Because of the quarter nearly ending, I wanted (needed, but wanted made me sound like a better student) to go back to school, even though I didn't have classes. I had a goodnight's rest last night, so when I saw happy Chloe and Rachel again in the morning, I was confused. Not that I questioned it, I didn't.
We ended up wearing a black and red flannel, which I took a picture of, and drove off to my school. Maybe they were happy because Chloe didn't have work. Maybe they did something last night. Whatever it was, they were happy again.
"Hey Max Payne, I'm going to cut my hair again tonight, you want yours?"
"Why not, I grew attached to it." I smiled. I must say and quote them, it gave me confidence.
"I'm telling you, you're on your way to tats and piercings."
"Catch me on a good day and I just might." Maybe not the piercings, though.
Throughout the drive, I decided to take pictures of Chloe and Rachel from my seat when they were rocking out or just doing things like holding hands. It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone or something. They're so… happy. They acknowledged the sound of my camera going off with saying "what the hell" but went back to what they were doing.
We stopped a few blocks away into an available parking spot. At the school, Kate was sitting on the curb, distracted, and drawing something in her book. I had no expected to see her outside, but I was happy to see her nonetheless.
"Should I honk?" Chloe had her hand ready on the horn.
"Chloe," Rachel smacked her in the arm, "Don't be an ass."
I got out of the car and skulked my way over to her through the bike lane. I leaned over to see what she was drawing, but my shadow scared her and quickly held the book to her chest.
"Oh, Max, it's you." She sighed in relief but kept the book to her chest. She looked a lot happier than yesterday. Right when I was going to say something, Chloe honked her horn. I twisted around and saw that the window was rolled down. She was in the street and causing build-up behind her.
"Text me later!" Chloe yelled. She and Rachel were waving their hands goodbye as she drove off. I huffed out my nose and shook my head. They're like embarrassing moms.
I sat next to Kate, a few inches away, "Are you drawing the buildings?" I wouldn't have been so brave to sit on it, but I convinced myself that we were safe. I took my bag off and placed it behind me.
"Yes," she kept it against her chest, "I always draw them." She answered very quickly and I found it weird she was secretive about it.
"So, you have class today?" Kate slammed her book shut and rested it on her lap. It scared me and I saw in her eyes she blinked at the sound. I didn't see a hint of the page. Oh, nosy Max, when will you ever stop trying to look through people's things?
"No, I just want extra credit." I admitted right away. "I mean, shit, I'm lagging behind."
"Watch your mouth, Max."
"What?"
"Don't say swear words."
I felt my mouth twitch and I held in my laugh. Kate hit me on the arm and I wanted to burst out even more at the mad face she was making. Keep it together, Max! She does look cute when she's mad.
"Max, I'm serious!" Kate whined.
"S-sorry," I said through a snort, waving my hands at her to stop hitting me, "It's not funny! It's not!"
I took deep breaths in and out, but I still wanted to cry out.
"Do you just stay under the shade before class?" I sighed and cleared my throat. Our school building was casting a shadow over us from the sun and it was cooling, because we were both wearing long-sleeved shirts.
"Yeah, when I'm not seeing you in the library, I stay out. Plus, I'm tired of whispering in there."
I pulled my knees to my chest, "I was okay with it, but this is better."
Kate was smiling wide; it was almost like she was glowing. It was contagious and I smiled back, "Do you have class today?"
"Yeah, in the evening, but I like fresh air too. Was the other girl your roommate? With Rachel?"
"Chloe? Yep, partner in time from high school. It's been kind of rough since they've been fighting."
"Oh? About what?"
"Just, you know, couple stuff." At least make it believable…
She blinked at me, as if processing and letting the sentence go through her mind. She smiled again, shrugging her shoulders, "Must be tough being a third wheel."
"… Sometimes." What did that mean? Why did she look at me for so long? Not saying anything?
I continued, "What about you? Roommates, I mean."
"I have one roommate. She used to never talk to me, but we're getting along now. I don't want to bother her so late; she talks about beauty sleep a lot. She's actually the one braiding my hair lately."
