Thanks for all the reviews! I love them and more would be wonderful! No, this is not a time jump. Someone asked in their review, more like pleaded. I got this done sooner than I thought I would... nice job, huh? WWB is coming, it's taking a while. I'm sorry. It is NOT on hiatus, I promise!
Review please.
Don't ya love her madly
Don't ya need her badly
Don't ya love her ways
Tell me what you say
Love Her Madly, by The Doors
"That didn't come out right," Troy instantly said.
I reached for my shirt. "So you don't?" I asked as I threw the top on. I didn't wait for his response and assumed he made some type of head movement while I was putting my shirt on. "Good, because I don't think you meant to say it-"
"Gabriella, wait," Troy interrupted me. I stopped moving after I grabbed my shoes. "You didn't let me answer. I meant what I said," he stated.
I was shocked. "Are you crazy?" I demanded to know and stood quickly.
"Do I have to be crazy to be in love with you or something?" he questioned, standing too.
"Uh, let me think about that, yes," I replied as I hopped into my heels.
Troy shrugged on his t-shirt. "Then wrap me up in a straight-jacket and throw me into a room with padded walls because dammit I am in love with you," he said.
"Do you have to make jokes right now?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to flee.
Troy stepped closer to me. "Brie, this wasn't the way I wanted to tell you," he started to explain. "I don't know when I planned on telling you because I knew you would want to run and hide," he went on.
"Can we pretend this never happened?" I pleaded softly. "I mean, you didn't plan on telling me now. We can go on acting like..." I trailed off.
"Acting like what?" Troy wondered. "Like I didn't tell you I love you that you're too scared to say it back, like this doesn't completely change everything between us?" he asked.
I looked down at our feet. "I like the way things are between us now, I mean, before," I mumbled. Troy didn't respond. Maybe he didn't know what to say; maybe he knew I didn't know what to say. I don't know. "I have to go," I said before turning for the door.
"No, wait!" Troy pleaded and stuck his hands on the door so I couldn't open it. "You can't avoid me, Gabriella. I know if I let you go you won't take my calls, you'll tell one of your brothers to lie when I come over and say you're not there or you're sick, and you won't open your balcony door when I climb up the tree. You aren't avoiding this," he repeated.
"You think I'll be able to?" I asked, turning on him. "You think I'll be able to get this out of my head. You love me, okay, can I go now?" I questioned.
Troy shook his head. "No! What the hell are you so scared of? Why can't you say it back?" he demanded to know.
"Maybe I'm not in love with you yet," I shot back at him.
"I don't believe that," he replied. "I know that it's naive of me to think you're in love with me as soon as I know I'm in love with you, but I feel it. I can feel it when we kiss and when we hug and when I hold you in my arms, I can even feel it when you're laughing with me. I know you love me, I know it, just say the words," he reiterated.
I shook my head. "You don't know how I feel," I told him. "You think you do, but you don't," I said.
"Why do you say that?" he responded quickly.
I let out a breath. "Because I don't know how I feel," I answered and quickly opened the door and was gone before he could stop me.
I had to find Sharpay. Sharpay has the car, Sharpay can drive me home. I searched for more than five minutes since she wasn't answering her phone. I finally found her in the back yard, sitting on a tree swing with Zeke. They were talking and laughing and I felt bad for ruining their first date, or whatever this is.
"I need you," I broke into their conversation.
She must have seen the pleading look in my eye because she became worried in a second flat. "What's wrong, Carmen?" she asked.
"Can you please just take me home?" I questioned. "I need to go home," I stated.
"Did Troy do something?" she wondered. "He didn't drink too much and force himself onto you, did he?" she asked.
I shook my head. "No, Troy would never do that. Sharpay, don't ask any more questions, please just take me home. You can come right back, in fact, Zeke can come along," I told her.
"I think I've drank too much to drive you home right now, sweetie," Sharpay replied honestly.
