Finally got this up, 13 will be sometime soonish, i think
Chapter 12
Who knew the dead last was so good?
"Hey ero-sennin, how come you're here?"
The Sannin growled in annoyance "Stop Calling Me That!"
Team 7 further descended into a laughing fit, and Kakashi smirked,
'Things have really gone well with the four of them' The Jonin thought. 'Things have changed amazingly in the past week. Sasuke's opened up about his brother to the rest of the team, Sakura has become less of a banshee, and I have Sasuke to thank for that. Haku has settled into the team incredibly, and although Naruto hasn't told his secret to the others yet, that's probably because he's been away for so long' Kakashi looked at the Sennin and his team. 'I reckon that will change soon enough.'
Naruto was shouting at Jiraiya, who was shouting back. Insults such as 'Pervert', 'one eyed Gaki', 'Old man', and 'Shorty' were traded, that being the last comment. At that point, Naruto developed a twitch in his eye and made a seal. Jiraiya was found two hours later, unconscious, floating upside down in the women's side of he hotsprings, a vital part of his anatomy damaged by a solid kick, the rest of his body had also taken damage involving twelve kunai, thirty-two of Haku's senbon, 17 ninja wires, 15 explosive tags, a passing hedgehog and Kakashi's spare headband. It became an S-class Kinjutsu named the Uzumaki torture, even Morino Ibiki winced at the thought of it, it was also thought Anko had a hand in it.
The damage inflicted upon the Sannin was so severe that even others suffered from the shockwave of the incredible attack. For example, Kakashi collapsed from laughing so hard, so team 7 just left their teacher on the floor where he lay. However, Sasuke took great care to step on their teacher as they walked on to the exam room. "Bit harsh Sasuke." Naruto commented.
Sasuke shrugged. "He tried to cut my hair."
The four of them laughed their backsides off all the way to the exam office. The room was filled with Genin of various ages; there was even a team that had to be at least twenty. Naruto took one look around, shrugged, and took a bottle of Sake out from the inside of his jacket and began to drink. People stared at him as if he had suddenly grown a second head.
Then the screaming on the roof started. Team 7 could hear Jiraiya screaming, as could the rest of the Genin. Some paled at the sounds, some merely shook their heads; one girl even fainted. The only distinct sentence was "That really shouldn't go there…", and this was accompanied by a snapping sound, and the screams became more distant.
Sasuke looked out the window and winced. "That was a good shot Naruto," the Uchiha noted, "I think Anko is there around this time."
Naruto grinned. "Awww yeah…" and took another swig of Sake.
Kiba walked up to Naruto and slapped his raised hand, "That, my good friend, was freaking immense!"
Hinata and Shino followed their teammate. Hinata just blushed upon sight of Naruto, Shino, was just Shino. 'That's right… I really should talk to her soon… I'm at my wits end dealing with two women as is; I doubt I could handle Hinata as well…'
There was a blurry voice in the back of Naruto's head 'I *hic* saw you *hic* set it up and *hic* I don't know how you *hic* did it.'
'You're already drunk? Wow'
'I'm still recovering *hic* from the *hic* 72 bottles last night *hic*'
'Ah'
"SASUKE-KUN!"
Sasuke sighed as he was glomped from the behind. He didn't move, he only replied "Hello Haku,"
"Erm… Sasuke?"
"What?"
"I'm right here." Haku waved while standing next to Naruto, opposite Sasuke.
"Eh?" This was a shocker for Sasuke. "Then..?"
"GET OFF HIM INO-PIG!"
"He's not yours!" Ino stuck her tongue out at Sakura while holding Sasuke tighter.
"Err, Yes He Is!"
"EH!?" Ino looked mortified. "SASUKE-KUN! Say it isn't so!!"
Sasuke leaned his head back so he could face her. "Actually, Yeah. I'm taken, have been for the last six weeks, i though i told everyone. Naruto's free if you're interested-"
Ino was thrown forward as Naruto punched Sasuke in the gut. However, Sasuke disappeared in a cloud of smoke. "Damn Naruto, you could have taken me out there."
