Effie nearly has an aneurysm when she discovers that we won't be sleeping in separate rooms. Haymitch has to step in to keep her calm but I don't care, even if she tried to force us apart we would find our way back to each other and I know our mentor knows this. So he placates her and we are left alone in peace for once. I have a feeling that we're damaging her sensibilities, she's so very proper and she wants everything to go in a proper order meaning marriage before we spend the night together, poor Effie.

I can tell Peeta is tired, that the day has been a long one, but I can also tell that he wants more from me and I will give him anything he needs. We make love slowly and quietly aware of the other occupants on the train. I want to show him how much I love him; even if I still can't seem to find the words, every time I try they seem to get stuck. So instead I caress him slowly, feeling every inch of his body, kissing and nibbling over his skin until he sinks himself deep inside me.

Good do I love the feel of him moving in me, this is the one time that we are the closest that we can possibly be, with nothing but the two of us and our love. If the rest of my life is like this I know I will be happy, but on the periphery of our love is the threat of what's to come. If we fail Snow I know that our lives will be hard, if they don't end.

When we finish we lay tangled together, our legs and arms entwined, his head resting lightly against my collar bone. I hold him against me as I feel his body calming, as his breathing slows and he slips into sleep. But I can't find sleep myself, now that he is no longer occupying my thoughts all I can think of is the tour to come, of everything we are going to have to do. I hate the thought of acting for the cameras, which I know we will have to do. Even our love won't be enough for the capitol, they will want a show and it makes me ache to think about it. I know Peeta will find it easy, that he will be able to show the world how much he loves me, as he has done it so many times before, me on the other hand I'm the weak link in our chain.

His breathing is now steady and I know he's deep in sleep, so I carefully detangle myself from him and slip from the bed. He murmurs in his sleep sensing that I have gone, but he wraps himself around my pillow and breaths deeply settling back down. I smile thinking that maybe it's the scent of me on my pillow that has calmed him and unable to resist I lean over and press a kiss to his temple.

"Katniss," he whispers out and for a moment I think he's woken but then I realise he's just mumbling my name in his sleep.

This makes me feel so warm that I can't help the smile that springs across my lips. God how could I ever think of Peeta in any bad terms, how had I believed the last time we rode this train that he wanted me dead. I must have been blind not to see what was in front of me, my poor boy with the bread how stupid I have been. Trailing my fingers over his hair I turn and leave him to sleep peacefully.

Slipping into the bathroom I decide maybe a shower will help, my skin is slick with sweat that's drying quickly leaving me feeling sticky so I slip into the water setting it to warm instead of my usual hot and play with the other nozzles until I can smell lilies. I don't want the roses from the Capitol they remind me too much of Snow and his blood tinged breath. The warmth feels great across my skin, but soon all I can think of is Peeta and the need to crawl back under the sheets with him. I want to spend every possibly moment wrapped around him until we reach the Capitol, have as much time just the two of us before we have to share our love with the rest of the country.

I'm just towelling my body dry, wrapping a fluffy towel around myself and luxuriating in the feel of it, when a blood curdling scream splits the air. I crash against the sink at the sound of it, since I know whose throat it has been ripped from, for a moment it knocks the air from my lungs, but then I'm moving stumbling over my clothes that I left scattered around the bathroom. When I fall into the bedroom I find Peeta in the midst of a terrifying nightmare. It's been so long since either of us have suffered this badly that it catches me off guard and for a moment I'm frozen watching him thrashing on the bed.

The door to our room slides open and Haymitch stumbles in wearing nothing but a pair of boxes, it's obvious he was asleep but I don't know if it was asleep asleep or past out drunk. He's quickly joined by Cinna who looks a little more put together and Effie who was most definitely asleep since I can see her normal brown hair instead of the golden wig she had been wearing for the day. They move as one as if to touch him after an initial pause and I know this will do no good.

"No!" I scream out as I scramble across the room causing them to freeze in place.

I clamber onto the bed fighting Peeta as he tries to push me away not knowing who it is he's battling. I whisper soothing things as I grab his hands and pull them against my body. He grabs my arms tightly and I know tomorrow I will have bruises from his fingertips but I don't care I desperately need to pull him out of this. Gathering him against me I cradle his head against my chest and bury my face in his hair right over his ear.

"Please Peeta wake up, I'm here baby please come back to me," desperately I press kisses against his neck letting him feel the heat of me against his skin.

His thrashing instantly calms and his eyes pop open showing me the fear deep in their blue depths, "Katniss," his voice sounds almost strangled and all I can do is nod.

