Chapter 12

(A/N hello everyone!! Sorry I haven't updated in a while I was just finishing up exams…neways here is the very last chapter of my fanfic I really hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it…much love to Cappy!!

And without further ado

Chapter 12

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He was still on the floor crying when Tohma arrived. He just couldn't stop, and it scared him. But what scared him more was the fact that when he carried Shuichi's body through the door, he hadn't been breathing.

"Eiri, are you alright?" Tohma knelt down beside his brother-in-law.

Yuki turned to him and cried in his shoulder. "Oh God Tohma, he's dead, Shuichi is dead."

They stayed like that for a couple minutes and Tohma was greatly reminded of Yuki crying like this as a sixteen year old. But what shocked Tohma was that now, Yuki was even more heartbroken then that time. Yuki truly loved Shuichi.

"Eiri," Tohma held Yuki's head at arms length as he wiped away his tears. "Don't lose hope just yet, you have to be strong. Shuichi doesn't need that negative energy.

"..Ok... give me a minute Tohma," Yuki rose on shaky feet and made his way outside. Maybe a cigarette would make him feel better.

Oh God I'm a mess. Now I'm breaking down in the middle of hospitals. Soon I'm going to be crying everyday like the brat.

I do not cry all the time! Yuki why do you have to be so mean to me!

He heard the voice as clear as day. That was a couple of weeks ago. Shuichi had started crying over the fact that Yuki had been working on his novel three days in a row. Shuichi said he missed him.

And I… I told him to suck it up and I told him he cried too much.

I was so horrible to him sometimes. No… more then sometimes.

It's ok Yuki I still love you! Just get your work done ok. I know that you don't mean most of the things you say.

And Shuichi leaned in closer and kissed Yuki softly on the forehead, then walked out of the study door.

No Shuichi come back! I'm sorry! Shuichi!

Shuichi turned and smiled at him, his amethyst eyes bright and happy. But then his face slowly turned pale, his lips turned blue and he shook from the cold. A deep red spread from his stomach and his eyes started to grow duller and duller, until they were empty.

Shuichi!

"Eiri wake up!"

Yuki jumped up from where he had been lying on the grass.

"I must have fallen asleep," he squeezed his eyes to try and get the image out of his head.

"Eiri…"

"What...whats wrong?"

"Just... just come with me Eiri."

Yuki stood up and followed Tohma into the hospital. They walked into the critical care unit, and Yuki spotted Dr.Takuto standing over by one of the hospital beds in the corner.

He turned as they came closer; the look on his face was that of utter dread.

Yuki could feel tears prickling at the back of his eyes but he fought them back. The room started to get smaller as he walked foreward. Time seemed to stand still, and all the sounds of the hospital were muted. He couldn't hear what the doctor was saying to Tohma. The only thing that filled his world right now, was Shuichi lying on that hospital bed…with a sheet over his head.

"Can you," his voice cracked, "can you give us a minute."

"Sure thing Eiri."

And then he was alone with Shuichi.

Yuki slowly made his way around the side of the bed, and sat in the chair that was there. With a shaking hand he reached over and pulled the sheet down from over Shuichi. He could have been sleeping. Yuki was waiting for him to open his eyes. To open bright eyes and smile his smile and to tell him that it's ok. Tell him that is wasn't his fault.

"Shuichi. Shuichi it's me," Yuki reached over and held Shuichi's hand. It was cold. He was cold. So very, very cold.

"Shuichi…Shu… I need you to do something for me. I know I shouldn't be asking you anything right now but please can you do something for me. I need you to open your eyes. Shu I need you to open your eyes and look at me. Please Shuichi just for me, open you eyes."

Tears started trickling down Yuki's face as he waited. He knew that nothing would happen. He knew that Shuichi would never open his eyes again… but still he hoped. He waited and waited, looking for the slightest flutter of eyelashes. For the smallest sign of life. But of course… nothing happened.

Yuki reached over and softly brushed Shuichi's strawberry coloured hair out of his face. His hair was soft, just like it always was. Yuki ran his fingers through Shuichi's hair as he talked to him, leaning in until their faces were inches apart.

"Shu…if you won't open your eyes, can you smile for me. You could always smile…even when it was a completely miserable day. Even when I was being a complete jerk, you always smiled for me Shuichi. So please just smile for me. Shu please, I need to see your smile one more time. Please Shuichi smile for me. Please."

But Shuichi… didn't smile.

Yuki climbed into the hospital bed beside Shuichi and held his small body close.

"Shu…I need you to wake up. Oh God Shuichi please, please wake up. Please I can't live without you. I need you Shuichi, you're the only good thing in my life. So please Shu… wake up. Open your eyes and smile… and… and… oh god Shuichi please don't leave me. Please stay with me."

Yuki buried his face into Shuichi's hair, the scent of strawberries was as strong as ever.

