Retarted name for this chapter, I know. I did this for a request made a long time ago that I couldn't think of anything for at the time. But then I thought this up and here it is. If something's in parentheses, it means I was translating for your convinience. Ok, so this is the last of the replaced chapters.
Reno stood outside Rufus' office with his face pressed to the crack. Inside, he could hear the president of Shin-Ra Electric Power Company mumbling to himself. Behind Reno Rude stood leaning against the wall, watching the red-haired man.
"Reno, what are you doing?" Rude suppressed a smile when Reno jumped at his voice.
"Rude, shhhh. Don't say anything and look through the keyhole."
Rude sighed and bent to look through the keyhole. Inside, Rufus was pushing himself unsteadily out of his seat and making his way to the door. Reno said something vaguely offensive and pulled Rude away from the door. Rufus' door opened as Reno pushed Rude into an empty office.
"Reno!"
"Yeah?" Reno leaned around the door and smiled at his boss.
"I've got a headache, get me some medicine and more coffee."
Reno nodded and Rufus turned back into his office. He waited a minute and pulled a bottle of dark liquid out of his pocket and poured some into a coffee cup. He dug a small bottle out of his pocket and dumped a few pills into his hand.
"Reno! You can't take pills with alcohol." Rude grabbed Reno's hair as Reno turned towards the office.
"First: I'm not taking them. Second: They aren't pills, they're vitamins."
"You're giving vitamins and alcohol to the president?"
Reno nodded. "Yeah. I think he should just relax. And what better way than getting smashed?"
Rude sighed as Reno pushed open the door and stepped though. "Here you go, sir. Aspirin and coffee."
Rufus mumbled something and took the cup and "pills" from Reno. "Holler if you need anything."
---
Half an hour later Reno looked up as the door to the Turk office opened. He paled slightly when he saw Tseng. Tseng didn't notice and stared absently at Reno. "The President is in his office, singing something."
Reno fought not to laugh as Rude stared at their boss in horror. Reno lost his fight and burst out laughing.
"What's he singing?" Rude stared at the wall where they could hear "someone" singing off-key from the office next to theirs.
Tseng shook his head and Reno stumbled to his feet. "I've got to see this. Where's my camera?"
"Reno, you'll be fired." Rude watched as Reno dug through his desk.
"Nu-uh. He won't remember me going in there, trust me."
Reno pushed open Rufus' door to see his leaning heavily on his desk. He smiled slightly at Reno and kept singing the song. Reno took a few shots with his camera before he realized what song it was that his boss was singing.
What is the multed liquor.(beer)
What gets you…something…something quicker?
What comes in bottles or in caaans?(beer)
Can't get-hic-enough of it,(beer)
"I wish the floor would stop trying to trip me." Rufus paused in his song and stumbled towards Reno.
How we relly love it,(beer)
Makes me think Im a man,(beer)
I can kiss ad hug it,(beer)
But I'd rather…chug it,(beer)
Fill my belly-hic-up to here,(beer)
I could not hmmm a,(beer)
I could relly use a,(beer)
Beer, beer, beer.
"Oh…my…" Reno trailed off as Rude looked over his shoulder.
"Sir?"
"Fellas!" Rufus giggled slightly. "Has it gin?"
Reno bit back a laugh as Rufus fell over. "Stup'd flur. Tryin to mik mee full."
Elena appeared behind them, got one look at the president, and shook her head. She sighed and stepped into the office to help Rufus to his feet as Reno doubled up, laughing. Elena led her boss to a couch on the wall and made him lie down.
"You should sleep. Reno, put that away, or I'll tell him you had it."
Reno made a face, "Yes, Mom."
"Good. Now, as far as he knows, this whole song thing never happened. Reno, it will stay that way, do you understand me?"
Reno cracked an evil smile, but nodded. As far as Rufus knew it never happened. That didn't include the rest of Shin-Ra Inc.
"We're going to leave and let him sleep this off. Whatever it is."
Wolf: I don't own that song. It's, The Beer Song, By Wierd Al. I couldn't put that at the top, or any of this, it'd have ruined it. I thought this up when I was looking over my reviews and typed it up right after. I wanted to do Rufus singing like bdsproductions asked, but I couldn't think how. Then I figured out that Rufus probably wouldn't sing unless he was completly smashed. And there you go.
Rufus: So that's what happened that day. Do you know where Reno is?
Wolf: (Eyes wide) Some mission. Coste Del Sol, I think. Please don't hurt me, it wasn't my idea!
A crash, a scream,and then silence.
