A/N: Firstly, I'm so sorry! Can't believe it's been a month since my last chapter. Life in general has been seriously busy which has meant very little spare time to write, even though this chapter has been floating around inside my head the entire time.

Thank you to everyone out there who's still on board with me for this Bo/Lo journey! Keep the reviews coming, good or bad, I read them all and think about everything you have to say. There were mixed reactions to the Bo and Kenzi situation. For those reviewers who don't like the fact that there is trouble in friendship paradise for those two, sorry, but I often feel like Kenzi needs to be called out on her shit more on Lost Girl. That's what Bo's doing here, the sky is not falling, the friendship is far from over, friendships like the one they have are never over. Bo is simply calling Kenzi out on her shit. But don't worry, the trauma's almost over.

Secondly, a warning this chapter is super long. I could have split it, but I just didn't have the heart to. There's a little bit of everything ahead, hope you enjoy it. It's a little bit different and open to interpretation I guess, so let me know what you think?

Special mention to Estrelinhas: thank you so much for the review you posted, it absolutely made my day! Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 12 - Such is life

Camp Chipewa Climbing Wall, 11:00am

'Sticky, sweet and delicious'. Those would be the three words i'd use to describe life at this particular moment in time. It could be the fact that i'm in love with an amazing woman who is currently stretched out opposite me wearing nothing but an almost non existent, black string bikini, biting on her bottom lip while her toes are trying to not so subtly make love to mine OR it could be the perfect, sugary, frozen strawberry iceblock i'm currently trying not very successfully to keep from melting all over me. Either way, life is fabulous!

I looked up and across at Bo, meeting her smouldering gaze head on. "I find it a little strange, considering that you are supposedly terrified of heights, that being perched up here, at the top of the climbing wall is not causing you any adverse reaction".

If anything, Bo seemed to burn hotter at my words, popping her luscious bottom lip out from between her teeth before responding. "Adverse reaction? Lauren, i'm in a five by five, open wooden box, granted it's high off the damn ground, but the sun is shining and you're wearing nothing but two tiny pieces of flimsy material. How could I possibly have any type of adverse reaction? To top it all off..." Bo was stalking towards me now on hands and knees, stopping only once our legs were scissored together and her lips and tongue were travelling the irratic lines of melted goodness from my chest to my mouth. "Mmmmmm you taste incredible". Her kiss was soft and insistent and I found those three words coming to the front of my mind again 'sticky, sweet and delicious' - it was definately Bo!

I was lost with the rolling of our tongues and only just felt the iceblock being taken from my hand. Bo had used the art of distraction perfectly, proving to be a worthy thief indeed. I jumped in surprise at the coolness of the icy treat being used to draw patterns on my chest, in between my breasts and down my stomach before a warm, wet tongue erased the mess with precision.

"I really REALLY like sunbaking with you". The words left Bo's mouth just before it wrapped around the top of the iceblock, biting off a chunk and clearly enjoying the texture and taste of it. I marvelled at the heat and want such a simple motion could ignite within me and found Bo's mouth was now the centre of my universe and begging to be kissed. It was nice to feel free of fear or apprehension while moving forward to receive the frozen chunk willingly into my own mouth.

"Ahh yes, sunbaking! That's completely the reason I asked you to meet me up here". My faked innocence did not go unnoticed, but it most certainly was forgiven. I moved my lips back to Bo's, nipping at hers playfully and beating her at her own game with ease, removing the iceblock from her hand this time, biting off some more and offering it up. Bo accepted my gift with a smile, the combination of her lips and the sweet strawberry flavour driving me crazy in the best possible way.

"I'm starting to suspect you may have invited me up here with not so innocent intentions Ms. Lewis". I smiled in between our playful kisses, sitting up a little more and pulling Bo down with my free hand, our bodies fusing together.

"I assure you, my intentions are completely honourable! As I said, we are here to sunbake and as such, I feel it's my duty to ensure we do a thorough job of it". I smiled against Bo's collar bone, amused at my mock seriousness and kissing her while I pulled at the single bow at her back and the one around her neck.

"I've been neglecting my duties because if we stay up here much longer without this coming off..." I couldn't help but stop and admire the now gloriously naked breasts dangling in my face. I swallowed hard, determined to continue playing along. "You will get tan lines. You don't want that, do you?"

Bo only shook her head to signal no while her nipples hardened instantly at the combination of my words and the air hitting her skin. I instinctively sat up, needing to touch but the now forgotten iceblock had almost disappeared into a puddle from the heat of my hand. I left it as is, licking some of the sweetness and then pulling Bo onto my lap so I could taste her properly. Her eyes closed and her head lolled back on her neck slightly as i moved just the tip of my finger to her nipples, tracing around them lightly, only just touching. My intention was to tease, but once the melted confection from my fingers had coated her sensitive buds, I didn't possess the will to do anything other than lick it off.

