Note: Thanks again for all the reviews! Man, y'all are rough on Calleigh. 😝 I think this chapter might help show where she's coming from. Sorry it's been a little while, but this one is another long one so hopefully that makes up for it a little!


A few weeks later

Calleigh was supposed to be buried in her case papers, reviewing what they'd deemed a murder-suicide in the Glades from several months ago before court in a few days, and yet her eyes kept curiously drifting to Austin across from her at the kitchen table. He was also supposed to be buried in work – math homework, to be exact – and yet he was turning his pencil over in his hands, eyes flickering to her every few seconds.

"Can I ask you a question?" he finally said, and she had the distinct idea this was going to have nothing to do with math.

"Sure." She set her papers down, giving him her full attention, but he only chewed at the inside of his lip.

"Did something happen with you and Eric?" The concern in his young eyes took her by surprise. While she'd known they might notice they weren't spending as much time with him aside from their usual Wednesday routine, she hadn't expected them to pick up on anything like this. "We used to do a bunch of stuff with him and now we see him like once a week."

She couldn't answer his original question without lying, so she evaded, focusing on the latter half of his concerns. "Eric's my friend – our friend – but he has his own life, bud. We've all been busy."

Austin looked disappointed and frustrated, in that way kids had when they knew more than they could really comprehend and an adult refused to acknowledge it. And he took it out on his pencil, nervously tapping it against his half-filled sheet of notebook paper.

"I know you guys still like each other," he finally spit out, dropping the pencil and directly meeting her eyes. "I'm almost 11, I'm not stupid. Also, I saw him kiss you." He looked back at the stairs, making sure he could still hear the faint roar of the shower to ensure Claire wasn't within earshot.

Calleigh's eyes widened and she anxiously tucked a runaway lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "Okay, number 1, I know you're not stupid," she insistently, leaning forward into her forearms on the table "That's why I told you that Eric and I used to date, because I knew that you would understand. But we're just friends now, and sometimes that's really tough because we have old feelings for each other."

Austin pressed his lips together, contemplating her words.

"Number 2...what?" She raised her brows, racking her brain for when he possibly could've seen anything remotely close to a kiss.

"He, like, kissed your head a couple weeks ago…before he left one night." Austin mumbled the last part, picking up that pencil again and turning it over between his fingers, because he knew now that he had to admit to something he kind of shouldn't have been doing.

She knew immediately which night he meant: the last Wednesday he'd stayed late for a drink with her, the very emotional one in which they'd come to the mutual but regretful decision to make things a little more black and white for Austin and Claire. Clearly that was working, she realized sarcastically.

"So you were spying on us?" she asked, a bit peeved but still unable to help the creep of an amused smirk that threatened to tug at the corner of her lips.

"Sorry." Austin's lips tightened nervously. "I didn't mean to, I just woke up and wanted to see what you were doing outside…"

"It's okay," Calleigh assured, sighing out her bit of frustration – mostly because she had even more to explain to him now. "It's like I said...we're friends but we still have feelings for each other, so sometimes it's hard to spend a lot of time together."

Austin nodded, kind of understanding, kind of not. "If you still like each other, why don't you just date again?" And then, in the silence that followed while Calleigh collected her thoughts, he asked, "Is it because of us?"

"No," Calleigh said immediately, brows furrowing in concern as she realized he may have been wondering that all this time. "Absolutely not. Eric and I realized we might want different things a while ago, before you guys were here with me."

Austin's lips tightened in an attempt at a relieved smile as he aimlessly stared down at his homework. And then, in a voice that sounded much older than his almost eleven years, he said, "I just want you to be happy. I can tell that you like him."

Calleigh's eyes softened, a little smile tugging at her lips. "That's really sweet, bud, but I am happy. I have you guys, and Eric and I are still friends."

Sounding much more his age, he added, "But Claire and I like Eric, too, and if you and Eric were boyfriend and girlfriend again, we'd get to do more stuff with him, and maybe he could live here and we could play basketball all the time."

