AN: so this chapter is an important turning point for Xena and Gabrielle, but don't get sappy yet, Xena is still...Xena lol. This chapter is quite long as well as I had to include something very vital from the last chapter. I have included quite a few lines from the show, see if you can figure out which ones those are ;) Enjoy!
Chapter 12
The meeting between Xena and Phraates did not last very long after the random fight caused by Toris, Xena's older brother. Phraates did not agree to anything that Xena offered and this surprised her. She concluded that Phraates was more involved with Marc Antony than she thought. She wondered how long they had been conspiring together, perhaps years, she didn't know but she didn't want their allegiance hindering her empire any further than it already has. She will have to do something drastic then, she decided.
Xena had suggested that her men make camp miles away from Phraates's camp as she didn't want his hospitality. It was infuriating enough that she had been shunned by him tonight and Toris was another story. She hadn't seen him in the camp as she and Gabrielle left the emperor's tent. Her royal guards had set up her giant tent in the center of her small camp and she was about to enter the tent when she turned to face Gabrielle.
"If you ever make demands of me like that again, I'll skin you from head to toe," Xena said inches away from her face, making sure her guards heard every word.
Gabrielle gulped and straightened herself out, "he's your brother..." she said, not even apologizing for what she did earlier. She didn't feel the need to apologize for what she did. She saved his life.
Xena sneered, "blood can be replaced by more blood Gabrielle. I do not care who's blood is spilled, even if it is the flesh of my flesh."
"He's still your brother. He didn't deserve to die, you know that." She hoped she wasn't over stepping her boundaries but it appeared she already did back in the emperor's tent.
Xena stepped back and smiled mockingly at Gabrielle. "you're not my conscious Gabrielle. I knew what I was doing, he had some information that I needed from him so-"
Gabrielle cut the empress off, "so you would attempt to kill him for it? How well has that worked for you in the past?"
Xena pulled out her sword and pointed it at Gabrielle's neck and she gritted her teeth. She saw that everyone was watching and then she pushed the blonde into her royal tent and she was on the ground now. Gabrielle huffed and got up from the floor and Xena entered the tent still with the point of the sword at her throat.
"You are testing my nerves, girl," Xena said with a wicked smile.
"What information was so important that you were willing to kill your own brother for?" Gabrielle stated, not the least bit scared that death was knocking on the door.
Xena remained her stance keeping the blade close to Gabrielle's neck. "Personal information, which is none of your business."
Gabrielle figured that the conqueror kept her personal life a secret for a reason. Little was known about Xena's personal life although tonight she found out that Xena had an elder brother, which meant that Xena was just like her. She once had a home, a family, a mother, a father, a brother, and friends. She gave all that up to become a destroyer of nations? That didn't make a lot of sense. Perhaps Xena was once a nice kind person and something snapped and she went berserk. Eventually the truth would come out. All of the Roman emperors did not hide their personal lives from their public especially Caesar and the House of Julii. Everyone knew who their family was, yet nothing horrid happened to them because the public knew that even though they were nobles, they had a connection with the common people. Xena had no connection with her people, they feared her. Toris was right, Xena is a tyrant and very impersonal with her people. She should allow the commoners to have a voice, similar to what Octavius has done with his people. They had somewhat of a voice and he actually listened to them. Xena didn't care about the people, all she cared about was power and her empire.
"...maybe you'd like to talk about it with someone? Keeping secrets for a long time can sometimes make people go insane."
Xena laughed, "insane? You think me insane? Are you a philosopher now? I didn't give you the job as my scribe to boast philosophical bullshit," she realized that the sword was not helping the situation and she hung it on a rack next to the entrance.
She started taking off her robe and she was dressed in a long sleeved black gown with a silver belt at her slim waist. She sat down on her bed and began unlacing her boots.
Gabrielle stood up thanking the gods for saving her life once more. She was starting to feel like a cat. "It's quite a surprise isn't it? Losing your humanity?" she thought aloud, she was beginning to lose a lot of lives here.