I felt Bo's legs lock tightly around my back, pulling herself harder against me, the action only spurring me on. I held one hand tight against her back, bringing the other up to cup her mounds, pinching one nipple while I flicked the other with my tongue. I knew how much Bo loved me making love to her breasts, how wet it always made her. God I wanted to touch that wetness so much, to slip into her smooth, velvety sex and get lost until she felt like an extension of myself. But not yet, she could take more and honestly all I wanted to do was give that to her.

"God Lauren, that's so good babe". Her words and her soft sighs of pleasure were music to my ears just like the hands she hand clasped in my hair and the way she was slowly rocking her still covered sex against my belly were fuel, stoking the strong burning fire my heart and soul held for her.

The feelings and urges she could provoke in me, these were what set us apart from anything I had ever felt before. No other lover i'd had could get me from playful to desperate in the blink of an eye, Bo was amazing and that's exactly where I found myself, suddenly desperate for more, for all only she could give me.

It was almost painful to tear my mouth away from her breasts and as soon as I did, I moved to kiss her lips, soft and then hard, using my tongue to gain entrance to her mouth which she granted eagerly, deepening the kiss. I shimmied us around full circle, Bo still clasped in my lap until I guided her gently down onto the towel. I mouthed 'I love you' to her and stopped to kiss her breasts again, then down her ribs and finally just above the line of her bikini bottoms, causing goosebumps to raise on her flesh.

Knowing we didn't have all day up here together, I didn't hesitate in hooking my fingers into the sides of the bottoms and pulling them down inch by inch, admiring the soft, toned legs before taking care to kiss each foot while freeing Bo completely to me.

This time I was the one biting my lip. Bo was still laying on the towel, her hands travelling to her own breasts and teasing lightly as her legs spread wide open for me. There was no hint of shyness, no hint of shame as she looked up at me and her beautiful sex glistened and weeped from arousal.

I marvelled at the first taste, Bo's essence combining with the still lingering strawberry hit. I moved in again, lightly flicking my tongue, savouring all she was giving me at a leisurely pace. I alternated between stroking with my fingers and circling or lapping at her now very pronounced clit, but never moved fast enough or stayed with one motion long enough to allow the orgasm I know she needed.

Bo's hands were in my hair, trying desperately to guide me as her hips began to raise and press harder against my mouth but I held firm, pushing her gently back down to lay flat, controlling the movements and ensuring I dictated the pace.

"Yo, yo Lo! What's doin up there?" I froze immediately at Kenzi's voice blaring over the portable radio. Bo raised her head up to look at me and I could see clearly the fire and need in her eyes. "Please, i'm begging you. I need you so much, i'm so close. Please don't stop". I dove straight back in and immediately the muscles in Bo's legs started to clench and tremble.

"Lauren, seriously, can you hear me or what? Leah told me you volunteered to do routine gear checks and the rope sort so I know you're up there somewhere. Do you copy?"

I stopped again and Bo collapsed back onto the towel, panting hard and covering her face with both arms. "I'm gonna kill her Lauren! It's like she has a sixth sense. I swear she does this on purpose!"

I went to voice my apology but was stopped with a raised hand from Bo. She looked so beautiful, her chest flushed red and clearly frustrated beyond belief. She didn't speak, just moved to grab at her bikini peices, putting them back on.

"I copy you Kenz. What's up? Where are you?"

"Have a look over the side". I moved to peek over and sure enough, there was Kenzi, hands on hips and a smile plastered on her face. "I was hoping you were finished up there because i've got some free time and wanted to get out on the water, fulfill my promise about teaching you to waterski".

I glanced back down towards Bo who was now dressed in shorts and her waterfront crew shirt. "You should go. It's her way of apologising for the other night with Dyson. Kenzi doesn't actually say the words "i'm sorry", she usually does something nice for you instead. I'm guessing that's what's happening here".

There was a sad little smile on Bo's face. I knew she missed Kenzi like crazy and missed the comfortable and supportive nature of their friendship. Bo had laid it all on the line at the Dal to her as well as Dyson and since then things had remained strained. They were talking again but there was no joking or laughing, no making fun of each other or spending any real time together outside of their bunk for fun.

I was guessing Kenzi was still in shock and reeling from the brutal honesty she had received. Bo for her part had said everything she needed and had wanted to and was now dealing with the aftermath of that, hoping things would move forward and trying to be patient. Everything seemed to be affected by the space that now existed between them. Their campers could sense the rift and were all trying to mend it and even the weather had joined in on the action. The usual blue skies and sunshine of summer had been replaced with storms and rain for three days straight. Today had been the first fine day since and I was hoping it would be the start of a return to that summer sunshine in more ways than one.

"I'm all done with the checks and ropes Kenz. Bo helped me out and we've just been up here sunbaking". I reached my hand down in a motion for Bo to stand up. If these two were both too stubborn to fix things by themselves, it was time to take some action. Bo stood but was reluctant to look over the edge. She gave Kenzi a small smile and a wave. "Hey Kenz".

Kenzi looked between Bo and I suspiciously, a smile almost coming to her face before she deliberately forced it away, raising her eyebrows instead. "Sunbaking...mmmm hmmmm. Whatever, i'm bored, you can both come with or not, what's it gonna be?"