Letting out a soft laugh, Calleigh shook her head at his train of thought, then nodding at his homework. "How about you get back to your math," she suggested. And although he dutifully did as she asked and picked up his pencil again, her eyes lingered on him and she took a deep, steadying breath in.


As Eric made his way past the rows of lockers to the back corner, he unclipped the holster that housed his department-issued handgun at his hip, thankful he didn't have to use it on his last venture into the field today. It had been a little more involved than they'd expected, and MDPD had ended up swarming the house of the suspect that had barricaded himself inside his home with a shotgun at the ready. Eric was more than ready to be done with this day – this week, really – and the sight of Calleigh at her locker both seemed to exacerbate his exhaustion and soothe his heart in typical confusing fashion.

They were friends first and always would be, but they'd been keeping their distance a little. It was the only way to get by without crossing that line they always so easily seemed to tumble over.

Effectively distracted from her task of moving items into her purse, her eyes emotionally clung to him as he came to stand in front of his locker.

"You're back," she said with a little more relief than she should've. But earlier, when she'd heard his voice come through the police line calling for back-up over the boom of shotgun shells, her chest had gotten tight.

"Yeah, quicker than I thought," he answered as he popped his locker open, setting his gun safely atop the shelf. "He gave in...probably something about the SWAT tank and 50 guns pointed directly at him."

Calleigh cracked a little smile. "Might have had something to do with it." And then, a moment later she added, "I'm glad you're okay."

Eric breathed in deeply, knowing that when he met her eyes there was going to be a hell of lot of emotion passing between them. And there was, despite the fact that she was waging a war of her own, trying to press her lips into a casual smile while her eyes gave her away. "Me too."

He swallowed hard, focusing on sliding his jacket over his shoulders. "Saw you're on the board for Sunday…" he said, changing the subject, a bit of a question clinging to his words.

"Yeah." She smiled sadly but a little playfully. "Guess the whole adopting 2 kids thing only got me out of my monthly weekend shift for a couple months..."

Eric smiled back. "Yeah, I guess so. Got big plans for the kids?"

Calleigh's brows immediately knit together and she sighed as she leaned against the row of lockers. "Austin, yes. Claire, no… Austin's going to a friend's house for the day and Claire...I think I'm just gonna get a sitter recommendation from a friend and hope Claire likes her and actually speaks to her." She smiled a little – because she was joking but she also kind of wasn't.

Eric chuckled, growing a little more serious as he offered, "I could hang out with her for the day."

"You don't have to do that," Calleigh assured quickly. "You shouldn't…" she added, having to remind herself. Black and white, right? "I need to establish relationships with some good sitters in the area anyway."

"You sure?" he asked, raising his brows questioningly. "I'm not doing anything and she already speaks to me…"

Calleigh pressed her lips together at that before they curved into a smile. He wasn't wrong...and it would make her feel a lot better to leave Claire with someone she already knew and trusted given that she'd be gone a whole shift. And judging by the pleased smile spreading across his lips, he already knew she was giving in.

"It's the mid-day shift," she said, reminding him it would cut into his evening. "Don't you have dinner with your family?"

"Yeah," he remembered, just now thinking of it himself. "But she could come," he added hesitantly. "There will be kids there for her to play with, and you know my mom is all about taking in extras."

Calleigh laughed softly, nodding along in agreement. Eric had one of those moms who just loved to welcome and feed people, and while they were dating she'd observed a bunch of friends, friends of friends, and random kids at their weekly gatherings. While she had to admit it wouldn't be all that strange, within the context of their past and whatever boundaries they were currently trying to establish, she knew it was not exactly in line with the black-and-white charade they'd been keeping up. And yet she didn't have the heart to say no, especially when she knew Claire would be over the moon about spending her day with Eric and when the thought of leaving Claire with someone she hadn't met had been gnawing at her nerves all week.