Xena's eyes trailed up to the short blonde and she displayed a crooked smile. "Excuse me?"
"Losing your humanity is the ultimate failure in life. Once you lose that...I don't know if you could ever come back from that," Gabrielle was just speaking in general, not particularly about Xena.
The raven haired empress scoffed, "Humanity is a simple thing Gabrielle." She threw her boots to the side, "we all want the same things, money, lovers, power...I just happen to have it all." She smiled.
Gabrielle could go on and on talking to Xena about how wrong she really was but was it worth it? she may never know. She shrugged and sighed, "you're right. You have it all."
Xena nodded, "and don't you forget that, little Gabrielle."
Gabrielle didn't say another word and made her way to the exit of the tent to go to a tent that was set up for her a few paces away, by Xena's request she was sure of. "Goodnight, Xena." She opened one of the flaps and left Xena's tent quietly treading to her own tent close by.
The conqueror released a groan and flopped onto the bed spreading her arms on the warm blankets and animal furs. She stared at the ceiling of the tent and began to think, it was never good when she started to think about things. She thought of her brother, Toris, whom she hadn't seen since she was a teenager just before Lyceus died. She regretted that day and was sure that Toris felt the same, or did he? There was one thing she wasn't so sure of and that was how Toris knew that she had a son. Only two people knew that she was pregnant, Borias and her slave girl at the time. As much as she hated Borias for his treachery she couldn't bring her thoughts to think that Borias would have told another soul of her pregnancy or that they had a son together. So, the question was still open. Who told Toris or how did he find out? Xena figured that her slave girl had gone to serve someone else after her camp and army were virtually destroyed during the birth of Solan. She knew that her maid wouldn't tell anyone, what would she gain from it? Nothing and besides nobody would believe a slave girl anyway. Xena began to start reminiscing her memories of what happened after Borias took Solan from her. She furrowed her eyebrows as it was so long ago her memories were starting to become fuzzy, but she did remember what did happen in the beginning.
Fifteen Summers Ago, Rome
Xena had left the small camp that Borias and her maid had made outside the city of Rome. She didn't really remember everything that happened as she was drugged while being carried out of her tent, but she did see flames, a lot of flames. She was sure that her entire camp was destroyed and who knows where her men had gone, if she had any left. She made her way back slowly up a large hill. Borias was nice enough to leave her a horse before he made his journey elsewhere. It was difficult climbing onto the horse as she was still weak and needed food and lots of water. She was sure she looked horrid, certainly she felt that way. She felt weaker than when she took a big hit from a battle. Never having children again, she told herself.
After an hour or so she arrived at her camp and there was still smoke, but her men seemed to put the large fire out. Her hair was wild and frizzy, her face flushed and body slightly dehydrated. She rode through the burned camp slowly and saw most of her men had stayed, some had gone and some had perished in fighting or perhaps couldn't get out in time from the roaring flames.
Some of the men saw Xena riding on a black horse through the camp and they stood up awaiting for her to come closer to them. Finally she came to them and she sighed loudly.
"We need to leave this place," she managed to say, apparent that she was very tired from the sound of her voice.
They nodded and one of the men spoke up, "Talius fled with some of the other soldiers, Xena."
She nodded and smiled tiredly, "of course he did. That coward, just take everything that is left here. We will go to the East, far from Rome," she spat on the floor and took the reins of the horse slowly trotting off. Suddenly she felt something warm between her legs and her fingers grazed her thighs –blood. Her eyes widened and she really wished she hadn't sent Tamara away with Borias, she was not so strong by herself, she began to tell herself.
Malak saw that Xena had halted and was staring intently at her hand, "Xena, are you alright?" he asked and saw her hand was covered in blood.