Yuki came home and could hear the shower on. Shuichi was singing one of his songs, totally at ease and happy. Yuki sat outside of the bathroom door, listening to his lover's amazing voice. The shower turned off and the bathroom door opened. Shuichi stepped out wearing only a towel. Yuki stood up, taking in his lover's amazing body which still glistened with water. Shuichi turned to him, his eyes bright and glowing and a big smile was spread across his face. It was at times like that, when Yuki's walls went down. He stepped foreward and pulled him into a hug, burying his face into Shuichi's wet hair, the sweet smell of strawberries overwhelming.

"I love you Yuki."

Yuki closed his eyes and opened them, hopeing that when he opened them again Shuichi would be alive. But when he opened his eyes, the frail body he held in his arms was still lifeless.

Yuki kissed Shuichi's forehead, then he held him so their foreheads were touching. How many times had be layed in bed like his with Shuichi, breathing in Shuichi's sweet breath. Watching him as he slept, the way his eyes would fluttered ever so slightly, or the way he would talk in his sleep. The soft blush of his cheeks and the deep pink of his lips. The way his hair would fall into his eyes and Yuki would feel the need to brush it away, and as he did he would feel Shuichi's soft skin, warm to the touch. If he held him close enough he could feel Shuichi's heart beating against his chest. And Shuichi would curl closer into Yuki's chest and whispher "I love you". And as Shuichi fell back to sleep, Yuki would hold him closer and whisper "I love you" back to him.

But now, no breath escaped Shuichi's lips. His eyes didn't flutter and his skin was a pale gray, no colour touched his lips or his cheeks. His skin was cold to the touch and when Yuki held him close, he could not feel any heart beating.

"Dammit Shuichi I didn't give you permission to leave me. Who said you could die and leave me here. You're not aloud to leave me. So come back. Come back Shuichi… please… I love you so much Shuichi please come back. I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry I was always so mean to you. And I'm sorry I made you leave that night, and I'm sorry this happened to you… and I'm sorry… I never told you how much you meaned to me. I love you ok, I said it… you can come back now. Please…Shu, come back. Please…Shuichi…."

"Shuichi… baka why did you have to get yourself into this? Why didn't you go to Hiro's like you always do? Why did you go with Taki? Why… did you let me throw you out? Shu…Shu…I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Forgive me Shuichi. I'm sorry, forgive me."

Yuki pulled Shuichi even closer, sobs shaking his body uncontroably as he held his angel in his arms. An angel whose voice would only ever be heard again in the next life.

And Yuki held Shuichi's tighter, his own tears soaking into Shuichi's hair, as he whispered sweet "I love yous" that Shuichi couldn't hear.

………………………………………………………………………….

After that the days went by in a blur. Yuki hadn't left his room let alone his house since he was brought back by Tohma. The funeral was being held today, so Yuki forced himself out of bed.

The house was empty…cold. Too many memories swirling around.

"Morning Yuki, rise and shine, it's a beautiful day out," Shuichi bounded into bed and landed on top of Yuki. A huge smile on his face. "I love you Yuki."

If he listened closely, sometimes Yuki could swear he heard Shuichi's voice, forever preserved in the house.

And sometimes late at night he swore he heard Shuichi singing him a lullaby. The tune was familiar but Yuki couldn't place it just yet.

Tohma picked him up and brought him to the church. It was packed with people that Yuki had seen before but didn't know. Hiro sat beside him… he cried the whole time. Shuichi's parents sat in front of them…his mother never stopped crying either.

The wake was worse then the actual funeral. Shuichi looked like he would sit up at any moment.

They walked one by one to the coffin.

Hiro followed Shuichi's parents. "Hey man, how you doing? You look good… you'd be surprised at how many chicks came to see you off man. Oh God Shuichi… I'm really going to miss you. Are you sure this isn't a joke man. If it is it's not funny Shuichi…it's not funny at all."

Yuki couldn't bring himself to walk to the coffin. He didn't want to see Shuichi like that. He wanted to see Shuichi alive. He wanted Shuichi to come back.

Watching them close the coffin had to be the worst thing to happen that day. It meant that it was all real. It meant that Shuichi really was dead.

Once the service was over Shuichi's close friends and family left to the cemetery. Yuki was the last to arrive.

He watched as they slowly lowered his lover into the ground. He watched them shovel dirt over him, sealing him into the earth, where he would forever stay. He watched as each of them lay a flower on top of his grave. He watched them all walk away.

Finally, when they all had left Yuki slowly walked foreward.

"Shuichi Shindou

Beloved Son
Brother

Friend

And Lover

Let the wings of his song lift his spirit, away from all of lifes pain. Let him find peace and beauty in the next life. Let his song live on forever in those who knew him."

Yuki leant foreward and gently placed a red rose at the foot of the grace. As he turned, and with tears in his eyes he whisphered softly, "I will always love you Shuichi Shindou. Please wait for me."

Yuki didn't even notice when he made it home. He just curled up in bed and cried. The moon and stars shone through the bedroom window, and he finally remembered that song.

