I wondered if it was apparent to people how red my face is.
It was a good twelve hours after the incident by the railing where in my confusion, I had nearly jumped off the ship but the glow I had since his arms wrapped around mine was still there. I blushed just thinking about it. I wondered why I never felt this way with Lucas; maybe because I didn't hate Nathan. Who could hate him? He was everything a man was supposed to be.
Oh no, what if he thought I was some kind of psycho? I mean I did nearly kill myself… Or he might think I attract trouble. It might be true but I don't want him to think that! Oh God, I have to stop thinking about him, he was taking up my whole brain and I needed to be on my toes right at that moment.
"Oh my God, Haley. I absolutely love your dress" Jane Harrison said as she walked up to me, a champagne glass in her hand. "It is simply divine"
"Where on Earth did you get it, darling?" Emma Lowther piped up next to her.
I looked down at my green cocktail dress and wondered if they were being sarcastic. It was just about the ugliest dress I had ever seen with tiny cap sleeves and a narrow waist and a flared skirt. It wasn't as long as most my dresses were, it ended a few inches below my knee and it had a bareback. I nearly threw up putting it on. But my mother and Lucas told me how lovely they thought I looked and by the look of their steely glances, I knew I had no room for argument.
"Lucas bought it for me" I mumbled out.
"Why, isn't that lovely. He's buying you presents already and you're not even married yet" Jane said. Did I mention she has a thick Southern accent? There's nothing wrong with that but the girl has lived in Paris all her life so how she got that accent is a thought that is beyond me. But I think she has an Uncle from the South so maybe there's where she got it.
"We should have married rich too, Jane" Emma said, smiling as she shook her bright head of locks.
I feigned delight and said with laughter in my voice "you'd only be too lucky"
They looked confused and I don't think they understood me but the next moment, they smiled graciously just as they had been taught all their lives. Someone should shoot them.
"So, tell us, Haley, how do we get a man as wealthy and proper as Mr. Scott?" Emma asked, curiously.
"Well" I said, pretending to think. "Looks are always important but not every one is lucky in that department. I'm sure you know what I mean" I said, smiling pointedly.
They smiled at me, nodding but it was so transparent that they had no idea what I meant. For the first time since this luncheon started, I was having fun.
"I realize that men like women who speak their minds", I said thoughtfully.
"What do you mean, luv?" Jane asked.
"Women who speak what they think" when they remained confused, I continued "You know, women who say things that they think without anyone asking them".
Finally a reaction. They looked shocked. "You mean we speak to men before being spoken to?" Emma asked in a hushed voice.
I nodded, pleased with myself. "Oh and there's one more thing you should do" I leaned in and whispered something in their ears. I wish I could have seen their faces turned from curiosity to confusion and finally to disgust. It would have been such a scene. They stared at me annoyed before turning their skirts and walking away huffed. I had to control myself from laughing too hard. My mother caught my eyes from across the room and she had seen the whole scene, I could tell from the glare she was giving me. That killed my buzz.
I was about to walk to the huge buffet table to get a glass of water when someone suddenly said in a lovely lilting voice "why Haley, how nice to see you again"
I swung around. "Miss Roe" I exclaimed, truly delighted this time. "How are you?"
"I'm good but truthfully the reason why I wanted to talk to you was to tell you that I have noticed from the beginning of this truly awful luncheon that a devastatingly handsome man has had his eyes on you for awhile now"
"Who?" I asked, looking around the huge banquet room.
"Don't be silly, as if any man in this room could be attractive in any way. No, it's a man from outside looking in, child" she said, smiling as she jerked her head at the big glass windows that opened to the deck outside. It was a two-way mirror and I could see the people outside as they could see me.
As I looked out, I caught my breath. Nathan.
"I can cover for you, Miss James" Karen winked at me as she walked away. I smiled at her retreating back before looking around the area to see if anyone was staring at me. I back paced a few feet trying to look as inconspicuous as I could. When my back hit cold marble, I turned around and realized that I was against a pillar. I quickly ducked behind the pillar, my breath coming out in short gasps.
I tiptoed to the huge front doors opening onto the deck and tried to open it as quietly as possible. The huge doors wouldn't budge. I looked around to see if anyone was staring at me and to my relief no one had noticed me yet. I pushed the door again and it didn't move. Annoyed, I shoved against the door making the door shake and a loud sound emitting from it. I looked around again and the noise of me whacking the door had rendered people to turn and stare at me. I bit back a curse and smiled politely at them as I continued trying to open the door.
A waiter came up to me, carrying a tray filled with champagne glasses and whispered "it opens it, ma'am". I smiled at him and then at the people around who was staring at me. Then I turned away, scowling as I pulled the door and slipped out of it. As soon as the cool air hit my skin, I walked a little way and hid behind a wall so the people in the banquet hall couldn't see me. I waited a couple of minutes before I went looking for Nathan. He had disappeared from the place I had spotted him earlier.
I found him standing a little way from the second entrance of the banquet hall. It was on the side that had no windows looking out which made sure that no one could see us. He was standing with a group of other men. They were laughing loudly and a lot of backslapping and boisterous behavior was going on. He hadn't noticed me yet and I took the opportunity to look at him.