Taking a deep breath in, she conceded with a nod. "Okay." And then, tilting her head in that adorable, emotional way she had, she rested her head against the lockers as she held his eyes. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, a little too playfully as his eyes danced over her and a smirk tugged at his lips.


Calleigh couldn't help the flood of memories currently rushing through her mind as she walked up the front steps at the Delko family home. She'd been here at least a couple dozen times, pretty regularly for a while – always met with warm smiles, way more hugs than she was used to, and entirely too many open comments about rings and babies.

She was more than a little nervous about being here now; she'd nearly taken Eric up on his offer to meet her at home. But she hadn't wanted to put an early end to his time here or make him drive to Bal Harbour, and she still had to pick up Austin anyway, and he'd already done her so many favors…so here she was, awkwardly picking Claire up from the family gatherings she used to be a part of.

Standing in front of the screen door, she took in a deep breath before rapping on it and waiting for signs of life inside. But even a minute later, there were none, and between the somewhat cool air and the low hum of laughter and chatter, she realized everyone must be out back. Making her way back down the steps and following the cobblestone path, she found the gate to the literal white picket fence – why wasn't she surprised they had one? – and pulled the latch to let herself in.

As she did, the sight before her made her stop in her tracks and stare for a moment. Claire, who just months ago had barely been speaking to anyone, let alone strangers, and who had taken weeks to even start speaking to and playing with her classmates, was zooming around the backyard in what looked like a pretty intense game of tag with Eric's nieces and nephews. Someone got tagged, and there seemed to be some unspoken break agreed on as all the kids, tired and short of breath, came back to the patio. Claire immediately went to Eric, beaming and breathless, and something tugged at Calleigh's heart a little about the way he attentively shifted forward to speak to her.

Finally moving forward again, she made it about halfway through the yard before Claire spotted her.

"Calleigh!" Claire immediately ran to her, jumping up and wrapping her arms around Calleigh's neck as Calleigh scooped her up in a hug, rocking forward so Claire's legs went between hers. Swinging her back down, Calleigh smiled at Claire's bright eyes, broad smile, mussed French braid, and the remnants of a fudgesicle around her mouth, and knew that letting her come here was absolutely worth whatever awkwardness ensued.

"Looks like you had a good afternoon," Calleigh said, wiping at the dried chocolate on Claire's face to no avail and earning a giggle in response.

Standing fully upright, Calleigh took Claire's hand in hers and led her toward everyone on the patio, her eyes meeting Eric's with an appreciative smile that only grew as she drew closer.

"Calleigh." The still familiar, thick Cuban accent of Eric's mother drew Calleigh's attention away from him. She watched Clorinda's eyes dance between her and Eric questioningly before she threw all hesitation aside and pulled Calleigh into a warm hug. "It's so good to see you."

"Hi, it's good to see you, too," Calleigh said softly, all too aware of the amused smiles on Eric's sisters' faces and the way their eyes immediately questioned him. "Thank you so much for letting her join you today."

"It was our pleasure, she was an angel," Clorinda said as she released her, eyes on Claire as she tried to get Eric's four-year-old nephew back for tagging her again. "She kept the little ones entertained."

Calleigh's eyes followed hers, watching as Claire laughed as she dodged another tag from one of Eric's nieces and then hid behind Eric's chair. Her eyes lingered a little too long, kind of in awe of the way Claire was with the younger kids: playful but gentle, aware that she was bigger and faster. The crazy little thought that followed was one she quickly had to swallow down, but Eric, ever in tune to her, had noticed the look in her eyes as she watched a little too long.

"Have you eaten?" Clorinda asked, the weight of Eric's stare causing Calleigh's eyes to flicker to his, heavy with emotion for just a moment, before she directed them back to his mother. But when she hadn't responded immediately, Clorinda followed up quickly in her normal fashion. "Go make yourself a plate." She nodded toward the kitchen.

It was oddly tempting to stay – awkward but comforting and familiar, all too complicated and yet she still longed to be here a little longer. "Oh, thank you, but I can eat at home – and we have to go pick up Austin."

