Author's Note:
Hey, Smiles555fofo here! Yeah, I'm tired of myself too, but what can I do? I'm myself.
Oh, and on the weekends I have sleeping disorder. Staying awake until 5 AM then waking up at 7 PM isn't really a good thing. Hmm, doesn't that make it 14 hours in total?
Whatever. Please take a look at 7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH THE STUPID AKATSUKI! It originally was from , but I posted it two years ago. After reading it again, I kind of thought that something I have made up that long ago was somewhat humorous, so I decided to share it with you folk.
Have a fun time with your life.
Oh, and my opinion on art? Well, I was pretty amazing at art back then. * smug look * But I support neither nor of Deidara's or Sasori's opinions. You will hear mine as you read the chapter.
"That's not a very good answer, Bun-Bun, un," Mr. Deidara sighed. He frowned, though his eyes looked as if they were pouting. Pouting that my answer was not worthy.
I nearly choked the digested food that originally took form of an apple. I held my breath and looked up, but not at Mr. Deidara who was looking at my way.
I'm pretty sure that "Bun-Bun" was taking it a bit too far.
"Don't antagonize the girl," Mr. Sasori monotonously said.
"What? All I did was tell her that her answer wasn't good, un," Mr. Deidara protested. "She should have said that art was fleeting or something that would have supported the actual reason, un!"
"And of course, you just wanted her to say anything that had to relate your opinion," Mr. Sasori sighed.
"No, the real reason, un."
"Which is?"
"Don't make me go through this again, Sasori, un," Mr. Deidara grumbled.
Once I have calmed down, I blew a gust of air out and sucked it back in.
Hearing Mr. Deidara call me such was, um, really disorienting. But not that I haven't heard anything that wasn't before. Mr. Tobi would be one of my prime examples. I would have given myself a self-lecture for using sweet Mr. Tobi like that, but he constantly keeps calling me "Bunny", and that always makes me so very embarrassed! I even tried telling him to stop, but he never listens!
Sometimes I find my doubts if he really received a license to be a teacher.
"Hey, Bunny," Mr. Deidara said, which much to my relief that he didn't use "Bun-Bun", "do you seriously think that art is just merely drawing, un?"
I shook my head. "I-I, um, was just not t-t-th-thinking clearly," I sputtered, looking down at my lap. "I a-a-am s-sorry."
Though I couldn't see it, I knew that Mr. Deidara was giving a disapproving frown down at me. It was almost like a lecture without any words!
I broke into a cold sweat. I wonder why Mr. Deidara was giving me such a look. Was my answer not what he wanted to hear? He did hear me apologize, right? Then…what?
As I waited for Mr. Deidara to answer, I felt my throat swell up with tears and agony. Oh! Oh! Oh why did I have to be born with such weakness? Why do I have to feel like crying over such small things? Am I truly that pathetic? What about my resolution in being stronger, like how Ino and Sakura are? Am I going to be a failure at that as well as anything else that I try to accomplish?
"Sheesh, you shouldn't have to apologize," Mr. Deidara sighed.
I looked up so quickly that gave my neck a small crack. I knew that I had given Mr. Deidara a look of stupefied and shock because he looked rather taken a back.
He raised an eyebrow with a quizzical tilt of his head. "W-what, un? Did I say something wrong, un?"
"You stuttered," Mr. Sasori pointed.
Mr. Deidara's shoulder jerked back. He gave a bewildered scowl. "What the hell are you talking about, un? I-I did no such thing, un!"
"You just stuttered again."
"I just had spit caught at the back of my throat, un," Mr. Deidara huffed.
"Uh huh," Mr. Sasori snorted.
Mr. Deidara's scowl softened, but it was still there. "Don't make shit like that again, man, un."
Mr. Sasori merely grunted.
"Anyway," Mr. Sasori said, "I am rather interested in what expression Hyuuga had made to cause Deidara to stutter like that. Usually, he doesn't. Except that one time when he found out what everybody had given him on his seventeenth birthday."
"Sasori!" Mr. Deidara shouted. "Don't you dare, un!"
"What on earth are you shouting for, you dolt? Were you thinking that I would have told Hyuuga here what we had given you?"