"We're in Kenz. We'll come straight down now". Bo gave me a 'what the hell' look, but I only smiled in response, knowing she really did want to go skiing. I reached my hand out to hers and laced our fingers. "Come on Bo. It will be good to get out on the water after being stuck inside for days".

"Fine, lead the way. Besides, the lake water should be colder than normal because of the rain. I could do with an ice bath right about now!"

"I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise". Bo looked at me and smiled before leaning in close to whisper in my ear "and i'll make sure you keep that promise", leaving me with a soft kiss on my neck.

Camp Chipewa Bunk 10, 2:30pm

I sighed hard at the feeling of hot water cascading down my body, the spray of the shower stinging my skin from the hard pressure. Even in summer, I loved to have extra hot showers and this was no exception. Bo was right, the lake water had been cold from the rain and seemed to have soaked into my bones because I couldn't get warm enough.

Skiing had been so much fun even though I hadn't been successful in standing for long. I had gotten up on my feet a couple of times and I was more than happy with that considering it was only my second attempt. I couldn't help but cringe at the sharp stabbing pains in my stomach as I continued to wash and hope my body would warm up. I couldn't get comfortable, It didn't matter if I was bending over, stretching up or standing as normal, this pain would not seem to go away and it was irritating.

"Damn stomach muscles". I laughed and then cringed again. "Skiing is harder on the body than I thought". I knew complaining to myself would not help in any way, shape or form, but that was my deal. Any type of physical weakness was something I loathed. I hated being injured or sick and I let everyone know that without a doubt, being the worst patient in history. I hated showing weaknesses. I had them, many of them and I could acknowledge them to myself and complain about them to myself, but I would never share them or want people to see them. The only person who I'd ever felt comfortable being fragile or weak around was my mum. She would just love you and care for you to such a degree that it made it impossible to not give in to how you were feeling.

I closed my eyes facing the spray again and letting thoughts of my mum ease the pain in my stomach. I barely registered the door to the bunk opening and closing with a creek, thinking it must be Ciara because the girls were all out at their afternoon sessions. I knew I had to get back up to the Eco Shed this afternoon for my scheduled sessions as well, but I lingered, still trying to chase away the chill from my body.

What I did register with sharp clarity were soft breasts pressed against my back and familiar hands gripping my hips and turning me. "Bo, what the hell are you doing? We can't...". Her lips were on mine, smothering my words with desperate yet sweet kisses. "I love you Lo, so damn much. I don't know what you've done to me. The lake water did nothing to help, I need you".

Bo grabbed my hand, guiding my fingers inside her with ease. God she was so wet and still so ready for me. Suddenly the pain in my stomach subdued and heat replaced the earlier chill. Even with the apprehension I felt at making love here, in the shower, in my bunk, where Ciara or anyone for that matter could walk in at any moment, my fingers moved. Slowly at first, relishing the slick heat enveloping them, and then faster and harder, spurred into action by the enraptured moans coming from Bo, only just muffled by the still fierce spray of the water.

I turned us again guiding Bo's thigh to sit up at my hip and pushed her against the back wall of the shower to gain some leverage. My muscles protested as I squatted a little lower to take the added weight, changing the angle of my thrusts so I could be deeper. I buried my mouth into the hollow of her neck, dropping light kisses as I focussed on Bo's now frantic thrusting and her hot walls contracting around my fingers. "I'm gonna cum so hard for you Lauren". Bo choked the words out before her breathing hitched and then stopped completely, her body rigid as she screamed out her orgasm into the otherwise quiet bunk.

I stayed buried inside her as we both let the adrenalin slowly drift through our bodies. Once that hit was gone, I felt the chill and the pain return and had to close my eyes to centre it all. "Are you ok Lo?" Bo was still breathing heavily but her eyes were soft and immediately full of concern. "Yeah, i'm fine. I think I must have pulled a muscle or something skiing. Are you better now?" Somehow I knew that wasn't quite it, but I wanted to brush the weakness off as soon as possible, push it away, avoid it at all costs.

"Mmmmhmmmm, all better now!"

"I'm glad I could be of service! But that can't happen again Bo". I said the words, I heard them with my very own ears, but I still brought my fingers up to my mouth, sucking them eagerly to taste Bo's desire for me.

The brown eyes I loved so much became darker again, a challenging expression lighting up Bo's entire face. She said nothing else before dropping to her knees and burying her mouth into my sex. It happened so fast my heart almost beat out of my chest, a hot tongue licking my clit, one hand digging into my ass, pulling me closer while the other pushed deep into the pooled wetness I knew was always waiting for Bo. Again the chill and the pain left me and I wondered somewhere deep in my foggy mind how she could do that, chase it all away instantly.

Once again the sound of the bunk door opening and closing just barely registered, but barely was all we needed to stop. "Lauren? Hey, how was skiing? Any ground made with Kenzi and Bo?"