I sighed, the feeling of panic and shock overwhelming me even more than before. I need to get out of here. "I can drive," Zeke spoke up. "I've barely drank anything. I'll drive if you don't mind," he said towards Sharpay.
She shook her head. "I don't mind, and maybe after we drop her off we can just drive together?" she suggested as she stood. "And talk or... whatever," she added on with a girlie smile.
Zeke smiled right back at her. "I'd like that," he agreed.
"Great, can we get a move on?" I hurried them along.
We went around the house to Sharpay's convertible only to find Troy already there. Damn him for knowing me so well! "Should I shoo him?" Sharpay asked, stopping with me a few feet before we got to him. "This escape plan has to do with him, I know it does. Tell me who I should shoo and I'll shoo," she said.
"I don't know," I whined, covering my face with my hands.
"Gabriella, can we please talk?" Troy asked, coming over to us.
Sharpay and Troy both looked to me for an answer. I can't handle this right now. "I want to go home. I don't want to talk or answer questions or pretend everything is okay. Nothing is okay and I simply want to go home, dammit!" I exploded.
"That's a no, basketball boy," Sharpay filled him in. "Come on, Gabi. Don't follow us Troy," she ordered towards my boyfriend. "Unless, you know, you find another ride home, and then you're allowed. But don't talk to her," she rambled on as we got into her car.
I felt bad for leaving Troy at the party. I felt bad for leaving him in the closet. I felt bad for not telling him I love him when he told me he loves me. The right thing to do would have been to say it back. The smart thing to do would have been to stay in the closet with too many towels and talk to him until my curfew then promise to talk more tomorrow. The bad thing to do was to leave and be mean. I choose the bad thing and did nothing right or smart. I just couldn't tell him I love him when I'm not sure how I feel. I couldn't stay and talk until I think about everything.
So, I went home. I put on comfy sweat pant booty shorts and a tank top. I took off my make up and combed out the hairspray in my hair. After, I crawled into bed and put Lifetime on the TV. I wasn't going to get any sleep that night that I knew. I would spend the whole night thinking of Troy and love and how I feel about him. In other words, I would be analyzing everything.
-xoxo-
I woke up when it was almost noon. I was grateful for waking up so late; I only went to bed around four. Like I knew I would, I spent the night thinking about Troy and our relationship. I still have no idea what the hell is going on inside me. I don't think I ever do when something unexpected like this happens. I didn't know if I liked Troy, I didn't know if he liked me, and I didn't know if I even wanted to be with him when he moved here. Right when I am extremely happy and comfortable with my surroundings, he messes it all up again. What does this boy do to my life?
I instantly took a shower and ate breakfast. No one was really around, Marc and Luke were asleep on the couches, and I assumed Alex and Vince were out with friends, my mother had to go into work this morning, and my dad always works Saturdays. I was thankful for the quiet, believe me. If they were all around they would be drilling me with questions, ones I either don't have an answer to or don't want to answer.
When I was done, I saw the time; it was almost one. I knew what Troy and I had planned for today and I wondered if he was going to follow through with it. I wondered if I was going to follow through with it. I sighed to myself as I went up the steps. I've hurt Troy enough; I wasn't going to take the chance of him showing up and hurting him because I don't. Besides, I have some questions to ask myself.
I dressed in a pair of comfy light blue jeans and a white t-shirt. I threw on a long peach-tan colored cardigan and a pair of light brown knee-high boots. I also threw my hair up in a clip and decided to not wear make up. I'm only going to see Troy, then go home. I stole Felix's car keys and went on my way. Felix was asleep in his own room. We're not morning people, and because of that, my mom never wakes us up before ten, and when she's not him she'll let us sleep until the late afternoon.
Troy and I planned to go to the park today. We figured if we lost it would be a good place to talk, and if we won it would be a good place to hang out and/or make out. To my surprise, Troy was there. He was sitting up against a tree, looking bored and sad. We had found a clearing in the woods when we went walking once about a week ago. We thought it would be a nice place to be by ourselves, but hadn't had the chance to put it to the test. Well, I guess the test takes place now.