Xena felt her eyes becoming very heavy and her vision slightly blurred. She looked at Malak and blinked rapidly trying to focus her eyes, but it seemed to only get worse. Her mouth agape but no words to speak of. Suddenly her body was limp and she fell off the horse streaming unconsciousness. Malak grabbed her body before she was able to hit the ground. He touched her face, slapping her cheeks but she did not even stir, not even once. Panicking he searched her body for any cuts or gashes to see where the blood came from. He lifted up her tunic slightly and saw no gash on her sides or arms or her legs. Baffled he then saw her thighs were drenched with warm blood.
One of the soldiers saw that Malak was holding Xena on the ground and came rushing over as soon as he dropped off the weapons to a nearby wagon.
"What's wrong with her?" he knelt down and saw she was definitely passed out.
Malak was starting to feel very confused and yet disgusted at the same time. He had her blood on his hands and he cringed. "she's bleeding, she needs a woman to deal with this."
Kyle looked to see where she was bleeding and he understood. He stood up and looked around to see if he could find Tamara but she wasn't anywhere to be found. "What do we do now, chief?"
"Go find a woman somewhere, I don't know!" he picked Xena up in his arms and carried her to the weaponry wagon and lay her down in the back moving some weapons aside.
Kyle ran into the city and found many women but he didn't know who to choose. He finally saw a woman who looked like she knew how to handle this sort of thing. A brunette with dark brown eyes with a veil on her head was picking some herbs from a merchant and he approached her.
"ma'am can you come with me?" he asked kindly as he could.
She frowned, "who are you? You're not a Roman," she continued picking herbs then paid the merchant and carried her basket with her going back to her villa in the city.
"I really need your help, my commander is hurt...I mean...she's bleeding a lot," he didn't know how else to explain this situation.
The woman eyed him, "your commander is a woman?" she smiled. Good, finally someone other than a man was taking charge of the male population. Although she looked into the young man's eyes and saw concern for his commander. "Why do you need my help? Can't you fix her?" she walked onward and he stopped in front of her.
He cleared his throat, "just please come with me, I am sure that she will pay you a reasonable sum for saving her life."
She was weary of this man, why does he need her so badly. She sighed, "just let me tell my husband then."
He grabbed her arm, "there really isn't time for that, ma'am. You see, she's bleeding um," he felt so awkward having this conversation with a woman right now.
The woman smiled and now understood, "I'm no midwife you know."
His eyes widened, "no she doesn't have any children!" he exclaimed.
Now she was surely confused. She looked to her villa in the distance and then sighed, "fine I will go with you. Take me to her."
For this Kyle was grateful that he didn't have to go into detail about this and so he lead the way and she followed behind him. He was rather in a hurry and the woman saw the burned camp. She had heard what happened to some woman and her army. Caesar had burned her camp, she never liked Caesar or his family. Kyle brought her to a wagon and she saw a rather tall, slim woman with dark hair laying in the back of the cart. The woman climbed into the cart and saw exactly what the man meant.
Malak stood outside of the cart, "can you help her or not, woman?" he barked.
The brunette frowned, "I will need some cloths, can you manage that?" she said with a sassy attitude but the men quickly grabbed anything they could find. Kyle ripped part of his pants off and gave it to the woman. Luckily she had a basket of herbs with her and she grabbed two bags of different herbs and placed them in her hands and used her spit to bind them together.
She looked behind them, "do one of you have a knife or something of the sort?"
Kyle grabbed his dagger in his boot and gave it to the woman. She took it and then stared at him, "I am going to need some privacy here," she smiled and both of them didn't argue and immediately turned around. The brunette cut Xena's pants carefully with the dagger. Yes she could definitely see the young man's concern but she checked Xena's body and was a bit baffled. She figured that the woman had just given birth and took to traveling much too quickly, stupid decision she shook her head.
