Chapter Chapter. 12

Tara knew that sooner or later, her and Kennedy would have to talk. Tara had so many questions that she felt only Kennedy could answer. They spent the last few days ignoring each other but Tara knew that that time was over. 'I guess this is as good of a time as any.' She thought to herself.

That is when the television caught her eye. She saw Buffy, Xander, Anya, Willow and Kennedy on the screen. They were surrounded by some of the young slayers, some Tara recognized from around the slayer school, but there were other young faces that Tara didn't recognize. Tears began to flood Tara's eyes, as she thought about the faces of those who hadn't survived the final Sunnydale battle.

Kennedy's slayer abilities told her that someone else was in the room. She paused the DVD player, turning to see who had interrupted her time alone with Willow. That was when she noticed Tara standing in the doorway.

Even in the darkened room, Tara could see tears streaming down Kennedy's face.

"Do you mind? I was in the middle of something." Kennedy stated.

Tara walked further into the room and sat on the couch across from Kennedy. "Buffy's talking about the First Evil, right?" Tara asked motioning towards the television.

"Yeah, she is."

"Do you mind if I watch it with you? I mean, I really want to know what happened in Sunnydale before it became a large empty pit." Tara asked patiently.

"I guess it can't hurt. I'm just warning you that I don't really remember what's on this DVD. And I have no clue what's on the second one." Kennedy replied.

Tara gave her a confused look.

"It's just that no one really knew or cared that Andrew was filming us. We had more important things to worry about at the time."

"Andrew?"

"Yeah, he was basically a hostage that we couldn't get rid of. And actually we still can't get rid of him."

"It's just that the name sounds familiar."

Kennedy suddenly remembered one of the reasons that Andrew was taken hostage. "You might remember his name because he was a member of that geek squad that kept trying to kill Buffy. You know, the one with Warren as the leader."

"Warren." Tara thought to herself. The man that shot her. The man that Willow killed.

Kennedy didn't want to like Tara but she couldn't help admire the woman's quiet strength. Since she didn't want to have some emotional discussion with Tara; she decided to change the topic before things reached that point. "So like I said before, if you want to sit here and watch it, it doesn't bother me. But consider yourself warned."

Without waiting for Tara's response, Kennedy turned the video back on.

As Tara watched the video, she paid attention to every word being said, but she couldn't take her eyes off Willow. Willow was sitting on a chair with Kennedy sitting beside her, on the arm of the chair. They were held hands while they listened to Buffy talk about the First Evil.

Tara caught a glimpse of Kennedy as she watched the television. The way that Kennedy watched Willow on the screen, told Tara that Kennedy truly did love Willow. Still loves her, Tara reminded herself. As much as Tara didn't understand about Kennedy, she didn't want to see the young slayer hurt. But Tara knew that in the end, someone was going to end up getting hurt.

Kennedy tried to keep her eyes on the screen, but she couldn't stop herself from sneaking a quick glimpse of Tara. 'So this is the woman who's death broke Willow. Why did Willow love her so much? I mean I know that she is a witch too, but other than that, what's so special about her? Sure, she seems nice but she was too quiet. I'd never expect Miss. Babble to find something in common with someone who doesn't really talk at all.'

Kennedy turned her attention back to the television when she realized that Andrew had recorded her and Willow kissing on the couch. They thought that they had been alone. If they had known that Andrew was there, during their private moment, Kennedy knew that she probably would have made him eat the camera. But at this moment, Kennedy appreciated the fact that there was video proof that Willow did in fact love her.

After the first DVD ended, Kennedy walked up to the television and inserting the second DVD into the machine. As she turned to sit back down, she looked over to Tara and said: "This one is a mystery. No clue what's on it."

Tara's nod was her only reply.

As the second DVD began, Kennedy immediately remembered the day that it was filmed. Soon after the collapse of Sunnydale, when the Scoobies and the new slayers were getting settled into their new home, they decided to have a party. A party to celebrate surviving the fall of Sunnydale and to celebrate the lives that were lost in the fight.

Kennedy thought back to the memory of that day.

MemoryKennedy was eating her fourth hamburger when she noticed that Willow was no longer beside her. 'Where did she go?' Kennedy wondered to herself. She began to walk around, looking for her lover. It didn't take long before she found Willow standing by the lake, looking deep in thought. As Kennedy began to move towards Willow, she noticed that Willow was trying not to cry. Kennedy knew that she had to do something to take Willow's mind away from whatever was upsetting her. It wasn't hard for Kennedy to figure out what was upsetting her girlfriend. Tara. Kennedy made a promise to herself that she would always do whatever it took to put a smile back on Willow's face. Suddenly she had an idea. She began running towards Willow, yelling "Will! Lets go for a swim!"

Willow turned towards Kennedy for an instant before she started to run away in the opposite direction. "Kennedy! I'm not going swimming! I'm fully dressed! Don't throw me in!"

Kennedy started laughing. "That's a good idea, thanks Babe!"