Shuichi had been going on about how romantic it was. The song was called "Tonight" by an America band called "FM Static". Yuki thought it was the stupidest song in the world… but the chorus… the chorus was what stayed with him far into the night.

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up

And every night I miss you, I can just look up

And know the stars are

Holding you, holding you, holding you

Tonight

Yuki stayed there for hours after dawn, replaying that song over and over in his head as he remembered Shuichi. As he cried for his angel.

"Eiri."

"Tohma?... leave me alone, get out of my house. I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Eiri we have to go."

"We don't have to go anywhere, I want to stay here. Please Tohma the bed still smells like him."

"Eiri we have to talk to him."

"Leave me alone."

"The doctor's waiting Eiri, you have to wake up."

"What…"

……………………………………………………………………………….

Yuki's eyes flung open and he looked up to see Tohma leaning over him.

"Eiri, come on the doctor has news for us."

Yuki slowly sat up, his face was stiff from dry tears.

It was a dream. It was all just a dream.

But as Yuki followed Tohma through the hospital something clenched in the pit of his stomach.

But it might not be a dream.

They passed the ICU much to Yuki's surprise, and instead went to a private room.

And there Yuki saw Shuichi. There was too many machines attached to him to count but the only thing Yuki carried about was the beeping of the heart monitor beside the bed. Shuichi's heart was beating…Shuichi was alive.

(A/N I was going to leave it there but then I remembered that this was supposed to be the last chapter lmao so I continued a bit more :P)

Yuki almost didn't believe it. Just seconds before he had held Shuichi's dead body in his arms. He had felt the coldness of his skin, he had felt his frail body unmoving. He had gone to his funeral and watched them lay him in the ground. But… Shuichi was there.

Yuki slowly walked over, his hand shaking as he reached out to Shuichi. The minute his hand made contact with Shuichi's forehead a single tear fell down his face. It was warm. Shuichi was warm to the touch. In fact he could tell that Shuichi was in fact burning up with fever, but anything was better then the coldness that he had felt earlier. Anything was better then that emptiness.

Shuichi mumbled something, and turned his head towards Yuki, putting the slightest pressure against Yuki's hand.

Then his eyes fluttered softly and he eased himself against Yuki's hand and fell back to sleep.

……………………………………………………………………………………

According to the doctor Shuichi was going to be ok…physically that is. He had lost a lot of blood and suffered from a slight case of hypothermia but he was going to be ok, everything was going to heal.

But his mind on the other hand, was a different story. He stilled suffered from amnesia and the doctor had no way of telling when…or if he would remember who he was.

"Mr.Yuki this is a big responsibility. Are you sure you want to take this on by yourself."

Yuki looked at the sleeping Shuichi and turned back to the doctor. "I don't want him to spend who knows how long in a hospital. I want him back at home with me. I think it will help with his memory if he was back at home."

And with that the doctor nodded and left, and Yuki went over to Shuichi.

He started running his fingers through his lovers hair, watching him. His eyes took in every part of Shuichi. His chest rising with each breath, his eyes that every once in a while would flutter.

Then his eyes actually opened. Yuki's heart clenched when he saw his lover's eyes. As bright as they had always been, though they were filled with confusion and sadness.

Yuki continued to stroke his lover's head and leaned in ever so slightly.

"I know you don't remember me, and that's alright. Because I know you, Shuichi Shindou. I know you and I will stay with you through all of this. You don't have to be afraid. Your not alone."

As tears started to well in Shuichi's eyes Yuki leaned even closer and soflty kissed him on the head. He held his lover close and let him cry, letting him know that he would never leave him. That he would always be there.

Shuichi clung to Yuki with every fibre of his being, because he had finally found him. The one person who he knew would keep him safe. Who he knew would love him.

"I love you," Shuichi whisperd the words and they brought on a fresh set of tears. Those words were the only thing that Shuichi knew in this world. The only thing that he believed with all his being were true.

"Baka," Yuki gazed into Shuichi's eyes and soflty placed a kiss on his lips.

"I love you more then you could possibly imagine."

And Shuichi fell asleep in the arms of the man he had just met, but had known forever. Holding those words in his mind as he drifted off… because deep down, past the darkness and the sadness…he knew that the man had spoken the truth. He knew that he would never leave him…he knew that he cared. And at that moment he truly believed, beyond a shadow of a doubt…that everything… would be ok.

(A/N and that was Chapter 12…thank you so much guys for reviewing and reading this fic… I will start a sequel I just don't know quiet yet when… I will tell you by adding another chapter to this story with the information so if your interested in a sequel put this under Story Alert… neways I would like to give my love to Captara who has beta'd me through this and helped me come up with the title I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed…you really kept this story alive and made it exciting for me. I hope too see you all in the sequel, when I get around to doing it lol so please EVERYONE REVIEW FOR THE LAST TIME LOL!!3

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