Ciara walked straight into the bathroom area talking to me through the shower curtain. Bo stood up, trying not to laugh at this situation. I gave her a smile and a playful slap thinking that I probably deserved this after leaving her in such a state earlier. "Hey Ciara. Skiing was great, water was freezing though. Mission Bo and Kenzi report; all is neutral, no change". Ciara paused for a while and I wondered what she was doing.

"OK, well, short visit, just wanted to say hi before I have to head back out to lacrosse. You've got bunk duty tonight haven't you?"

"Yep, i'm rostered on tonight over at bunk 20, but i'll see you later this afternoon before dinner". I answered as simply as possible to avoid any questions and hopefully get Ciara back out of the bunk quickly.

"See you later then. You too Bo!" All we could hear was Ciara laughing hysterically until the door closed behind her.

Camp Chipewa outside of Bunk 20, 11:30pm

This was the first time i'd been rostered on to do duty and I was actually kind of loving it. All I had to do was sit outside the bunk and make sure the girls inside weren't too loud and didn't get too out of control! Bunk 20 was a good one though, the girls were 14 and just wanted to play music and talk, which they did ALOT. I smiled thinking of Nicole and I at 14. We were both more into sports and the beach than anything else, making what can be challenging years for parents reasonably easy. Karen was the rebellious child, the one sneaking out her window to meet guys and skipping school to hang out with friends.

I think that was the reason I rebelled so much after Mark. I was always careful and thoughtful yet it proved to count for nothing. I pulled out an envelope sent from Karen and smiled. I hadn't talked to her for a couple of weeks and couldn't wait to hear her voice again. The envelope held a letter as I had been expecting but it also held a smaller envelope which said 'open after reading letter'.

I breezed through the first two pages, just general stories about Mason and what had been happening at home. Then I read the last page slowly and carefully, tears springing to my eyes at the news I was going to be an auntie again. I tore open the little envelope straight away, holding up the tiny ultrasound picture of my little neice or nephew, healthy by all accounts.

I had the urge to call her right now, but I wasn't allowed to leave here until the bunk 20 counsellors returned and that could be anytime between now and curfew. As usual I couldn't help my train of thought returning to the future and I wondered where I would be at the time of the birth. It didn't matter how many scenarios I played out in my head, whichever way you sliced it, if Bo and I wanted to be together, one of us would have to eventually move and that was a huge deal. Was it fair for me to ask her to leave Trick and Kenzi? Was it fair for her to ask me to leave my family and Nicole? It felt so selfish to want to ask that of her, I just didn't think I would ever be able to and I didn't think Bo would either. God my head hurt and again so did my stomach.

I closed up the letter, taking one last long look at the ultrasound photo and smiling before wrapping my arms around myself and resting my head on my knees, closing my eyes. I felt cold still and tried to ignore the painful stabs in my stomach that kept crashing in and then fading like waves. Tomorrow was summer fair and I knew my girls were all really excited to get away from camp for the day and head into town. The fair was held in a big showground with rides and food stalls, old fashioned games like bobbing for apples and those photo booths with different character cutouts so you could poke your head into the holes. I had secretly been wondering how many different food iteams I would see served on a stick. There was corn on the cob, cotton candy, toffee apples and corn dogs.

I could just imagine us all, loaded into the big yellow camp buses, loud songs and overly enthusiastic chants filling up the space and spilling out through the windows. This experience, this time, was like nothing else I had ever seen or done and I was so thankful for every second.

I pushed down a sudden wave of nausea and tightened my arms around myself, willing some kind of sleep the take me over but not having any luck. Now I wished I hadn't forced Bo to spend tonight with Trick because I really just wanted to share the great news about Karen being pregnant with her. She had suggested keeping me company, but I didn't want her to waste the free time she had having to sit here all night.

Another hour passed in a blur of my thoughts until just before 1:00am I was relieved of duty and headed back to my own bunk and finally to bed.

Camp Chipewa Bunk 10, 7:15am

I heard the manic rooster blaring the usual wakeup call and I also vaguely heard the sounds of my bunk coming alive for the day. Ciara was up, spouting directions to the girls in her clear, whimsical voice all of whom were as usual stumbling around in search of shoes.

Through all the sounds and knowing I needed to open my eyes and get up, I just couldn't seem to move. I was trying but every muscle in my body was protesting loudly. I hadn't slept much, the stabbing in my stomach becoming increasingly worse.

"Hey Lo, are you OK?" Ciara was perched half way up the ladder so she could talk to me properly. "You're white as a sheep and I could hear you tossing and turning all night. What's wrong?"

I wanted to describe everything, I really did, but a bigger part of me just wanted to curl up into a ball on this bed and be alone in my misery. "I don't know exactly, but I don't feel good. Can you take the girls up to breakfast solo? I think I just need some extra time, to wake up properly and I'm sure i'll feel better".

"Are you sure?" Truthfully I wasn't sure, but I went with it anyway, forcing a smile to my face quickly and nodding my head, ushering her and the girls out of the bunk. Once I was alone, I clawed at my stomach in aggrevation and took some deep breaths to calm the now heightened nausea. It did nothing and finally I was forced to act, jumping from the bunk onto unsteady legs and stumbling to the toilet, emptying my stomach violently.

