Chapter 12 – "Give Me Your Hand"

It felt like Regulus had not seen Remus for years when he set eyes on him at platform 9 3/4 January fourth. He felt a warmth spread in his stomach, a warmth that turned to ice when Davies a moment later stepped up to Remus and kissed him.

"Moony!" yelled Sirius and waved Remus over. To Regulus' immense irritation Noel followed.

"Hello," said Remus, glancing at Regulus, sending him a nervous smile.

Regulus just looked away, hoping that Remus wouldn't talk to him directly. As he turned to pick up his luggage he spotted his father studying their small group with disapproval. Regulus quickly took his trunk and moved away, into the train. He found an empty compartment and settled there, hoping that whoever filled up the other seats wouldn't be too annoying.

Remus appeared in the doorway a few minutes later. "Regulus? I was just wondering if you didn't want to come sit with us instead of maybe Nigel finding you, and I know how much he annoys you. It's just us. James, Peter, me and Sirius, so you would be more than welcome."

"Why aren't you sitting with your boyfriend?"

Remus swallowed a lump. "He's sitting with his friends..." Remus bit his lip and walked in to sit down. "Are... are you mad? You left before I got a chance to talk to you at the platform."

"My parents were watching," mumbled Regulus, deciding to tell part of the truth. "They don't approve of you three. Or any Gryffindor, for that matter. "

"Oh. Right. Well, as long as you didn't get in trouble." Remus smiled and tilted his head. He had missed Regulus and after their letter exchange during the holidays he had thought that maybe Regulus had softened up.

"I'm expected to keep to myself as much as I can in the Tower," said Regulus. "They prefer that I socialise only with Slytherins and Ravenclaws. Well, they prefer the same things from Sirius, but they have given up on him years ago."

"Sounds lonely," said Remus, looking concerned. "Is that how you prefer it? You've been at the school for nearly five years and the only one I have really seen you talk to, apart from Sirius and myself, is Crouch. I don't know... It just seems a little lonely to me."

Regulus shrugged. "I can't act like Sirius. Someone needs to keep at least a bit of the family dignity. It was a very hard blow to my parents when I too was sorted into Gryffindor. I have to be careful not to shame them any further."

"Shame them? You're a model student and a great Quidditch player. How can they be ashamed of you?" Remus looked a little nervous before speaking again. "Do... do you want me to stay away from you? I don't want to get you into trouble with your parents, but I really like talking to you, and when you wrote me back I was really happy."

"No!" said Regulus a little too quickly. "No. You don't have to stay away from me. Of course I can talk to people, but there's no need to act like best pals right in front of my parents. It provokes them."

The door to the compartment slid open and a bushy head popped in. "Where did you go, Moony?"

"What are you, Potter, his nanny?"

"C'mon, Moony," said James, ignoring Regulus. "We've saved you a seat."

Remus eyed Regulus. "You sure you don't want to join us?" He noticed James' disapproving gaze but chose to ignore it.

"No thanks, I'm fine. I'm clearly not wanted," said Regulus drily, shooting James a glare.

Remus sighed as he got up. "If you change your mind you're welcome to drop by."

Regulus sat looking out the window as the last students were saying hurried goodbyes to their parents before getting on the train. As the train set in motion his compartment door slid open again.

"Ah, there you are," said Barty and slumped down in the opposite seat. "Always the loner. How come you didn't write me over the holidays? I wrote and asked if I could come visit but you never responded."

"Oh... I'm sorry. I completely forgot," Regulus lied, "because we had quite the crisis. My brother caused major uproar at a family party. He offended my uncle."

"Really?" said Barty, looking very interested. "I hope he was punished severely."

"He was locked in the basement for a week. I barely got my parents talked into letting him out Christmas Eve."

"Why on earth would you do that? He deserved it, didn't he? What did he insult your uncle with?"

"Something about being evil and supporting the wrong people."

"Wrong people? You mean the Dark Lord?" There was a tone of deep admiration in Barty's voice as he spoke the name. "I think he's brilliant and what he's doing is brilliant. When I'm old enough I want to join his ranks."

