Who You Want To Be
Part Twelve - Brock

Brock pushed his sweaty bangs away from his eyes. He really needed to get it cut, but there was no time for that.

At least it was an option in Pewter City, he silently acknowledged, unlike in Cerulean City at the moment.

Beside him, Forrest sighed deeply and straightened up, cracking his stiff joints. A small smile spread across his brother's face as he said, "It looks great."

Staring at the entrance for the new Pewter City Gym, Brock had to nod his head. "It does." They had all agreed that it would be a disservice to their entire family to not rebuild their gym, but instead of simply making it the way they remembered, using the old floor-plans that still existed, they decided to make something completely different and new.

All of his siblings had input into the design, but it was Cindy who was able to sketch out one that they all liked on the outside, and Susie who came up with some amazing ideas for the interior.

Forrest suddenly laughed, startling Brock a bit. He cast a glance at his younger brother, who shrugged a bit and said, "I was just remembering how ugly the front of the gym was before."

Brock pictured that off-center, plain carving and chuckled. "Dad was many things, but a good designer was not one of them."

Forrest looked like he was about to say something else, but seemed to change his mind at the last minute. "Well, there's a lot left to do. No point standing around, right?"

"Right." Brock couldn't help but be curious about what was on his brother's mind. That was what he did, after all: worry about his siblings.

"Welcome!" A strong voice boomed out over the sound system. "I am Lorelei of the Elite Four! No one can best me when it comes to icy Pokémon!" She put a hand on her hip and smirked. "Freezing moves are powerful. Your Pokémon will be at my mercy when they're frozen solid." She laughed. "Are you ready?"

The arena was a combination of tile, ice and water. It looked pretty treacherous, if Brock was honest.

He looked at Lorelei Prima, renowned ice master, and the member of the current Elite Four who had been with Kanto the longest. It was fitting that she would be the last one before the Champion.

Misty shifted beside him, leaning forward a bit with Pikachu on her lap doing the same. Brock wasn't at all surprised that Misty seemed more than a little eager for this battle. She always had idolized Lorelei.

"He's going to struggle with her a bit," Misty decided, causing Brock to raise an eyebrow. Many ice-types also were classified as water-types, but he would have expected Misty to be much more confident in Ash than that. She blinked, looking up at him briefly as they unleashed their first Pokémon.

Both of them grimaced when they saw Gigalith, and Brock said, "Why would he bring a rock-type?"

"You know Ash, he doesn't always play it by types," Misty reminded him, Pikachu nodding in agreement. "That being said, I know he wasn't expecting to have so much liquid water around from the get-go. I wasn't either when we were going over strategies." She watched Gigalith square off against Lorelei's large Mamoswine.

"Strategies. That's exactly what you were doing." He snorted a bit at the fierce scowl sent his way. "What? You're both adults, albeit, young ones. Do what you want."

"Oh whatever," Misty said with a scowl, accidentally squeezing Pikachu a little too tight. She patted the Pokémon's head after he squeaked, and then looked at Brock. "You're just jealous."

"Hey, I'm with Lucy now. No reason to be jealous."

Turning her attention to the battle, Misty apparently decided she could multitask enough to ask, "How's that going anyway?"

A smile spread across Brock's features as he looked from her to the battle. "Good. It's going really good."

With a tired huff, Brock slumped onto Golem's hard side. "You said you needed practice being at a disadvantage." He looked up and glared at his friend. "Tauros-shit."

Ash laughed as he flopped onto the ground, crossing his legs. "They were at a disadvantage." Brock snorted. "All of them are weak against rock-types, you know that. Some of them were being a little too cocky too and needed the challenge." He side-eyed Charizard, who snorted smoke at him as he laid on his side.

Brock shook his head and chuckled. "Well he did win, so there's that." He stretched out a bit on the grass, moving away from Golem so the Pokémon wouldn't accidentally roll on him again. "It's been a while since I've battled. It was fun." He looked at Ash teasingly. "If I had a gym badge, I'd give it to you. You actually won it this time."

Ash blew a raspberry in his direction. "You gave it to me eight years ago. No take-backs." He shrugged off his sweater and moved so that he was laying alongside Brock, staring up at the sky. He let out an 'oof' as Pikachu jumped onto his belly, curling up into a ball. "You know, if I could do that again, go back to when I was a shitty little 10-year-old, I'd make sure I actually won all my badges. Not just earned them. Maybe I would have been readier for the league. Maybe I would have been more ready for him." He nodded back at Charizard.