"No, un! Don't, un!" Mr. Deidara gasped in a dreadful tone. He almost sounded so pleading that had brought me into shock, again. Mr. Deidara was always this cool and strict man who held some sadistic power. He was quick tempered though. Like when someone had accidentally flung paint at him while he was fooling around with his friends, Mr. Deidara was enraged so he scolded the boys and sent them to the principal's office. His tone was stern, which made him frightening. Everybody was silent afterwards, not daring to make a peep.
"Heh, look at you. Perhaps I should tell her what happened, just to see how vulnerable you would act," Mr. Sasori mused.
"You better not, un!"
"Well, when we were in high school, Deidara and I were in our junior year while—"
"Sasori, un!" Mr. Deidara cried. "I'm begging you!"
In the review mirror, I could see Mr. Sasori raising an eyebrow. "Oh?" he said. "Can this be right? Are you, the temperamental and prideful Deidara—second to Hidan, truly are begging?"
"For mercy, un."
"What a laugh," but he said that with a monotone.
I didn't know that I had been holding in my laughter, that until I felt some pressure trying to escape my lips. And that pressure did come out. I burst out into fits of giggles. I had to admit, Mr. Sasori's and Mr. Deidara's quarrels are, in fact, the funniest things ever! Especially when they have to bicker something about art!
"Uh, Bunny?" Mr. Deidara said. "What's so funny, un?"
"I-I am s-s-sorry! But b-both of you are!" I giggled, bringing my hands to my to my lips to try and muffle the laughter.
"We're…funny, un?"
I nodded while wearing a smile.
Then I gasped out, "Oh no!" I looked up at him with wide eyes. "I-I-I-I am sorry!" I cried. "I d-didn't mean to laugh a-at both of you!"
Now I felt critically ashamed about smiling like that. Why am I laughing while Mr. Deidara was obviously not having a good time? How insincere of me!
"Dammit, stop it, un!" Mr. Deidara groaned.
"I-I'm sorry! I shouldn't have laughed like that!"
"No! I mean by the constant apologizing, un!"
I blinked.
"Don't give me that look, un. That was the same look that cause your history teacher to think that I stuttered, un. Which I didn't, un."
"Are you saying that my hearing is not adequate, Deidara?" Mr. Sasori said.
"Nah, just saying that you're delusional, un."
"Don't put me up in the same position as that obnoxious Tobi, you moronic fool. Now thanks to you, we're in an irrelevant topic."
"What's with you and adjectives, un?"
"What's with you and you're taste in art?"
Mr. Deidara gawked towards the driving teacher, who only had his gaze fixated forward.
"You did not just go there, un," Mr. Deidara slowly said.
"So Hyuuga," Mr. Sasori said, changing the topic completely. I perked up at the mention of my name. But when I looked up, I saw Mr. Deidara fuming, looking a bit dramatic.
"Don't change the damn topic, un!" Mr. Deidara shouted.
"What now? All I was going to say to Hyuuga was what we have gotten you on your seventeenth birthday."
"No, un! Don't you dare, un!"
"Then what Tobi had did on your eighteenth birthday?"
"What, un? How the hell did we get into that?"
"On his eighteenth birthday, everybody couldn't think of a present to give to—"
"Answer the fucking question, Sasori, un!"
Then Mr. Sasori slowly turned his gaze at Mr. Deidara, which was very funny. "Wanted to change the freaking topic, dolt," he had said.
Mr. Deidara's eye twitched, which was very, very funny. "What the hell!"
"What?"
"It's just…argh!"
"What, Deidara?"
"When you freaking turned your head, it looked so damn weird, un! Creepy!"
"Thought so, un." Mr. Sasori froze, even though he was driving! But I knew why he froze. He accidentally said Mr. Deidara's catch phrase, well, if it can be labeled as one. It's a single word, or I think it is. A grunt? Uh…I guess so…
But you kind of have to accidentally say something like that after Mr. Deidara had continuously repeated it over and over and over again. I wonder why he says it, though.
I saw Mr. Deidara blinked confusingly, looking at Mr. Sasori's way.
"I didn't say that. You're imagining," Mr. Sasori calmly said, now collecting himself.
"What, un? What'd you say, un?"
But Mr. Sasori didn't answer; though he did looked irritated from the review mirror.