About half an hour later she was done dressing Xena and had managed to stop the bleeding. She covered her body with the remaining of her pants. She saw that Xena was breathing more steadily now and even saw some color in the woman's cheeks again. The woman jumped out of the wagon and saw the two men waiting off in a corner somewhere. They seemed to have everything packed up and looked like they were going to flea somewhere with this commander woman of theirs.
"Well, she'll be alright, but she won't be able to walk around for a few days, just tell her that." The woman said.
Kyle and Malak looked to the young woman and nodded, "thank you for doing that..we uh, don't have any experience in that kind of...stuff." Malak said.
The woman smiled, "no worries," she started to walk away and Kyle caught up to her.
"Wait don't you want your money? I'm sure when Xena wakes up she will pay you greatly."
The brunette smiled and shook her head, "I don't want your commander's money, besides I need to return home."
"Are you sure?" Kyle asked confused as to why this woman didn't want anything in return.
The woman simply smiled and left not saying another word. She walked back alone to the inner city.
Malak looked to Xena and saw that she was still resting but didn't look as peaked as she did awhile ago.
"We need to leave soon even if Xena isn't commanding us at the moment. She said we move East, so when she wakes up we'll be on our way, got it?" he told Kyle.
The young soldier nodded and gathered up the remaining of Xena's army. Roughly three hundred men were still there and then they went on with their journey to the East far away from Rome.
The brunette woman returned home and it was close to dusk now. She set the basket of herbs down on the kitchen table and took off her veil hanging it on a chair. She began washing her hands and her husband appeared at the entrance and saw blood on his wife's hands.
"What's happened?" he grabbed her hand and looked worried.
She snatched her hand away and continued washing her hands in the water basin. "Nothing, I'm not hurt don't worry. Something very strange happened to me today." She dried her hands with a cloth and set out two plates on the table, getting ready to prepare dinner.
He smiled, "oh yeah, what's that? It must be strange because your hands were stained with blood, certainly not yours as I don't see any wounds," he scanned her body.
She smiled and started cutting up some vegetables, "some young soldier came up to me and asked me to save a woman's life. She was bleeding profusely and obviously he didn't know what to do. When I got there, it was so strange," she stopped cutting the vegetables and stared at her husband.
"...what was so strange?"
"Well, it was apparent that she had just given birth. Maybe a day or two before I came to her, although there was no child with her or anywhere for that matter." She sighed, "anyway I helped her and so now I am here. That soldier insisted that I take her money but I didn't want it."
Her husband smirked, "wow so kind of you. What kind of a woman has money anyway?" he saw his wife's expression and he laughed, "I mean...you know what I mean. You said a soldier came to you?"
She nodded, "yeah he told me his commander needed my help," she shrugged.
He was very confused now, "a commander? His commander was a woman?"
His wife nodded again, "yes? I've never seen her before. Quite beautiful though, she had long black hair, olive skin and was quite tall. I think that was the woman's camp that Caesar burned down a few days ago." She said casually.
"do you remember if he said her name? the soldier, I meant," he was curious now.
She crinkled her nose in thought, "Oh yes, he said her name was Xena."
The husband's face went pale and then he started to become angry. She was here in his territory and he didn't even know. Caesar didn't release too much except he got rid of some problem of his a few days ago with a blazing fire. He knew that as he could see it from the city's square at night. He then slammed his fist against the wall startling his wife.
She jumped back and frowned, "what in Gaia's name is the matter with you?"
He groaned and then left the kitchen and went outside leaving his wife to attend to dinner by herself. He sat on the steps of his villa in the dark and watched as people were still out and about. He stared at the ground and shook his head. He looked at the exit of the city and wondered where she was going now. He was sure that she and her army were long gone by now. Xena, why do you get yourself into these things? He threw a rock on the ground and ran his fingers through his dark thick hair. He didn't really like to talk about his past with anyone and never even mentioned his family to his wife even though they had been married for three years now.
Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and his wife sat next to him on the steps. She rubbed his arm gently, "what's wrong? You seemed distressed when I said her name...do you know her?"