"Maybe," Brock agreed. "But there's really no point looking back and wondering what if. It won't change the past." His eyes darted towards Ash, who fidgeted a bit and frowned, stretching his arms out over his head.

That's when he saw something that made his breath catch in his throat. Without any hesitation, he sat up and grabbed Ash's arm, looking at the long, pink marks on his arms that had clearly been healed very recently.

Startled, Ash sat up abruptly, but was unable to tug his arm away from Brock's firm, but not painful grasp. Pikachu rolled onto his lap and looked up at them with confusion.

"They're scratches! I promise!" Ash said, clearly realizing what Brock was alarmed about. "I was training with Ria and she swung around and the spike on her hand got my arm. You can ask her if you don't believe me."

"Chaa," Pikachu nodded in agreement with Ash's story.

Brock exhaled deeply. He didn't even realize that he was holding his breath. "Alright. I believe you. Sorry. I just…" He let go of Ash's hand. "I'm sorry for grabbing you like that. I panicked. You know that if things are bothering you, you can talk to me, right?"

Ash smiled at him fondly. "It's okay. I know Misty told you about how bad of a place I was in at one point – and it's okay that she told you, she told me too. I guess…I could see why you'd think that, but I swear, I haven't and won't hurt myself like that." He hesitated for a moment, and almost bashfully added, "I'm getting a lot better. Or, I think I am."

Clapping a hand on his shoulder, Brock nodded eagerly. "Yes, you are. I'm proud of you, buddy." He genuinely meant that. Ash had decided to be very forward with everyone about his struggles with PTSD after Team Rocket's takeover, not shying away from getting help or talking to others about it. It took him a while to get to that stage, but it was extremely admirable in Brock's eyes.

Thoughtful brown eyes looked down at Pikachu for a moment, who tilted his head, glanced at Brock, and looked back at his trainer before nodding. Ash nodded back and looked at him. "There still are bad days sometimes. I just…there are nightmares or sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed, but you know, that's okay. I know you'll do it anyway, but you really don't have to worry about me."

"Like you said, I'll do it anyway."

"Shh I'm in the middle of spilling important thoughts," Ash hissed teasingly, before quickly switching back to a more serious tone. "You have a lot on your plate too and I…you're one of my best friends, Brock. You were one of the first people I met that liked me for me – even though I was a smug little brat - and didn't turn away when things got bad. You may be older than me, but if you need anything, you know I'm here for you too, right?"

There was a burning behind Brock's eyes that he fiercely pushed away. "Don't worry about me."

"That's what family does though." Ash stated this so fiercely, that any type of rebuttal died in Brock's throat. "I mean it. I don't care if it's three in the morning before a league match or something. If you need me, call me or barge into my room or whatever. Even if it's just to get away, have a battle, or lay around and do nothing."

"Thank you, Ash." Oh hell, Brock didn't quite know how to deal with this. He needed to lighten the air between them. "It is what family does, but family also doesn't barge in without knocking because if female company is over there are some things I don't need to see."

Ash blinked in confusion before his face turned bright red. "Brock!" Pikachu snorted, and his trainer gently tapped him on the head.

"What? You guys are like my younger siblings. Don't need to know!" He laughed as Ash growled at him. Though his laughter died down, his smile stayed on his face. "You know, I didn't need any more siblings, but I'm glad I got the two of you. I was honestly a bit worried at first that it'd just be more of the same, but at least I was on the road. You two were different though. More independent. Sure, I love May, Max, and Dawn too in their own ways, but it was a bit different. You two took care of yourselves, of each other…and you took care of me too."

Brock could still clearly remember the confusion he felt when Ash and Misty had taken care of him when he was sick once. They packed him into his sleeping bag with some medicine, and he figured he'd have a quick nap and wake up to cook. When he woke up, the camp was made, store-bought food was ready for him (bless them and knowing their cooking skills were awful), there was a fire, fresh water, all the Pokémon were fed, and more importantly, Ash and Misty weren't fighting at all. They had put aside any silly little arguments between them for his sake.

He couldn't remember the last time someone did that for him before that. Even when his parents were there, he tended to help out like a third parent more than anything.

Ash stared at him with an odd expression that slowly morphed into a smile that he was trying to hold back. A laugh escaped his lips, and Brock couldn't help but be a bit offended. He was spilling his heart out here.