As I strode up, Troy saw me. He stood and met me less than halfway. "I didn't think you would come," he said while stuffing his hands into his pockets.
"I didn't want to let you down anymore that I already have," I told him honestly. "I'm sorry for freaking out last night, Troy," I apologized before he could say anything.
"It's understandable," he replied. "I didn't expect you to take it well, but I didn't think you wouldn't be able to be around me," he explained. "I don't want you to feel bad for leaving me last night, you-"
"Troy," I stopped him. "We both know I shouldn't have left you last night," I corrected him. "I should have stayed and talked to you, that is why I am here now," I said.
Troy grabbed my hand and led me back to the tree he was at before. He sat down and pulled me with him. "Are you ready to say it?" he questioned.
I shook my head. "No," I answered verbally.
"Why is it so hard for you? I told you, I know you do, I can feel it," he insisted.
"How come you know how I feel when I don't know how I feel?" I asked. "Troy, we've only been dating for a little over a month and we're only seventeen and we're in high school. The fact that you could fall in love with me right now in our lives and in that amount of time-"
"Stop analyzing it," Troy interrupted me. "You're one of the smartest people I know, Brie, but this isn't something you can solve, this isn't an equation," he stated. "We're talking about love here, you either feel it or you don't," he insisted. "So, stop thinking about anything besides me and tell me how you feel."
I tried to do as he said. I tried to stop and only think of him. I thought of Troy and his perfect smile and face and hair and body. I thought of when he holds me, making me feel safer than ever before. I thought of how much I love being with him. I thought of how he kisses me. I thought of how careful he is with me. I thought of how thoughtful he is, especially when it comes to me. I thought of how much I care for him. I thought of how comfortable he makes me feel. I thought of how understanding he is. In the end, the feeling I had inside me, I didn't know if it was love or an immense like.
My eyes met his. "I don't know what it is," I whispered. I saw the sadness in his eyes. I don't want him to be wrong; I don't want to break his heart or anything. I just don't know what I am feeling. "How do you know you love me? How do you know that it is love?" I wondered.
"How do I know I love you?" Troy repeated before expelling a long breath. "Because, even thinking about you will bring a smile to my face, no matter what is going on between us. Because, when I see you, I still get butterflies in my stomach. Because, most of what I want to do from day to day has to do with you. Because, no one else can make me feel as happy and content and relaxed as you. But, at the same time, I've never been more turned on or pissed off because of you. Because, I can feel when you walk into a room. Because, when your eyes meet mine, nothing else matters. Because, I can be in the shittiest mood, but when I see you, I feel okay. Like, when my dad called when we had our first fight, remember?" he asked and I nodded. "I was doing crunches in my room and if it was Chad that had come in, I would have told him to fuck off. It wasn't Chad though, it was you. It was you and when I saw it was you I forgot about my dad and remembered our fight and how bad I felt about the whole situation. I know I love you because I put you above all others, even myself. I'm already completely whipped by you, Brie," he went on.
As he said this I realized I felt the same things, but didn't stop him.
"I love you because you are so smart. I love that about you. I love you because you're unlike any girl I've ever met or dated. I love you because you changed me. When I moved here, I was in the midst of my parents getting a divorce and coming to a whole new town and the only person I knew was Chad. Then, I saw you and got to know you and just thought 'damn, I hope I'm a good enough guy to deserve her.'" Troy stopped and looked at me. I didn't say anything. "I love you because you helped me become the guy I wanted to be. I know what I feel for you is love. It's just this feeling, this amazing feeling I have inside me. I feel it with every breath. When I'm not with you, it gnaws at my insides and when I'm with you, it only grows," he said. "And, this feeling, it's the best thing in the world. It's nothing I've ever felt before. It's just," he stopped, trying to find the worlds. Instead of saying anything he just smiled his amazing smile and shook his head. "It's so hard to explain, Brie, but it feels so good and it's all because of you. I know you feel the same," he finished.