Naruto's anger turned to astonishment. "When did you learn how to do that?"
Sasuke smiled. "Shadow clones? Easy." Ino and Sakura were even more impressed than Naruto. "I copied your little trick though. Never would've thought that it was a simple-"
Naruto quickly shut him up, but he disappeared again.
"Fine, I'll keep quiet about it; just remember I don't have your chakra." Sasuke was eating an energy bar. "Unlike you, I can't do it endlessly yet."
Ino was shocked, "Wh-Why would Sasuke Kun copy from a dunce like Naruto?"
"Because idiots are inventive."
Shikamaru and Chouji came to join their classmates. Shikamaru continued: "Last place knew more than he let on, but it didn't help him much did it?"
"Um… N-Naruto Kun h-has always been s-strong, ano… it-it's just that…"
"All the teachers had it in for him." Kiba finished her sentence for her.
"Iruka was alright, and it wasn't that bad!" 'Yeah it was' Naruto thought, 'but Iruka-sensei did try at least.'
"He didn't hate you." Shikamaru corrected. "He still said you were a failure."
"The other teachers did seem to harbour a… Prejudice against Naruto." Shino noted.
"Yeah, you got into trouble way more than me and Shino put together!" Chouji added, temporarily leaving his snack to join the conversation. "Maybe even if you threw in Kiba you'd outrank us." Chouji returned to his chips. Told you it was temporary.
"Only to be expected from the joint Sannin of Pranks, and Failure of the Year!"
"C-Come on guys!" Naruto tried to fix his cover; Haku was looking suspicious; "It's not like they had a vendetta against me or anything!"
Sasuke caught his lie. "You're - " he began, but he paused to dodge Naruto's kick. Remembering his promise to help Naruto, Sasuke redirected his sentence; "-Dead!"
The two fought for almost a minute before Shikamaru interrupted it.
"Troublesome."
The reason that the lazy genin said this was because Gaara, Temari and Kankuro came over
"You're telling me…" was Naruto's reply, withdrawing his fist from Sasuke's face. Gaara, like before, was wearing a padded suit. His headband had been converted into a tie - serving no purpose other than looking rather badass. Like Naruto, he had a bottle of Sake in his hand, he lifted the bottle to emphasise it, "Really makes it easier."
"Doesn't it just?" replied Naruto, as everyone else stared in confusion.
Temari looked at Naruto, blushing slightly. Naruto, thinking of the night before he left Suna, blushed as well. Temari then looked at the rest of team 7, and blushed slightly upon sight of Haku. Temari simply nodded to her at this.
Sasuke winced a smile, as if a friend had just done something very painful and funny. Naruto, however, hid his outrage. 'You didn't!'
'Foresight is a *Hic* beautiful thing'
Naruto drank more sake, 'She's gonna figure it out. And I won't stop her if she ever gets her hands on you.'
'How's she, *Hic* How's she gonna do that then?'
'Temari's smart. She'd work something out.'
'That's fine. I'll just *Hic* tell her you got me drunk and told me to do it.'
Naruto sighed. 'This is going to be a long day…'
Sasuke leaned over to Naruto, whispering "This is going to be interesting…"
Naruto nodded, and drank some more. Temari and Haku were deep in conversation. Probably just girl talk.
Except Sakura, Ino and Hinata aren't invited.
And Haku looks like a dude with her hair like that.
And Temari started talking to her right after Kyube's arousal Jutsu affecter her with Haku.
And it's definitely girl talk.
And Temari knows that she isn't attracted to women.
But she does know that Kyuubi has that arousal Jutsu and likes to see others suffer.
And Temari is good at putting two and two together.
The two girls in question turned to Naruto; Temari glaring and Haku grinning.
Fuck
'I am either very lucky, or very dead, door number 1 please.'
'Awww *hic* yeah, I'm proud *hic* of you kit.'
