Chapter 12
Faint Light
I knocked three times, "Hey Professor, it's Mae."
After a couple of minutes of excruciating silence a muffled voice sounded, "Of course! Come in!" I swallowed the protrusion in my gullet and turned the knob. I opened the door to a man sitting at his desk, idly typing away on his laptop. A faint spell of disappointment rode through me. Confused at this, I shook my head trying to recollect my thoughts. I cheerfully smiled at him, sparkling with glee. I grazed the back of the chair in front of his desk, pivoting myself to plop down into it. "You're early." He peered up from his laptop lazily, completely devoid of emotion. A tether curled up inside my stomach, a swift nausea spread throughout me. He's not happy to see me?
Straining the smile I chuckled, "I like to be early."
He, enthralled by his computer, slowly nodded in recognition of sound coming from my direction. I placed my bag on the ground and played with my skirt awkwardly as he was ticking away, completely consumed. I felt so stupid, the remnants of my daydream lingering around my mind. Time marched so slowly, minutes seemed like hours without conversation, just the intermittent clicking of fingers to keys. At 5:14 he closed his laptop and positioned it aside. I looked up at him, my smile faded to a sad smirk.
He laced his fingers, "Sorry about that…I had some ideas so I had to get them down right away! You know how that is." He smiled cordially and stood up, arms wide, "I am so happy to see you. C'mere!"
My face lit up like the night sky and I popped out of my chair, slinking over to him. I entered his arms and they wrapped around me like a cozy blanket. Still feeling foolish, I recalled my fantasy, making my knees quiver. My legs trembled weakly, causing curiosity to overwhelm my Professor. I felt his arms loosen and mine followed suit. I took a step backward and looked up at his face, which was concerned, "Are you okay, Mae?"
I waved my hands in front of me, "Yeah! Why?" I looked straight at my hands in front of my face; they were shaking without my conscious help. I curled my fingers quickly and shoved my hands to my sides, crossing my arms. A strained odd laugh choked in the back of my throat. My teeth chattered lightly in my mouth, mind spinning; dizziness erupted out of me and I grabbed my forehead.
Standing a foot in front of me, my Professor extended his arm to my shoulder, "Mae! Are you alright?" His voice was so distant, muffled, like he was speaking through thick cloth. The whole room was upside down and then faded to black.
Mae missed much of her schooling due to her illness. Her mother was always at her side, trying her best to teach her the material after she got home from work. Mae was always close and grateful for this.
The presence underneath me alluded to the fact I was reclining against something; something soft, something comfortable. Weakness crippled my motion. How…where...? With all my strength my eyes crept open; a bright white light singeing the nerves in my corneas. What the fuck? Did I die? I shut my eyes quickly and grabbed at the object below me, a bunch of cloth wadded up in my fist. I examined the cloth in my hand, it was warm and soft. My fingers traced it upwards to the edge. I ran my hand down the side of the cloth, which had a border like a platform. I kept moving my hand until it bumped into something solid, something warm. I just noticed the faint pressure and heat on my left thigh upon discovering this new mass. A blanket? I followed the warm fabric over my leg and to its end which folded backward towards my feet. I placed my interested hand on my thigh and felt pieces of something soft; bringing it between my fingertips I rubbed the tiny bristles.
I attempted to open my eyes again, slower and with more caution. The light wasn't as intense, and I focused my sight on my surroundings. Above me was the light, attached to a pose able lamp arm. Next to me was a white curtain with green flower details spotted throughout. I looked down and saw the sterile cover on top of the bed I was apparently lying on. The nurse's office. I spent some time here between classes whenever I feel weak, and Mrs. Donberg takes my temperature among other things.
I brought my attention to the mass on my bed, curled in a shrunken ball, my Professor laid at my bedside. His jacket was half off, hair all ruffled. He must have called the nurse over to help. How did he get here though? The curtain shifted and Mrs. Donberg's cheerful face greeted me with a smile. Puzzled I nodded towards the napping man on my bed next to me.