I was giggling again, though I tried my best not to make it noticeable like last time. I didn't want Mr. Sasori to know that I was laughing at him while he was being distressed.
But unfortunately, they did hear me.
"You heard what he said, Bunny?" Mr. Deidara asked, grinning enthusiastically.
"U-um, yes," I answered.
"What'd he say, un?"
"Don't you dare," Mr. Sasori said in a frightening and commanding manner.
I flinched. "I'm v-very s-sorry—"
"Bunny, you got to stop this," Mr. Deidara sighed. "Haven't I told you this in, what, a thousand times, un? There is no need for you to apologize, un. So stop it, un."
I nodded. "I-I'm so—"
"What did I just say, un!"
"Oh! I'm so—"
"Bunny, un!"
"So—"
"Bunny, un!"
"I—"
"For the love of explosions, un! If the only thing you're going to say are apologies, then don't speak at all, un!" Mr. Deidara barked loudly.
"B-b-b-but I-I-I-I w-wasn't going to…" I whimpered. I forced myself to swallow any pathetic tone of voices. Whimpering was definitely not an out-going-person character trait!
I shook my head and said, "I'm so—I mean, I wanted to say that thank you for, um, h-helping me, M-Mr. Deidara."
It was true. When he told me at first when I didn't have to apologize, I was incredibly dumbfounded. Usually, I always felt that most of my actions were mistakes that I regretted making. I was sure that apologizing was always the answer in order to patch things up, but what was the use if it made me feel pitiable?
I truly am grateful for Mr. Deidara for pointing out such a thing to me. I suppose that I shouldn't apologize for every little thing, because not every move I make is something worth apologizing.
Mr. Deidara looked at me with wide eyes, then looked away, scratching his head. "Well, um, no problem, un," he mumbled.
"I-I really am grateful!" I said.
"It's okay, un! No need to thank me, un."
"B-but truly—"
"How about we stop this and point out the flaws of this," Mr. Sasori cut in.
"Good, cause I was about to tell her to stop from thanking me, un," Mr. Deidara sighed.
Oh no! I'm being annoying!
"You really aren't used to being complimented, huh Deidara?"
Mr. Deidara didn't say anything. Instead, there was a blush on his cheek. I was surprised. Even a sadistic teacher like him can blush! But why did he blush?
"Well, Hyuuga, don't take everything your art teacher says seriously. Especially when it comes to morals. He's a prime idiot when it comes to that," Mr. Sasori said.
"O-o-oh, w-well, um, okay," I mumbled.
"Hey, what do you mean by that, un?" Mr. Deidara demanded, frowning.
But Mr. Sasori ignored him. "You shouldn't stop apologizing from then on, otherwise people will still have their feelings hurt."
"Since when did you care about peoples' feelings, un? Aren't you the coldest person there is, un?"
"Shut up, Deidara. And secondly, something that your art teacher has actually been sensible at, you shouldn't exaggerate on your apologies. Makes you weak."
"Trying to redeem yourself, O'Mighty Cold One, un?" Mr. Deidara wisecracked.
"Get a brain transplant."
"Surprises me that you don't have siblings, un."
"You shouldn't be talking. You don't have any, so how would you know?"
"You haven't been on a mission long enough with Itachi, un. You can practically sense the compassionate brotherly love from him, un."
"From that emotionless thing?"
"Heh, you're emotionless yourself, Sasori, un."
"Shut up. Now how does brotherly love relate to brain transplants?"
"Hmm, I was thinking about siblings driving one another mad, not caring each other, un. Well then, all I can say is that it is no wonder that you don't have siblings since I brought Itachi up, un."
"Ah." Mr. Sasori paused. "How am I being drove into madness?"
"Because, ah, well, look at you, un. Anyone could tell, un."
"Deidara?"
"Yeah, un?"
"Shut up."
I would say that Mr. Deidara is much like a younger brother to Mr. Sasori. They definitely act like brothers.
Speaking of which, I'm not exactly too sure if Mr. Deidara's theory was correct. Or maybe it was since he had mentioned about this Itachi person being caring towards his, um…does he have a sibling? Well, Mr. Deidara did mention siblings and brought this person up, so I'm guessing that Itachi does have a sibling or more.