Regulus winched and looked at Barty with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"

Regulus knew Barty was fascinated with Voldemort and was spending more and more time with students who did not hide their fascination with the dark arts, such as Avery, Mulciber and Nott. Regulus was not happy about this, both because he didn't like those people and because Voldemort and his whole cause unsettled him.

"You should join too, Regulus. We could join together! Our birthdays are not far apart."

"I don't think so. Some of the things they do are... well, horrific. I mean, I don't like Muggles and Mudbloods and all that, but I don't want to support someone who's killing and torturing them."

"It's for a greater cause," said Barty, a little offended. "You should at least consider it. You will make your family very proud and I bet you want that."

"My family business is my own," said Regulus curtly, turning to look out the window, signalling that the topic was over.

"Well, I'm going to introduce you to some of my mates. I'm sure they can convince you that the Dark Lord is doing the right thing. Just give them a chance." Barty got up from his seat. "We are in the third compartment and you're welcome to join."

As soon as Barty left, a small pack of Hufflepuff girls came in and occupied the empty seats. Regulus mentally rolled his eyes. Great. So he had to sit here with a load of giggling girls?

o0o0o

Remus looked out the window, thinking fondly about how Regulus had told him that he still wanted to talk to him even though his parents disapproved of it.

"Daydreaming there, Moony?" asked Sirius.

"No, I'm just a little tired," Remus lied and gave a fake yawn.

"Been missing Noel, I bet," said James. "I know I've missed my Lily flower terribly. I'm surprised that I've survived two weeks without her, actually."

"I bet she has really missed you too," grinned Sirius, leaning back in his seat. "That's why she didn't answer your letters. I reckon it hurt too much for her to dwell on it. Being without you, I mean."

"She's just playing hard to get," rationalised James. "That's something girls tend to do when they're really interested in a bloke."

"I see. Then what are all the birds always flocking around me? Desperate?" Sirius grinned and winked at Remus and Peter.

"I forgot to say classy birds," added James, looking superior.

"I wouldn't repeat that in front of Chelsea if I were you," said Sirius.

The door slid open and in stepped a moody looking Regulus. "My compartment was invaded by randy Hufflepuffs," he mumbled.

"So what are you doing here? None of your snaky friends wanted to sit with you?" asked Peter in an unusual brave move. However, the glare he received from the younger Gryffindor made him shut up and sink into his seat.

"They kept peeking at me and giggling," continued Regulus as he plopped down next to Remus.

"Of course they did," said Sirius. "You're my brother!"

Regulus snorted. "Even birds chatting me up feeds your ego."

"Why didn't you make something of it? It's about time you start showing some interest in birds. You're almost sixteen."

Regulus snorted again but his insides stirred uncomfortably. How long until it began to seem suspicious that he was not attracted to girls? "Why should I waste my time energy on that? I'm going to marry someone decent after school, anyway. It's unlikely that I will find a suitable bride so soon. And I might as well enjoy my freedom as long as I can. Being married is a drag, I hear."

"That's bollocks, Regulus," said James. "In the late twentieth century people have girl- and boyfriends before they get married, and it doesn't have to be the same one."

"There's nothing wrong with sticking to traditions," mumbled Regulus.

"More bollocks," said Sirius. "Even our family do it nowadays. You know both Cissy and Bella had several boyfriends in school."

"Come on, lads," said Remus, feeling like he had to help Regulus out of a clearly uncomfortable subject. "I'm sure it comes in time. Leave him be."

Regulus found a Quidditch magazine in his rucksack and let Polaris out of his crate. The cat leaped right on top of Peter's lap and hissed menacingly into his face, raising his hackles and flexing his claws.

"C-control your pesky feline, w-will you?" Peter stuttered and leaned as far back in his seat as he possibly could, trying to get his face out of Polaris-range.

Regulus smiled gleefully to himself. Polaris was a smart cat; so much that Regulus suspected him of being part kneazle. He wasn't sure if the cat had actually understood Peter's words to Regulus a little earlier or just sensed that it was something offensive. Either way, he was smart

Polaris hissed once more before jumping down and then onto Remus' lap where he settling, rubbing his head against the boy's hand. Remus scratched the cat behind the ear and Polaris started purring.