Clorinda watched her carefully, and Calleigh had the sense that her usual ability to hide her emotions seemed to have a crack in its steely armor that was rendering her a little more defenseless than usual. Eric seemed to do that to her, and she didn't have the emotional capacity to think about what that meant right now.

Clorinda pursed her lips decidedly. "I'll make you a plate for the road," she said, unable to let go of her notorious need to feed and take care of everyone.

Calleigh opened her mouth to object, but Clorinda had already headed for the door and Eric's chuckles permeated the silence that followed.

"Just let the woman feed you," Christina, Eric's oldest sister, teased. "It's what she lives for."

A few minutes later, Eric was walking her out – he'd insisted – and she had a plate of food in hand – his mother had insisted. He couldn't help the hand that had instinctively begun to rest at the small of her back as he led her out. He'd pulled his hand back much more quickly than it had landed there, Claire none the wiser as she walked ahead, his family definitely catching it as they watched them leave.

An awkward silence followed until they made it to her car and Claire had climbed into the backseat and the plate of food was safely rested on the front passenger seat. Calleigh slipped her hands into the front pockets of her dress pants, idly stepping one foot in front of the other and shifting her weight.

"Thank you for today," she said sincerely, meeting his eyes. The sun was dipping towards the horizon as the sun set, and the orange glow had his eyes a light, golden brown.

"It was no problem."

"Seriously," Calleigh said, growing even more serious. "She seems like she had a really good day…" Her eyes trailed off to the fence, where she'd first walked up to find Claire running around with the other kids, and she thought of how gentle she'd been with the younger one, how happy she was with them. When she met Eric's eyes again, he immediately noticed she had that look in her eyes again – part longing, part needing to say something, part completely unsure…

He raised his brows a little expectantly, eyes imploring hers. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" She pressed her lips together, rolling them anxiously.

"You looked like you were about to say something…" he said knowingly, and she couldn't help but smile sadly. He knew her too well.

"I'm sorry," she said honestly, brows furrowing as she tried to shake the odd feeling coursing through her. "I'm just kind of in my head today. It's been a long day." She sighed, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and looking at him hopefully, hoping he understood. It was kind of an excuse and he knew it and she knew it, but she was hoping he wouldn't press her right now.

He nodded quietly, sensing her need for space even though that seemed to be all they were giving each other recently. "You should go get Austin," he said, again reading her mind.

"Yeah." She smiled softly. "Thank you again," she said, resting her head over his forearm before she could think twice – and even when she did, she left it there a moment, both of them smiling sadly at one another. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night."

"You too." He watched her drive off, staying outside a moment to let his heart settle before he walked back into what was sure to be a mild interrogation.

/~/

The kids were tucked away peacefully, her house was the cleanest it had been in weeks, she'd been mentally and physically exhausted all day from her far too short weekend, and yet Calleigh still couldn't seem to settle in for the night. Her mind had been playing the "what if" game far too often lately without her permission, and she kept finding herself halfway between dreams and anxious over reality, longing for answers.

Needing something reassuring, some semblance of something peaceful, she found herself creeping out of her own room in her too-big college t-shirt and pajama shorts and heading down the hall. First she pressed open Austin's cracked door, and once her eyes adjusted to the dark she found him in his signature mess of tangled blankets and haphazardly strewn limbs. His face was turned away from her, but she had no doubt he was completely out.

A smile tugged at her lips and, satisfied and a little reassured by the sight of him happily resting, and she moved on to the next room. Stopping at the door, she took a moment to take in the purple and blue butterfly she'd help Claire affix to the front of her bedroom door. Letting her fingers smooth over the fabric, she marveled at how quickly her house had gone from modern Southern decor with hints of Miami to this: purple butterflies on one door and basketballs on another, kids' shoes scattered god knows where throughout the house. It only served to further remind her how quickly things could change, how uncertain she'd been those first few weeks, suddenly with two kids, and yet how right her heart knew it was.