I hunched over the bowl of the toilet, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand and moved to sit on the bathroom floor, my back resting against the rough wooden panel wall. I closed my eyes again, unable to move and feeling freezing all of a sudden to the point my teeth were chattering. I saw the sun beaming through the small window just in front of me, but it brought none of its usual warmth or light to me. That's where I stayed, in a haze until I heard faint voices getting stronger. I didn't realise I'd been sitting for that long, I felt like I had only just shut my eyes. I quickly flushed the toilet and sculled some water, my stomach protesting instantly.

The bunk door swung open and I took the little time I had left to centre myself, taking deep breaths. The girls were little whirlwinds, busying themselves with clothes and hair, each giving me a small hug as they passed me in the bathroom area, asking if I was feeling better. I plastered on a smile as best as I could to reassure them, sitting on Ciara's bed wondering where she was and amazed at the pounding in my head.

I didn't have to wonder for long because she was next to enter and to my absolute relief and horror in equal measures Bo was next to her wearing a worried expression when her eyes landed on me. I could hear the girls giggling as Bo attacked me, holding her hand to my forehead and looking intently at every millimetre of my body, searching for god knows what!

"Lauren, what's going on? Why didn't you tell me yesterday if you weren't feeling well?" Bo's brown eyes shone with pure love and worry and for a moment I contemplated diving into her arms, crying and letting her take care of me, but that moment soon passed and the wall I kept tall and strong to block physical weakness from all others, especially those I loved rose up like a skyscraper.

I moved in to hug her, avoiding the kiss I really needed because of the girls around us and what i'm sure would have been an extrememly unattractive taste in my mouth. I instantly felt better just with that little bit of body contact from her, it was enough to get me through what I was about to do. I took a deep breath, inhaling as much of Bo's sweet vanilla and peach scent as I could before moving away, forcing a smile to my face.

"Hey's it's OK, i'm OK, feeling a bit better. You don't have to worry about me". She smiled in return, but still didn't look convinced. "It's my job to worry about you, I love you". She said the words just to me, practically whispering them, but they hit my heart directly. God she was making this so hard.

"I think I just need to sleep and I'll feel better, I just have a headache. I'll give the fair a miss today and head up to the wellness centre so they can check me over. Is that OK Ciara?" I kept my hand in Bo's to reassure her.

"No problems, just take care of yourself. The girls are so excited about rides, candy apples and the fact that the boys from Romanac will be there, so you'll be easily forgiven". Ciara was right, the girls were already out of the bunk, waiting for us down on bottom field.

"I'll stay too. Kenzi will be fine with our girls. Let me help you, take care of you".

"Please Bo, just go. You'll be helping me by going. I'm just going to sleep anyway". The need to vomit again overtook me, but I swallowed it down hard. My body felt so heavy and keeping up this appearance was exhausting. I felt tears spring to my eyes, Bo instantly catching them with her thumbs and wiping them away. I looked at her again and gave it one last effort before I knew i'd crumble.

"I just need to be alone Bo, i'm so sorry. Please, I need you to go, have fun with the girls, spend some time with Kenzi. You need to get things back on track with her. I promise i'll be fine. If I still feel sick this afternoon, you can be my personal nurse then".

To my relief she stepped away slightly, the bait taken. "Fine. But i'm coming straight back here directly from the bus this afternoon and I won't be leaving your side anytime soon after that". I brought her hand up to my mouth, planting a kiss on her knuckles. "I look forward to it. Have fun, I love you".

I genuinely laughed a little as she tripped over one of the girls' beds, too busy wanting to look at me to concentrate on actually getting out the door safely. As soon the door closed behind Bo, I dropped the mask and ran to the toilet again. I knew this was going to be the day from hell and now that I was alone I gave into the pain and went with it.

Camp Chipewa Bunk 10, 2:00pm

I lost count of the times I had thrown up but I knew there was nothing left in my stomach at all. Not even water seemed to stay down for long, but I kept trying to have little sips here and there. The earlier pain in my stomach was now more like extreme cramps but I didn't notice them as much. I didn't notice anything really except for the cold. I was freezing, shivering but sweating. I knew I needed to get to the wellness centre but I couldn't move my body anymore, everything felt heavy and ached. It was a small comfort that the camp was pretty much empty and no one was here to see me like this. I pulled the blanket tighter around me but still couldn't get warm so I decided to have a shower hoping it would make me feel better.

I turned the water as hot as I could stand it, not even bothing to wash, just leaning against the shower wall. I closed my eyes and imagined Bo's body pressed up against mine like it had been only yesterday. Tears came to my eyes again, but this time they were angry. Angry at myself for not just letting her take care of me like I'd really wanted, like I know she too had wanted, for forcing distance when I needed her close.

As the tears ran down my face, I felt the last of my energy leave me and everything seemed white and fuzzy. I felt pins and needles everywhere, my body caving and then blackness and nothing.