I was quiet for a moment. What he said, it really got to me. It was touching and made me like him even more. Like or love? I don't even know anymore. "Troy, we've only seventeen-" I tried.
"Stop trying to put logic behind it!" Troy exclaimed. "There is no logic, there is nothing to solve or fix, and this is love we're talking about. If it made sense everyone wouldn't want it as much," he informed me. "It just is," he stated. "Now, you either love me or you don't," he said. "Take your pick."
I felt tears well up in my eyes. "It's not an either or, is it?" I asked. I don't want it to come down to this. That isn't fair to me or him.
"Yeah, it is," he answered in a grave tone.
I wiped away a tear that fell. "Then, no, I don't love you yet," I squeaked out. What else could I do? I wasn't going to lie to him and say I love him when I don't know.
Troy took in a breath and looked away from me. I felt horrible. More tears escaped my eyes, but he said nothing, he didn't even move. "I have to go home," he finally said after the longest pause.
Was this the end of us? It could be and not knowing was slowly killing me. "Troy, I," I stopped. I sniffled and wiped my face. "I'm sorry," I apologized.
"Yeah, I know," he replied before getting up and walking away. That's it?
Once he was gone, I let a few sobs escape me. I eventually stood so I could go home. I didn't want to be here anymore. I ran into my house, tears still falling continually from my eyes and jogged through the foyer to the steps.
"Lala?" Vince questioned as I ran by. Thankfully, my older brothers weren't around.
I didn't answer him and went straight to my room. I slammed the door shut, but didn't care as I threw myself onto my bed. I had never felt worse. It felt like Troy and I weren't together anymore. It was like there was this big hole in my chest because of him. Because of what he made me do. Why did it have to be either or? Couldn't we have just stayed together with him in love with me and me still falling? Were we even apart? Why the fuck does this hurt so much?
"Lala?" Vince repeated, coming into my room. He closed the door behind him before walking over to me. "Are you okay?" he wondered.
I shook my head. "No, Vin, I'm not," I blubbered, taking off my cardigan.
He patted my knee. "Is there anything I can do? What happened?" he asked.
"There's nothing you can do, Vinny," I muttered as I wiped my face. I opened my arms up for a hug and he quickly hugged me. Smart boy. "Have you and Roxy said I love you yet?" I questioned. Oh, yeah, he has a girlfriend. It's that girl, Roxy, who he has liked a while.
"No, we're only fifteen," he reminded me. "I don't think I'm ready for that," he said. Him saying that only made me cry harder again. How come be can't be ready and I have to be? It's only two years, man. "Oh, Lala, I'm sorry, what did I say?" he asked, worried. Vince is a cross between a mom and a brother. He acts like both sometimes. Then again, with him and Alex I am a cross between a sister and another mother too.
I pulled away. "Can you call Taylor and Sharpay, Vin? Can you tell them to come over and I need them and promise not to tell anyone else I am crying?" I questioned him. "Please," I pleaded.
He nodded. "Sure, but do you mind telling me why you're crying?" he responded.
"Not yet, Vinny," I answered. "Please, just call them and tell them I need them," I said.
Like a good little brother, Vince called my best friends. They showed up in less than fifteen minutes. They came baring gifts of fattening foods and DVD rentals. They work fast. They knew it had to do with Troy, they just didn't know what was wrong. They put The Notebook on while we ate and I explained what was going on. It took nearly an hour because I kept crying. I hate crying, I despise it. Crying is needed sometimes, but it always makes me feel so shitty. My face gets red and puffy and I get a headache.
"Are Troy and I still together?" I finally finished. My best friends exchanged a look, one I didn't like seeing. "Please don't make me cry again," I pleaded.
"It's hard to tell," Sharpay answered honestly.
Taylor glared at her. "I say they are," she insisted. I felt a fraction of relief. "He was just upset and angry before. Give him some time, Gabi," she told me.
