"Mama!" Charlie beamed. He charged forward, straight past Nico and everyone else gaping at him, right into his mother's arms. For a brief second, he thought he was alright, but Louisa was obviously mad at him.
"When he says no touchy, he means no freakin' touchy, he weren't gone long, why couldn't you have sat still 'n' not played with that whatever it was?! Dammit, Charlie! Ya had one job! Oooh, I could strangle you, I would if- where is that prat anyway?" She looked back out the door, sticking her fingers in her mouth and whistling sharply. She got a fire cat in reply. It hissed at her and then dissolved, leaving a minor burn on the floor. She put her hand on her hip, her left holding onto Charlie by the scruff of his shirt. Charlie wasn't getting away again. Not that he wanted to- his other option was certain death by teenagers. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his mother's waist and hugged her with no intention of letting go anytime soon. He was so happy to see her, even if she did want to strangle him, relieved that she had come back to get him, so overwhelmed at the sight of his mama that he wanted to cry.
Everyone was still in a state of shock when Leo rounded the corner, gorging himself on a packet of cookies. He stopped when he saw Louisa glaring at him, dropped the biscuits upon seeing his son, bouncing forward to initiate a group hug.
"Grounded!" He declared two seconds later. "I nearly died! I was getting food and all you had to do was sit still, I should've taken you with me! You're grounded until she forgives me for losing you!"
"Which will be never." Louisa pinched him sharply.
"It's not my fault he plays with shiny things. That's your department." Leo stuck his tongue out. Louisa looked ready to break him, so he recovered his cookies and carried on eating. "You're not getting one." He told Charlie. "These are mine, I'm stressed."
"Um, excuse me?" Annabeth found her voice first, waving at the newcomers. "Yes, hello. What the heck is going on?"
"Oh. Oh. Mmm. Oy, what'd you tell them?" Leo looked questioningly at his son.
"Um-" Charlie began brilliantly.
"Wait, hold up." Percy shook his head. "You're all seeing what I'm seeing right?" The others nodded. "He called you 'Mama', you're… you're her, but you're… old."
"Older. Emphasis on the 'er'." Louisa fumed. Leo snickered and started pointing out imaginary grey hairs. Louisa grabbed his fingers and bent them back until he pleaded mercy. She looked about the room, swearing colourfully. "Valdez."
"No, I'm injured."
"Ya dyin'."
"What? Dios bueno, I am!" Leo started forward to help his younger self and then realised who was still holding him. He almost made a joke, 'ah, you did care!', but the words died in his throat. Louisa's past self was holding onto her best friend like her life depended on it. Leo knew full well that it wasn't her life she was worried about that- he could see it in her eyes, he had had years reading Louisa's eyes to gauge her emotions, he could see she wasn't going to let go of his unconscious form for anything. "Hey, I can help."
"Go away."
"Lou, it's me. I'm Leo."
"No. No, this is Leo, I don't know who you are."
"Um… oh gods, how do I put this gently?" Leo glanced back. His Louisa shrugged, more focused on making sure Charlie was OK. "Right, I'm sure they're cottoning on now," he waved vaguely at the others, "but, hello, it is I, your future husband." She started shaking her head. "OK, you're in shock. Tag, tag." He hissed.
"Hey," his wife pointed at him warningly, "we talked about the taggin'."
"Well, what do you want me to do? Hey younger version of my wife, you're going to love this story. When you go on a honeymoon with them, you get kidnapped by Luke trying to protect their kid and then stuff happens and you go missing for two months, but I won't go into details with that, it's just not good and then you come back and fall in love for ever and ever with the amazing Valdez you see before you now. That pretty much sums it up, right?"
"Yes, Leo." His Louisa deadpanned, still checking Charlie's head for injuries.
"Rewind." Percy said. "Honeymoon? Kid?" He glanced sheepishly at Annabeth, who seemed a little pink-faced.
"I'll explain later. Let me save me. Who's in charge of blood transfusions round here?"
"Hey. Hey. Wake up, you handsome devil."
"Stop it, you'll freak him out."
"Oh, he's going to freak whatever the weather. I don't think Frank's recovered. Though, I don't think I'd recover if I woke up to see myself baring down. Hey, I'm bored. Wake up." Leo grinned as his younger self squinted at him. "Hey, good-looking." It took a second and then younger Leo jolted, smacking his head on the headboard and then scrambling up, arming himself with a pillow and breath mints.
"What, what, what, who, how, what- Lou? No, wait, you're not- where's Lou, where's my Lou, Lou!" He called. "Lou! Demons, demons, diablos!"
