GENERATION OF MUSIC.


Song 12 : An Uncontrollable Desire - I know I still love you, this isn't what I want,
but this road leads nowhere.

X

To sleep or to meet again with someone who almost ravished him. Even a pig knows which is the better option. Sadly, Kuroko could not continue sleeping, due to someone leaving the Tokyo today. Ogiwara's schedule is thick, and he needs to go back to work. So he's leaving after a short time visiting Kuroko.

Actually, Kuroko didn't mind meeting with Akashi—since in that time, he was drunk after all. But, after hearing the news, he can't bring himself to attend practices, maybe the last practices. But he knew he can't think that way, he had his experience with Seirin once and he ain't gonna let the same thing happen again to him.

He has to do his best or else. Kuroko reluctantly said goodbye to his bed and head off to the living room, where Ogiwara was waiting for him. He wore a simple navy shirt, black baggy pants and a white sneaker while Ogiwara was wearing a suit (probably because his manager wanted him in a meeting later.).

"Are you sick? You had a drink, yesterday, right?" Kuroko snapped out from his thoughts and turned to his friend. As an answer, he shook his head. He didn't drink that many, at least not as many as Akashi did. He thought that Akashi was out of character for once in a while, since he never expected Akashi to be a drinking person. "Well, that's good..." A slight smile appeared on Ogiwara. "I hope you can take care of yourself better the next time I visit."

His eyes blinked, taking a good luck at Ogiwara's face. His auburn hair was as messy as ever, but at least it was combed. He could see that Ogiwara's hair was getting longer, his bangs an inch away from his eyes. Below his eyes were dark circles—lack of sleep? Odd. Kuroko never noticed that before. At the motion where Ogiwara scratched his neck, Kuroko could see that his fingers were calloused.

"Instead of saying that to me, say that to yourself." He tilted his head. "Never mind, I hope you'll take your work more seriously." A half joke, Ogiwara chuckled.

A U-turn, they stumbled a bit. "Maybe if you're with me." He joked back.

A hand stroked his fair cheek, Kuroko slightly jumped at the sudden touch. Ogiwara grinned, and planted a kiss on his forehead. "Sorry. Can't help it." Kuroko shook his head, looking at the other side, while answering; "Friends doesn't do things like that. I hope you won't repeat it again." That touch... reminded Kuroko of Akashi from last night, oh dear, a slight tinge of red appeared as he remembered it again and again.

"Well, I don't know about that." Ogiwara replied, grinning, before his grin turned into a frown. "Well, can't you tell me what's bothering you?"

It'll never work out. Kuroko remembered those words from Ogiwara's mouth, he glanced down. Telling what Akashi told him would only make him worry more, and Kuroko didn't want that. To say the truth, Kuroko was kind of sick being worried at, it made him feel like a don in distress, honestly. The last time when he was broken, Ogiwara was worried sick, even his mates were.

He wanted to stand up and be strong this time, he doesn't want to fucking waste his life. No shit, it took him days to able to play an instrument after his mother died and his father left him, and not only that, Seirin even disbanded because of their continuous losses and that humiliation.

Kuroko shivered at the remembrance. No, he needs to move on and forget that incident. And he didn't need to tell Ogiwara that... "Just a bit exhausted. Working with a band after a long time is going to need a long time to get used to. When I was with Kagami-kun and Himuro-kun as a voice actors or anything, it wasn't as lively as this." Maybe Ogiwara wouldn't believe him.

"I got to agree with that." Ogiwara sighed, his expression clearly expressing displeasure. "You got a leader like that, I can't blame you." Fortunately, he believed it. How innocent. And Kuroko can't help but agree with that, a leader like Akashi... Unconsciously, he touched his neck where Akashi had... touched with his smooth lips. What am I thinking? He erased that memory within his head.

He stole a glance to the petite figure. Kuroko had gotten sturdier, he was glad. The last time he saw him, Kuroko was really skinny, Ogiwara could even see his bones sticking out from his skin. His teal hair was shorter, maybe he cut it yesterday?

Ogiwara knew his friend was lying to him. For someone who has been friends with Kuroko for years, it was easy to know whether he was lying or not. It was like those times, when Kuroko didn't want to tell him anything because it will only worry him. But honestly, if Kuroko won't talk, it would just worry him more.

There was a time when Kuroko called him when he was at work, even though Kuroko just said that he was worried of Ogiwara's condition, he knew that Kuroko wouldn't call him just for that. Maybe he just want to hear Ogiwara's voice for once in a while when he's at the peak of despair. A voice of a best friend would cure at least a little of a scar.

Ogiwara didn't need to ask more. If he dig deeper than this, there's a possibility that Kuroko might stop talking. All he needs to know is Kuroko being alright, he doesn't want another painful experience, a sleepless night alone thinking. Yes... Kuroko would be fine. And Ogiwara believed that there's still a next time.

He put his weight on his foot, accelerating.


Momoi didn't sleep that night.

She can't even work properly, her notes were off and didn't make sense. When she tried writing some lyrics for her song, her mind wouldn't focus and wandered off. She had enough and decided to take a break, she ate some ramen for her dinner and checked her schedule for tomorrow then head off to bed.

Unfortunately for her, sleep didn't come to her easily. For some reason, she didn't feel sleepy at all, and her stomach demanded more. But eating much before going to sleep isn't to her liking, she didn't like eating much. She sighed and tried to put on a treatment mask. It always soothes her before going to sleep, and it's good for her skin too.

Again, she didn't fall asleep. Momoi groaned, maybe it's going to be another sleepless night. What would she do, though? Work is a definite no, since she can't concentrate. There were no friends to chat either, all of her friends would be asleep in this hour already.