"You have to give it to her straight, Tay. He said I love you and she didn't say it back. How the hell would you have felt if when you and Chad said it you didn't say it back?" Sharpay questioned. "Would the hurt be enough to separate you two?" she wondered. Would it?
"No," Taylor denied it. "If I seriously loved him, which I do, I would stay with him because I need him. I don't believe Troy would break up with Gabi just because she wasn't ready to say it back yet. That would be completely unfair and if he really loves her he wouldn't be able to do it," she went on. "I shouldn't have drunk that whole SoBe, I need to pee," she added before hopping off my bed.
When she was gone, Sharpay gave me a small smile. "Why do you think you don't love him?" she wondered.
"It's not that I don't love him, I do. I do love him, I just don't know if I am in love with him or not," I told her. "How do you know? How do you know when you're in love? Is there some fucking bell than goes off that I missed? How am I supposed to know what I feel for him is love?" I asked.
For a moment, I thought of my father. I'm not sure why, but I did. My dad would say I wasn't in love with him; I'm only infatuated with him. He would say I am infatuated with him and teenagers like us aren't capable of love these days. He'd say things were different when he and my mom fell in love and they were special. Sure, parts of that may be true, but is all of it? Are teenagers these days really not capable of real and true love because of technology and what not? Are teenagers only capable of infatuation?
I don't think so. I see my friends, Chad and Taylor, and I know what they have is real, Cory and Topanga style. On the other hand, my mom would say I'm not in love with him; I just want to have sex with him. That isn't true either; sure, eventually I will want to have sex with him. Hell, at times I want to have sex with him now, but I don't have to say I love you to him to get it. I know that and I know that I wouldn't say I love you to him just to have sex with him. Not only is that not moral or correct, I wouldn't be able to do it. Am I so scared and unsure of love and what I feel for Troy because of these things I have picked up from my parents?
I don't know, I don't know anything.
"How do you know it's not?" Sharpay countered, breaking me from my thoughts. Good point. "I've known you for a long time, G, so I would like to think I know you. Hell, I know I know you," she insisted. "I think you do love him, but I think you don't want to," she informed me. I don't?
I rolled my eyes. "Why would I not want to love him? I want to be with him. I don't like hurting him," I assured her.
"Gabriella, you grew up with two over-dramatic sisters. When they got a boyfriend they immediately thought they were in love and when they broke up they acted like the world was going to end. You can only watch that so many times before you're scared out of your mind to fall in love," she explained. "I've told you before, you're emotionally retarded, sweetie," she reminded me. It my parents and my sister's fault I am 'emotionally retarded'? We really should stop using retarded that way, it's not nice.
Taylor came back into the room. "Shar, your purse is buzzing," she said while plopping onto my bed. Sharpay got up to go get her phone.
"Am I really emotionally retarded?" I asked, sniffling as I did.
My friends nodded. "Yes," they both answered.
"Do we have to call it retarded, that's just mean," I mumbled. "Handi-Capped? No, I'm not literally Handi-Capped. Uh, stupid?" I rambled. "Oh, what is the point of this boy shit?" I asked rhetorically as I fell back on the bed. "I haven't cried over a boy since Jack Dawson died in Titanic," I reminisced.
My friends positioned themselves next to me. "Leo was sexy back in his day," Sharpay agreed in a sigh.
"He hasn't aged too well, though," Taylor commented.
"Everyone is afraid to fall in love, Gabi, not only you," Sharpay told me. "I thought I was in love once, and maybe I was, I think I was. If I wasn't in love it wouldn't have hurt so much when Will dumped me. Still, if I could go back and change it, I wouldn't. If I didn't know what it was like to be hurt so badly and how much of a dick Will is, I wouldn't appreciate Zeke like I am. If I wasn't treated so badly, I wouldn't know what it's like to be treated so well by Zeke. He is my boyfriend now, by the way," she mentioned.
I smiled. "I'm happy for you, Shar," I whispered.