Sighing he nodded, "she's my sister, my little sister actually. We're five years apart."
His wife was rather shocked. She had no idea who Xena was and especially didn't know that Toris had a sister. She was intrigued now, very intrigued. She didn't know what to say so she stayed quiet waiting for her husband to say something more.
He shook his head and began to laugh, "Xena..by the gods..." he turned to his wife, "she had a baby you said?"
She nodded, "yes, two or three days ago, like I said."
Toris grabbed his wife's hands tightly and stared directly into her eyes, "tell no one about this, understand?"
Xena woke up the following day and saw she was in a weapons wagon. She groaned as she was still weak but she was alive. There was no blood anymore she checked. Slowly getting up to a sitting position she frowned, "stop, immediately!" she yelled making sure the horseman heard her. The wagon abruptly stopped and she opened the flaps of the wagon and saw a slew of her men staring at her as she was finally awake.
Malak smiled as he was riding on a giant brown horse. "you're awake, we didn't think you'd wake up."
"Where are we?" Xena asked looking around at the forest.
"We're going East like you told us to," he said with a firm voice.
She nodded and winced trying to move further out of the wagon to survey the area.
"The woman instructed us to tell you that you shouldn't walk for a couple of days," he added on as he saw she was trying to get out of the cart by herself.
Xena frowned, "what woman?"
Malak stuttered, "uh, the woman..she saved you..you bled a lot," he said in a quiet voice.
Xena suddenly remembered, but although she never saw the woman's face or even recalled those memories as they were soon forgotten when they reached Persia at that time. She jolted out of bed and grabbed her cloak and put it around her body, draping the hood over head. She grabbed her scimitar before leaving. There she stalked Phraates's camp in the shadows barefoot and watched every one of the men move about, drinking and having a good time. She crept behind each tent desperately looking for her brother amongst the men. She figured that since he was Phraates's general that he wouldn't be far from the royal tent.
She saw a tent close to Phraates's tent and a candle was lit. she recognized the silhouette of her brother. His thick short hair very obvious even in candle light. She crept silently crouching down like a snake and held her scimitar close to her watching to see if anyone was around.
Gabrielle couldn't sleep and she kept thinking of Xena and what she could be hiding. Groaning she sat up on the animal pelts and threw the blankets aside, and put her boots on. She needed to talk to Xena right now. Also, she didn't really know what the plan was for tomorrow. She was kept in the dark and that was something she didn't like about Xena. She was frightening sometimes, but also very cryptic. Coming out of her tent she saw the guards were having wine but still on the lookout. They saw her and became serious.
"I have to go to the bathroom," she smiled and they waved their hands dismissing her lie. She quickly went to Xena's tent and opened one of the flaps hoping that she'd be awake. "Xena...I need to speak with you..." she whispered, but alas no answer. Perhaps she was asleep? She peeked inside the tent but Xena wasn't there. The candles were still lit but she was nowhere in sight. Her boots were still on the floor, but Gabrielle noticed something missing on her weapon's rack. The scimitar, she made note of that weapon the moment she saw it. she sighed and then exited the tent. She's on a mission, a mission to kill. She knew that her brother had really gotten to her, but she didn't want Xena to kill her brother for some petty information.
Xena opened the tent's flaps and let out a loud cry startling her brother and he backed up grabbing his sword. She kicked his sword out of his hand and pushed him onto the bed and got on top of him revealing her face hidden beneath the cloak's hood.
"thought you had enough of me, did you?" Xena hissed and held the scimitar up his throat.
"you really should get off of me, Xena, before someone comes in here!" Toris yelled at her but that only made her angrier.
Toris managed to loosen Xena's grip on her weapon and he threw it aside. Xena snarled and then set her hands on his throat cutting off the air in his windpipe. He placed his hands on her neck as well, both tightening their grips the longer they stared at each other.