'How did you know id end up with Haku as well'
'Advan *hic* ced physics'
Before Naruto could reply, a yell came across the room, "Shut up and come here for seating!!" It was a yell that was used to giving orders, and having them obeyed. Several Chunin examiners were stood at the front of the room, lead by one man Naruto never wanted to see again, that one time he had been deatained by ANBU for nicking this guys teddy bear.
Morino Ibiki.
The interrogation officer spotted Naruto and grinned. "Ah, so the infamous Sannin of the pranks is here!" Naruto took another drink of Sake, "Perhaps I won't be bored out of my skull today after all…" People looked between him and Naruto curiously as a murmur began throughout the room.
Naruto gulped, 'Why him?, anyone but him!' Kyube was mercifully silent, likely because he was dead drunk.
The exam was indeed fun. For starters, Haku was sat one side of Naruto and Temari the other, but also a Chunnin found himself short of his clipboard once the genin filed into the exam room. It never was found, probably because Naruto had it.
Holding it under the table, Naruto read it as Ibiki explained the so-called 'rules' of the exam. Naruto, having learned about his love for mind games long ago, ignored him and studied the clipboard.
The exam was a dud. Nine out of the ten questions were impossible for a genin to answer, and the tenth was a secret. The chart had the seating arrangements of the examinees, but there were three blank seats on the chart. Looking around, Naruto saw that they were occupied by Leaf Ninja, most likely confederates. Naruto frowned. This meant that they were getting marked on how well they cheated, the exam was a lie. Sighing, Naruto looked at his exam as he slipped a leaf into his mouth and began to chew.
'Huh? Whut?'"
Naruto smiled. The old man knew his stuff. The leaf had a chemical that made you sweat out the alcohol in your bloodstream. He'd stink of Sake, but he already did, so it was cool.
'Hey, I need your help.'
'Doing what?'
Naruto smiled. 'Doing what I do best. Raising Hell.'
"BEGIN!!"
'Awww Yeah…'
Throughout the exam, hell was raised. In tiny, precise peaks, lifted carefully to make it impossible to determine who was doing it. The female sound nin found her bra on top of Ibiki's head, and no-one could figure out how the awkward situation came to pass. Akamaru found himself sat on Shikamaru minus his dog collar, which had been modified and put over Chouji's mouth and no one ever saw a thing. The collar took half an hour to remove. Even though she only jumped slightly Haku was given a wedgie, she was wearing his boxers again. Neji gained a paper crown, and Shino inexplicably gained an octopus mask, but gave no reaction as he continued the exam. Even Naruto got an egg rammed into his face.
When Ibiki asked if they were ready for the tenth question, he explained the rules and took off his head band. While this was all very intimidating, Naruto had to suppress the urge to say "Been there, done that, got the tiny little scar up my backside." Half the room fled, leaving the Konoha 13 (the original 12 and Haku), Gaara, Temari, Kankuro as well as a few teams from Iwa, one from rain, one from grass and one from Oto, plus a few others from Konoha as well.
"No one else leaving then, very we..."
It was at this point that a banner flew through the window and was pinned to the roof and floor by Kunai. However, no one was able to read the banner as it was instantly covered in spray paint displaying the words; "SUCKS TO BE YOU!" The Kunoichi that came through the window was upset to say the least. When she saw Naruto she grinned, quite sadistically, "This is going to be fun".
Ibiki picked Naruto's exam paper he looked at the paper, interested in how the boy did. It was obvious that boy had pulled all those pranks; a lesser ninja would have been fooled when Naruto egged himself, but it was obvious that no-one else had the balls or imagination to pull that off. His scarred jaw dropped as he saw what was written on the paper.
Every question was correct.
Not copied, that was clear. Each answer was in the boys own words, his distinct sense of humour was evident in his answers. The paper showed his working out, and the fact that the boy missed out key words only help prove the authenticity of his answers. He noticed a note just beneath the tenth question. "P.T.O.?"
Ibiki turned over the exam paper, and his eye twitched.