"S-stupid cat," mumbled Peter and rubbed the thigh in which Polaris had sunk his claws.

"It's funny how that cat is almost like a barometer reflecting Regulus," speculated James. "The more Regulus dislikes people, the meaner the cat is to them."

"He must really like Remus then," grinned Sirius and nodded at Remus whose face turned slightly pink.

"In fact he must looove Remus," laughed James and made a kissy mouth.

Regulus jumped to his feet so violently that the others all started in their seats. "PUT A SOCK IN IT, POTTER! I do no such thing! I've HAD it with you immature lot!" he yelled and marched out of the compartment, sliding the door shut so violently that the glass shattered.

"Bloody hell!" gasped Peter. "He's gone completely mental!"

"It was just a joke..." said James, looking flabbergasted.

o0o0o

When they got off the train Remus went to find Regulus to give him Polaris, who he had left in their compartment when he stormed out. He found him walking towards the carriages with Barty and two of his friends. The Slytherins gave Remus a scan from head to toe, looking disgusted.

"Um..." Remus said, trying to ignore their piercing eyes. "Here's Polaris..."

"Beat it, faggot," sneered Barty.

"Thank you," mumbled Regulus as he took Polaris' cage. He was caught between the urge to defend Remus and the fear of anyone - especially Remus - suspecting that he fancied him.

One of the other Slytherins tossed a few knuts on the ground. "Here's a tip for your service. Bet you've never had that much money before."

To roars of laughter, Regulus dropped his gaze for a second, feeling more ashamed of himself than he had in a long time.

"What a twat," grinned Barty as he watched Remus retreat. "And he even left the money."

o0o0o

Regulus had cooled down by the next morning and had decided to behave as if nothing had happened. It would only further the suspicion if he started acting crazy around Remus again, so he sat down with the Marauders at the breakfast table.

"Nice of you to join us," said Sirius ladling some porridge onto his plate.

"Nigel is sitting at the far end so this was about the farthest I could sit from him."

"I would have thought you would be able to order him away like a house elf after you saved him from Nott and his friend," said Sirius.

"I don't order house elves around," snapped Regulus. "I ask them nicely and treat them with respect. Unlike certain others. And it just happens that asking nicely isn't something Nigel understands."

Sirius shook his head. "Yes, it's not easy having fans. I know all about that."

o0o0o

Avery, Mulciber and Rosier were walking along one of the corridors, having just left the lunch table when they ran into a lone Hufflepuff student. They stopped and a grin spread across Avery's face.

"Look what we have here," he drawled. "A cute little firstie."

The girl looked up at them, hugging her books to her chest. "H-hello," she mumbled and tried to get past them, but Mulciber blocked her way.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"J-just back to the common room."

"How do you like it here at Hogwarts?" asked Rosier in a fake friendly voice. "A big change from home?"

"It's a lot different from home," said the girl, trying to look as if she wasn't afraid of them.

"What do you think, Evan? A little half-blood?" said Avery. "Are you a half-blood?" he continued, leering at girl.

"N-no. Both my parents are M-muggles," she stuttered, clearly recognising the trouble she was in now.

"A little Mudblood," hissed Rosier.

"Give me your wand," ordered Mulciber, holding out his hand.

The girl did not dare refuse him so she fished out her wand from her pocket and held it out to Mulciber with a shaking hand.

The Slytherin snapped it from her. "You're not worthy of studying magic, so I think I'll just confiscate this."

"N-no," said the girl, looking close to panic. "P-please! Give it back!"

Avery eyed Mulciber and laughed. "You know, I think she wants her wand back," he said, tapping his chin. "Maybe we should let her have it. Or even better – give her a little task to win it back. It's only fair. Let's take a little trip to the lake."

They set off toward the main doors, the girl following at their heels, begging for he wand back. Ignored her, they continued until they reached the lake. There Mulciber tossed the wand onto the ice. "There. If you want it so badly, then go get it. The ice isn't too thin. I think."

Leaving the distressed girl standing by the shore, the Slytherins headed back to the castle, laughing maliciously all the way.

o0o0o

Regulus, who had gone for a walk to clear his head, stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a blood-curdling scream. It came from the lake. He ran to the shore and spotted someone thrashing in the water.

