Ch 12: How Kirby met Yoshi

Arceus slammed his hoof into Palkia's face causing the dragon to fall towards the ground. "You-" The dragon began but Arceus cut him off. "Did you honestly think you could defeat a god?" He said. Dialga stuck his tongue out. "That was mature." "Shut it!" The space and time dragons continued their verbal argument until Arceus shouted at them. "KNOCK IT OFF! If you keep fighting you will both be banished to the distortion world! All you can do their is talk with...Giratina." "NO! NOT GIRATINA!" Palkia cried beginning to tremble. "At our reunion he ripped out a puppy's soul and ate it." Dialga said crying. "Palkia, your coming with us." The god said angrily. "Over my burned carcass." The dragon replied. Energy surrounded Arceus's head. "That's the idea." He said firing the Judgement attack into the air. "Judgement is such a bitch..." Palkia sighed shaking his head before getting slammed into the ground.

When Palkia hit the ground, the shock waves blew Meta Knight off of his feet and the small knight spread his wings. "Jeez man, drop some pounds will you?" He requested. "I'll drop a pound of spacial energy right in your ass!" "Please don't." Meta Knight said chuckling. Dialga then fired a Roar of Time at his counterpart slamming him against the castle walls. "You're done." Arceus said landing on top of it. Pink energy surrounded Palkia and he teleported. This caused Arceus to shake his head. "You can't escape your creator." He said.

Kirby held the Quodforce of Invincibility in his grasp. "After this nightmare, I deserve this." He decided. He began to absorb the jewel when a flash image of Meta Knight and Dedede came into his mind. "Urrg. I can't just not give them anything. Maybe this thing has some kind of divider." Kirby went to Zelda's bookshelf and pulled out "The Quodforce for dummies" and began flipping to the section about the middle part. "While this gem grants the absorber invincibility and immortality, the gem itself isn't invincible. Beware!" Kirby said reading the book and then tossing it in the garbage.

The murderer grabbed Link's Master Sword and chopped the small triangle into 3 pieces. Two were small and the other was big. Kirby absorbed the biggest piece and clasped the other 2 and walked out. He felt immense power and protection surging throughout his small body.

"Checkmate! I win." Dedede said. "2 things: 1: We're playing go fish. 2: I just won." Meta Knight replied, "Fuck this game." Dedede said standing up. "You really suck." Arceus informed the king when Kirby walked out. "Is that him?" Dialga asked. "Yep! He's selling at 2 million dollars now." Dedede replied. "What?" Kirby questioned. "I put you on sale at Ebay. You're selling at 2 million dollars." Kirby squinted and Meta Knight put his hands on his face. "You're auctioning me on a website." The puff-ball shouted angrily. "Yeah." "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Kirby shouted leaping at Dedede tackling him. "Kirby, I had no idea you liked leaping on top of men so much." Arceus chuckled getting Kirby to stop.

"I even saved you two some of the Quodforce. But, since your selling me to some fat hillbilly with no job I guess I'll just take them for myself." Kirby said angrily. "It was his idea!" Meta Knight insisted. "Kiss my ass!" Dedede shouted back causing Meta Knight to slap him with Galaxia. "Here you two brats go. Just shut up." Kirby shouted handing them the pieces which they absorbed. "Now, what're they still doing here?" Kirby asked pointing at Dialga and Arceus. "I agreed we'd help them track down Palkia." Meta Knight informed. "That is a good idea." Kirby said smiling. "We can take revenge on that bastard for betraying us." "Palkia's the only pokemon with the balls to betray us." Meta Knight said.

Palkia came out of his portal and landed on a green island extremly wounded. "Hey, fatass." A voice called. The dragon opened his eyes to see Yoshi standing there. "Who are you?" He asked. "Funny. I was going to ask you the same thing. Its not everyday a strange gay dragon lands on my island." "Gay?" "You're pink. That's enough evidence for me." "Palkia..." "Yoshi... What the hell do you want, maggot?" "I just need a little time to recover. That's it." Palkia's statement caused Yoshi to laugh. "WHAT?" "Do I look like the kind of guy who is just going to let you waltz in in homosexual fashion and use my land without a price. Nu-uh Pinky. You're crazy." "I don't exactly have money." "You're a dragon. What use could I have for a beast as powerful as yourself?" "...Cooking?" "Oh fuck you buddy." Yoshi growled scowling.

"What exactly do you want...asshole?" "Let me answer your question that was asked so politely. I want you attack...Mario." "Why?" "When he leaps off your back to make a jump and sends you down a 3000 ft high cliff then you'll understand." "If you're as powerful as you are arrogant, why haven't you just done it yourself?" "Oh Pinky. You make me laugh. You really do. That's only because you're so pathetic. When you master something, you make money off it. Never show your talents for free." "Greedy Bastard..." Yoshi chuckled. "You're counselors seem to be behind you." He said.

Palkia turned and laid eyes on Kirby, Meta Knight, King Dedede, Dialga, and Arceus. "Palkia, it's over." Dialga said. "Marx is dead. Moogle dragged him to Hell. You're next." Kirby said holding the pistol. "Do you really think its going to be that easy?" Yoshi asked Kirby. "Who the hell do you think you are?" "I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other one." Kirby fired a bullet at the dinosaur but an egg struck it. "What do you care about this dragon?" "Pinky here is going to do a little favor for me in exchange for my hospitality." "Why does every character we meet have to be a psycho villain?" Meta Knight asked.

"Go get laid in the shower and then eat a tuna sandwich, asshole." Yoshi replied. "What have you been doing all day?" Meta Knight asked looking at the collection of movies Yoshi had in his house. "I've been reviewing movies, books, and Fanfiction that I like but giving them negative reviews for no reason." "Who the fuck in their right mind reviews things they like negatively?" Arceus asked. A long silence followed this. "Do you think he'll get it?" Dialga asked. "Probably." Kirby said rolling his eyes. "Now, let's get down to business." Yoshi said sneering.


"There you go." Kirby said applauding. "The chapter is finally done and now we have an announcement." Meta Knight said. "If you don't have sex you can't get STD's." Dedede said. "That's right. A new discovery shows that not having sexual intercourse is a 100% effective way not to get the diseases you hear about on the radio or in your local AIDS clinic." Meta Knight said, "And now on to the real announcement." Kirby said. "Since we're such nice people, we will take suggestions of a video game world that you would like to see get a crossover with me, Kirby. The rules are simple. In a review just type the name of the video game series that you would like to see get the crossover. Please note however, that no character in the game franchise that you select is guaranteed survival. Even the main character has the same survival rate as that one asshole you saw get out of Buffalo Wild Wings at 3 in the morning drunk off his ass and drove into the dead of night. Also, as this series is generally comedy character personality traits will be shifted to make them more comedic. For example, in an upcoming Bioshock crossover, the Little Sister is hitting adolescence and always texting on her phone and is a punk. The Big Daddy is a frustrated father trying to control her. You can't give suggestions on how to make the series funnier. That's the author's job. You just give the game you want. DON'T GIVE SUGGESTIONS!"