When my eyes opened I was standing in a familiar hallway. I blinked a couple of times to get my barings, but I knew exactly where I was. The faint yellow of the walls and the photos of my family and his lining the way to our closed bedroom door. I had stood in this exact spot before and I knew what i'd find when I opened the door, in fact I could already hear the whispering and the start of soft moaning. For some sick reason, I was compelled to move forward and reach out to turn the door knob, sure enough once I did, the image of two bodies writhing together greeted me. I wished beyond reason that I hadn't because instead of Mark and Ness like i'd been expecting, Dyson was right there, Bo's legs spread wide around his back as he pushed hard into her, grunting and slick with sweat.

I wanted so much to look away, but my eyes were stuck on them and all I could hear were the sounds of their bodies slapping against eachother, her nails clawing at his back, urging him closer. Just like that pain returned to me along with the need to vomit. This time it was my heart that felt like it was being stabbed and not my stomach. I took a step back, watching as an arm came across in front of me, slamming the door shut before pulling me against a warm body as I shook violently and sobbed.

"Shhhhh, it's OK, let it out". I dared not look up, too afraid of who or what i'd see next. The arms around me were holding firm, rubbing small circles on my back just like my mum would do and I sunk into the conforting embrace. I could smell fresh herbs, rosemary and something sweet and earthy like summer rain. Finally when I felt strong enough to look up, I gasped loudly before covering my mouth with my hand. In front of me was Ysabeau, Bo's grandmother looking radiant and smiling brightly, a mischevous twinkle in her all too familar eyes.

"Hello Lauren". I shook my head, opening and closing my eyes a couple of times, looking around the now white hallway, doors lining both sides of the walls.

I looked into the deep brown eyes that were identical to Bo's, searching my mind for an explanation of what the hell was happening to me.

"How are you here? Where is here exactly?"

"Always so inquisitive! It's a fine quality indeed and those are two fine questions. To answer the first one, i've been wanting to say hello to you in one way or another for a while now. Then this lovely opportunity became available so I took it eagerly. As for where we are...well I don't know I can really answer that completely. We're somewhere between asleep and awake, but this is your space, not mine".

Before I could answer again, the hallway shifted back to muted yellow, the familar pictures appearing again and the closed door. I shook my head and cringed "please don't open it again, I don't want to see. It hurts too much".

"Yes, the once was enough for me too. You're afraid but it's an irrational fear. She loves you". I couldn't understand how Bo's very dead grandmother could be talking to me, how she could know what I was feeling, but at the same time, I couldn't question her warmth and apparent wisdom.

"I know she loves me, I love her too, so much. But we haven't known each other very long. She deserves better than for me to dredge up the past, but I can't help it. We're going to be separated for a period of time, that much I know and she is the kind of person who craves being close. As much as we love each other, will that be enough to sustain her? I'm so scared it won't and that she'll stray from us, even if she doesn't want to".

The look of disappointment on her face made me want to cry again, but soon disappeared. "So that's your hearts biggest fear? It's OK, like I said, this is your space and I'm a visitor, you can no more control what you fear than who you love. Just don't let that fear cripple something beautiful".

The hallway shifted around us again, only one door remaining in the white space. Before I had a chance to protest, the door was opened and I felt myself being pulled forward. I walked through the door into a beautiful open living space. It was quiet, only the sounds of birds chirping happily outside and the rustling of someone in another room. This space was gorgeous and warm, wooden floors with a large soft leather sofa in the centre of the room, a familar jacket thrown carelessly over the back of it, it was Nicole favourite. My sense of smell kicked in and my mouth watered, wondering what was in the oven.

I moved to pick the jacket up, pulling it against me and only then noticing I was wearing baggy shorts and my favourite riding jersey from home. I looked around more carefully, noticing more photos, my mum and dad, Karen and Mason proudly holding a tiny pink bundle, a small face poking out. Then there were pictures of Trick and Ysabeau, Kenzi and Nicole and even Tamsin, the four of us smiling together. I held the jacket in my hands, gripping it tightly and turning at the sound of clicking footsteps coming from the hall to my right. A little beagle puppy came into view, wagging its tale and jumping up on my legs, begging for some attention. I smiled, scooping it up and admiring it's droopy ears and energetic eyes, receiving a lick on my cheek in response.

"Hey you're home! Sorry, I didn't hear you come in babe". Bo took my breath away, striding over in a pair of boy shorts and that damn pirate shirt and kissing me lightly, giving the little puppy in my arms a pat as well.

"Did you have a good ride? You've been gone for ages, was starting to get worried. Basil was yelping for fifteen minutes after you left, I don't think he understands he can't come with you!"

I didn't know what to say so I just hung on to the puppy tightly staring at Bo to make sure she wouldn't disappear. After a couple of minutes of rustling through the fridge, taking out fruit and yoghurt and starting to chop, she must have noticed I was still mute and put everything down, smiling at me.