"Who the bloody hell is dumb enough to go out on the ice when it has been thaw for days?" he mumbled to himself.

Well, there was nothing for it. He couldn't just let whoever was out there die in the cold water, so he whipped out his wand and cast a hardening charm on the ice in front of him as he made his way towards the person. It was a girl, he saw as he reached her. A small one, probably a first year.

"Give me your hand," Regulus ordered, getting on his knees at the edge of the hole in the ice.

With chattering teeth and wild eyes, the girl reached for Regulus, but her hand was slippery and stiff from the cold, so when Regulus tried to pull her up he lost his balance and plummeted into the water. A loud gasp escaped him as he felt the ice-cold water nearly paralyse his limbs. There was no time to waste. People froze to death within minutes in icy water, he knew. He took a firm hold of the girl and pushed her onto the ice with all his might. When she was up, he grabbed the edge of the ice to pull himself up, but just as he thought he had managed, something seized him from below and pulled him under. There were more hands grabbing him now and when he looked down he saw them: grindylows. Regulus struggled like mad to pull free but there just came more and more of the little bastards. If only he had had his wand, but it was in the pocket of his cloak, which he had thrown on the ice before helping up the girl. He was starting to panic. He could no longer hold his breath and the grindylows were pulling him farther and farther down. Just as he breathed in water and his vision was going blurry he saw a glimpse of bright light and felt the hands release him.

The next thing Regulus knew, he was lying on the ice, coughing up water. Someone was kneeling next to him, slapping his back and talking to him. Remus. It was Remus' voice. Regulus looked up at him and then spotted James and Peter pulling Sirius up from the water. He must have dived in to save Regulus.

Sirius crawled over to Regulus. "R-R-Reggie, are you ok-k-ay?" he asked through chattering teeth while Remus wrapped his brother in his cloak.

"WHAT ON EARTH -"

They looked up to spot an agitated McGonagall coming running towards them with Slughorn at her heels. There was a small flock of curious students following them. They stopped at the shore while the two professors continued onto the ice, casting hardening charms as they went.

"Professor -" Remus started.

McGonagall cut him off. "Not now, Lupin. We need to get these three to the hospital wing and out of these wet clothes!"

Shivering, the three soaked students got to their feet, helped by Remus, Peter and the teachers. Professor McGonagall wrapped Slughorn's cloak around the Hufflepuff girl and guided her towards the castle, the others following behind. Regulus was shivering violently and still coughing a bit from having swallowed water. He clutched on to Remus as if his life depended on it.

"What on earth were you thinking?" chided McGonagall as they walked. "Explain yourselves!"

"I... I..." the girl started, her teeth chattering. "I l-lost my w-wand and it fell onto the i-i-ice so I went to go g-get it, and then I f-f-fell through."

"It fell on the ice?" asked McGonagall sceptically. "How could it fall on the ice?"

"T-the wind t-took it," sobbed the girl.

o0o0o

Madam Pomfrey met them in the door to the hospital wing, looking horrified as she spotted the three soaked students. "Out of these wet clothes immediately! And put these on," she instructed and produced three sets of pyjamas. "Come now!"

Regulus hurried over to a bed and yanked the curtain shut before anybody could follow him. He was shaking so much it was difficult getting off his wet clothes, which were sticking tightly to his skin, but he would rather have frozen to death than ask for help. Finally he could slip into the pyjamas and climb under the covers, still shaking.

"Drink this," ordered Madam Pomfrey and shoved a smoking goblet under his nose.

Regulus drank it and felt heat explode in his stomach, quickly spreading through the rest of his body.

As soon as Sirius, who had been placed in the next bed, had downed his potion, he looked over at Regulus. "What the hell were you thinking, you bloody idiot?" he barked. "If Remus hadn't spotted you you could have drowned!"

Remus rubbed his arm nervously. "He saved the girl, Sirius."

"He shouldn't have gone onto the ice alone!"

"Do you think there was time to run into the castle for help?" retorted Regulus. "Do you know how fast people die in freezing water? And the grindylows would probably have taken her if I hadn't got in!"