"Calm down-" Leo tried, getting smacked in the face with the pillow. His counterpart was yelling for Louisa, waving fire when the Louisa before him stepped forward. He jumped off the bed when the door slammed open, running into teenage Louisa and crushing her in a hug. "Lou, help."
"It's OK-"
"Demons."
"It's us. From the future."
"What?"
"Charlie ain't you from another dimension, he's-" Teen Louisa stopped short. Older Leoisa was watching with a little too much attention; Leo was amused at Leo's reaction whereas Louisa seemed to be coming to terms with something.
"Charlie's what?"
"Um…"
"What?" Leo demanded, suddenly worried for his friend. Louisa wouldn't look him in the eye, oddly pink. "Lou?"
"I, um… I-"
"Ugh." Older Louisa rolled her eyes. She marched forward. Teen Leo yelped and clung to his Louisa. "Look, we're you two from the future 'n' Charlie's one of our kids. He lied to stop the timeline from bein' screwed up."
"W-wh-what?" Leo stammered. "You- Charlie- with-" In his panic, he let go of Louisa, but his hysteria drained in seconds, falling to his knees. Both Louisa's helped him back to the bed.
"Your turn." Louisa said to her husband.
"That's tagging." Leo replied, hands on his hips. "And you said we weren't allowed to tag."
"Just do it."
"Yes ma'am." The Louisa's left. Leo took up a seat and said, "I'm absolutely beside myself to meet you."
"Not the time for puns, I feel sick." Younger Leo mumbled, hands over his mouth. Leo gave him a sick bag. "Is… is that true? Charlie is… he's… how?"
"Well, when mammy and daddy love each other very much-"
"Not helping."
"Sorry. You look a little green. How's Buford?"
"What?"
"Buford. The table. Steals clothes."
"I thought- weren't we-?"
"Look, I can talk about that, but you might throw up for real and I've had my fair share of sick, thank you very much." Leo considered the teen for a moment, suddenly realising how elfish and scrawny he had been before. Not that much had changed. "If it makes you feel better, she started it."
"What?"
"Well, she needed my help, but she kissed me first. Sort of. There was a near-kiss and then I kind of got her, but first proper mutually-agreed kiss was her doing."
"How?"
"Easy. You sort of put your mouth on hers-"
"No, I mean… how?"
"Oh thank gods. I couldn't remember how hopeless I'd been as a teen; I'm glad it's not as bad as I thought. Anyway, long story, but… something really bad happened and you- we- we look after her. I know how stubborn she can be, I've been married to her for twenty something years now."
"Wait, married?"
"Yes."
"Lou marries me?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"She has a funny way of showing it, but she loves you. Uh, me. Us? Can I ask you something?" Young Leo stayed quiet, still computing this new detail. "I thought you'd be happy to hear this."
"It's a lot to take in."
"Just listen then." Leo proceeded to tell him everything he could, from the honeymoon kidnapping, to the two months without her- A.K.A torture on both counts- to the ways he helped her, Bradley, secret wedding, Elsie, the miscarriages, Alokia, another miscarriage, Charlie; he told him about the girls, about Festus and home life and his nieces and nephews- "Pretty much a small army."- and then, voice hoarse, he finished, "I get that it's like information overload, but once Lou's on your side, she won't leave without a fight. How are you feeling now?"
"My head's spinning, but… is that all true? Or are you here just to mess with me?" Older Leo smiled. "What changed her mind?"
"Piper tells me Lou did have feelings for me, she just took a while to work it out. I say Valdez charm."
"No-one thought to tell her?"
"Have you tried telling Lou about something she denies?"
"Fair point."
"Just don't give up, OK? I know Alvie's going to wipe your memories, but at least you know it all works out in the end, even on some level."
"Charlie was telling me he had a higher power, but he knew."
"Of course he knew. And, from what I've heard, I think you did too."
"He did remind me of Lou." Leo admitted. "Not just because of his eyes though, I knew they were the same, like Lou in a good mood- things he said or did… he called me padre." He recounted the story, looking to his future self like he was still looking for answers. "I wonder what they're talking about."
"Oh, she's probably watering it down and denying the Valdez charm actually worked. Hey, feeling up to a water fight?"
"No."
"Then let's steal their left socks. Come on, it'll be fun."
"Why the left ones? And does left and right really differentiate between socks?"
"Look, stop being an ass and let's go cause havoc. I'm pretty good at that, even if I do say so myself."