"Are you OK? God, are you nervous? I'm a little nervous too, but don't worry, everything will be fine, we've been planning this for months now. Trick loves you, I love your family, they love me of course! So they will all love each other, it's gonna be a love fest!"

I smiled at Bo's nervous rambling but still didn't speak which caused her to cross the space, taking Basil from my hands, putting him down safely and crashing her lips onto mine. Once the shock died down, I deepened the kiss, pulling Bo tightly against me, devouring her. I whimpered when she pulled away, refusing to let her go completely.

She smiled indulgently at me. "Better now? Look I know today is a huge deal, both our families being together in our house for the first time. I'm nervous, but i'm excited too. I actually can't wait for everyone to get here". Bo looked at the jacket still tucked against me and her eyebrows rose up in suspicion. "Is Nicole here?"

I moved the jacket up, holding it between us before answering honestly "I don't know". Bo shook her head lightly, laughing to herself. "Gawd her and Kenz are shockers! They've been sharing clothes so much lately that we don't even know which one of them are crashed out in our spare room! I designate you to go in, last time I did, I sprung Kenzi with a random in what I assume from her very pissed expression was only half time!"

Bo smacked me on the ass playfully, nudging me in the direction of a door on the opposite side of the room. "Go babe! We need to get ready soon, everyone will be here in about 2 hours and I want to shower...with you! Whether it's Nic or Kenz, or both of them in there, tell them to get there asses up and get out here. I don't care how hung over they are, they will be helping with lunch".

I laughed lightly and moved towards the door, opening it wide with a smile. My face instantly fell when I was right back in the white hallway all alone. I'd felt so happy and been surrounded with so much love i'd forgotten everything else momentarily. I turned around and grabbed the door knob, trying to turn it but it wouldn't budge. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I knew Ysabeau would be there when I turned around. "So disappointed to see me again?" I sighed but tried to smile at her anyway. "I want to go back, please open the door".

Her face became serious but still held that all too familar glow about it. "You're truly a beautiful soul Lauren. I have to go soon, she's on her way. But I want to take this opportunity to give you some advice. You see it's easy to have the power of hindsight when you no longer have the boundaries and responsibilities of life. You think too much sometimes. You look at things from every angle. She feels too much sometimes and focusses on nothing but the finish line. You complement each other so much and it makes an old woman very happy to see it". She motioned at the closed door behind me.

"You should never go backwards Lauren. But that's not where that door leads. It wasn't backwards it was forwards".

I looked at her hopefully. "Was that our future?"

Her smiled radiated hope of it's own. "A future that could be or maybe more like your hearts true desire. But that's what I need to tell you. The future is never set in stone, you need to choose it, build it with time and love and patience. It doesn't just suddenly appear, you have to work for it, to earn it".

Ysabeau moved forward, wrapping me in a crushing hug that was so comforting and over all too soon. "Don't think about things so much that you fail to act when it counts. Just love her Lauren. She's almost here, I have to go. It's time to wake up now".

This time when I opened my eyes, the white hallway was gone. I blinked a couple of times and felt all of my body come to life, wishing instantly it hadn't! The pain in my stomach was muted but still there and my head was pounding steadily like a bass drum. I felt warm this time though which was an instant relief. "What a crazy dream".

I was in a bed in an unfamilar room, light was streaming in through an open window. I noticed for the first time I was hooked up to an IV drip, a bag of fluids moving through my system. The door opened and in came Kenzi and Ciara, relief flooding their faces.

"You are in soooooo much trouble Lo! Why the hell didn't you tell us you'd been feeling so sick?" I groaned at Kenzi's voice, making the pounding in my head worse. She looked back at me apologetically, coming to sit at the end of the bed, Ciara followed the action on the opposite side.

"What the hell happened? Where am I?" This time it was Ciara who spoke. "When the fair ended, Bo and I headed straight back to our bunk to check on you. She found you unconscious in the shower. You will be able to fill in the blanks for us, but it was pretty obvious you'd been sick and because of that you were extremely dehydrated. I'm guessing you passed out in the shower and hit your head on the way down".

I nodded, not really saying anything else yet. When Kenzi spoke next, I was thankful she lowered her voice slightly. "They ran some blood tests. You've got a nasty case of food poising, hense the vom fest. You're not the only one, there have been a few other counsellors and a handful of campers sick as well. With the storm over the last few days, the main power went out to some parts of the camp, one being the dining hall and kitchen. Some of the food defrosted, so they cooked it that night, but unfortunately that idea didn't end so well!"

I nodded again, everything made perfect sense now, the way I had been feeling, the cramping, the fever. I thought back to my dream and there was only one thing I needed now. "Where's Bo?".

Just as I'd asked the question, she opened the door and walked in, a worried and apprehensive look on her beautiful face. "I'm right here Lo". Our eyes locked and held as she moved to me, everyone else in the room falling away. I sat up in the bed, wanting to be as close to her as possible, but she stopped just short of reaching me and started to cry. "God i'm so sorry Lauren. I should have been here with you the whole time, I just...". Bo wiped her tears away and suddenly looked angry. "Why didn't you tell me how sick you were feeling? Why didn't you let me stay with you?"