"Being vulnerable isn't easy, Gabi," Taylor carried on. "We know that, but you have to be. If you aren't vulnerable, if you don't put yourself out there, what's the point? I'm with Shar in this, I think you love him. These feelings you have for him, is it so great and so big it's all you think about?" she questioned. "Is it like..." she trailed off.
"Like an animal gnawing at your insides when he's not around?" I used Troy's explanation. "And so great you can't explain it?"
Taylor nodded. "Yeah," she said. "When you're not fighting, it's like you're floating on clouds. When you are fighting, he's all you think about and all you want to do is make everything right again. He's the one who makes you happier than ever before but he can make you feel like complete shit like you do now. He can get you so pissed off you want to kill someone, but make it up by just smiling at you," she rambled on.
I took in what she said for a moment. "Troy said I kept trying to put logic behind love," I commented.
"Well, you can't. It's love," Sharpay insisted.
I took in a deep breath. "You can't solve it or figure it out," I said.
"Let's get you out of the house," Sharpay suggested as she sat up.
"Shar, I'm in Star Wars pajama pants and a white t-shirt with my hair in a sloppy bun and a puffy, red face," I listed off. "I don't want to leave," I stated.
Taylor sat up too. "Come on, we'll go get a DQ blizzard or something. We'll drive-thru it, you won't have to get out of the car," she assured me. "We aren't taking no for answer. Up, up, let's go," she said as they pulled me out of bed.
My friends let me wash my face and change back into a pair of jeans before kidnapping me. Vince was still home, only now he was playing Xbox with Alex. I told him I was going out. He looked worried, but trusted I was in good hands. He said he would tell Mami when she got home where I was.
We rode around town in Sharpay's SUV, it's Ryan's too, and they share it. We got milkshakes at Wendy's, and then went to McDonalds for fries to dip into them. Yes, we're odd, but it is really very good. I was laying down in the backseat due to a brain freeze when Sharpay pulled into my driveway. Well, what I thought was my driveway. In an instant, the backdoor was thrown open and I was being carried out. I freaked out, but not completely seeing as the guys caring me where Chad and Ryan.
"What the hell is going on?" I questioned, fighting my two male friends. I realized they were carrying me into Chad's house. What the hell are they doing?
"Stop wiggling, do you want to fall and break a bone?" Chad asked, holding me tighter.
I continued to wiggle. That's me, I'm a rebel. "What is going on? Where the fuck are you taking me?" I demanded to know.
"No need to swear," Ryan insisted as we reached the top of the steps. Oh, so we don't hang out with Ryan for months because he is busy with Kelsi composing the 'winter musicale' as Darbus says, and he shows up to kidnap me? Unfair and not very friend-like.
A few moments later a door was opened and I was tossed into conveniently placed pillows and blankets. I knew the room all too well; Troy's room. "No!" I exclaimed as I pounded on the door. "Don't leave me in here!" I pleaded.
"You two need to sort your shit out. I do not need mopey best friends. I like you better when you make me want to throw up because you're kissin' too much," Chad stated.
"I wouldn't waste my time by yelling for help, no one is home. Chad's parents are off visiting his uncle and we're going to Sharpay's," Taylor informed us.
"Yep, and don't yell out the window either, you'll just look stupid and besides, the house behind here is vacant," Sharpay added on. "Zeke made snacks and stuff for you guys, so you won't starve and you have an adjoining bathroom," she reminded us.
I fell back onto my butt. "Why can't you just let us solve our own problems?" I wondered in a sad voice.
"Because we don't trust you guys to do it," Chad said. "Now, you two should kiss and make up."
"Oh, and we'll text your mom from your phone and tell her you're sleeping at my house, Gabi," Sharpay informed me. Oh, thanks so much.
They said there goodbyes and went on their way. I turned around to look at Troy. He looked unperturbed as he threw his plush basketball up and down above his face. I wished he would drop it just so I could laugh. "Do you not care about this?" I asked, angry.