"Xena...don't do this," Toris coughed as her grip tightened even more. He was holding back on her but he figured that she noticed this and that made her even more pissed off than she already was.
Gabrielle wondered the camp silently and away from prying eyes until she saw a tent close to the emperor's tent. She saw two shadows, someone on top of someone and obviously choking them. She gasped and ran to the tent instantly thinking that Xena was set on killing her brother.
"Tell me how you know...and I shall let you live, brother!" Xena spat out as Toris's hands were still wrapped around her neck.
Gabrielle entered the tent and saw Xena on top of her own brother choking him to death. "Xena!" she yelled out and grabbed the scimitar that was laying on the floor.
Xena's thoughts were interrupted by that wretched blonde again. She continued onward and smiled as she saw her brother's life fading before her eyes, although she wanted him alive, she needed to know how he knew. That woman had something to do with it, she knew it had to be that woman, whoever she was.
"Xena, don't do it, whatever information he has probably holds no meaning," Gabrielle pleaded in a very serious tone but Xena did not stop or listen to her this time. She huffed and then came to the side of the bed and held the scimitar towards Xena.
Xena's eyes peered over and saw Gabrielle holding her sword at her. She frowned, "are you stupid, girl?!" this distracted her enough to lighten her grip and Toris kicked Xena off the bed and she tumbled onto the floor. He got off the bed holding his throat and stood to the side of Gabrielle.
"She's going to kill you," Toris said to Gabrielle.
The blonde smiled, "no she won't, we already crossed that road once before. She had plenty of chances to kill me."
Toris raised an eyebrow at this. What kind of scribe was this? She knew how to hold a sword that's for sure. Strange woman, he noted. He saw Xena get off the floor in a fit of rage and she stared directly at Gabrielle.
"why do you care what happens to him?" Xena asked Gabrielle, rubbing her throat.
"I don't," she responded in a cold voice.
Xena started laughing, "well then...tell more of your philosophical thoughts, Gabrielle." She mocked.
Gabrielle smiled still holding the scimitar towards Xena a few feet away. "I care about your soul."
The conqueror woman was simply shocked at this woman so she smiled devilishly, "you care of my soul? Yet I burned your village, took your family away from you and stole your childhood from you. Wow, such a compassionate human being you are."
Toris didn't want to see this girl die at the hands of Xena. He knew that she was ruthless and would stop at nothing. He would have to tell her but he needed to stop this right now. He stepped in between Xena and Gabrielle.
"This is between me and Xena, not you, Gabrielle," he eyed his sister and saw a smile on her lips, an evil smile.
Gabrielle didn't put the sword down and stared directly into Xena's eyes. "you and I are not so different, Xena." Gabrielle said.
Xena folded her arms, still in defense mode just in case, she smiled mockingly, "is that so? Enlighten me with your profound wisdom."
"Perhaps you ladies need a room," Toris added still not sure what Xena was planning to do.
Xena frowned at her brother, "shut up, Toris. I'm not finished with you yet!"
"you made me, Xena, you shaped who I am today. For that I thank you. We're all gonna die eventually, but your brother doesn't deserve to die. It won't make you feel better."
Xena was growing irate with this woman talking to her like this. "You got one part right...we all die eventually...some deaths come sooner than others," she licked her lips staring at her blonde scribe. She started walking towards her and then Toris stopped her.
"Xena, that's enough. I will tell you, as long as you spare her life, she's good to you...too bad she chose an evil bitch to follow," he eyed Gabrielle but she smirked as she held the scimitar in her hands.
Xena nodded and then looked at Gabrielle, "fine, but you need to leave. I shall deal with you later."
Gabrielle threw the sword onto the bed and left slowly from the tent and waited outside until Xena was done. Privacy was something that Xena wasn't used to she was sure of that, but she deserved as much...maybe.
Toris sighed and looked at his sister and he felt that he should be on the defensive mode with her but Xena seemed to be more calm now.