"Buffy! Xander! Anyone! Help me, she's going to throw me in!" Willow laughed as she continued to run away from Kennedy.

Suddenly Kennedy noticed everyone running behind her, towards the water. But they were to late to help Willow.

As Kennedy reached Willow, she picked her up and threw her over her shoulder. Kennedy then started to run into the water.

Willow continued to struggle, even as Kennedy threw her into the water.

Kennedy stood over Willow as the witch sat in the water. "What?" Kennedy asked, not trusting the grin that suddenly appeared on Willow's face.

Without a word, Willow grabbed Kennedy's arm pulling her down into the water as well. Kennedy immediately jumped back onto her feet. She then noticed that they were no longer the only ones in the water. Everyone was now jumping into the lake.

As Willow stood back up, she wrapped her arms around Kennedy, pressing her chest against Kennedy's back. She proceeded by whispering into Kennedy's ear. "If you go get me a towel, I'll let you warm me up."

Within a minute, Kennedy grabbed a towel that a younger slayer had been using and ran back into the water, meeting Willow halfway.

As they arrived back onto solid ground, Willow sat down on a blanket with Kennedy sitting between her legs. She wrapped the towel around the both of them. Willow continued to whisper into Kennedy's ear. "You shouldn't have taken this towel from Vi."

Kennedy turned around and replied. "You told me to get you a towel. I did. Mission complete. Now what about my prize?"

Willow smiled and leaning forward to kiss Kennedy. She paused a couple of minutes later and said. "That's just a preview of what's going to happen in a few minutes."

"A few minutes?"

Willow jumped up and started running towards their cabin. It didn't take long before Kennedy got the message, and started running towards the cabin, herself.

End of Memory

Kennedy smiled as she remembered that day, which had continued well into the next day for the couple. No one saw them leave the cabin until suppertime, the following day.

She looked back at the TV and watched as Andrew moved from behind the tree where Willow and Kennedy were sitting and sat on the next blanket where Buffy sat with Dawn and Xander.

Dawn watched as Kennedy followed Willow in the cabin. "Well, we all know what they're going to go do."

Buffy looked at Xander quickly and answered her sister's statement. "Yeah, they're going to go do some research…."

"Yeah in the bedroom." Dawn replied laughing.

Xander almost choked on the hotdog that he was eating.

Buffy turned to Andrew and ordered. "Turn that off or I'll throw that thing in the lake."

The TV then went blank.

Tara didn't know what to make out of what she had just seen. She had had a few days to think about the fact that Willow was now with Kennedy, but seeing it for herself, made it hurt more than she could ever have imagined. 'Why would she want me here if she has this? Do I even fit into her new life? She's a different person now, does that mean that she won't love me the same way as she did, before? Will I even love her the same way?' Tara couldn't stop the questions that were now popping up in her head. But she knew that there was one person who would be able to answer some of her questions, at least until Willow can answer the rest for herself. Kennedy. Tara didn't know what to how to start talking to her love's lover especially since Kennedy didn't seem like a very welcoming person, but Tara knew that she had to at least try.

"Kennedy… can I…ask…you a ques…question?" Tara stuttered.

Kennedy was unsure if she should even be talking to Tara. Kennedy didn't want to find a reason to not hate her. She knew that there must be something about Tara that made the people around her, fall in love with her. In the end, it was Kennedy's curiosity that won. "Yeah, I guess."

"Well it's about Willow. The Willow that we just watched was your Willow, right?"

"What do you mean by 'Your Willow'?"

"No, nothing bad. I just meant that … Does Willow act the same way now as she did back when this video was shot?"

Kennedy couldn't figure out what Tara meant. Why would Tara ask about the way Willow acted? She lived with Willow; she should know the answer to that question. Then it hit Kennedy, she figured out why Tara was asking. "Well, yeah. That's Willow. Are you telling me that she isn't the same person as she was when you were alive, the first time?"

Tara could feel the tears softly falling down her cheeks. Her Willow was damaged, possibly beyond repair. Tara tried to form an answer, but found it impossible. She only shook her head in response.

"How is she different? I mean, she's still Willow, isn't she?" Kennedy began to panic, there was something wrong with the woman that she loved and she had had no idea.

Tara could sense the anxiety in Kennedy's voice. "The Willow that I just watched seems sad, dark, and unsure of herself. Sure I saw a lot of the old Willow there, but the new one just seems stronger. The Willow that I remember was strong, happy, she babbled without noticing and sure we had our rough patches, but I felt like she was making progress in not using her magic."

"She still babbles, I guess that hasn't changed. Willow has changed even since I've known her. I mean when I first met her, she was scared to even go near anything magic related because she knew that there was a chance that she could lose control and that the darkness inside of her would hurt someone. But since she changed the future of all slayers, she's getting better at the whole control thing."

"Better?"

"Well I doubt that she'll ever really be able to control all her powers. I mean she's the most powerful Wicca on this side of the planet, if not the whole world. She changed magics that were as old as the history of slayers themselves. It would be hard for anyone to control all of that."