The boy had made a very detailed drawing of a right hand, covering almost the entire A4 page, its middle finger pointed straight at his face. The word 'Owned' was drawn on the back of the hand like a tattoo, and despite the insolence it showed, the detail of the sketch would have taken an artist the better part of an hour.
'So how the hell have time to do the exam and the pranks as well as the drawing?'
Ibiki sensed that he had just met a truly amazing ninja.
That, night, Naruto stood in the shower in his apartment, his demon eye was uncovered. 'This next one is going to be tough.' He thought about what Anko had said.
After Anko had taken the remaining teams from the first exam room she had given the teams a meeting place and time for the morning so she could take them to the second exam location. She told them what equipment they would need, and the list said no food, and cheating teams would be disqualified. 'Survival test then.' Naruto thought when he heard this. 'Hope I recognise the plants there…'
Naruto then heard a sound which pulled him out of his memory. 'Not good.'
Someone had dropped something on the floor and Naruto was pretty sure he knew who. He closed his right eye and sighed, bracing himself for the impact. He wasn't disappointed, as someone had joined him in the shower and said person was also hugging him from behind, his face went red as he felt that person's breasts push against his back.
"Hello Haku…" Frustration laced Naruto's words. He felt a chill down his spine despite the hot water, 'Not good at all.'
"Awww, what's wrong?"
"Uh... you should...uh"
Haku giggled.
'At this point kit you turn around, push her into the wall an...' Kyube trailed away as Naruto tuned him out.
He then realised his big mistake, whilst he wasn't paying attention, Haku had slid around and had him by the waist, she was looking at him with a grin and Naruto's nose had a small trickle of blood, his right eye was still closed. His left eye, however, was very open.
"You know, you can see better with two eyes." Haku pointed out. "Come on, open up!"
"No." He replied, desperately trying not to look down.
Even though he said that, he did nothing as she moved her hand up to his eye; her hand hovered just in front of the eye, uncertainty in hers.
Naruto sighed in defeat and opened his eye. Haku's hand dropped to her side, jaw dropping, and a scream he thought was 'cute, if not terrified'.
Naruto sighed and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. 'If she's like that about the eye, how'll she react to Kyube?' Naruto opened the door and stepped into the hallway as his train of thought continued; 'And for that matter, how will everyone else?'
He was interrupted as he felt a hand grab his shoulder and spin him around before Haku kissed him, pushing him to the floor. 'Well, this worked out alright'
Even after Haku had released him she kept hugging him. "Thanks Naruto…"
Naruto just lay underneath her. 'Wait, she grateful?' Made sense actually, even Kakashi was shocked to first see his eye, but Naruto had actually let her in there. Even Temari forced it out of him. This brought forward another question; 'When do I tell them all?'
"Oh!" Haku derailed his train of thought. "Naruto's a pervert!" She said, reaching down for his towel. Panicking, Naruto disappeared in a cloud of smoke and Haku fell a couple of inches onto the floor. "Hey, No Fair!"
"Neither is surprise shower buddies." Naruto, plus pants, was walked out of his room pulling a shirt on. "I'm gonna get ready for tomorrow," He continued, "Want me to pack for you while you shower?"
Mist was coming out of the bathroom as Haku stood up, unashamed. "Yeah, I guess." She turned back into the bathroom and looked back at the blonde. "Nice belly tattoo by the way." She said, closing the door behind her.
Naruto paled as the demon laughed. 'You're good Kit,' Kyube noted between the laughter, 'But you're not that good yet.'
Meanwhile, thousands of metres away in the Konoha guest barracks, Gaara was having a panic attack. "Thiscan'tbehappeningthiscan'tbehappeningTHISCAN'TBEHAPPENING!"
'Well it is, so live with it.'
"SHUTUP! Notgoodnotgoodnotgood…"
Temari and Kankuro were helpless to help their brother. "Is, Is he talking to, it?"
"Probably," Temari answered her younger brother. "We have no idea what Naruto taught him apart from Taijutsu and human emotion…"
Kankuro sighed, "Well, at least he's resisting it." He fell back onto his bed. "But man, that was a shocker."