In that moment, I realised how much i'd hurt her and that sense coupled with the dream and how weak I still felt caused matching tears to run down my own face.

"Hey guys, we're just gonna leave you to it! I'm glad you're OK Lauren. We'll see you soon". Kenzi finished talking, but I hadn't even looked at her or Ciara, too caught up in my emotions and Bo.

"Kenz wait!" Bo broke away from my eyes, turning to catch Kenzi just before she slipped through the door. "Thank you for being here when I couldn't. It really means alot to me".

I smiled at Bo's sentiment, hoping this was the breakthrough we'd all been waiting for. "Bo, you're my best friend which means i've always got ya back. I know how hard it is for you to be here. Lauren's my friend too and she's your girl which means i've always got her back too. While we're doing this talking thing, i'm sorry OK! I know i've been an ass and i'm sorry. Can we just be done with this shit now?"

Bo rushed forward and hugged Kenzi so tightly I thought she might pass out as well. "Geez Bo, you're crushing me dude!"

"God i've missed you. Yes we're done with this shit, totally done!" Bo let Kenzi out of her grip and turned back to me, a determined look on her face. "Now get the hell out Kenz, because Lauren and I have some things to discuss".

I could see Kenzi give me a mock smile and a 'you're in the shit' look as she was dragged out the door by Ciara. When Bo came back, she sat close to me on the bed and took my hands in hers, inhaling a deep breath before speaking. "You really scared me Lauren. I don't want to feel like that ever again. Don't ever hide from me. I met your mum and Nicole".

I had kept my eyes plastered to our joined hands, not wanting to see the hurt in Bo's eyes, but I looked up sharply at hearing the last part of the sentence. "What? How did you meet them?"

Bo smiled brightly at me and I was instantly relieved. "Well I didn't technically meet them as such, I spoke to them on the phone. I'm so sorry. After I found you and they called the ambulance, I was so worried and angry. I thought it was just me, that you were pushing me away like you did when we first met. I was angry because I thought we were past that. The camp office called you mum because she's marked as your next of kin in an emergency. Your mum called the hospital direct after that but you were still being treated. Nicole was with you mum and they called back to Chipewa asking for me. Your mum explained to me that ever since you were a little girl you hated being sick because it made you feel weak and that you always just dealt with that better alone".

Bo looked up at me, remembering the conversation warmly. "Your mum is so lovely, it's like she instantly knows what to say to make you feel better. She said to tell you she loves you and to call her when you can". Then I noticed Bo's face change and become almost mystified. "You weren't wrong when you said that Nicole and Kenzi should never be in the same timezone as eachother. She said to tell you that you should just get over it and that you're a pain in the ass. I could tell she wanted to question me, give me the best friend routine, but thankfully your mum was there so she couldn't. She misses you, I could hear it in her voice even though she was trying to hide it. So you weren't just pushing me away?"

I shook my head furiously to emphasise my answer. "No I wasn't. It's just the way I am when i'm sick".

"Nicole is right, you are a pain in the ass. But you're my pain in the ass and that means that even if you don't want me to look after you, you need to give me the option of doing it anyway. Because believe me when I say, i'm the complete opposite to you when i'm sick. I even have a special bell that I used to ring so that Trick or my grandmother would know when I needed anything. I think i'll bring that bell out for you when it's your turn to take care of me". Bo looked me up and down suggestively, instantly heating my body a few extra degrees. "I might even get a white lab coat and a stethoscope so you can really get into your character doctor".

We both laughed lightly for a little while, just enjoying the close proximity. When the room was silent again I noticed a shift in Bo, her eyes looking sad all of a sudden. "Being angry with you wasn't the only reason it was hard for me to be here. My grandmother was a nurse and worked in this hospital for most of her working life. She also died here".

There were unshed tears pooling in Bo's eyes and I instantly pulled her against me, holding on tightly and whispering into her ear. "God, i'm so sorry Bo. You shouldn't be here, i'm fine now, you should go".

Bo looked up at me and rolled her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere Lauren. I'm glad you're here with me. I needed to come here and face the memories sometime, it was just sooner than I thought it would be, but such is life".

I smiled at the reference, in that moment deciding that now was a great time to let Bo look after me a little bit and for me to take care of her in return. "My head's still pretty sore and i'm really tired. Can you stay for a little while and sleep with me? I just need you close".

The second the words were out of my mouth, Bo was wiping her tears away and eagerly pulling back the covers, hopping into the small bed so I could pull her against me. It only took a minute before Bo's breathing slowed and become steady in rhythm, signalling she was asleep. I took a little bit of time just watching her before closing my own eyes. Just as I felt myself starting to drift off I noticed a now familar smell, fresh herbs and all things summer. The thought that my dream may have been something more filled me with a sense of treacherous hope.

END CHAPTER 12

I know it was a long ass chapter, thanks for sticking with it!

It's my birthday tomorrow, 32 here I come! Best present ever would be a review, good or bad I don't mind!