The desire of the man is for the woman,

but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man

~Madame de Stael


Chapter 9

REMEMBER YOUR HATRED


He sighed, shook his head whilst allowing the sting of the heavy liquid pass through his thickened throat. Ares coughed a little and ran a hand through his gloss jet black hair, smelling his spirited breaths surface on the very air he inhales. He felt warm in a daze, his body feeling tiny electric sensations crawling on his veins. The hair on his grip felt thin, and his brows furrowed at the slight shiver of his vision. Everything seemed to move, and he finally knew he had consumed too much liquor that his stomach churned.

There he was, alone and locked on his own chamber, feeling the familiar disgust on himself while savoring the very machinations of his triumphed weakness. A weakness that had begun consuming him. A weakness he never knew he possessed. His armory was scattered on the carpeted floor, piles of thin heavy silver out of place along with a cape which stenches of liquor. Once more his bare arms groped for another pitcher on his messed table. Picking up one, he immediately pressed it on to his lips and relished the vinegar-like taste flow unendingly towards the peak where he felt numb and careless whether he broke his own neck or sliced his own arm. The liquor drowned him in an everlasting disregard for consciousness, and he threw the pitcher with a burning stomach. He coughed and felt like passing out yet unable to because of his body's intoxication. He fell from his own bed, half naked with his torso glimmering in sweat and his chest heaving with perspiration. Coughing, he crawled, and tried to stand to head towards the lavatory, sensing a push on his throat.

The veranda doors opened with his charge and he jerked onto the railings with a loud grunt, and from his mouth gushed the fluids that cursed his innards. He coughed and continued to regurgitate, tasting his own vomit of alcohol from the walls of his empty stomach. He waited until his mouth dried and let himself fall onto the tiled floor. It felt cool, and he breathed heavily while calming down. As his heavy head leaned on the railings, a bead of tear formed on the sides of his eyes which reflected the illumination of the moon towering over him. Everything seemed to melt in his vision, and he closed his eyes to lock himself away from the reality that he had done himself too much of a drink. His muscled arms lay helpless, and his loins were the only part of himself that was concealed with a white cloth. He folded a knee and rested his elbow on top of it, his hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I see you're doing very well tonight…"

Ares moaned and bowed his head after hearing a voice he knew very well. A female voice, mocking and daring like the very chaos she represents. This time she laughed, and Ares glowed his scarlet eyes to blood red as they half-opened to see an aloof Eris poised in front of him, sitting on the railings without any care in the world, an exposure of her pale white leg peered through her black silken robe. Her red-painted lips smiled, and she ejected purple eyes as her long fingers rolled the golden apple which glittered against her plum-colored fingernails, the piles of bracelets cluttering on her wrist. She had hair which flowed until her thighs, red highlights contrasting charcoal coated strands.

"Ahh, leave the sermon for tomorrow, Eris. I am too sober to be in trouble right now." Ares growled. Eris plainly chuckled and observed the details of the war god's misery. She licked as her eyes scanned the glory of his display. She had heard too much of his painted flesh but had only discovered how magnificent it looked like. He had no scars at all despite the battalion of wounds which let him bleed Ichor during the wars and all the bloodlust in a shower of arrows. She saw each design: a drawing of a cobra winding on his right arm, the wings of a phoenix spread on his back with in-between is the drawing of his own shield. She scanned more, until being unable to decipher what the Celtic and tribal designs are. He was dirtied with it, but it looked unutterably handsome.

"What do you want…?"

Eris flicked her eyebrows as she snapped from checking out on him. He was still groggy as water, and she sighed while watching him trying to stand but to no avail. She strode towards him, long legs with a leg band continually peeking out with every step. She held him with a hand on his and helped him to stand but she laughed as Ares tripped and eventually fell on the same ground. Instead she helped him sit and she sat beside him, feeling the coolness of his skin. They both stayed still without Ares knowing how peaceful the seconds have been to the goddess of discord.

"Ares…?"

"Hm…"

"Do you remember the time when you told me you'd be there for me as a friend…? You know…despite whatever I do…?"

"…"

Eris closed her eyes as she laid her head on his shoulder, waiting for his answer.

"Yes…"

She smiled and sighed, this time feeling tensed, "Well… I only want to return the favor. I mean, we're friends, right?"

"Right. Cut the drama…" Ares groggily answered, "What do you want to say…?"