"Sorry, sorry," Ash waved his hands. "I'm not laughing at you. It's just…you know that Misty and I basically adopted you when we were ten, right?'

He stared. "What?" His eyes darted to Pikachu, who confirmed this with a nod.

"Yeah." Ash was positively bouncing on the spot with excitement. "We argued over who had custody and everything! Well, until that time you wanted the ghost girlfriend. We decided we needed joint custody to keep you in line." His smile turned smug. "Clearly I won since you kept traveling with me."

He blinked at his friend before snorting. "Unbelievable. Is that how she always knew I was with you again?"

"Had to let her know I won."

"And after Sinnoh?"

"You were going off to university. You didn't need us anymore."

Brock knew what he meant, but shook his head in disagreement. "That's far from the truth." These two, honestly. He couldn't help but feel warm inside hearing about this. He could actually see ten-year-old Ash and Misty arguing over who got to keep him. They had probably even battled over it. It wouldn't be the first time that happened.

Ash smiled at him again. "We'd do almost anything for you, you know that, right? On my own, with Mist, or just her. We've got your back. All of us do."

"Pi pikachu!" Pikachu chimed in agreement, jumping over to Brock's shoulder and nuzzling his cheek against him.

The young man looked towards the ground, a smile growing across his face as he struggled to hide his tears.

"I know."

"...Tracey really seems to be doing so much better. I actually helped him pick out an engagement ring for his girlfriend! She's actually Misty's sister. Oh! Speaking of Misty, I think she's finally letting go of the reins of the gym a little bit. She's actually gone with Ash to the Seafoam Islands for training! And Ash, what's not to be proud of with him? It's amazing how far he's come, considering what he had to go through!"

Brock's therapist was a rather beautiful woman with dark brown eyes and vivid purple hair. She was tall and shapely, exactly the type he would have normally went for once upon a time. Now it didn't even occur to him. Not since he and Lucy tentatively began dating. Maybe he still got a tiny bit flustered, but that was fine!

It was probably a good thing that he wasn't fawning over her. It let him see her more clearly, and judging from her raised eyebrow, she wasn't exactly happy with his excited rant.

"It's good that your friends are doing well," she spoke up when she realized that he was done talking for now. "I always recommend surrounding yourself with positivity, as long as it's not too much for you. However, how about we talk about something…a little closer to home?"

"Oh, I can do that." Brock felt a little sheepish about that. Of course, he wasn't in therapy to talk about his friends. "I think my brothers and sisters are responding and coping really well to the people they talk to. The whole Rocket takeover thing was traumatizing for them, especially since they lost their parents and—."

"They lost their parents?"

He blinked at her interruption. "Sorry, I meant our parents."

"Are you sure?" She leaned forward a bit. "This isn't our first session, Brock, and yet I feel like I know your friends and family more than I know you at this point. It's good to care about others so much. It's really amazing, but I'm more interested in you."

Him? What could he say about him? He had been relatively safe for quite a while. Sure, he joined up with the G-Men and did a lot of research, planning, and he even spoke face-to-face with a thought-to-be-dead crime lord. His parents may have died, but he wasn't there to see it.

Delia Ketchum laying in a hospital bed after being stabbed passed through his mind. Domino had done that to her.

"Domino."

"Domino?" the therapist repeated. Brock was taken back. He didn't mean to speak out loud. "What's that?"

"She…she was a high ranking member of Team Rocket."

"Why does she matter?"

"She doesn't."

"Brock," she said, "there is no shame in focusing on yourself. Your own thoughts and feelings. While you're here with me, it's okay to push aside responsibility and anyone else. I'm here to help you. Not the world." She paused. "This Domino must be important."

He thought for a moment. Domino had caused so much damage, but what she had done to Delia Ketchum stood out even more than their encounter at the Tree of Beginning, more than the fact that his parents had actually been killed.

What did that say about him if he thought about a woman who wasn't actually his mother almost dying, before he thought about his own parents dying?

Brock wasn't sure he wanted to know.

The words before Brock seemed to warp and lift off of the page as he read them intently. He was so engulfed in the thick, medical book, only lifting his head to double check his own notes, that he didn't even notice the door open, and a tall figure enter. He didn't notice them set two drinks on the coffee table in front of him.

What he did notice was them putting a hand on his shoulder.

He jumped, nearly tossing the book aside as he looked around, only to come face to face with a tall drink. He let out a deep breath and looked up into warm, red eyes. "Thanks." He took the cup from her, inhaling the scent of sweet, sweet coffee. He took a sip of the liquid and looked up at the clock. "Oh, wow! I didn't realize how late it was! And you came all this way to hang out this weekend."

