was feeling desperate?
As soon as he stepped outside, the door falling shut behind him, hiding him away from the curious gazes of his guildmates, Roxbury broke out into a run. He had to get to the wharf. Zesiro had to be there. He couldn't have…he couldn't have left already. No, Nitish would have said something to Achyuta at the very least, right?
Reaching the wharf in record time, Roxbury barely slowed in his pace as he searched around the anchored airships and crates of cargo and food stock. With each place he check and no sighting of Zesiro, Roxbury's stomach churned with fear.
He was about to call Zesiro by his name when he heard the sound of a familiar voice. Two of them, actually, and one belonged to the very man he had been looking for. Immediately, he headed in the direction of the voices.
When he laid eyes on Zesiro, the other man speaking with Kalan with a crate covered with pieces of paper and documents of some kind, Roxbury found himself breathing a sigh of relief. He wasn't wearing his cumbersome red armour. That meant he wasn't heading out. Imperials would wear their armour whenever they were heading to the lands of the Cloudy Stronghold.
He wasn't leaving. Well, not yet.
Roxbury was about to approach the two, to inauspiciously ask them what they were doing when he found himself stilling. As they stood on either side of the crate, it appeared as if Zesiro and Kalan were, well, staring each other down.
"What?" Zesiro said with his usual haughty tone. "Want to tag along like an adorable little puppy?"
Kalan snorted loudly as he idly swatted as a strand of his brown hair from his face. "While I am adorable, I'm no puppy. Of course I'm going to tag along. Someone needs to stop you from lapsing into that sacrificial martyr bullshit."
"No," Zesiro said firmly and abruptly, his lips immediately creasing into a frown. "You're not coming with me. You're staying here."
Kalan reeled his head back slightly, as if surprised by the harshness of Zesiro's voice. "The shit?" he muttered before he scowled at him. "Well, what about Achyuta? What about precious Roxy? How do you think he would he react to you disappearing?"
Roxbury couldn't help but wince slightly at what Kalan was inferring. He, however, was still somewhat relieved to hear him ask Zesiro about him, reminding him that whatever he did, someone was going to know. And, well, miss him.
Zesiro immediately tensed. "Low blow, ass-wipe," he hissed, as if through clenched teeth.
"What?" Kalan snapped in response before he suddenly furrowed his brow, seemingly just realising something. "Are you going there for him, too? What are you really searching for?"
Zesiro snorted slightly as he turned his gaze back down to the mounds of paperwork scattered across the crate they were using as a table. "I have reasons for the things that I do."
Kalan pressed his lips together in frustration. "Could you at least hold off until we hear back from that pen pal of Isiah's? He is reputed to be a miracle healer or something. Let's at the very least wait until we hear what he has to say."
"There is no 'we'," Zesiro reiterated sternly. "I said you're not coming with me."
"Well, I'm sure as hell not going to keep your little jaunt a secret, now am I?" Kalan retorted as he folded his arms across his chest. "Especially since Roxy had heard everything anyway."
Roxbury found himself wincing again when Zesiro snapped his head up to look at Kalan, only for the brown-haired runemaster to arch an eyebrow at him before he tilted his head in Roxbury's direction. Roxbury felt a little bit sheepish when Zesiro abruptly turned in his direction, their gazes inexplicably locking in spite of the distance between.
"You little bitch," Zesiro snarled as he turned back toward Kalan. "Why didn't you tell me he was there?"
Kalan, however, made a dramatic gesture with his hands, as in 'why should you be mad when you're the one keeping all the secrets' kind of way. And, honestly, he was right to look and feel indignant. Even if Kalan hadn't ousted him, Roxbury was seconds away from interrupting their conversation anyway.
Instead of answering Zesiro's demand, Kalan folded his arms into the sleeves of his robes and turned in Roxbury's direction as he walked away. "I'll leave you two alone for a bit," he said as he came to a stop next to Roxbury. "Hopefully you can talk some sense into him. You might be in for the long haul, though."
"Thank you, Kalan," Roxbury said in earnest, only to receive a dismiss wave of his hand.
He waited until Kalan was out of sight before he drew in a deep breath and turned back to Zesiro, finding the other man hastily looking through the scrolls and paperwork in front of him.
"Zesiro?" Roxbury questioned as he quietly made his way over to him, stopping a few feet away from him. "Zesiro, talk to me, please."
At first Zesiro said nothing. He wouldn't even lift his head up to look at him. Roxbury was about to plead with him again, asking him to tell him what was wrong so that he could help in some way when Zesiro interrupted the silence between.
"I overheard Isiah speaking with the Count about something," he admitted tersely.
Roxbury took a moment to let those words register in his mind. "About me?"
"Yeah," Zesiro said as he continued to shift through the papers in front of him. "You've wondered too, right? About how that wound in your side isn't healing like it should."
Roxbury's hand immediately flew up to rest against his side, where Neolani had stabbed him when he was her hostage. Where he still had medical patting and bandages taped just under his ribs. Where it still ached lowly whenever he breathed a little bit too deeply. The reason for that medication he had to take three times a day.
Roxbury swallowed thickly. "Are you…looking for the knife Neolani stabbed me with?"
Zesiro nodded his head sharply. "There must be something on it."
"I…can't let you go alone."
"I have to."
"Why?" Roxbury quickly asked, unable to keep a hint of his concern and fear from his voice. "Why must you do this alone? Zesiro, talk to me, please."