His sister nodded. "He told me back home," She said, "But I didn't believe it I saw how the other Konoha were treating him…"
"I mean come on!" Kankuro flipped forward. "He completely schooled the full on demonic Gaara, He mastered Wind Jutsu in a couple of weeks, He's got that Kage Bunshin trick, He's a decent fighter, immense chakra, He's the Jinchuriki to the strongest of the tailed demons, he's only got one eye," He missed Temari's flash of guilt "and he's ranked LAST PLACE!? HOW THE HELL!?"
"IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! NARUTO'S STRONG DAMMIT!!" Gaara seemed to be getting worse, and Kankuro was starting to join him.
Sighing, Temari picked up her fan and swung it. The wind threw her two brothers across the room, and they were stunned into silence. Glaring at her younger siblings, Temari set things strait. "So What if he's last place? There could be any number of reasons!" Temari sat down on one of the beds while the two brothers shifted into a cross legged position, like students in front of a teacher.
"Actually, they called him the Sannin of pranks right?" Kankuro noted, "So he could have just spent all of his energy doing that instead?"
"Yeah," Gaara nodded, "That fits."
"No it doesn't." Temari shook her head. "Naruto's not like that." She pieced together what she knew about him, from his own account, the way others treat him, and from a very informative Haku. Temari frowned, but that could wait. Combined with her experience with Gaara, she came up with a theory.
"Naruto's an Orphan. On top of that, no-one knows anything about his birth, except he was born when the nine-tailed fox attacked the village, and that the Yondaime died sealing it into him. But no-one told him until he was twelve… There's a law here forbidding the discussion of it to anyone, unless Naruto initiates the topic specifically. Because of that, parents probably just told their kids to stay away from him." She paused, her frown furrowing deeper. "On top of that, the adults treated him like dirt. Gaara was treat okay since he was the Kazekage's son, then gained fear as he began to kill." Gaara nodded at this, as his sister continued, "But Naruto was just the orphan- no, the demon fox whose existence they had to tolerate, so they mostly ignored him or abused him. Naruto couldn't understand why no-one liked him, so since he couldn't get affection, he settled for attention."
"Like how I settled for fear…"
Temari nodded. "Yeah, Naruto was just like you, but he found another outlet. But if you combine the fact that the entire village hated him with the fact that he was also a prankster, it's no wonder if the teachers never actually helped him with the basic academy. In fact," Temari's frown turned to… sadness? "It's no surprise if the teachers sabotaged his growth. And if the Kyuubi was his main teacher, he probably his the demon's power in case he got caught, so the only ones that know he's any good are us and his team."
After a few moments, Kankuro stood up. "Actually, that makes sense. His starting form looked forced, as if he'd only just learnt it recently, most of his fighting was sloppy and wild, as if he'd learnt it in schoolyard brawls." He then leaned against the wall, head tilted to one side. "Actually, He didn't even seem to know most basic Jutsu."
"Every Village has their own Jutsu Kankuro."
"Yeah, but every Genin can create illusionary clones. Not Naruto." Kankuro smiled. "Only cloning he can do is a high level Kage Bunshin he taught himself. It's not that he doesn't use low level techniques, he actually can't use low level techniques."
'Just like you.'
Gaara stood up, sighing. He reached into the fridge for some alcohol.
"Another one?" Temari asked. "It's no good for you, you know."
"Pass us a cold one."
Gaara tossed a can to his older brother, emerging from the fridge with his own. Opening it, he simply remarked "It shuts up Shukaku."
'Alchie.'
***The next day, outside the forest of death***
Anko was grinning like a madman, err… woman. For example, she just flashed team 7 a few seconds ago. Well, half of it, Sasuke and Sakura were looking away, no prizes for guessing where their attention was. Naruto should have been stunned, but for some reason he was only mildly shocked. 'Am I getting desensitised?'
'Doubt it, Seen better.'