"so...how did you know?" Xena asked quietly making sure no prying ears were listening.
Her elder brother shrugged, "look, nobody told me and I kept it to myself all these years."
That seemed to make her feel better that her brother did that for her. He didn't have to do that.
"My wife told me she saved a woman who was bleeding a lot, she soon told me that it was you she saved. By the time she returned home, I was sure you were gone by then," he said and sat on his bed staring at her.
Xena nodded. So her inclination about the woman was right, she did have something to do with this tiff between her and Toris. "so where is she now? Your wife..."
Toris stood up and grabbed his shirt slipping it over his head, "she died two years ago."
Xena frowned at this, "oh..."
He dismissed it as he had gotten over it for awhile now, even though he did miss his wife dearly. They were never able to have children and he thought of Xena and her child for many years after that day. He often wondered why she did not appear to have any child of hers standing with her, perhaps the child died? He wanted to know, but feared that'd be too much ask. Although he could have outted her in front of Phraates as well as destroyed her reputation in her empire. She obviously hid this from everyone, he realized this.
"what did you do with the baby, Xena?" he asked fearful of her reaction.
Xena's eyes lit up and she frowned wishing not to talk about this, not with her brother. It was painful enough to see Solan after fifteen years. She should really kill of all her past encounters so she wouldn't have to be reminded of them anymore or run into them either.
"I gave him away, that's all you need to know," she turned to leave and before exiting she turned her head slightly over her shoulder. "Thank you for telling me and...sorry about your wife," she opened the flap and left. Before she left Toris gave her the sword back as well.
Xena saw Gabrielle standing outside of the tent and she rolled her eyes. "Not now Aristotle I haven't time for you, unless you want to die," she held the sword close to the blonde.
Gabrielle touched the point of Xena's sword and lowered it, "you shouldn't kill me. You need me, I'm your scribe."
"You're just a slave. I can find better scribes than you," she scoffed and started walking back to her tent.
"Then kill me," Gabrielle stated and Xena halted. "you can't can you?"
Xena turned around and grabbed Gabrielle by the arm pulling her aside into the shadows. It was very dark and they could barely see each other's silhouettes but Xena's was very obvious. Her sword gleamed in the darkness, the moonlight reflecting off the blade.
"You like the dark, Gabrielle?" she circled the blonde watching her every move. Her eyes were very well trained for darkness.
Gabrielle felt her eyes roaming around trying to hear the sound of Xena's footsteps but she was very good, too good. She couldn't hear anything but the sound of occasional voice.
"Listen to the sound of nothingness. Isn't it quite unsettling? You hear the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears...coming so loudly that all your surroundings become enhanced. Your sense of smell becomes one like a wolf, your ears like a cat, your eyes...like a bat." Her words hissed in the night as she continued to circle Gabrielle at a far enough distance. She saw Gabrielle turning her head from side to side trying to figure out where she was, but failed.
Gabrielle felt her breathing becoming heavier the more she looked around. She didn't see Xena anywhere which was now making her nervous. "Is this how you stalk your prey?" she called out into the wilderness. They were far enough from camp to where nobody would hear her even if she yelled.
"you mentioned you cared for my soul..now why would a poor girl like you care for my soul of all people?" her voice becoming softer, more menacing.
Gabrielle looked around and saw nothing. She steadied herself, "you're filled with hate Xena. You have a cycle of hatred that will follow you until death."
Xena laughed, "many people have tried to kill me. I always win."
"is that all life is to you? Winning? You haven't tried to understand life at all...you simply go through the motions. Your life isn't a life, Xena. It's a nightmare."
Xena finally appeared and came behind Gabrielle and held her close to her body with her sword at her neck. "Have you listened to yourself talk? You think that I care for other's lives? I certainly don't care for yours." She smiled.
Gabrielle saw the blade and the moonlight's reflection revealed Xena behind her and a grand smile was planted on her face.