Zesiro spun around suddenly to face him, a furious and frustrated look on his face. "For twelve fucking years I had to stand in the shadows and watch as my brother struggled with his illness all by himself. Watching as Logre, the only other person who actually gave a shit about Achyuta, leave in order to fulfil his duty to the emperor. Watching as he dealt with the despair of my death. Watching as he put his life on the line for his runemaster. Watching as he faced off against the Heavenbringer. Watching as he came close to death so many times and not being able to do a fucking thing about it."
His breath hitching in his throat, Roxbury could only stare wide-eyed at Zesiro, not knowing what to say or what to do.
"I am not going to do that again," Zesiro continued, his voice growing louder with each statement. "I'm not waiting in the background for someone else to do the heavy work again when they shouldn't have to. You know what? I actually give a shit about a lot of people, ok? I won't stand by and watch as they suffer. Not again."
Zesiro's expression then creased into a look that could only be described as heart-breaking. "I can't," he whispered, more to himself than to Roxbury.
Roxbury felt…breathless. He had no idea that Zesiro felt that way, and yet…it made so, so much sense. Roxbury felt tears begin to blur his vision and his hand clutched at his chest, over his heart. God, all those years, watching from afar, not being able to do anything without risking so much more. The helplessness he must have felt, the uncertainty. How…how did he manage for so long? Roxbury wouldn't have been able to stand it.
Zesiro suddenly muttered something under his breath as he aggressively spun around to his maps and other documents, shoving them hastily into a knapsack. The way he was carelessly gathering up his belongings, it was as if he…was intent on leaving right now, at this very second.
A feeling of fear that Roxbury had never felt before suddenly washed over him and he moved forward abruptly, wrapping his arms around Zesiro from behind and pressing his cheek against his back. He tightened his arms around Zesiro, folding them over his torso when the blond-haired man tensed, no doubt surprised by Roxbury's actions.
"I'm still alive, Zesiro," Roxbury whispered as he closed his eyes and pressed his cheek further against Zesiro's powerful back. "Thanks to you. But you may not be if you go to the Hall of Darkness alone. Not that you would be alone for long, I guess. If you do go, I will follow you. And nothing you can say will stop me."
Zesiro said nothing in response, just stood ridged and still. Suddenly, he sighed and Roxbury felt his shoulders slump forward in defeat. "Fuck," Zesiro muttered as he leaned heavily against the wooden crate and shook his head.
Roxbury continued to hold him, more than willing to physically keep him away from his airship, away from that dreaded place. He would…he would literally do whatever it took to keep Zesiro in Tharsis where he was safe. Where they were safe.
"Please," Roxbury whispered as he nuzzled his cheek against Zesiro's back. "Don't go. There's so much you can do here. So many ways to help others. So much more than what is found at the Hall of Darkness. Promise me. Promise me you won't go."
Zesiro remained silent and Roxbury frantically searched his mind for what he should say, falling short of begging him not to go. But then Zesiro sighed loudly again and gently touched Roxbury's arms that were tightly folded across his torso. He didn't try to pry himself loose, though, he just placed his hand atop of Roxbury's.
"Fine," Zesiro murmured.
Roxbury snapped his eyes open, somewhat surprised. But he soon sighed with relief, the tension he hadn't realising he was holding in his body abruptly fading. He couldn't ask him if he was being sincere. He had to be, right? He didn't want…to think otherwise. He couldn't.
"Thank you."
Zesiro tighten his hand around Roxbury's before tugging at his arm, as if asking him to finally release his hold on him. Though disappointed, Roxbury loosen his grip and Zesiro stepped quickly out of his arms. However, he didn't go very far. He turned around to face him, the two of them now standing chest to chest, face to face.
Looking into his eyes, Roxbury could see that something he could not quite describe. Perhaps he was overwhelmed by how much Roxbury cared for him. Or maybe he was feeling a sense of guilt, torn about allowing himself to have someone care for him, as much as he cared for them.
Slowly, Roxbury reached up with his hand and gently touched the side of Zesiro's face. Zesiro placed his hand atop of Roxbury's and leaned his cheek into his palm. Placing his other hand against Zesiro's chest, Roxbury leaned forward slowly and pressed his lips against Zesiro's in a soft, yet still intimate kiss.
As Zesiro slipped his arms around Roxbury's waist, pulling him closer and tighter against him, Roxbury slid both his arms around his neck and tilted his head ever so slightly to the side. He felt tears pool along his lashes, but he ignored them as he focused his full attention on kissing Zesiro, silently telling him that if anything were to happen to him, if he suddenly disappeared…he wouldn't have been able to stand it. Not after what they've been through, not while they were still growing closer and closer every day.
After a slow, lingering caress Zesiro pulled back away from the kiss, but kept his arms secure around Roxbury's waist, keeping him as close to him as possible. They said nothing as they just looked at each other, an apology or two in their eyes.
Slowly, a smirk formed on Zesiro's lips. "Hm, hoping to distract me?" he questioned in a light teasing tone. "How naughty, beloved leader."
Roxbury blushed darkly at what he was insinuating. That was certainly not what he had in mind. However, he felt a sense of relief upon seeing that teasing smirk of his. So instead of spluttering a retort denouncing his suggestion, he interlocked his fingers behind Zesiro's neck and pulled his head toward his.
"If that's what it takes," he murmured with his lips barely an inch away from Zesiro's.
Zesiro's response was swift and immediate; he closed the distance between them, placing his mouth atop of Roxbury's, threading his hand through his hair in order to angle his head just right for him to kiss him as deeply and as passionately as he could. All Roxbury could do, all he wanted to do really, was fall deeply into Zesiro's embrace and forget about their worries and concerns.
And, well, while he was a fortress, someone who ensured the safety of others, it was Zesiro who made him feel safe. As if no matter what they faced, how dark things might be, they'll be all right in the end.
