So I don't know what happened to the last chapter (or do I?). So I guess Chapter Eleven is corrupt, but anyways! We're back on track! I actually had this chapter finished over a month ago but posting it was delayed because I've been on the search for a beta reader: one who is completely honest, open-minded, critical, and possesses a developed skill of writing, storytelling, character/plot development etc. The few beta readers I've contacted before have accepted my request, but I haven't heard from them since then (though I do understand busy lives). That being said, if anyone is available and interested to help beta my work, let me know! Thanks for reading!

~Roze


: Twelve :

How Much Of Me Is A Façade


"You know I don't like parties, Zuko. I can just stay in the palace," Mai insisted.

"The whole city will be there. And it's the last gathering before everyone goes their separate ways. Who knows how long it'll be until we all see each other again. We should enjoy this." Zuko grinned suggestively, pulling her in for a hug from behind. "You can stay beside me all night if that makes you feel better."

Mai shifted her eyes to the side. Disliking parties wasn't the only reason she didn't want to attend. While Zuko had properly befriended the Avatar and his friends, she had not; and although everyone was treating her respectively, there was a disconnection between her and the group. Mai could feel it in her bones. She had always felt left out, but this time she was with a group of friends who already had an infinitely strong bond. They had their inside jokes. They knew each other. She didn't belong—although it wasn't like she minded much.

As if Zuko could read her mind, he tightened his grip and nuzzled his nose against the crook her neck. "They like you. Don't worry."

"You don't have to tell me that." It was a typical response from Mai, not intended to be cold; But if she had responded straightforward with her honest feelings, those emotions would become all too real, overwhelming, and too cruel for herself. She didn't want others to pity her. She could handle it. It wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't like anyone really cared anyways.

Later that day, Zuko entered the room where the Gaang was preparing for the evening party. A smile adorned his face as his gaze swept across every one of his friends. Finally his eyes settled on Katara standing in front of a mirror and arranging her hair into a half-up top knot. He made his approach toward her. Immediately, the waterbender spotted him from within the mirror, turning to greet him before he could fully reach her.

"Hey!"

"Can I ask you something?" he started hesitantly.

"Sure, what is it?"

A beat.

"Can you talk with Mai and make her feel included tonight at the party?"

Katara stared back wordlessly as he continued on, "I know she likes to keep to herself, but I think she'd appreciate it if she was more involved with the rest of us. She'll never admit it, but I'm sure she feels left out because we've all bonded with each other already so… can you?"

"And why are you asking me specifically?" Katara raised an eyebrow.

He searched for the appropriate answer so it wouldn't be taken the wrong way, but the words escaped his mind. "Because—! Well—! You're a girl and—"

Katara let out playful chuckle. "No need to get so flustered; I was just curious. Of course I'll talk with her and get her involved." Then her face fell slightly. "But… will she let me is the problem."

"She will," Zuko quickly affirmed, a little too confidently. "I mean, you always get me to talk, so I'm sure you'll be able to get her to open up too. I'm her boyfriend, so it's not the same if I try to engage her with the group. Please, she's a good person underneath it all."

Katara released a heartwarming smile. "I believe you." Her eyes lingered a moment longer on his. "It was the same with you after all."

Zuko never looked happier. His whole entity appeared to light up in a way that was almost unnatural for his image. "Thank you!"

And just like that, the conversation subsided having accomplished its goal.

Hours later, the palace grounds were full of festivity. Lively music resonated throughout the night air, lanterns lit the decorated, spacious rooms, endless trays of food and drinks were readily available at every table, and friends were screaming their heads off from all the excitement.

"Please! Not another one of your horrible scary stories!" Toph shouted from atop a table.

"They're not that horrible!" Sokka argued. "Hey Zuko! Let's grab some of the drinks!"

"Not this again…" Zuko grumbled and was ripped away from a frowning Mai who now sat by herself on a bench away from all the activity. The two boys dashed to the drinks table, knocking so hard into Katara in the process that she nearly lost her balance.

"Hey! Watch it!" she warned and then turned the other way, catching sight of Mai by herself.

It wasn't long before a prestige looking man hustled his way over to the lonely girl. He leaned against the wall, trying to impress her with his stories and looks. Mai merely stared at him keeping her arms and legs firmly crossed, clearly disinterested but making no attempt to flee.

Seizing the opportunity, Katara happily skipped over to the Fire Nation girl, grabbing her wrist and pulling her from her seat. "Apologies sir, but Lady Mai promised that she'd dance with me when the next tune came on!" The two girls ran into the crowd and successfully made it to the other side of the room where the buffet tables lay.

"Ha! That's what he gets!" Katara exclaimed, releasing her grip on Mai and waterbending them each a drink from the large punch bowl.

Mai stared at her warily. "You didn't have to…" she said in her usual emotionless voice.

Having dealt with Zuko's cryptic emotions, Katara didn't allow herself to be devastated by Mai's similar expressions. That was Mai's way of saying thank you. Katara held out the cup full of whatever mysterious drink was in the bowl. "I know, but you didn't look like you were enjoying having him around."