Lucy laughed as she sat beside him on the couch. "It's okay. I'd rather you prep for your exam coming up anyway! I've been going through this paper work!"

He stared at her dryly. "You came to visit me and you brought paper work. I'm a terrible boyfriend."

She shook her head, and Brock was pretty sure she rolled her eyes. "Don't sulk. It's okay right now. Exams are important, just like getting the Battle Frontier back up and running is important."

He frowned at that. "I thought that they weren't starting the Battle Frontier again until next year."

"They aren't," Lucy explained as she stretched out. "The League is really pushing us to get everything ready as soon as possible. Makes sense, since it's going to take a while to fix everything Team Rocket ruined. Lance is almost frantic about getting so many things in place." She hesitated for a moment. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say…"

"What?" He prompted.

"I'd say he's worried about the Indigo Conference."

Brock paused as he thought about that. Looking up at her, he said, "Maybe he should be."

"Maybe," Lucy agreed, reaching down and digging through a bag Brock hadn't noticed until now. "It gives me a lot more work."

"I promise, as soon as my exams are over, we'll go on a proper date to a nice place."

She smiled. "I'll hold you to it. If Lance and Brandon don't off me first with paper work. For now though, don't feel bad. I've got work and you're studying hard to save the world!"

With a laugh, Brock said, "Maybe. A single person would be good enough for me."

She grabbed a pen and brought her paper work close to her as she curled up beside him. "You'll be greater than that. I just know it."

Brock chuckled, and both of them settled back into a comfortable silence.

"I've been thinking a lot," Brock said while staring down at his hands. His therapist didn't say anything, but he knew that she was listening. It was her job, after all. He also knew that she was going to wait for him to speak.

"I've been thinking long and hard about it," he continued. "I do have some good memories of my parents from when I was really young, but…they were horrible to me. I was ten, and mom left me with nine siblings, two that were infants. My dad took off a little while later. Sure, he was always around, but I didn't know that. Who does that to their child?"

"It is quite distressing," she agreed with him. He stared at her and she added, "Jerks do that to their children…to put it nicely." Brock appreciated the fact that she probably wanted to say more colourful words about them, even if she kept it to herself.

"We should have been taken in by social services," Brock said, though the thought made him feel queasy. "I didn't want to acknowledge that either. A part of me still thinks that it shouldn't matter. They were still my parents. They saved my brothers and sisters."

"It's true, they did," she said. "And you can accept that, remember them fondly for it, but you can still resent everything else that they've done."

Brock nodded his head, twisting his hands together again. He looked up at her and said, "Would it be selfish to just…leave for a bit? Step back from everything and just…" He shrugged.

The woman smiled at him. "Taking some time to focus on yourself is not at all selfish. From everything you've told me, I don't think that'll be easy for you, but it probably is something you need. It's definitely something you deserve."

Awe rushed through Brock as Infernape stood over Lorelei's Alolan Sandslash. The latter tried to get back up, but ended up collapsing to the ground.

Before any of them could cheer, Lorelei's voice boomed through the room. "How dare you!"

Ash took a step back, clearly startled. They all watched as Lorelei recalled her Sandslash, and shook her head. She looked down at the floor, her next words coming out much softer. "You're better than I thought." She looked back up at him. "Much better. You've done it, Ash Ketchum. You've defeated the Elite Four. The Champion awaits your challenge tomorrow, so you've only gotten a taste of the Pokémon League's power."

Any anger vanished as she smiled. "I remember you from when you were younger. We met once. I don't know what will happen in the future, none of us do. We just have to do what we can here and now."

"He did it," Misty whispered. "He really did it." She smiled and laughed, hugging Pikachu close.

Misty's words sent a ripple through their group, and they were cheering and laughing. Brock couldn't keep the smile off of his face. The boy that had failed miserably against him in his first ever gym challenge had beaten the Elite Four.

He couldn't help but feel more than a little bit proud. It wasn't over yet though, and Brock would be there for Ash, no matter what happened next.

"Brock! Can you come here for a minute!" Forrest called out.

Brock looked up from where he had been going over some notes. It worried him a bit that Forrest was in the kitchen, but surely his brother wouldn't set something on fire again and leave everything for Salvador and Yolanda, who were much better cooks.

He got up and walked into the room, coming to an immediate stop when he saw all of his siblings standing before him.