"you seem to care enough to listen to what I have to say," she boldly said.
Xena laughed and then held the sword closer to Gabrielle's throat.
Gabrielle backed up a bit and felt Xena's warm body against her, making her even more nervous than she already was. "When I said you murdered children...you seemed troubled by it..." she tried to distract the woman.
"Not troubled, Gabrielle. You merely spat lies about me. I do not murder children, never have and never will."
Gabrielle smiled, "if you were a such a horrible tyrant that your brother claims you to be...wouldn't you slaughter women and children as well? It seems you are not such a tyrant after all."
Xena released Gabrielle and threw her onto the ground. Her breath was noticeable as the air was very cold and rigid. Gabrielle saw Xena's dark silhouette standing in front of her as she stood in direct moonlight.
Xena couldn't fathom the words from this girl's tongue. Why was so keen on talking to her like this? She would never understand. "Why aren't you afraid to die?" she asked.
Gabrielle stared at the dark figure before her, "most people think of death as the end, when in fact, death can be the beginning."
Xena watched Gabrielle as she stayed on the cold ground staring at her. She could see her stern expression but her face was ever so soft. This girl had been through so much in her short life, considerably younger than Xena was, but still, she'd been through a lot. Xena was known throughout the world as a destroyer of nations, and according to Toris, a tyrant as well as a murderer. Xena knew who she was and knew how she came to be like this but the more Gabrielle spoke the more she started to question her abilities to kill, her will to kill. Her will had been blinded by this blonde warrior woman and she didn't know how to take it all. Xena used to relish in the fear that she posed on her people in her empire but staring at a defenseless woman before her, with no weapons. She wouldn't kill a woman, she told herself this, she promised herself this, but this woman made her want to kill her. She had many opportunities to get rid of her for good, but then she'd go back on her word. Has her word meant nothing all those years of battles and wars? Had she built an empire on a lie? Children died because of her, maybe not by her sword, but her spitefulness and lack of communication. She remembered when Gabrielle told her of the poverty of children in her empire near the Thracian territories. Xena was from there...she once was a child, she had –has a child of her own.
She was becoming so engrossed with power that she began to stop thinking of her people. She never really cared much for them as long as they paid her the taxes she wanted everything was fine, but was that enough? Obviously not if children were dying because of her. Families dying and living in poverty while she lives in a palace. The longer she stared at Gabrielle the more angry she became at herself for even listening to this woman in the first place. Now that she was in Persia she had to deal with two male royal figures, both of which she did not really care for. Phraates betrayed her and allied with Marc Antony. She had met him once and never liked him anyway, but the fact that he was friends with her allied partner, meant that she needed to do something about it. War was needed and the question was...who was going to back her? She had thousands of men at her will in her army that would die for her, yet she stands here talking to Gabrielle... a slave, a Roman slave no less. If she lost the Persian territories then all might be lost to her and her empire would dwindle away along with her dignity.
Xena's thoughts were racing through her mind the longer she stared at Gabrielle. She had no desire to kill her anymore, but she still didn't like the sight of her. The woman made her think and that was always a poor idea. If she went to war with Persia and Rome then she might not win, she had thought of this scenario before. She always wanted to win but win her way, perhaps she would have to win another way.
She held her hand out for Gabrielle and this surprised the blonde scribe. Gabrielle took Xena's hand and was gradually helped up off the cold ground.
Gabrielle was fearful of what Xena was going to do next so she stayed standing in front of the tall woman waiting in the darkness. She was able to see that Xena's eyes were soft, not hardened like usual.
"The children you mentioned in my empire..." Xena said quietly. "you say they starve because of their poor living conditions."
The blonde nodded, not wishing to utter another word for once in her life.
"Perhaps...that shall change in the foreseeing future."
Gabrielle smiled at Xena, she did listen to her after all. Children seemed to be her weak spot.
Xena smiled in return. A warm smile.