It wasn't completely unlike now, when she was becoming more and more sure that her heart had more room than she'd thought it ever would, when she was still longing for a little more than she'd thought she'd be longing for.

Slowly pushing the door open further, she rested her head against the door jamb and smiled at the sight of Claire. She was much more neat about her sleeping than her brother, still tucked beneath her purple comforter and turned toward the door, little arms tucked beneath her chin, surrounded by a pile of stuffed animals they'd somehow acquired rather quickly.

Calleigh was just about to close the door before she disrupted her, but Claire's quiet voice stopped her.

"Did you have a bad dream?" it asked, and her heart melted for that little girl all over again.

"Kind of," Calleigh admitted, knowing that the thoughts racing through her mind were far above a seven-year-old's comprehension. But bad dreams she understood. "I just can't get to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

She watched Claire shrug in the dark. "I was kinda awake anyway," she said, rubbing at her eyes. "I had a dream I was flying."

"Well that's a pretty cool dream," Calleigh said as she took a few steps in.

Claire shifted in bed, clearly making room. "Maybe this is a good dream room tonight and you'll have good dreams too if you sleep here."

There went that whole heart melting thing again… "Maybe." Calleigh smiled, slowly lowering herself into the twin bed and tucking her legs into the pastel striped sheets and purple comforter. She propped herself up against pillows and stuffed animals, and Claire snuggled back in next to her.

After a short silence, Claire spoke again. "Eric has a nice family."

Calleigh smiled softly. She'd already been feeling better and the exhaustion was starting to wear on her, but Claire's words stirred something within her again.

"He does," she agreed.

"Do you have a family?" Claire asked, and Calleigh had the brief thought that it wasn't really fair that Claire understood some people didn't. "Like a mom and a dad, or brothers and sisters…"

"I do," Calleigh said hesitantly. "I have a mom and a dad. No brothers or sisters though."

"Where are they?"

"My mom is somewhere in California. She married another guy after my dad. And I'm not really sure where my dad is these days." She watched Claire's brows furrow in the dark and she turned, resting her chin against Calleigh's shoulder. "They're not the best people to be around...they're not like Eric's mom and dad."

"So they're not like you?" Claire asked, and that comparison made Calleigh's heart clench a little.

"No, I guess not," she said, able to at least admit she was nothing like the absent mother and alcoholic father that had been in and out of her entire life.

Claire seemed to think about that for a moment, brows knitting together again until she relaxed, sighing thoughtfully. "I like Eric's family. There's always someone to play with."

Calleigh smiled and rested her head further back against the pillows, letting out a deep breath. This conversation was suddenly doing nothing for her racing mind, instead further igniting what were feeling less and less like crazy thoughts.

"Eric's family is pretty great," Calleigh admitted, one hand idly beginning to smooth through Claire's long brown hair.

And then Claire tilted her head back up, and although Calleigh couldn't see them in the dark she knew that Claire's blue eyes were on her. "So's ours though," she said, and Calleigh was pretty certain she wasn't going to get through this night without her emotions getting the best of her. Definitely not, she decided as happy and emotional tears watered her eyes.

She didn't have any words, so she simply kissed the top of Claire's head and pulled her close, overwhelmed by this feeling and the scent of L'oreal Kids shampoo and the nagging ache that was still in her heart. She loved these kids to the moon and back, and over the past few months she'd felt this strange mix of being close to complete but guilty that she was still missing something. And the more she got to know these kids, the more she realized how amazing it was to watch them grow and develop – and the more she'd started to think she wanted to do it all over again, from the beginning – to witness first steps and words. But she'd been torn because her intention had been to give Austin and Claire all her focus and attention; it was what they deserved. They'd been through so much already. And she didn't want to do anything to detract from the stability and focus she'd promised them. But today, watching Claire with those kids, she'd had the wild thought that going down that road might not detract anything at all. Instead, it might just make everyone's lives a little more full.