"It's one day, Gabriella, they'll let us out tomorrow afternoon," he replied without changing his actions.
Well, I don't want to be with you. I didn't have the heart to say it. I laid down on the blankets and pillows before me. I was tired from crying all day, but I wasn't about to ask him to sleep on the bed. Is the fact that Troy's acting so cold to me mean we are indeed breaking up? Tears welled in my eyes but I forced them down. I'd already cried in front of him once today, I was not going to do it again. I wasn't sure when, I don't remember much, but I fell asleep. I fell asleep on Troy's floor? I am so weird. First I fall asleep in my closet, now the floor?
I thought of this as I slowly woke from my slumber. Only now I was on something softer. I opened my eyes. I was on Troy's bed, on the bottom of the bed to be exact. He gave me a pillow and laid a blanket over me. Troy was still on the bed as well, he was leaning against the headboard with his iPod earbuds in his ears and his eyes closed. I just looked at him for a few moments. If he was seriously angry at me, if we really were over, would have put me on his bed?
He opened his eyes while I was staring. It scared me, so I just closed my eyes. That was such a bad move. "I know you were looking at me, Gabriella, we're not in the third grade," he spoke up.
To try and prevent myself from being more embarrassed, I rolled over. I couldn't see him now, but I could feel his eyes burning a whole in my back. Gosh, why the hell did our friends do this? Don't they know how much it hurts to be with him? I don't know where we stand, I don't know anything. Before I knew it, I felt tears in my eyes again and I sniffled. Dammit! I hate crying!
"Brie?" Troy asked, obviously having heard me. I ignored him. He pulled on my arm, tugging until I rolled onto my back again.
I sat up while moving away from him. "I'm sorry," I squeaked as I rubbed my eyes. "I'll go back on the floor now," I muttered.
Troy grabbed onto me. "Brie, why are you being like this?" he wondered. "You can stay on the bed, its fine," he assured me.
"B-but, I hurt you and we're broken up and-"
"Who said we broke up?" he cut me off.
I sat up straighter. "We're still together?" I questioned.
"Of course we are, Brie," he stated.
"But, I hurt you and didn't say I love you back," I reminded him awkwardly. "Then, you left the park angry. You were also angry when I got here," I added.
Troy shook his head. "You did hurt me, I was angry, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you," he told me. "I love you, Gabriella, I'm not going to break up with you because you're scared and confused," he assured me. "I never want to be without you. I was just upset about the whole thing. I'm sorry for giving you the wrong impression. Is that why you were crying? You thought we were over?"
I nodded. "I've been crying all day," I admitted.
"Oh, baby, come here," he insisted, holding his arms open for me.
I moved into his lap and wrapped my arms around him. It felt so good to be held by him. He rearranged me so my legs were around him. The position allowed me to burrow into his chest. He also moved back so he was leaning against the headboard. "Troy," I started a minute later. 'Hm?' was his answer before he kissed my head. "I think I love you," I whispered into his shoulder.
"Brie, you don't have to say it just because of everything that happened," Troy told me.
I pulled away. "No, Troy, I'm pretty sure I am in love with you," I stated. "I've been talking with Sharpay and Taylor all day and thinking about you and us. The feeling I have for you, it has to be love. It's too big to be like, it hurts too much when we're apart, and it's too wonderful when we're together like this. I was just scared and confused before, like you said," I explained.
"Why are you scared, Brie?" he questioned.
I bit my lip. "I-I've never done this before, Troy, you know that," I started. "I'm new to everything we do, especially this. I was too scared to get involved with you; did you seriously think I would jump right on the love train? We barely know what love is at our age and I was unsure about everything," I asked. "You have the power to destroy me now, Troy," I stated. "I gave you my heart, you have the power to break it so easily," I muttered.
"Do you think I really would?" Troy responded. "Do you think I would ever hurt you? I love you too, Brie, that means I would never want to hurt you. I'd protect you with my life, I'd protect your heart with my life," he went on. "You mean everything, Gabriella, don't you see that?"
