Diminished Air

James lay sprawled out under one of the huge trees that occupied the grass near the lake. It was beginning to get quite cold and he shivered despite the brown cashmere sweater he had pulled on before leaving. No matter, the weather was on his side today. He was counting on it to keep the area clear of unwanted eavesdroppers. Still, it was starting to become rather uncomfortable. Fortunately, he did not have to wait long. He soon spotted Remus emerging from the castle and hurried over to intercept him. James led him back to the tree, and after double checking to assure their privacy, he explained what had happened.

"This is going to be a lot more complicated than you anticipated, Moony," he said with an accusatory glance. "It was almost as if…" he replayed the day's events once more in his mind, Lily's trembling hand tattooed across the inside of his eyelids. "Remus, I think she was afraid of me."

Remus' eyebrows shot up. "Well, that does make things more complicated. Whatever she thinks you did, it's bad."

"So what do I do, oh spewer of advice?"

"Well now you have to at least try."

"Easy for you to say." James found himself slightly annoyed. Remus could just sit safely on the sidelines oozing Carpe Diem advice. It was James who was going to have to go back into the lions den.

"Before you decided to get all snotty, I was thinking that you really don't have anything to loose. It isn't as if you could make things worse."

"Well thank you Remus, that's very encouraging." But James privately thought that his friend had a point.


It is a strange thing indeed how the one person you are looking for is always the one who manages to disappear most effectively. James had decided he wasn't taking no for an answer. But in the mean time Lily seemed to have dropped off the face of the planet. If he hadn't already checked to see that the Marauder's Map was still safely tucked away in his trunk, he would have thought it impossible for her to avoid him so expertly unaided. Of course, he did catch occasional glimpses of her; they shared a few classes after all. But as soon as he called out her name or tapped her shoulder, she disappeared. It wasn't until a week later that he managed to corner her properly.

He had left his seat at lunch to go use the bathroom before class when he found her wandering the empty hallways. She had tucked her long, fiery braid into her cloak and pulled a maroon knit hat down over her ears, which served to effectively shield the beacon-like properties of her hair. He was so overjoyed to have finally found her that he was actually surprised for a split second when she whipped around and glared at him before walking away in the opposite direction.

"Lily," he called out, hurrying after her. "Lily, wait."

"I don't believe this," she muttered under her breath. "Haven't you done enough? Why do you feel the need to pester me like this? Do you enjoy taunting me? Does it give you some sort of sadistic pleasure?"

"I don't…Lily…please…" he stuttered. Then he took a deep breath, gathering his scattered thoughts. "Lily, I really have no idea what you're talking about. Come on, does that sound like the James you used to know."

"The James I used to know would never have done what he did to me. The James I thought I knew never existed." And with those icy words, she stalked off in the opposite direction, and this time James did not try to stop her. He was too shocked to move.

"I'm not going to give up on you Lily," he shouted after her retreating figure.


James was a man on a mission. But after two weeks of assuming stalker-like qualities, he decided to change tactics. Lily was clearly not going to give in to persistence. He thought back to those pale, trembling hands. If she was truly afraid of him, then he had to do something to show her his intentions were genuine. Or find a way to talk so that she would feel safe. However, this was easier said than done. He racked his and Remus' brains for any ideas, but came up with nothing. Seeing his friend's desperation, Remus reassembled the members of the previously disbanded Black Detective Agencies. He even questioned the still unconscious Sydney, who remained unresponsive as ever. He was beginning to run out of ideas.

A few evenings later, the entirety of the agency, which had swelled to include Peter, plus James found themselves aimlessly wandering the numerous corridors in search of anything that might be useful. They had split up an hour ago and James strolled up one of the staircases alone. When he was halfway to the top, a low creaking noise came from somewhere below him and James cursed under his breath as the staircase began to swing leftwards towards some unknown destination. He found himself in an unfamiliar hallway and was seriously beginning to regret letting Remus have the map for the evening.

James wandered down the hallways for ten minutes hoping to find something he recognized. He soon realized this strategy was not going to work. He began to pace distractedly, muttering under his breath, "I need a place where Lily will feel safe enough to talk to me. This is a huge castle and I don't even know how many passageways I've never seen. Somewhere among them there must be something that will help me. Come on, James, think!" He stopped for a moment and ran his fingers through his forever tousled hair. He looked up and jumped in surprise. There, just a few feet ahead of him was a door in an expanse of hall he was quite sure had been empty a few minutes before. Cautiously he turned the knob, keeping his other hand on his wand. A light clicked on as he opened the door and revealed a very pleasant looking room. The walls were painted a cheerful marigold color and there were several comfortable looking green leather couches with a few multicolored afghans draped over the backs.