In a group of generally good-looking men, he was by far the most handsome one of them all. He was leaning against the railing and the wind was blowing his dark hair slightly. I just realized that it was the first time I had ever seen him laugh freely. His eyes twinkled with amusement and his white teeth gleamed against his face. After a moment, one of his friends noticed me. He nodded at me and nudged Nathan. I straightened my dress as he turned and suddenly saw me. He straightened up quickly and his friends were smirking as they said goodbye to him and left.
And suddenly we were alone.
"Hi" I said softly as I walked up to him.
"Hi" he said as he looked at me closely. "Did you just go to a costume party or something?"
Surprisingly, that made me laugh. I twirled my skirt. "I take it you don't like my dress".
"I'm sorry. That came out wrong" he said. "You look nice"
"Thank you"
"The dress looks nice on you"
"You said that already"
He grinned and then jerked his head at the entrance to the banquet hall. "I saw you inside earlier. You looked like you were having fun", he said, smirking.
I made a slicing movement against my neck and he laughed. "Are the parties you go to always that lively?" he asked.
"Yes actually" I said slightly mournfully. "I've always wanted to see what a real party looks like"
"Nothing like that, I assure you," he said as he moved slightly to his left to make room for me. I stood next to him and leaned my arms against the railing.
"Look about yesterday…" I began before he interrupted me.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Haley" he cut in. "It doesn't matter what I think"
"It doe…" I stopped short, not wanting to tread on unsteady ground. "I just don't want you to think I'm some kind of psycho. I mean nearly every time you see me, I'm on the verge of getting killed", I said lightly.
"Maybe that's because it's the only time you need me", he said just as lightly. But I could hear the strain in his voice. We were looking out at the ocean and I brushed my hair away from my face as the breeze continued to blow against us.
"In that case, I'll stay on the verge of getting killed," I muttered softly.
"Excuse me?" he asked, turning to face me.
"Nothing" I said, embarrassed. "Um…the thing was I… have this really bad sleep walking problem so that's what I was…um doing last night…" I paused. "Sleep walking"
"You were sleep walking?" he asked me skeptically. Then he grinned. "Is this a recurring problem?"
I blushed. "Not really. I mean I had this problem a few years back right after…Right after my dad died but it only lasted a couple of weeks and then it went away. But now it's coming back"
He didn't say anything at first and I wondered if I scared him off with being too informative. But then he looked at me intently and said, "My mother passed away a few years back too"
"Oh" I said surprised that he had caught on to that subject when I had only said it because it was a slip of the tongue. I wondered how much more I should say. I decided to just take a plunge and blurted out "I remember crying every night".
"I know" he said but as soon as he said those words, he bit his lip and turned away, like it was a slip of his tongue. Then he said softly to me "I'm sorry to hear about you dad"
"I'm sorry about your mum"
He looked at me carefully and I could feel goose bumps forming on my hands and legs that had nothing to do with the chilly air. Then he raised an eyebrow and asked me in a carefree way "so, do you have dreams when you sleep walk?"
"Yes" I said slowly then added "but I can never remember them"
"Maybe because when you awake, you think you're still dreaming", he said solemnly but an amusing glint remained in his eyes. I suddenly realized that he was referring to me sleep walking yesterday and having dreams of what was happening in reality.
"I don't dream about you and I certainly wasn't dreaming of you last night if that was what you were implying" I said defensively. He laughed and I shoved him playfully. "You're such a jerk"
We were silent for a while and I enjoyed our moment of peace after all we've been through. I snuck a glance at him and our eyes met. How I loved those dark blue eyes of his… We just stood there staring at him for a while when I suddenly looked away, unable to take the intensity of the moment.
"Hey Haley?" he suddenly said. I turned to face him again and suddenly we were a lot closer than before. Our faces were nearly touching and my heart rate went up a notch.
"Yes?" I whispered.
He looked at me closely as he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears. "I could never think of you as a psycho" he said softly.
He leaned closer to me and for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me but I would never know because Karen came bursting out of the banquet hall. I saw her but I didn't move away from Nathan because to be honest, I knew she wouldn't think of me badly.
"Haley!" she called out when she saw me. "Your mother's looking for you, child"
"I'm coming", I said, not tearing my face away from Nathan's. I heard Karen's retreating footsteps and said quietly to Nathan "I have to go"
"I know" he said softly. I tried to leave but for some reason I couldn't walk away from him. His gaze was hypnotizing me and I wondered if he was bewitching me to fall in love with me. He wouldn't have to. Finally, I said "goodbye" and walked a few paces away. As I walked away from him, I wondered how much it would hurt to never see him again…if it hurt this much if our farewell was only temporary.
"Nathan?" I suddenly said as I turned around and looked at him. He was walking away from me too but he turned around at the sound of my voice. I smiled at him. "I never did thank you" I said before explaining "for saving my life"
He looked at me without saying anything for a moment. Then he smiled.
"Thank you"