"Nothing… I just want to ask what's wrong… You don't usually over drink like this…"

This time Ares opened his sleepy eyes and sighed in assurance to lead him to serenity just for once. Funny how he thought she has become the goddess of discord but at least she considers giving some peaceful time for once in his pathetic life. His lips twitched, and they finally parted to speak.

"You will laugh at this."

"Try me." She smiled without any further movement, her arms embracing her knees and enjoying the stiff shoulders which held her head. Ares cleared his throat, "I can't kill someone."

Suddenly Eris looked at him with a slight measure of disappointment burning on her eyes. "Who?"

"I can't tell you."

She pouted, "A woman…?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why do you want to kill her…?"

Ares paused and allowed the deafening silence break through. He swallowed thickly, and bowed his head as his fingers pinched his temples.

"I don't know Eris…" he sighed endlessly, and she can sense the fruiting sadness in his vague red eyes, "I feel different. Something's wrong with me... I know it. Something's just not right. And it feels so wrong. W-why do I feel that? Eris I have always been so enthusiastic about killing someone… but this time it feels so difficult, and it's driving me insane."

She bowed her head, "Do you always think about her…?"

"Definitely. I want to kill her, remember?"

"Uhm… I mean, do you feel so weak when she looks through you…?"

He thought for a while, and answered doubtfully with ridging brows, "…Yes. Exactly."

She smiled shyly, and he tried to look into her eyes despite the strands of hair covering them. "What?"

"Ares…" she twisted her lips innocently, hiding a heaviness tugging her heart, "why don't we just say…when was the last time you touched a woman…?"

"What?"

"I mean…when was…your last…" she raised her eyebrows and nodded, finally making him understand. He chuckled, "And what does that have to do with my murderous plans?"

"Idiot." She laughed dryly with a smile she was projecting although it was false easy, "Maybe you missed doing 'it' with a woman that's why when you'd now kill a woman, it kinds of remind you of your perverse side."

"Uh…huh?" Ares rolled his eyes, "Yeah right. You mean I slip into a woman's legs and then after that I can easily kill her?"

"Exactly. Give it a try."

Ares laughed with such mockery that his shoulders shook and Eris had to raise her head from laying on it. He continued to think of such a stupid possibility and ruffled his own hair with one hand, still giggling, spewing out breaths which smelled of alcohol. Even his sweat had smelled the same. "No way, Eris. Na-ah. I'm not slipping on Aphrodite's side and make Hephaestus wake up from an earthquake on the bed. What! She gets pregnant and leaves the children to me. I mean it's fine though, rather than let that crippled blacksmith dip my babies on the lava." He scoffed and continued to laugh as if the world had ceased laughing.

"Aphrodite's not the only woman who knows you well, Ares."

Ares' smiling lips froze and his brows ridged as he turned his head to his side to confirm what Eris had said. He found her lashes lowered and her head bowed curling herself in a ball: her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. He cleared his throat and looked away with a puzzled mind. What the…?

"I think we have to rest no—"

The war god's eyes flew open, leaving his words hanging when he felt the warmth on his lips. He tried to reconcile what is happening, blinking twice to make sure that he was not living in a dream. Eris held his neck after swiftly catching his mouth in a quick kiss. She pressed further before breaking the intimacy between their faces and as she withdrew with a long sigh, Ares had found himself captured in the breadth of her bliss. He stared at her face with sleepy eyes and a rather confused mind and she began to whisper words which enticed him to return the favor.

"Let me help you remember your hatred, my love…"

Ares suddenly got lost in a pool of dementia as he cupped his palms on her cheeks and pulled her in another kiss. She felt their lips had fitted perfectly, and her heart had begun to beat wildly in anticipation of this moment when Ares would also give his attention to her. She had always wanted to be with him, and despite the years that they have spent in friendship, she felt him too blind to notice her by giving in to many lovers whether mortal or divine. But this night she knew her victory as well, and it had always been her fantasy to bear him his child which they would nurture in love. She let out a soft grunt when Ares made her arch back to drag his lips into her chest.

Minutes later Eris found herself slowly carried on his bed, and she had at most awaited this. Both kneeled, and Ares wrapped her legs around his waist, dipped in the confusion between his senses and the bite of the liquor which had revealed once more of his sexual nature. Then again his head pounded in a powerful blow, sending an aching beat on his temples. Between his fingers, her hair had flowed perfectly, and as he opened his eyes he saw the dark chocolate color, a very familiar color.