Haku, on the other hand had a nose bleed; Anko took the chance to cop a feel. 'Yup, female. Thought so, but it's not so easy to tell, that is one really baggy top.'
She whispered something into Haku's ear, who blushed before whispering back. Anko walked away with a smirk Naruto did not like.
After the signing of forms, the removal of some of Naruto's blood, one really long tongue, the distribution of scrolls and the splitting of teams, the gates opened and the other teams rushed in. Naruto felt someone slip something into his pocket. It was a small scroll. Naruto read it, laughed, and walked into the forest of death alone.
***In the forest of death***
With the Suna Team
Once they had cleared some distance into the forest, Temari veered off to the right and made hand signs over her shoulder, indicating 'This Way'
Gaara and Kankuro just shrugged and followed.
With Team 7
Sasuke led Haku and Sakura about a mile into the forest before Haku stopped the team. She explained the plan to them, and they both grinned.
About an hour later
Team 7 and the sand siblings had found each other, and were waiting for Naruto to show up. After it was confirmed that both teams had the Heaven Scroll, they all agreed to the alliance that had been set up.
Eventually, Sasuke felt his hair get scuffle. "Naruto, why are you on my head?"
Naruto handed him a piece of paper. "Check it out."
Naruto Meet us on Sasuke's head. Haku and Temari
Sasuke read what was written and sighed, "Sometimes I just don't get women."
Naruto sidestepped as Sasuke was punched into a tree by Sakura, who looked for Naruto. Reaching above her head, she grabbed Naruto's ankle and smashed him into the ground.
"Ow…"
Naruto got up, dusted himself and handed Gaara the note. Kankuro read at the note over his brother's shoulder, and they both laughed.
Sasuke got up and explained to Sakura what the note contained, her now being the only one now out of the loop. Sakura glared at Haku and Temari, who grinned. "Honestly…" She said, picking the twigs and dirt out of Sasuke's hair.
Naruto looked around the group. All seemed right in the worl-
"GUH!"
Naruto looked behind him and saw a half a dozen senbon in his back. As the world grew dark, he saw Temari approach him, pure murder on her face.
'Sucks to be me…' He thought, as he lost conciousness and fell to the ground.
Temari picked up the unconscious ninja and hoisted him over his shoulder. She faced the other four genin and simply said "Excuse us…" as she walked into the trees with Haku.
After a moment, Sakura asked the important question. "What the hell? I thought she liked him!?"
"I know." Sasuke sighed, deciding that Naruto was in large pile of crap, so coming clean now would minimise his pile later. "That's the problem."
Gaara was confused. "I thought Naruto and Temari were dating..?"
"EH?" Sakura was stunned. "I thought he was going out with Haku!?"
There was silence for a moment, and then Sasuke simply said. "You're both right. Then they found out. I warned him this would happen, but he was all like no, I like them both! You gotta hand it to him, he's got balls."
"Wait, WHAT!?" Kankuro was outraged. "I'll kill him."
Sasuke shrugged. "Looks like your sister beat you to it."
"Man, this sucks."
"Actually, this is pretty awesome!"
Naruto looked around, finding himself back in the Kyuubi's lair. He punched him.
"OW! Hey!"
"SHUT UP! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"
"And how?"
"You just HAD to use the arousal Jutsu to make Temari attracted to Haku didn't you? Didn't you realise that she'd put two and two together and figure out that you were screwing with her again?"
"Yep."
"…Then…Why..?"
"You'll see…" as the world turned black again.
"Yeah… I think we might have overdone it Temari…"
"It's called Irony. He invented it."
"Uzumaki Torture uses a hedgehog Temari, not a flying pirate sickle…weasel…thing… what is that anyway?"
"Kamatari, Summon Jutsu."
"That's even worse! You could've killed him!"
Temari shook her head. "He'd be fine. He heals fast, remember?"
Haku was surprised at this, "Really? Why?"
Now it was Temari's turn. "You don't know?"
Haku shook her head. "Something to do with his eye?"