To Katara's surprise, Mai accepted the drink, but their conversation quickly died after that. Fortunately, there was still loud background music playing as well as the sound of other people laughing and talking amongst them, saving the two from any real awkward silences, not that it bothered Mai much.

They each took a sip of their drinks.

Then another.

And another.

Katara tightened her grip on her cup.

"So, having fun yet?" she tried.

Mai gave her a glance that made Katara regret asking. "Not really." Despite her negative response, it was apparent that she was trying to sound more cheerful. "Did Zuko put you up to this?"

Katara couldn't help but flinch. "Put me up to what?" she asked innocently, bending herself another cup of the mysterious drink. As she was doing so, someone rammed into her yet again and she almost spilled her cup, although she was glad for the slight distraction.

"He asked you to talk to me, didn't he?"

"What? No~" she laughed nervously, waving her hand. Katara took another sip of her drink to buy her a second of time. She was a bad liar. She knew she was. Curse her good-natured, honest self. A second later, she dropped the act—her facial expression returned to normal with a hint of guilt. "Okay, yeah he did ask me to. But! I would have anyways even if he didn't ask. He just cares about you."

Mai sighed. She couldn't hold a grudge against the waterbender for that. Obligatory kindness or not, Katara had at least been honest in the end, and Mai could respect that much. "He should know better than to do something like that. What does he think that'll accomplish?" She was speaking more to herself than to Katara but faired that the waterbender could take it as conversation anyways.

"I think he just wants you to break out of your shell—open yourself up a little."

"Doesn't everyone." She took another sip of her drink. "Sorry to get your hopes up, but you won't be getting much out of me." She didn't need the waterbender's affection. Katara probably wasn't even interested in her. It was all just an obligation to make her feel better as a human being, not to mention it was a personal request from Zuko. Mai swore the girl was as enthusiastic as Ty Lee.

But that was when Katara's motherly instincts kicked in. Instead of losing her temper, she tilted her head to the side. "It must get lonely."

"It's whatever."

"There you ladies are." It was the man from before. This time, however, he probably wasn't going to leave without some sort of interaction.

The two girls drew back with a look of disgust.

"Oh, what bad timing," Katara set her drink down. "We were just about to get some fresh air."

"I see. I was hoping to spend some time with Lady Mai. Perhaps I could come along—"

"We'd really rather you didn't."

"What do you say, Lady Mai?"

Mai kept silent for numerous reasons, but mostly because she knew the man: not exactly on a personal level, but he was well acquainted with her parents on a political level. As a result, his presence was a constant reminder of her parents. She was sure he knew that as well, always taking advantage of that; so to disrespect him was to disrespect her parents. She thought ignoring him would be enough to put him off. Apparently not.

It was at that moment that the man drew close to her and tried to wrap an arm around her waist. "Don't touch me." She slapped his hand away. "Please," she quickly added.

"Lady Mai—" the man suavely tried again but was interrupted by Katara.

"She said no."

He stared long and hard at the master waterbender. "Why don't you let her answer for herself?"

Another one of Mai's famous sighs escaped her lips. This kind of thing happened to her at every party. At least it gave her a moment of less boredom. The man managed to wrap an arm around her, stepping away from Katara. The Fire Nation girl hesitantly stepped alongside him, her shoulders tense with reluctance.

A splash of water awakened Mai from her trance. Turning her head, her eyes widened when she saw the man drenched with the fluid from the punch bowl. Was that… Katara's doing? Was she an idiot? Did she not know who this man was?

"Oops," came Katara's voice in a sarcastic tone, her hands held out in front of her in a waterbending pose. Mai had to blink a couple times. The girl had done that for her sake, just like Ty Lee had stepped in for her at the Boiling Rock. But… Katara had no reason to step in; it wasn't like they were close and they weren't in any sort of danger. She really was a dramatic, impulsive girl… which piqued Mai's interest, maybe by 1%.

The man retaliated, lunging at the waterbender, but Mai was faster than him. Before anyone could process what was happening, the man's sleeve was pinned to the floor with a shuriken knife. He looked up in disbelief. Mai gave him a cold stare. "I don't want to go with you," she said in a steady voice.

By the time, she stood up, Katara had already grabbed her wrist and led them away from the crowd beginning to form around the scene. They raced down the dimly lit hallways, adrenaline pumping through their veins. Even Mai couldn't resist the curve of her lips from their previously daring actions.

They reached the balcony of the grand ballroom, tripping over their elegant, long dresses more than once.

"How can you just do that?" Mai voiced with a breath of exhilaration.

"Do what?" Katara responded, thrilled that she had gotten a reaction out of the Fire Nation girl.

"That. Stepping out of line. Doing whatever you want."

Katara straightened her attire. "You make it sound like it's a crime. You're always free to make your own decisions."

The energy presented just seconds ago seemed to fade from Mai's persona. She leaned against the balcony railings. "You're starting to sound like Zuko's uncle."