I ran my fingers down his cheek. "Now I do," I answered.
"When we first got together, I called my mom. I told her how much I liked you, how beautiful you are, what a deep connection we have, how much I enjoy being with you. I told her how you're so different from any girl I've ever known or dated. I told her how happy I am when we're together. I told her everything except how physical we get," he said. "Do you know what she told me?" he asked.
"Is this the secret between you and your mother than is slowly killing me on the inside?" I wondered. I'm nosey, and he knows it.
He nodded with a chuckle. "Yep. She told me that I was falling in love with you. She told me that it was happening quickly and that I should enjoy the ride because there was nothing I could do to stop it," he informed me. Really? "Then, she cried, I think," he finished.
"She cried? Why?" I wanted to know. That seems odd.
"My mom knows me; she knows how serious I am about my relationships. She knows I thought I was in love with Brittany, but she knew I really wasn't. What I had with her was puppy high school 'I love you' 'I love you too,'" he began to explain. "She told me while I was with Brittany that she didn't think I was in love with her that is how open I am with my mom. But, with you, from me merely talking about you, she told me I was seriously falling in love with you. This isn't just a high school thing with me," he went on. "She cried because she is no longer the woman that is the center of my universe, you are," he confessed. "She's more like the closest planet to the sun with you the sun," he said.
I was shocked. "This is really serious, huh?" I asked stupidly.
"On my end, definitely," Troy stated.
I nodded. "On my end too," I told him. "I don't care that we're only seventeen. I love you, Troy, and I know it's real. I'm serious about this too," I stated.
Troy smiled. "That's the first time you actually said the words to me," he cooed like a girl.
I wound my arms around his neck. "That feeling you were describing before, I feel it too. I've felt it for a long time, and you're right, it is amazing. And, I know you're the only one who could make me feel it. I don't know how I know, it's just something I know. I love you Troy Alexander Bolton," I announced.
"Mm, I love you too Gabriella Carmen Montez," he replied while wrapping his arms around my waist. "I guess our friends had the right idea with this, huh?" he questioned.
I giggled a bit. "I guess," I agreed. "We shouldn't tell my family we're in love just yet," I said. "I know I love you and you know I love you, but my parents and brother's won't see it that way. They'll say it's just an excuse to have sex and canoodle," I explained. "We can tell our friends, but that's it, okay?" I suggested.
"I think if we told your brother's we said I love you, they'd think I was playing you to get into your pants and kill me. So, yeah, I'm okay with it," he responded. Troy kissed me softly. "So, we're okay? You're not scared or worried or anything?" he wondered.
"Oh, I'm still scared and worried," I assured him. "But, isn't that part of it? If it was easy not as many people would want to be in love as much," I repeated to him what he said before. "Right?"
He nodded. "Uh-huh," he assured me.
"So," I began right away. "I think we should pick back up right where we left off," I suggested.
He raised an eyebrow. "You mean..." he trailed off.
"Uh-huh," I told him. "Only now, we'll go farther," I said with a kiss.
He kissed me back for a moment. "What exactly do you want me to do?" he questioned me, putting his forehead on mine.
"Take my underwear off," I answered quietly.
He nodded. "And do what?" he asked with a grin. He's just trying to make me blush, but for once, it's not gonna happen. For the first time in a long time, I know where I want to go physically with us. I know what I want and I'm gonna get it. It's the perfect time.
I pouted. "Are you going to make me say it?" I whined, going along with him. I know what I am about to say is going to surprise him.
"Yes," he stated, expecting me to say third base, only not in those words.
I moved so I was actually straddling him. I leaned in close until my lips brushed up against his. "I want you to take my underwear off and make love to me," I told him.
His eyes widened like I knew they would. "What?"
It's shorter than I would have liked, but I like the chapter overall. If anyone has any suggestions they want clarified in the next chap, feel free to review it.
Review what you think, with critiques too, if you can find something ;)
REVIEW PLEASE
- Kayleigh