James took a step inside. Something made him flinch. There was some strange quality to the air in this room that had not been there out in the hallway. It wasn't any harder to breathe or see, but there was something palpably different that he couldn't put his finger on. He drew his wand out of his pocket and looked around suspiciously. Could he have unknowingly walked into some dangerous spell? Something occurred to him. He pointed his wand at one of the couches and muttered a color change charm. Nothing happened. "Lumos." But no light appeared at the tip of his wand. He tired to send blue sparks from out the tip of his wand. But none appeared. A shiver ran down the back of his neck. For what purpose could such a room exist at Hogwarts? His mind went racing and he realized he had stumbled across the very thing he had been searching for. What better way to make Lily feel safe around him than to strip him of his magic. He sank into one of the leather couches and felt something poke into his thigh. Of course, in the confusion of being lost he had forgotten that he had one of the two-way mirrors in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out and summoned Remus, and after a moment he appeared in the smooth glass. He was surprised that it had actually worked. Well, it wasn't active magic after all. The mirror had already been charmed.

"Moony, I've found it!" he cried out in excitement.

"What? Where?"

"I'm… not exactly sure. In some room. Find me on the map." For a few minutes all he heard was a quiet shuffling as Remus searched.

"James, I don't see you."

"I guess we never found this one before. I don't think it's there all the time. Well, here. Let me step outside for a moment. Figure out where I am and then bring Lily here."

"Oh I see you now. Alright, I'll see if I can get her to come. Best not tell her who we're meeting."

"Probably. See you in a bit."

The mirror turned cloudy and then James saw his own face staring back up at him. Now all he had to do was wait.


It took fifteen minutes for Remus to find Lily and bring her to the corridor on the map. James had propped the door open so Remus had no trouble locating the room. James jumped up from one of the couches when they entered. He heard the slight intake of breath as the pair felt the strange sensation in the air. That unnamable absence. Lily's eyes hardened when she saw him, but Remus grabbed her arm to keep from leaving.

"What trap is this, Potter?"

"No trap, Lily. It is an offer. You feel that in air? Try a spell, any spell. Try the killing curse for all the good it would. Go ahead, it won't work." He stopped to let her confirm this for herself. "I thought you might find these terms more agreeable. And perhaps you will see that I mean you no harm."

"Just like you meant me no harm last time, is that it?" Yet James saw something on her face that gave him hope. She seemed to be digesting what he had said, and maybe, just maybe, considering it.

"I can sit outside the door if you'd like," Remus offered. For several minutes there was silence. But the two boys did not break it.

Finally Lily looked up, "Okay." James grinned and settled back down into one of the couches. Lily delicately settled herself into a nearby armchair. "Alright, talk." And for a moment James was unable to make a sound. He had devoted so much time and energy to getting her to listen to him, he had never stopped to plan out just what it was he was going to say. And he hadn't expected her to agree so quickly either.

He rubbed his hands together nervously. "I… I just want to know what I did. Why you hate me. What happened to my friend."

Her eyebrows wrinkled up in confusion. "I thought we were done playing games Potter. If that's what this is about then I'm gone. Just leave me alone."

"No Lily, don't leave. I'm not playing games with you. I've been leaving you alone for the past three years. All I want to know is why."

"James I don't understand. You were there. You did it. How could you not know?" Exasperated James' fingers found his hair once more.

"I don't know, Lily. Are you sure it wasn't someone who very closely resembled me who did whatever it was? Was it a low light situation perhaps? Because I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." Lily did not flinch at his sarcasm.

She stuttered for a moment and then stopped. She considered the sincerity in his voice and the fact that he had made himself vulnerable by bringing her here. She considered the fact that she had never told this story before, to anyone, and she considered the fact that maybe it would do her good if she did.

"Shall I tell you a story?"


A/N- Oh come on now, don't tell me you didn't see that cliffhanger coming a mile away. So okay, I feel just a tiny bit bad leaving you for six weeks like this. But hey, at least it's not another year right? And at least now you know an explanation is imminent. Just record, I've already written a little less than a page of the next chapter. But it's pretty dense, lots of long paragraphs and such, so there's really more. Ooh, I am rather excited to write it and have you all read it. And don't worry, that's not going to the end of this story. Not at all.

Thanks to all the lovely folks who reviewed, may they be an example to us all.

See you (metaphorically) in six weeks!!