I wonder what kind of brother Itachi is? Must be a very nice one, even though he is emotionless, or so Mr. Sasori had said. I wonder if he's like Neji. Neji is my cousin, but I see him very much like an older brother. He is responsible, amazing, intelligent, speaks with authority, and, well, is rather perfect in every single way.
Though, Neji and I did not get along very well in the past. I was extremely frightened of him because of his cold exterior. He often gave me glares and told me that I was weak and unfit to live as a Hyuuga. I was afraid that he was right. Then Naruto came along. He angered Neji after he stood up for me, then they had a fistfight. Naruto won and told Neji what it means to live.
I was sure that I was not the only person to be touched. In fact, all three of us were touched. I cried because I never stood up for myself because I was pathetic, and that I was happy that someone had saved Neji and me.
Naruto cried because not that he had gotten hurt, but that he had "always wanted someone to look out for".
Neji did not cry, of course, but looked at me with an extremely sadden expression. He continuously apologized to me and explained why he had always shunned me. He told me that he did not hated for who I was, but what I had. He envied me. He was angry because his father and mother had all died at a young age, while I had everything. I cried even more afterwards.
From that day on, Neji had been the most loving brother I know. And from that day on, I found myself another reason why I had fallen in love with Naruto.
Though Neji had been cold to me in the past, he never had acted such a way towards Hanabi. It was because Hanabi proved to be worthy enough of a Hyuuga than I had ever been. This, it was obvious that it was true.
Not that I was ever jealous of my younger sister, but rather proud. She was my sister, after all, and I love her like how I love Neji. But Hanabi was amazing at practically anything. She was also very pretty and graceful. It was funny how such an elegant and graceful little thing could be related to a clumsy and timid me.
But one thing that I was bewildered about was her personality. Never was she prideful or looked down upon what a weak older sister she had. She just simply didn't care if she was better than I was. She just went on with her life. I just wished that I could be like that, except I have something to fix: myself.
"Bunny, hey, hey, un."
I blinked and looked up. "H-huh?"
"You were zoning off, un," Mr. Deidara said. "Were we that boring, un?"
"W-what? N-no! Of course not!"
"Heh, okay," Mr. Deidara chirped, smiling. "But you know, you were so quiet that we hardly noticed that you were there, un. You should speak out more, un."
"Ah, I-I'll try." I smiled sheepishly. I guess I had learned another important thing from Mr. Deidara. Wow. He's so influential. Maybe I should take characteristic classes from him!
"Good, cause that way you won't end up being like Sasori when he was in high school, un."
"Idiot," Mr. Sasori muttered.
"Well that wasn't nice, un."
"You know that I was referring to you, right?"
"You're reference that I'm an idiot is really off, un."
"Don't start with me."
"If I made a reference that you act just like that old geezer who used to live right next to my house when we were in high school, well then, that would have made much more sense, un."
"You mean the one who would usually shoot these wrinkled glares at us whenever we walked by his house?"
"Yeah, that one, un. The one who always took out his freaky looking doll and needles and go outside and sit on his lawn chair and glare at everybody whoever passes by his house, un. Whoa, what a mouthful, un."
"And he would stab that doll with the needle, too. I remember that one."
"Oh yeah, un. I forgot about that one, un."
"What do you think he would do with a needle and a doll? Play dress up?"
"Shit Sasori, don't make it sound obvious. Anyway, wasn't he the one who swore at us for no reason, then had a heart attack, un?"
"No. He swore at us for walking on his lawn, then had a seizure because you were really pissed off and used a taser on him. Then I had to call an ambulance."
What!
"Should have left him to die there, Sasori, un." Mr. Deidara grinned.
"You really are lucky that no one had seen you back then."
"I know, un. I know, un."
Then Mr. Sasori sighed. "Okay, how the hell am I like that old man? I mean, I don't shoot wrinkly glares of death just because someone trespasses my territory."
"Uh, because you two play with dolls, un."
"I don't…. I don't…Deidara, I use puppets."
"How manly, un."
"Deidara?"
"What, un?"
"Shut up."
"You tasered an elderly man?" I asked suddenly, finding my voice to sound odd.
"If you live right next to him, you would understand my situation, un," Mr. Deidara said, rubbing the back of his head.
"But…tasering him?"