The response emitted a laugh from the waterbender. "It's true though. More than half of the things I've done wouldn't have been possible if I just thought about doing it but never actually did it. You can do anything you want too. We have more freedom than we think we do."

Mai looked out into the distance. "I know."

"Good." Katara smiled. "Now that you've confirmed that, you can do whatever you want."

There was a moment of silence as Mai gazed at the sea of stars. Katara joined her, leaning against the railings but being sure to keep a safe distance. Her face softened as she examined the royal girl beside her.

"Your parents were very controlling, weren't they?"

"If you already know, then why are you asking?"

Katara's face tightened. "It's called making conversation. The least you could do is give me a proper reply instead of saying something witty all the time. I promise my own replies won't be a waste of your time."

That cutting statement seemed to knock some sense into Mai. For the next few moments, Mai remained silent, appearing to be in deep thought. Then, without warning, she turned on her heel and headed back for the hallway. Katara watchful eyes followed the girl's departure, and she was about to yell at herself for messing it up when Mai stopped in her tracks.

"When I saved Zuko at the Boiling Rock, that was the first time I felt that my actions mattered." She paused, and then managed out with an uneven voice, "It was… different."

Katara took a step forward. "I can imagine. It must have been nice to finally make a decision of your own."

"Yeah. It was." Mai lowered her eyes, keeping her back to the waterbender. "If I asked you to describe me, what would you say?"

Katara raked her brains for an answer. Being thrown this unexpected question when she hardly knew the Fire Nation girl at all left her completely unprepared. "Well—"

"Be honest." The Fire Nation girl pivoted herself just enough to catch a glimpse of Katara's figure.

"Quiet. Doesn't express a lot of emotion. Easily bored. But you're a strong fighter with incredible aim."

"Don't try to make me feel better," Mai retorted sternly. "Your hesitation before already says a lot." Katara was about to rebuke the comment when Mai beat her to it in a softer voice. "But you're not wrong for thinking that." She was aware of the outward appearance she forced on for others, repressing her emotions and desires until the apathetic and brooding nature eventually became her identity and she no longer had to force them anymore. It became a part of her. It defined her. She sometimes wondered if losing those forced personality traits would mean losing herself, or if it would mean allowing her true self to shine through; but thinking about that at this stage was meaningless. This was who she was now. She knew others saw her as a hollow person. An empty person. It was like there was nothing inside of her and she was just existing to fulfill her parents' expectations. A mere doll. A perfect display doll. She had gotten used to playing that role. Since when? Perhaps her whole life.

But Zuko… Zuko was the one who brought that light back into her life.

In the end, Mai didn't openly express herself to Katara. She almost had, because she had agreed with the waterbender. Growing up, she had lived following her parent's order: Always being told what to do, not being able to make a decision worth calling a decision. As a result, she had no failures, but she had no successes either. Things didn't affect her as much as they should have. A lack of emotions as many would describe. She found it amusing when others would try so hard to ignite a reaction out of her and received nothing. Ty Lee and Azula were the only people who had ever accepted that as a part of her—never expecting any more or less, never blaming her for who she was. But even when she was a part of the little trio, she was under Azula's "control" (unbeknownst to Azula and others that she had the intelligence to see through all their little brainwashing tricks, which allowed her to maintain some individualism). So when she finally did break out of that orderly system and saved Zuko, it was an unusual feeling. Although the decision led her to being punished by the Princess, she could happily say that it was one of the most exhilarating moments of her life. She felt… free.

"When I met the man who murdered my mother…" Katara started in a gentle voice, "I looked straight into his eyes… and I saw right through them. I saw how empty he was. There was nothing inside of him. Nothing at all." She whispered the last few words. "And you and other people might think that you're like this man, but I can tell you that you're not. You haven't even truly lived yet." She made sure to maintain eye contact with her. "I think when you made that decision, that was the moment you finally woke up, when you started living. You're easily bored because you're not doing what you want to do."

Mai held a curious expression.

"Zuko makes you feel alive, right? You love him and that gives some meaning to your life. That passion you have for him already says that there's life in you. So use that as motivation to show the world who you really are. I know that part of you is in there. It's been itching to come out for years. So the next time I see you, you have to show me who you are."

Mai kept her lips sealed shut, but a glint of light seemed to flicker past her eyes. On an exhale, she relaxed her shoulders. "The play was right. You do love to give emotional speeches."

Suddenly Katara's calm demeanor was replaced by a wildly flustered stance. "Y-you saw the play?!" Then another thought came into mind. Her cheeks flushed red as she remembered how the play portrayed the relationship between herself and Zuko. "It's completely and disastrously wrong! Don't believe a single thing about it!"

To her relief, Mai smirked. "You know I don't take anything too seriously." Funnily enough, her face turned serious again. "Except for Zuko of course."

Katara felt her heart skip a beat.

The wind blew past her, and she felt an odd sensation similar to the way she felt the tug of her element to her core.

"You know I love Aang."

"Now then, there's nothing to worry about."

From behind a royal red curtain, the Fire Lord peered out into the balcony with a smile. "Thank you, Katara," he whispered into the night.