"She changes it for you?"
"Yeah, I don't really mind."
"She seems nice. She goes here?"
"Yeah, I stay at the on-campus apartments," Kate nodded and pointed off to the right, "She's in the same major as you."
"Oh, maybe I'll meet her eventually."
"I hope she won't be too scary. She's rather mean, if I'm honest. She's blunt and crude, but she's warming up more now. I've noticed she's nice when talking about Rachel Amber."
"Big fan?"
"Huge fan, yet jealous of her too. But, she keeps talking about her. She still doesn't believe that I've met her."
"Yeah, living with someone famous has been… interesting, to say the least."
"Oh yeah! I already knew about Chloe! I've heard and seen all about them. Or, what happened recently at HUE. What happened, anyway?"
"They just wanted to have a good time. I was there, but I guess they were dancing too close. I don't know, media's making it blow up out of proportions."
"Are they going to come out or anything?"
"Maybe soon?"
Should I mention her religion? I was freaking out about it before… It's an innocent question. "Actually, Rachel told me you were religious. You're not asking because...?"
"Oh, no! I'm completely accepting of gay people." She waved her hands, defensively. I squinted my eyes, trying to read her body language again. She was a little too flustered, even though the question was about her being gay. I mean, that's good, at least.
"I'm Christian, but not radical." She shook her head. I couldn't just ask if she was gay, not even indirectly, as much as I want to.
"Huh, I never got into a religion."
"Your parents weren't?"
"I just never went to a church or considered it. Don't worry though, I won't be all like hardcore "ew" or anything. I respect your beliefs."
"I won't force it on you either. I never did that before."
Shit, I really can't tell if she was gay or if she's just being really nice. I have to stay hopeful. Rachel will kill me if I showed even a little bit of giving up.
"Oh, I still need to finish your book!" I reached into my bag and grabbed the book again.
"Are you going to read right now?"
"Yeah. Do you want me to read it out? It's the last chapter." I flipped it open.
She twirled with her braid, smiling sweetly, "Sure."
I smiled and cleared my throat.
For the next thirty minutes, Kate listened to me read slow and stumble on words. It was an emotional chapter and my voice was trembling. I could see Kate in the corner of my eye, now she was the one holding in laughter. I finished reading the last sentence, closing it, and then groaning out my emotions.
"Are you okay, Max?" She rubbed my back.
"This is a beautiful book, Kate." I handed it back to her, sniffling.
"I'm glad you liked it. Would you like another one?" She took it from me and started to put it into her bag.
"I'm not ready."
She giggled, "It won't be a sad one next time."
I rubbed one eye and stared down at the concrete. I looked over at her; she had bright pink cheeks and a tender expression on her face. My heart was about ready to explode. She didn't have redness or puffiness around her eyes anymore. In natural light, hazel eyes turned into a shiny honey, bashful and glinting. That's the gayest way to describe someone, but… it still doesn't do it justice.
"You're pretty..." I accidentally muttered.
"Thank you," she placed her hand on her cheek, "Gosh, you're making me blush."
Did I just… Did I just say that? Like, it seriously came out of mouth and she said thanks to that? Am I dreaming? Maybe I should pinch myself… Wait, it's not, shit. Wait—
I looked at her again, but she was on her phone. "M-my friends need me right now in the green screen room." Kate put her phone away and then grabbed her sketchbook again.
"Oh, for what?" I put my phone into my lap.
"They need some help setting some things up," She stood up, "Sorry to cut this short."
I did the same, "Don't be, it's okay."
I was holding my camera in my hand, letting my question bounce around in my mind. Well, maybe one photo of her couldn't hurt… It's an awkward question though! Just ask!
It was starting to get quiet again, so I let the question out, "Hey, can I get a picture of you? I wasn't sure if you were okay with me taking random ones."
"Oh no, it's fine! You want me to pose or are we taking one together?"
"Maybe just a pose first. Like, when I first came, you were sitting on the curb with your book."
