Understanding Humans
XII - Beauty (Part I)
"Sam, I think something is wrong with Mikaela."
"Hu? What makes you think so Bee? She seemed fine to me..."
"Haven't you looked at her hands?"
"Sure I have! She's my girlfriend... Uhm, so, what is wrong about her hands?"
"How could you not notice? Her nails are red all over! I've tried to contact ratchet to ask him what human illness might cause such symptoms, but so far he hasn't responded – why are you laughing Sam? This is a serious-"
"Bee, it's just nail polish, no need to worry. Women do paint their nails, it's normal."
"Human females paint their nails?"
"Yep, most woman do that – you haven't come across that one on the net?"
"So far not – but it's certainly interesting; does it have a specific meaning amongst humans?"
"Hu? Uhm... Well, I guess not so much, girls seem to like coloring their nails – it's about being pretty I guess, or getting a man's attention... Dunno..."
"Human females seem to do a lot of things for the appearance of their visible armor parts."
"Oh yeah... I don't get it either, but some of them are really obsessed with make-up and clothes and spa and working out... Wwomen are scary when they think they are 'ugly' – it's like they're on a really bad trip! You should see my mom when she's having a 'Oh I am so ugly' flash - she's behaving like a complete different being... A lot of women do that..."
"Really? That is worrisome... You think Mikaela will become like that too?"
"Geez, Bee, don't scare me like that... God, no, Mikaela's pretty enough for three, she doesn't need that sort of stuff. She won't ever be like that. Never ever."
"But she is painting her nails. And she does dress – uhm, how do you humans call it? - appealing?"
"Bee, there are world between painting your nails and having a good fashion sense, and becoming some anorexic Hilton Blondie with no self respect, or a frustrated middle aged woman wanting a belly tuck for her 40th birthday!"
"What is a Hilton Blondie?"
"You really don't need to know 'bout that Bee, too many people already do... What I'm trying to say is that Mikaela just knows she's gorgeous. She doesn't even need make-up or anything, for she's just – the triple real life WOOW! experience, okay? Painting her nails isn't a sign of self doubt, it's more like underlining her beauty."
"Well, but according to my memory storage, there have at least been 32 times my optics registered traces of paint in Mikaela's facial region Sam..."
"Hu? Really? Wow... I never noticed... You sure?"
"She's your girlfriend Sam, not mine... Shouldn't you be more attentive?"
"I am attentive! Who wouldn't be with a girlfriend like that!"
"Sooo ... what color are Mikaela's eyes?"
"Hu? Common Bee, that's easy! Way too easy – you really want me to answer that? Ha ha, they're ... green. Uhm, right? ... Yes, they are green, definitely!"
"Blue... Sam, her eyes are blue, maybe gray to human optics... I wonder why human females go through all this trouble improve their armor... They must be very patient when men are concerned... Very, very, very patient..."
