I Have to Get Out
Early the next morning, I was gently awakened when someone's soft fingers touched my face and brushed aside my hair. I blinked several times before my vision focused and the first thing I saw was his beautiful, and yet petrifying face. His makeup was smeared, there were black creases in numerous places, and the red paint covering his scars and lips was almost entirely gone. He smiled at me and I returned it, sitting upright in the bed. I must've done this too quickly, for my head throbbed and nausea rippled through my body. Putting my head between my legs, the Joker rubbed my back and asked, "What's wrong?" I shook my head slowly, since it still ached, and replied quietly, "Nothing. I just sat up too quickly." He slid off the bed and closed the bathroom door behind him.
I heard the shower faucet squeak on, followed by the rush of water. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, I too climbed onto the hard wooden floor and went into the bathroom in my bedroom, since all my toiletries were there. After cleansing my body from top to bottom, I blow-dried and styled my hair, letting my mocha waves hang delicately by my waist. Today I wore my favorite outfit – a trim, rose-colored sweater, a loose, graceful, white skirt that rested just above my knees, and my white ballerina flats. The ruby necklace still hung around my neck. Clean and dressed, the Joker walked out into the drawing room and stood next to the sofa, on which I was seated.
I still felt rather queasy, but I disregarded the sensation with the notion that it would pass before long. The weekend was practically here, though that shouldn't bring joy to me, taking into account the fact that we don't just work weekdays, but somehow it did. An old force of habit, I suppose. My thoughts were interrupted when the Joker stated, "Me and my idiotic partners in crime are going away for this weekend, and the following week. We should be back next weekend. Going to another part of town. We've been running short on money, but all our financial issues will be resolved once we get back. You wanna come?" I focused on my legs for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not I was feeling well enough to accompany them. My stomach churned and I shook my head, replying, "I'm not really feeling well. I'll stay here." He nodded once and the lot of them left.
It was a chilly, blustery day in Gotham, and scarcely any light hit my skin as I parked myself on a bench amidst a flower garden in the park. The noontime air carried the scent of roses and wet grass. Hours ago, the sickness vanished so I treated myself to two turkey sandwiches with lettuce, light mayo, and tomatoes. It felt wonderful being outside again, so even after I'd finished eating, I sat outside until the sun began to set. Various oranges and pinks mixed together to create something nothing short of breathtaking. Despite my urge to sit out longer, I knew it wasn't safe to be alone at nighttime, so I walked back to headquarters. My stomach growled as I lit a fire and changed into my green, flannel pajama bottoms and my matching tank top. I'd eaten more than I usually did, so this bothered me a little, but I wouldn't let my body starve.
In the kitchen, I made myself a fruit salad using bananas, apples, pears, peaches, and pineapple. It was so good; I decided to make another one. My watch read 8:27pm. I yawned and my eyes grew heavy. Weird. I was accustomed to staying wide awake hours after this. But my body didn't want to waste energy on thinking about something that probably wasn't a big deal. I was consumed by darkness seconds later and no dreams came to me that night.
I had fallen asleep on the couch next to the fire. Stretching every muscle in my body, I sat up and rubbed my head. I could hear cars whizzing down the street and the shuffle of large crowds as they hurriedly walked to and fro. This seemed a little strange for early in the morning, when I always woke up. I checked my clock and it read 3:45pm. Shit! I dashed into the bathroom and cleaned myself up, but didn't bother to get dressed. Unbelievable. Never, in my entire life so far, had I ever slept in this late. Checking the calendar I placed upon my piano, I sighed. Great. This confusion would be greeted by my period either this day or the next. Just what I need. I spent the rest of the afternoon and the evening playing piano and watching awesome shows like Flapjack, Spongebob, and Family Guy.
This time, I actually managed to flop down on my bed before I dozed off. Sunday went by exactly as Saturday had. Waking up really late, feeling a little uneasy, and eating a lot. I'd gained ten pounds. Ten. I didn't even think that was possible in that given amount of time. My period had yet to come. Monday, I bought groceries and weighed 126. Tuesday, I went for a walk in the park. Wednesday, I threw up. That was oodles of fun. Thursday, I went clothes shopping because I now weighed 132. Friday, I got pissed for no reason and broke every dish in the kitchen. Saturday, I went dish shopping and broke down crying on the carpet because I stepped on an ant. Sunday, I was dressed in my favorite outfit, having done laundry earlier that week, and my period hadn't come.
I checked my schedule to see if I had done something incorrectly, but I hadn't. My eyes widened as I stared at the calendar. But there was only a 1 chance something like that could happen! I had my Nuva Ring in! I sprinted down the street to a convenient store and asked if I could use their bathroom. On my way there, I stole the best pregnancy test I could see. After following the instructions, I waited a few minutes and held the test up with a shaky hand. Positive. I gently tossed it in the trash can and smiled kindly at the man at the counter before slowly walking home. As I shut the trap door behind me, I curled up into a ball on the couch and started hyperventilating. Thoughts flew through my mind. What should I do? It was a 1 chance! I couldn't gain that much weight with one baby…what if there's several? No, maybe I could've gained that much weight. We can't keep it, can we? No, not with the life we have. What do I do? I have to get out.