Tara had always known that Willow was powerful but even before she died, it scared her to think about how powerful her girlfriend really was. And now Willow had even more power. Dark power. "But it's dangerous power. Dark power, it's not something to be taken lightly."

"I know that I don't get the whole magic thing. But I know that magic can get pretty messed up sometimes. Like the first time that I kissed Willow, she turned into the guy that killed you. Oh yeah, she then pulled a gun on me. But never mind that, it's just that she wasn't in control of her power but it wasn't the dark power controlling her. It was just power brought on by her emotions. She's powerful, sure. But it isn't good power or bad power, its just power." Just as Kennedy was about to continue, her cell phone began to ring. "Yeah… Of course… Be there soon. Yeah I'll tell Buffy." Kennedy turned towards Tara and said. "Well, I got to go. There some badness in town and Xander wants me to go stay with Willow while he helps Buffy. So, yeah… See ya."

With that Kennedy was out the door, leaving Tara alone in the dark room, alone with her thoughts.

Talking to Kennedy made Tara realize that Kennedy wasn't a bad person; she was just someone who's afraid of losing the person that they loved. But what Kennedy had said about power, stuck in Tara's mind.

Tara knew that Willow was not in any way a bad person. Willow was a best friend, confidante and the most amazing girlfriend. It was the power, that kept giving Tara doubts on whether she could just sit by and wait to see if Willow would succumb to the darkness again. But what Kennedy had said about Willow's power being linked to her emotions, made sense to Tara. Tara realized that everything that she had heard about Willow's greater moments, whether good or evil, always seemed to be tied to Willow either being extremely upset, like when she died, or great strength and will, like when she gave all potential slayers their powers.

Kennedy arrived at Willow's hospital room in record time. She knew that Buffy needed Xander's help fighting the latest evil and Kennedy knew that after her time talking to Tara, she needed Willow.

"I'm here. Buffy told me to tell you that she'll meet you at the entrance of Parkland Cemetery."

"That's good. Thanks for coming. I feel bad leaving her when she's like this…"

Kennedy placed a hand on Xander's shoulder and said: "It's okay. Will would totally understand why you have to leave. Don't worry, I won't leave her side."

Xander stood up from the chair, beside Willow's bed. He walked over to the doorway, before leaving he turned to Kennedy and said: "I'll be back in morning to check on you. If she…."

"Yeah, I know."

Xander nodded in understanding, and left the room.

Kennedy climbed onto the bed, beside Willow and placed her head on Willow's shoulder, taking the witch's hand into her own. She sat there quietly, just thinking about what she was going to do when Willow finally woke up.

Suddenly Kennedy felt Willow's hand move, she pulled away to get a better look at Willow's face.

"Hey, I was comfortable like that…" Willow whispered quietly.

"Will! You're awake." Kennedy placed a gentle kiss on Willow's lips. "I've missed you."

Willow's mind was still foggy but she knew that she was in a hospital and something had gone wrong with the demon. "How long was I out?"

"Shhh, Baby. You've been sleeping for the last four days or so. But you're awake now." Kennedy moved a strand of hair from Willow's eyes. "I've missed those beautiful eyes looking at me."

"Did everyone make it out of the cave, alright? I remember seeing them there." Willow knew that if anyone was hurt, she was to blame. She also knew that someone else's death on her conscience would destroy her.

"Baby, you need to rest. You've been through a lot; please we can talk about this later. But to answer your question, yes, everyone is okay. They're out fighting some evil right now. They said that they'd be back in the morning to see you but I'll call to tell that them you're awake."

"No, they're busy right now. I'll just see them in the morning. It will be a surprise for them."

"Okay, now it's time to rest. We'll deal with everything later." Kennedy ordered. Now that Willow was awake, she knew that there was a likely chance that her time with Willow was running out. But she also knew that Willow needed to rest.

"Just one more thing, then I promise to get some rest." Willow took a deep breath, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer to her own question but she knew that she needed to know the answer. "How about Tara?" she asked in a whisper.

Kennedy climbed off the bed and sat on the chair beside the bed. Kennedy took a deep breath and looked into Willow's sad eyes. "She's not here."

Willow knew that her plan was likely to backfire, but she knew that she had at least tried. And failed. She failed to bring her soul mate back to her. Willow couldn't look at Kennedy; she turned her head to look the opposite way. She refused to allow Kennedy to see her cry about Tara ever again. Willow decided then and there that she had hurt Kennedy enough, and that she would show the young slayer how much she truly meant to her. But Willow knew that she had to say a final goodbye to Tara, one last time. 'Tara, I'm so sorry for failing you. Remember that I'll always love you. I hope that you can forgive me for trying to bring you back here from heaven. Bye, Tara.' She knew that now she had to rest, especially since she could no longer keep her eyes open. Willow fell asleep as her tears dried on her cheeks.