Before she could respond, Naruto did. "Oww…"
"Oh look, the lying, cheating scumbag's awake."
"In my defence, I didn't lie about this-"
Haku kicked him in the chest. "But you admit that you are a liar."
'I'm a ninja; of course I lie.' But self perseveration told him to keep his mouth shut.
'Wise move Kit.'
'Shut up.'
Temari leaned against a tree. "Well? Aren't you going to explain yourself? And don't you dare blame your little friend."
Naruto blanked for a moment, desperately grasping for an excuse. Twelve years of excuses and he had none. Then he realised something. 'She used guarded language.' He thought. 'She's keeping quiet about Kyube, so I can still save my ass.'
'It's the 'how' that's important Kit. How are you going to save your ass?'
Naruto didn't even bother blocking out the fox. Or excusing himself. "First off, both of you came on to me. Yeah, I didn't say no, come on! I'm Twelve years old! You expect me to be able to say no?"
"He has got a point." Haku noted, as Temari almost chocked.
"TWELVE!?"
Naruto blinked. "Err… Yeah?"
Temari regained control of her self. "Fine then, but why all the secrets? Why not just come forward and say so in the first place. You didn't even ask if we were okay with you dating us both."
"Sorry, but- Wait, WHAT!?"
"For the record," Haku put in, "I am."
"Wait, WHAT!?"
'It worked, Awww yeah'
Haku simply looked smug, and Temari smiled. Naruto got the hint. "Erm… Are you..?"
Temari shrugged. "Go on then."
Haku jumped into the air. "YAY! THREESOME!"
The sound rocked through the forest.
"YAY! THREESOME!"
TenTen almost tripped over the unconscious Rain Ninja. "WHAT?"
Neji shrugged. "Some People have no priorities."
"What are you talking about Neji Kun?" Rock Lee struck a pose. "It is simple the power of-"
"Say Youth and I'll kick your ass."
Rock Lee shut up.
"YAY! THREESOME!"
Team 10 paused. They were trailing some weaker looking ninja. Shikamaru shook his head and Ino sighed. "Ah, Me, Sasuke Kun and Sakura… That'd be nice…"
Chouji choked on the crisp he was eating, wiping the blood from his nose.
Shikamaru grunted. "Who in their right minds would try to deal with two women at once? Too troublesome…"
"YAY! THREESOME!"
A grass nin heard this and smiled. He began to rush through the forest in that direction.
"YAY! THREESOME!"
Sasuke's, Sakura's and Kunkuro's jaws dropped simultaneously. How the hell had he managed to pull it off?
Gaara smiled. "Hey, Naruto's got balls."
Sasuke shook his head. "Made from Cast Iron…"
"YAY! THREESOME!"
"No."
"Aw… Come on Tems!"
Temari was taken aback. "Did you just call me Tems?"
Haku shrugged. "We're sharing the same man now aren't we? That practically makes us sisters or something!"
Temari sighed. "Fine, whatever. Come on, we should get moving. You probably told half the forest where we were with that."
Haku flinched as Temari cut Naruto loose. "Sorry about that."
"That's not all actually…" Temari looked concerned as she got to work fixing the damage. "I think you broke him."
Sure enough, Naruto looked like his brain just broke. He had a double barrel nosebleed, but that was only to be expected after what he'd just imagined. Actually, Temari was more worried about what the Kyuubi had imagined and shown him, which was probably what made him go into shock. Temari sighed, 'He really is just a kid…'
"All thanks to me."
"Shut up Kyube, you had no idea this was going to happen."
"Either way, now you have your very own-"
"I'm leaving now. I'm on a mission, remember?"
Several hours later
Thanks to Naruto's tracking skills and Gaara's sand, the seven genin quickly obtained two earth scrolls, meaning that all they needed was a heaven scroll for Naruto. That's when things went downhill, as a giant snake dived out from the canopy as the group dashed across the tree branches. Naruto suddenly found himself on the forest floor, staring into the eyes of a giant snake.
'This can't be good.'