"Wow Deidara, what a role model you are," Mr. Sasori snorted.
"I know, un. I know, un."
I kind of regret thinking that Mr. Deidara would make a wonderful and influential person after all.
"So Hyuuga, what do you think about art?" Mr. Sasori suddenly asked.
"H-huh?"
"What the hell, Sasori? That was…irreverent."
"That's irrelevant, dolt. Irreverent means blasphemous, which you are, actually."
"That's a the former English teacher for you, un. A round of applause, un," Mr. Deidara said sarcastically, actually applauding.
"Well I can't help it if—"
"I know, un. I know, un. You can't help it if I'm an idiot."
"Which—"
"I know, un. I know, un. Which I am."
"Deidara—"
"I know, un. I know, un. Deidara, shut up."
"Right then. So Hyuuga?"
"Huh?" I looked up.
"Oh my gosh, she wasn't paying attention."
"Well, she can't help it if you're so bl-bla-blaphemo-blaphemonmonmonmon-blabla—what the hell to it, un."
"You just gotta love him to death, huh?" Mr. Sasori said sarcastically.
I meekly smiled and shrugged. "U-um, well, the tasering part was r-r-rather…"
"Oh shitty-ness, she's still onto that one, un? Bunny, that geezer was evil!" Mr. Deidara exclaimed. "Even Sasori agrees with me, un! Right, Sasori?"
"He was pure evil," Mr. Sasori said with a monotone.
"Hey, put some feeling into it, man! You're a teacher, for crying out loud, un."
"What does 'putting feeling into it' have to do with me being a teacher?"
Mr. Deidara swirled his head towards me and smiled kindly, which was very disturbing. "So, Bun-Bun-Bun, isn't art obviously just so explosive?" he said with a wacky tone of voice.
Though he had called me that ridiculous name, with thrice the matter, I ducked my head with my hands to suppress another laugh. How is it possible that these two teachers always make me want to laugh? They are so unlikely!
Mr. Sasori is an apathetic person who acts as if he doesn't care about the human race itself.
Mr. Deidara is sadistic and can be frighteningly stern.
But when you put these two together, they can make a wonderful comedic duo. I just wished that Mr. Deidara had never tasered that poor man, even though that elderly mister was, uh…"evil". Though I think Mr. Deidara was exaggerating quite a lot.
How can an elderly man be considered evil?
"Why so irreverent?" Mr. Sasori had sighed.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm changing the subject again, un," Mr. Deidara snorted. "So what of it?"
"I said irreverent."
"Your point, un?"
"Deidara?"
"Hey, I asked you the question first, un!"
"I asked you second."
"Yeah, un? So, un?"
"So you should be answering me."
"What the hell, un? I asked you first, un. It would make much more sense if you answered me first."
"But I asked you second."
"So, un?"
"So haven't you heard of the saying 'First the worst, second the best? So obviously, you would want to answer the best instead the worst. Got that?"
"You really irritate me."
"Deidara?"
"What?"
"Shut up."
"I know, un. I know, un."
"So Hyuuga, what do you think about art? Your answer about 'drawings' obviously was when you weren't thinking clearly," I felt my head overly heat up, "or so you had said earlier. Care to tell us what you truly think about art?" Mr. Sasori said.
"Uh…"
"Art's a blast, un," Mr. Deidara whispered.
"Deidara?"
"I know, un. I know, un."
"Well then, Hyuuga?"
I looked down and fiddled with my thumbs. "A-a-after a-a while…I thought h-hard about it." I paused, then breathed out slowly. "I was not sure, to tell you the truth. B-but after l-listening to a-all this, it w-w-was so funny t-to hear." I smiled and giggled. "I think art needs passion, imaginativeness, and consolidation."
There was a minute pause.
"How the hell did she get all those things from our conversation?" Mr. Deidara blurted out.
"Do you even know what consolidation is?" Mr. Sasori said dryly.
"IDK."
"I should buy you a dictionary on your next birthday."
"You better not, un."
I bit my lower lip. "W-was my explanation not good e-enough?"
"No," Mr. Sasori said, "it was just fine."
He turned around and faced me, which was okay since the light had turned red.
"Your answer was perfectly fine."
Mr. Sasori then did something so incredible.
He smiled.