Before I can say anything, find the words that will comfort him, he scrambles up and his lips are on mine desperately seeking the comfort that I can't give him with words. His kisses spread from my lips to my chin and across my neck and I know exactly where this is leading. Over his shoulder I flash a look at the assembled crowd that Peeta hasn't noticed, and Cinna and Haymitch quickly pull Effie from the room as she is about to say something. Cinna flicks me a quick smile before he closes the door leaving me alone with a man who is desperately pulling at the towel around my body.

I sigh as his hands skate across my waist and then delve under the material freeing it from where it's wrapped around me. His lips locked onto my neck are swirling over my heartbeat and its sending butterflies through my body, little shock waves of pleasure. His scrambling fingers have freed my body completely of the towel now and before I can even breathe he hovers over me and then his body is sinking deep inside me. I gasp at the intrusion, but don't move as he moans against my ear. I know he needs this, whatever he was dreaming has scared him and I know exactly what he is feeling. The desperation and need to touch has ridden my body more than once, so I will give him whatever he needs.

His body is moving against mine in a breath stealing pace and it's all I can do to wrap my legs around him and hold on. But even in his frenzied state he is still aware of my needs. His hand is attached to my breast, but he's kneading it in just the right way that always sends heat through my body. I can feel my body tensing under his ministrations and constant movement inside me, I knew he was going to bring me screaming but I don't care if it's what he needs then I will give it to him.

His body picked up the tempo even more, his thrusts become less ordered as he starts to lose his rhythm and I can feel how close he is. Wrapping my legs tighter against his hips I lift myself so that he can get that perfect angle that he loves so much. His hands go to my butt pulling me tightly against him, and he grinds his hips in just the right way to hit that perfect spot causing me to tip over the edge.

Screaming out his name as I shudder around him I fall as he lets go his body buried deep inside me. Wrapping my arms around him I pull him against me so that he can rest his head against my collar bone as we both try and get our breathing under control. Finally when he lifts his head from where its resting I can see that his eyes are half lidded but no longer full of fear.

"Katniss," he whispers and I can tell his mind is foggy.

Reaching out I stroke my fingers across his face, "ssshh its ok I'm here, we're both fine," my fingers trail through his hair over and over again until his eyes clear and I can tell he's with me again.

Carefully he slides from my body and crawls up the bed so that he can pull me against his body wrapping his arms around me so that I can bury my face in against his neck. Breathing deeply I take his scent into me letting it calm my body that is still shaking with adrenaline and a mixture of fear. He's scared me, like never before and I'm glad he's back with me now.

"What happened Katniss?" he whispers against my hair and I can hear that note of fear again.

Pulling back I move so that I can look up into his eyes but staying in the circle of his arms so that he can hold me and know that I'm real, I watch his face trying hard to discern how he's doing. I know after one of my particularly bad dreams holding him is the only thing that will anchor me.

"I slipped out to get a shower, I think me being gone invaded your dream somehow and you were having a nightmare," pressing my lips lightly to his I try and smile to tell him it was ok, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have left you."

"No its fine, I haven't had a dream like that in some time," his eyes glaze then slightly and I know that his mind is falling back into it, "we were in the woods again and I couldn't find you. The cannon fired and I just knew it was you, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get to you," he's breathing heavy by the time he finishes and I have to pull him against me again to calm him down.

Soon I can feel his body relaxing against mine and I know sleep is starting to pull him under again. Pushing him back slightly I get him to settle into the pillows and relax more, and once I'm sure he's starting to fall under I snuggle myself against him. Instantly his hands come around me and I can feel his body going limp against me, his muscles relaxing and his breathing deepening. Soon he's asleep and I can't help but steal a glance at him. He looks peaceful now and I sigh a breath of relief I didn't like seeing him like that, I don't want to ever see him like it again but I knew if he needed me I would be there no matter what.

Reaching out I brush my fingers across his forehead pushing some of his sweaty hair away from his face. I can't help but let my fingers rest against his temple for a while as I take in his peaceful form. How could I have ever imagined a life without him?

Leaning down I press my lips against his lightly so as not to disturb him, "I love you," I whisper against them.

Pulling back I watch his face for a moment more and know that he's really asleep. Breathing a sigh of relief I settle myself back against his body and let sleep pull me under. I may have finally found the words to say it to him but now I just had to get the courage to say it to him when he's awake.


a/n Hope you enjoyed this chapter as its the second to last of the ones I've pre-written. I'm hoping to get some time to finish off some more chaps tomorrow since I only have a morning shift, but as they say the best laid plans. I've been enjoying being able to update so often so I hope to keep it up. I hope you liked this chapter I wanted to show desperation on Peeta's part since it's all been from Katniss so far, he is the calm in the storm but he's still human and every now and then its going to come over him. I've been naughty writing ahead and I'm getting all tangled so bare with me and let me know what you like, been loving the reviews I've been getting just one or two good ones make me want to update instantly lol. Newho hope you enjoyed and see you again soon! xx