Thanea…

He heaved in the rhythm of kisses and the battle of their tongues, but his muscles had began to tremble, realizing he is pulled by the gravity of hallucination. Eris faced him once more, and was pleased to see the smile on his face despite the half-opened eyes, but she never knew what was going on his mind of whom he is seeing in her form. Ares felt being torn between the delusion and had began to see visions of a very familiar being. With every touch on Eris' flesh, he recognized the pull of an inward longing for someone whom he wished he was with right now. He didn't know whom he was missing as of this instant, but for sure it wasn't Eris he was seeing in mind. She had fair skin, and lips as pink as pomegranates which turns blood red under the influence of moonlight, she had the laughter of a nymph and the words as pleasing as cotton clouds. His eyes searched for a clear vision of her face against the blur, and his blood froze at the sight of a distinct color.

She had grey eyes.

Ares immediately woke up from all the fight between fantasy and reality. Eris looked at him with a pause as his hands dug on her arms and he parted with her. He was breathing fast, and searched through Eris's face. Her brows furrowed and she asked, "Are you alright?"

He averted his look and wiped the sweat accumulating on his forehead, thickly swallowing. Eris held his head to look into her purple eyes, "What's wrong?"

She was firmly disappointed when he moved away from her and she fixed her nearly naked body. She watched him move around with a mind in deep craze and she can hear his troubled breathing. Ares looked at her and wet his lips while moving towards his armors to dress himself, leaving her in a queried mind.

Thanea…

"Ares did I do something?" her voice rose as if irritated. He looked at her in a pause while tying the belts to fix his cape and looked around. Why am I this desperate to see her…?

"No…I-I need to go. I'm sorry." He apologized and immediately turned to grab his sword, but his mind was still rattled that he forgot his sword was unsheathed and his palms gripped on the blade.

"Argh!" Ares' sword dropped on the floor, making a clanking noise and he quickly looked around for a cloth to wrap his wounded palm. He found white gauze and pressed his hand on it, making the blood sip through. In his mind he had begun to be bothered by knowing he unconsciously sought for his prey. He sighed and made a move to exit his chamber; never even looking back to see how a bead of tear fell from Eris' eye.


Below the heavens set a nocturnal view of the sleeping world. Thanea's house was dead, and she herself had lain to absorb even a small amount of strength to live up to the coming dawn. Even she herself felt suddenly uneasy, being visited by an agitating dream.

Who are you…?

She sighed and moaned, her skin beginning to be foiled in humidity. Her conscious self can hear her heart beats getting voluminous. In her dream she can see a shadow sitting on the edge of her bed, purging out a force which deeply terrified her. He slowly lifted a hand, and she felt stiff at the sight of a blade between his gloved fingers. She wanted to scream in this horrifying nightmare, and she waited for the pain to drag her from the blade but instead a warm feeling crept on her face. She can recognize a shape of a palm on her cheek. It was a temperate touch, and it laid there for a while before the hand moved to trace her lower lip with a finger until it rested on her chest, palm spread above her thundering heart.

Thanea stormed from lying down. She sat up with a sweaty hand and looked around with fierce breathing, seeing that she was alone and there was no sign of disturbance around her room, she calmed herself by digging her face on her palms. Her throat felt ill and dry, and she decided to get up for a glass of cool water. She made her way to the kitchen, and paused now and then to feel a presence around or to catch eyes looking at her. Despite the scare reeling on her spine, she pushed herself to stay steady while drinking. The water trickled on her throat, and as soon as she finished gulping the last, she sighed and wiped her lips while looking at the bottom of a silver colored aluminum basin which reflected her face.

She froze whilst looking at herself from the distorted mirror. Although the reflection was quite deformed, she can clearly see the red streaks on herself. Her eyes grew wide, realizing that something had dirtied her face. There was a frail figure traced on her cheek, and she noticed five smudges of red color close together and it was joined by faint horizontal lines which seemed connected. Another blemish of red had painted the chest of her night garment. The red color suggested blood.

Her hand involuntarily moved toward her jowl and she tried to feel whatever had landed there. A cold sweat ran through her forehead.

The figure on her cheek was identical with a palm.


To be cont'd on Chapter 10: WHAT YOU NEVER DID

~He lived upon the law that tears only shed from the eyes of the weak. What a surprise to find himself unable to stop his own vision from blurring.


A/N: Yippee! Saturdays are update days! :D Id like to ask something: If "My Immortal Sin" would be turned into a movie and you will choose the cast: which actors/actresses would you choose? Just for fun! (But make it serious. Lol!) hahaha! xD

Thanks for your continuous support :) Please Review.


~AthenAres~