She sighed and whispered, "He must be exhausted. The way he came runnin' in like that, you in his arms, huffin' and puffin'. He thought you had a heart attack or something." Her last word trailed off, staring at his serene composure. She chuckled, "Told him that you were alright, but he wouldn't have it. He wouldn't leave you for nothing." She nodded at the nightstand by the bed, a package of poptarts and a bottle of water waited to be consumed. She smiled, "He got that for you when I told him what was wrong with you. He said something about how his older sister had a similar condition, left the room, and came back with those."
Oh my god. I'm such a burden! I feel like shit. I shook my head at him, and laughed lowly, tears welling up in my eyes; this man, this kind and gentle person. Mrs. Donberg shrugged at the crumpled up man, carelessly dozing away. She looked at me, "What have you eaten today, Mae?"
I looked toward the floor, "I don't think I have eaten yet today." She crossed her arms and the pile of a man stirred slightly.
He opened his eyes, which were facing my direction. He smiled in relief, "There you are."
I smiled goofily, "Here I am."
Mrs. Donberg asserting attention sighed loudly, "Mae, you are going to put yourself in a coma if you don't eat. Did you know that Luke? She hasn't eaten at all today!"
He sluggishly sat up, rubbing his eyes, "No?" he looked at me, "You haven't?" I shrugged, still frail. He leaned over to open the water bottle, twisted the cap, and handed it to me. He shook it unsympathetically in front of me. I shyly took it and he grabbed the poptarts, opened them, and handed them to me. In one hand there was a poptart, the other the bottle of water. He stared at me, severely, waiting for me to eat. I took a bite of the pastry and a mouthful of water. Mrs. Donberg shook her head laughing to herself and walked out of the room. I continued to eat the poptarts, my Professor's face never letting up. I finished them off and drank half of the bottle of water.
Feeling refreshed I smiled gently at him, blushing slightly, "Thank you Professor. I really don't know how to thank you."
He sighed calmly, "I am just happy you are alright. You scared me so much. I thought I was…" He lost composure for a minute, his words fumbled apart.
Sat up straight and shook my head, "This happens to be more than you think. I really am careless!" I laughed pleasantly and his cold listless eyes sparked brightly again.
He took away my trash to throw it out and sat back down on his chair at my bedside. "Why did you carry me?"
Caught off guard by this question he uttered some indistinguishable noises and finally projected, "There wasn't any other way to get you here, so it made sense."
The distance between the building where his office was and the administration building where we are now is a good 15 minutes by foot. Imagine running all that way? With someone weighing you down? "You ran though."
He nodded, "I was…I didn't…" He closed his eyes, head bent to the ground, and smiled dimly. I furrowed my brow, and searched the room feverously. He tilted his head, "What are you looking for? You're stuff is in the main room."
I sighed, "Don't do that to me! You never separate a woman from her bag!"
He giggled, "Why did you want it?"
"My phone. Can't keep it in my pockets if I have…"
Just then I looked down at my skirt that was laughing at me. He picked me up and carried me while I was wearing a skirt? Oh man, he probably saw my panties for all I know! He walked out of the room suddenly, my face creeping hotter in temperature. He came back with my bag in hand, held it to me; I took it and searched it for my phone. The time: 7:01, messages missed: 4, missed calls: 1. My mother called me probably to ask me when I needed to be picked up. My car was in the shop again. Jeeze she is in her bath already, I have to call a cab or something. I sent her a quick message not to be worried, that I found a way home. I don't want her to have to be concerned when this big loon is already worried enough.
"You're so silly, you know that?"
He looked oddly at me, "What do you mean, Mae?"
I placed my phone on the table, "I didn't ask you to get my bag, carry me to the nurse, give me extra help, or worry about me." I closed my eyes with a mild chuckle, "I mean, how can you be so…" His eyes brimming with wonderment, almost to the brink of tears, a soft peachy hue popping onto his face, he leaned toward me, arm out stretched, brushing the side of my cheek carefully, his fingertips gliding smoothly against my sensitive skin, catching most of my chestnut hair between his long nimble fingers, he scoops the follicles placing them behind my ear, traces the side of my jaw, straight down to the tip of my chin, keeping some strands entwined around his digits.
His motions spoke to me, more clearly than anything he could ever verbalize: "I think you know why."