Sirius' lips tightened but he didn't say anything else.

Remus sat down on the edge of Regulus' bed and said in a low voice only for Regulus to hear. "He was just scared of losing you."

"Well…" mumbled Regulus, avoiding looking Remus in the eye. He felt self-conscious and vulnerable there in the hospital bed. "Do you... do you mind giving me some privacy now?" he asked, not in an unkind tone.

It was quiet once Remus, Peter and James had left. The Hufflepuff girl had been put in a bed at the far end of the wing and been given a sleeping potion because she had been so agitated.

Sirius gazed over at Regulus who was lying with his eyes closed. He swung his legs over the edge off his bed and slipped down. Quietly he made his way to Regulus' bed and sat down on the edge, running a hand gently over his brother's hair.

Regulus, who had not been sleeping, but trying to close his mind and not think about what had just happened, opened his eyes at his brother's touch. He quickly looked around to check that they were alone and since he saw that they were, he didn't push the hand away.

"You really scared me, Reggie," Sirius said, his voice a little unsteady. "When you went under... I don't know what I would have done had I not been able to save you." He took a long slow breath. "You're my baby brother and I'm supposed to protect you. I didn't mean to scold you before, but I just got so scared."

"Well, I'm not that easy to get rid of, you know," said Regulus, swallowing a lump. "But I'm sort of glad you were there. Those bloody grindylows..."

"Yeah... they really wanted to drag you to the bottom," Sirius said and kept stroking his brother's hair. "Are you warm enough? Want me to get you another blanket?"

"I'm fine," mumbled Regulus. Damn. He had been determined not to cry, but the bloody tears were welling up in his eyes. Hoping that Sirius wouldn't see them, he leaned forward, burying his head in his brother's lap and tried to cry silently.

Sirius just ran a hand down his back, trying to comfort him. He had noticed the tears but decided not to comment on it, knowing how proud Regulus was. After a few minutes he gently pulled him up in a sitting position and hugged him tightly.

"I thought that was it," whispered Regulus. "I was sure I was going to die... They wouldn't let go... I couldn't hold my breath anymore..."

"I'll never let you get hurt," said Sirius, gently rubbing Regulus' back. "I'll always look out for you even if it may not seem like it at times, but you're my brother and I love you." He smiled a little to himself. It had been years since he had told his brother that he loved him.

Regulus supposed he knew that Sirius loved him, but it still spread warmth throughout his body hearing it said. "Me too..." he mumbled.

Sirius kissed his hair and then gently lay him back down, pulling the covers over him and tugging him in like he always use to do when they were kids. "You better get some rest. You were in the cold water for a long time and you swallowed lake water so I wouldn't be surprised if you're not feeling too well."

"May I disturb?" sounded a kind voice.

They both turned their heads and saw Professor Dumbledore standing a few yards away. He could obviously move very quietly. They had not heard him come down the aisle.

"Sure," said Sirius.

Dumbledore drew up a chair and sat down. "Minerva told me what happened. Are you boys alright?"

They both nodded.

"That was a very brave thing you did for young Miss Adams, Regulus. And you too, Sirius, jumping in to save your brother. The Sorting Hat definitely placed you two in the right house." The old man winked at Regulus.

"I wasn't that brave. But I couldn't just stand and watch her drown," mumbled Regulus.

"You were very brave, Regulus. You risked your own life when you could have just called for help. And when you fell in, you prioritised getting her up first. That is bravery."

Regulus looked down at his hands, feeling his ears go red. He wasn't interested in being a hero. Sirius was the one with the hero-complex. Regulus didn't like all the attention, even if it was admiration. Being a successful Seeker was plenty for him.

"You can both be proud of yourselves and I'm awarding Gryffindor 50 points to you both for your courage," said Dumbledore.

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius said with a wide smile on his lips.

"Thank you, Professor," echoed Regulus quietly.

Dumbledore stayed for a few more minutes until Madam Pomfrey ushered him out so the boys could get some much needed rest.


A/N: Remember to check the illustration for the chapter on Zayhad's deviantart. Link on my profile.