"What did you do?" The question came out before he could stop it, a bit of a stern tone to it.

"I told you," Tommy said to the others.

"It's nothing bad!" Cindy assured him.

He chose to remain wary, but moved close to them. Forrest took a step forward and held out a small box neatly wrapped with green paper and orange ribbons. He blinked with confusion, and slowly reached forward, taking it into his hand. "What's this for?"

"Just open it!" Tilly said, the 12-year-old practically bouncing with excitement.

Brock slowly took apart the paper, raising an eyebrow at a velvet, black box. He opened it, his breath leaving him as he picked up a beautiful, oddly thick pocket watch. "I—wow. This is amazing! I don't really know what to say!"

"We all pitched in together to buy it," Billy said proudly.

"It took us a little while to find it," Yolanda admitted. "And we did end up asking Ash for help, but it was worth it."

Looking up at them, Brock raised an eyebrow. "Why did Ash have to help you find a pocket watch?"

Snorts of laughter met his question. Salvador shook his head. "Open it."

Pressing the button to open the cover and see the clock inside, his breath caught in his throat. Around the edge was the time, but instead of the hands of a clock, the little numbers lit up as the seconds went by. In the middle of it laid a multicoloured stone, a black symbol shimmering on the inside. "You got me a mega stone." Was that his voice cracking like he was 13 again?

"Well, we wanted to get you something, and figured that you had a Steelixite but no way to activate it, so it seemed like a good idea," Susie said, clapping her hands together. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? You guys…this is amazing." He blinked back the tears prickling behind his eyes. "I can't begin to thank you enough." He knew how hard it was to find mega stones, and would definitely be asking Ash about this later, since Brock knew for a fact that he hadn't even found one for Misty yet (they shared one).

"You're the one I remember taking care of me," Tilly said, startling him a bit. "Not mom or dad. It was always you."

"You ran a gym when you were still a kid, younger than any of us are now," Billy added.

"All while cleaning up after us," Timmy said.

"You made sure we were happy and healthy by packing us lunches and having breakfast and supper ready," Susie said.

"You walked us to school before running back to open the gym on time, all while doing your own school work too," Cindy added.

"You even came to talk to the teachers when some of us," Tommy's eyes shifted, "who were definitely not me, got into trouble."

"You were our mother, and our father. Sure, we had mom and dad later on too, but it wasn't the same," Salvador added.

"We got you that to thank you. Thank you for being the parent that we needed. It wasn't fair that you had to lose your childhood because mom and dad were selfish. We all know that's how you'll always be, but we're older now. We can take care of ourselves, but it's not just that," Yolanda explained.

Forrest nodded his head. "We want to help you too. We got you that to show you how much we appreciate everything you've done, but it really isn't enough. We want you to let us help take care of you too. We did have the best person teaching us, right?"

Oh hell. Brock couldn't hold back the tears now. "Get over here." Chaos ensued as they all jumped on each other, more a Growlithe-pile than a group hug. It didn't matter to Brock though.

What mattered was that he loved his family, and they loved him. No matter what had happened with their parents in the past, nothing would rip apart their real family.

Note

This chapter, especially the end, was oddly emotional to write. Bless Brock and everything he does for everyone he loves.

Thank you to the following people for reviewing: UGX7, Animation Adventures, Guest, ImmortalReaders, Ilwynoges, cake0108, Guest #2, and Fox the Writer!

About Gary's chapter: there really isn't enough scenes with him and Professor Oak. And it was never my intention to take characters and make them all super likeable or anything, you can still dislike them even in my stories, but I tried to make them more well-rounded.

Mental health issues are very important to me, and while I can't identify with exactly what these guys are going through, I do have anxiety and depression myself, so I'm trying to at least do these guys a little bit of justice.

The way this universe works, so there's no confusion: there's the league conference where you can become the tournament champion if you win. Then the tournament champion (Ash in this case) can face the Elite 4 (Piper, Koga, Blaine, Lorelai) before they face the regional Champion (Lance). Red is above all of them. There are a ton of conditions you have to meet to be able to face Red, and one of them is being a regional Champion.

And for the record, I am always planting little seeds for potential story lines. The problem is inspiration. I know what happens in this universe but writing it down is a different thing. If I feel like it though, at least the foreshadowing is already there!

I think that's all for now . Hope you liked this chapter!

Til next time,

Written by Skylight Sparkle
Edited by EchidaPower