Kate did so, getting back into the same position she was, opening her book to blank pages, and taking out her pencil to draw random circles. Checking if it was safe, I stepped back and angled myself to get a correct composition. There was something perfect about it: her in the center, her peaches and cream skin tone, her all black outfit, clearly in her own world, the gray building and bright blue and clear sky in the background, and the bright red "no parking" curb contrasting everything else. I took the shot and let the Polaroid film come out.
"You'll just need one?" Kate closed her book again.
I grabbed the film and fan it to develop.
"That's all I need." That was my lame attempt at flirting, even I didn't know what that meant.
"I have to go, though, so show me when we meet again?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Alright, bye Max." She jogged into the building.
I took my phone out and text Chloe. I had this overwhelming feeling of satisfaction; I couldn't get the stupid smile on my face. Okay, keep cool, Max. Forget about going to school today.
"What the fuck, I thought you were doing school shit?" Chloe kicked the door into our apartment. I couldn't speak to them during the drive back home. I was in such a good mood, I was at a loss for words.
"I'm happy after talking to Kate. I feel way better."
"Then, tell us all about it, Max!" Rachel grabbed my shoulders and shook me back and forth.
I stumbled a lot through the whole story. I didn't want to miss anything from it, but I couldn't help but backtrack sometimes and try to retell it in a better way. I even tried talking about it over the hair clipper against my neck. It earned a frustrated Chloe and an amused Rachel, but I just couldn't shut up about it!
"Maxnesium," Chloe turned the hair clipper off, "You're done and please be hella gay out there."
Rachel and I left into the living room and I sighed in relief as I sat down.
"It's hella nice to see you happy." Rachel really was like a proud mom. For some reason, I was okay with that.
"Well, what about you? I'm sorry for calling you so soon." I was rambling on, I wanted to keep going, but I felt I was being slightly annoying.
"Nothing really, we went out to eat, girls were looking at Chloe and I nearly had to knock a bitch out, but other than that, we just walked around. We didn't feel like doing anything crazy so we went around some shops and looked through windows. This was so funny, Chloe said "nice Rachel we're having." I remember her saying that when we skipped school together for the first time."
Rachel loved talking about that. It was one of the first things she told me when we first met. I still remember Chloe's face of terror when she was reminded of that. Good thing she couldn't hear over the clipper's buzz in the bathroom. I've done enough embarrassing shit in front of Kate… I'll never live it down. I'll think about it five years and slap the shit out of myself for it.
"But, anything more you want to say?" Rachel asked me with a smile, genuinely curious.
How are you guys holding up? Are you still mad at her? Are you gonna confront her soon? How are you so calm? She must be way madder than she's making it out to be.
"I wish I had her number…" I admitted instead.
"You'll get that soon, Max."
Chloe came out of the bathroom, back in her half-shaven glory, and posed for us in the middle of the living room, "Am I hot or am I fucking hot?"
Rachel released a wolf whistle, "Very fucking hot, Chloe. Which reminds me, you never wore the things I bought you!"
"Sorry, got a little… distracted." Chloe shrugged. She had such a confident smirk on her face, Rachel could only huff out her annoyance. I was a little uncomfortable in room by the sudden tension that statement created. I sat there, looking back and forth between them to see if something was going to happen. And like… why are they not fighting?
"Well, the sun's still out and our date was cut a little short," Rachel nudged into Chloe's side.
"We should go later."
"You want to party on a Wednesday again?" I asked her.
"Nah," Rachel added, "we should do another movie thing. Go to an actual theater and then go out to eat altogether."
"I don't want to third wheel you guys," I checked my phone, "You two just go and be together."
"It's okay, you can say "I rather think about being with Kate.'" Rachel pushed me lightly.
"Then shit," Chloe shrugged, "we should go right now." She held her hand out to Rachel. She took it, standing up and grabbing her into an embrace.
"I would love to." Rachel let go and then looked at me again, "You'll be good, right?" She pressed her finger on my chin and then lifted my head.
"I'll be fine. You guys enjoy your date."
Rachel seemed satisfied with that and put her hand down. I smiled and waved them goodbye. "See you later, cliMax." Chloe said before closing and locking the front door.
With time to spare, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I had no energy to put into my homework, TV was boring in the middle of the day, and "rubbing one out" … wasn't my thing. I had to think of something, something productive. So, I decided to do something I haven't done in a while: write in my journal.
I wrote in it more often in high school, when my life was more interesting. I haven't written in it since the first week of living in San Francisco. Since then, life became a cycle, repetitive, and kind of predictable. It was hidden under a pile of notes on my desk, but it was the same as I remembered. I decided, why the hell not, and read some last entries:
May 25, 2014 11:20 PM
This is it, Arcadia Bay. This is my last day living here. It's time to leave all the Blackwell bullshit behind and start again in San Francisco. I'm so excited to leave this place. Rachel's lucky; she already left. I can't believe this is really happening. No more bullies, no more creepy teachers, no more… no more boyfriend. Chloe's gonna drive the whole way. We're leaving right now. Time to focus on my goals. Max Caulfield: Photographer.
May 26, 2014 9:12 AM
San Francisco's a lot prettier in person. It's crazy, I will admit. Chloe's having a hard time in a regular car. But, we made it. It's a new, fresh start. I still haven't comprehended it. Being away from everyone in Oregon feels so liberating. The first thing on my to-do list is to travel around San Fran. See everything in light, take a few shots. Experience more than a little town.
I can't believe I start school in August. I don't expect much. Last time I did, the teacher is sitting in prison right now. Maybe dating someone? Not sure, maybe not after what I did to Warren. But, what I do know for sure is getting used to living here. I'm sitting in the living room of our new apartment. I gotta say, it's not half bad.
Other than one sentence, I smiled throughout the whole passage. I looked around, looking at every wall in the living room. And you know what, Past-Max? It still isn't half bad.
I took a pen from my bag and started a new page:
April 1, 2015 12:47 PM
I can't believe I'm in my fourth quarter now. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it's been eight to nine months of school, I give myself a pat on the back for that. I read a couple of old entries and one of the things I may or may not have wanted was dating someone. I only ever thought she was (she really is) pretty, but now we're talking. Yeah, for cereal. She's so nice and sweet. I wouldn't mind staying just her friend. But, she's girlfriend material, I will admit that.
To keep up with the style of the rest of my journal, I started draw out Kate on the side of the page. I preferred to draw from memory in my journal.
Now, Rachel became a (hella) famous fashion model. She's always being followed around and her phone's always being hit with notifications. I dunno how she handles all this fame, to be honest. I wouldn't be able to. She's so… awesome, I wanna say! She's here in San Francisco now, living with us, but she's still being followed around. Especially now, since she and Chloe were found dancing at HUE sf.
Speaking of Chloe, things… have changed. I never cared about her smoking and drinking. I hated it, but it was her choice to make. Since the move, she never smoked again, but her drinking has gotten worse. For nearly a year, Rachel and Chloe were apart. Chloe works every day, dealing with shitty customers and my tired student ass, she does depend on drinking alcohol to sorta work through the stress. They fought about it recently. I dunno, it's a difficult subject.
I felt my phone vibrate against my thigh, bringing me back into reality again.
"Hello?" I said into the phone after reading the ID.
"Hey Max." Rachel greeted back. "How are you doing over there?"
"Nothing, just finishing up some work over here." With my other hand, I was putting the finishing touches on Chloe's portrait.
"Cool, anyway, we're heading back right now. Again. Chloe saw people checking me out and now she's hella angry."
"In a "she's famous" kind of way or "she's hot" kind of way?"
"It's a big clusterfuck of both."
"Damn, tell me when you get back?"
"For sure. Oh! But we do have some good news when we get back! See you later."
I wasn't sure whether to be excited or nervous. Before my head could explode, I went back to my journal, adding more doodles around my entry.