Well, she could hear some music and read some books. It's been a while since she last read one, even touch it. Her hand picked up her MP3 Player and one book, a romance one. She sighed, reading a romance at this late isn't a good idea as well, but it's better than nothing. Her other books were at the other side of the room, she was too lazy to grab it.

Romance, eh? She remembered the time when Kuroko gave her a free water bottle. It was the first time a man had been gentle to her without any other intents besides helping her out. Cheesy and weird reason to like the boy, but all the mans she encountered before (except for her idiot childhood friend.) approached her for sex. They wanted her body. Nothing more.

It was a small hint of like, but after conversing with Kuroko a bit more, her feelings grew stronger. But she knew that her love won't be successful. Kuroko won't love her, no matter how much her hard work. She shrugged her shoulders, hearing a small tune of My Irony.

To her surprise, her hand phone beeped and there was a text. She blinked, not expecting that someone would text her that late. She looked at the sender, it was... Kise? What kind of business he needs in this kind of hour?

~Momoi-cchi! Are you awake? へ(_へ)

So many kaomoji. Momoi sweat dropped, it was expected. Well, she herself likes using those. She replied back, 'yeah. What's wrong, Ki-chan? ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ'

~ I... can't sleep tonight. So I texted the others to erase my boredom during the night. I'm so glad you responded nicely! Midorima-cchi sent me some harsh words, especially Aomine-cchi! Murasakibara-cchi didn't respond, so I think he's asleep. I didn't text Akashi-cchi and Kuroko-cchi, though. But Aomine-cchi was beyond cruel!

She had to hold a giggle. Wait, the others are awake? Midorima is probably doing his side-job as a doctor, while Aomine... watching some porn. Of course, she didn't even have to ask. 'That's Aomine-kun for sure. So, Ki-chan, why can't you sleep?'

~I don't knoww, my eyes just won't close (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ How about you, Momoi-cchi? (^~^)

'Same as you. Why don't you text Tetsu-kun? (*´∀`*)'

~E-eh—texting to him in the middle of the night like this... (/_\)

Momoi's woman intuition turned on. 'Ki-chan, you... like Tetsu-kun, right? -(๑ ‿ #)ᕗ' She smiled bitterly. More rivals, it seems.

~ EH?! (((;꒪ꈊ꒪;))) O-of course not. We're both guys and all—

'Don't bother hiding it... You're quite obvious.' She continued. 'If you do like him, there are many rivals waiting for you, okay? Be prepared, haha!' She giggled.

~Rivals...? Who do you mean? ( ・◇・)?

'Whoever. Well, my batteries are dropping. See you tomorrow. ε-(´・`)'

Actually, her batteries weren't dropping at all. She just closed the phone and covered her body with her blankets, she held her tears, and breathed deeply. Knowing her fate—which is without Kuroko being by her side as her lover, but as a friend. But she knew, that she couldn't give up.

Until she finds a new love, she'll have to continue hoping for something that wouldn't come true. It's going to be okay... It's not long, until she can't meet with Kuroko again.


"Have you been into contact with Kuroko-kun, Taiga?"

It was a rainy morning, a wonderful weather to start the day. Note to sarcasm. Both of them were in a cafe near their apartment, getting breakfast from there. The coffee and pancakes they served were the best in the town, they are sure lucky to have their apartment near to it.

Himuro ordered a simple pancake with honey as the topping and an cappuccino, while Kagami has his appetite in the morning—ordering a whole pancake with chocolate, blueberry, and others as the topping. Not to mention the maple syrup, dear God. "Thank you, Kawahara." Himuro thanked the youth, who smiled and bowed with his head.

Kagami shook his head, stuffing his mouth with another mouthful pancake. "No... But I think that Ogiwara visited him a few days ago, and left this morning." He scratched his neck.

Himuro blinked, not expecting that. "Ogiwara-kun was here?" He mumbled. "It's a shame I couldn't talk to him for a while... It's been a while, hasn't it?" He smiled, slicing his pancake and pouring some maple syrup.

"Yeah. It has been." Kagami frowned. "Ever since Seirin... disbanded." His eyes looked downwards, remembering that very scene where everyone's hopes were crumbled. He twitched a vein and started eating again to regain his mood back.

The other frowned, knowing what his friend meant. After a few seconds, he glanced up, putting his index finger up. "How about we visit Kuroko today? With Aida-san and the others as well. He just joined a famous band, surely, they must be worried as well, right?"

"Nice idea!" Kagami exclaimed in English, putting a thumbs up.

Himuro smiled, glad that he cheered up. He looked up to the TV, watching the news. His eyes suddenly widens, and stood up from his chair. His hand reached up for his phone, and called the tall giant.

"Muro-chin? What's the matter?"

Kagami raised his eyebrow, that was Murasakibara, wasn't it? Kagami looked behind him, and he widened his eyes too. "What—"

"It's not what's the matter! You're on the news and what nonsense are you speaking?" It was true. On the screen, there was Murasakibara holding his phone, apparently talking to Himuro. Below him was a note written; The Generation of Miracles, disbanding?!

"It's not a nonsense." Murasakibara slurred lazily. "It's true..." He heaved out. "I was out on a walk and theses guys spotted me... They started to irritate me with the whole questions of the band, about why haven't we updated some new songs or whatever. I just told them the truth, they're annoying after all."

Himuro shouted, "Don't joke with me—Atsushi, meet me here at a cafe near my apartment. You'll know, it's the most popular cafe in town."

"The one who has good pancakes and coffees?"

"Yes."

And the line cut off.

Kagami stared at the shorter male with clenched fist. "Oi, Tatsuya. That... It's true?"

"I don't know." He answered, sighing while rubbing his temple. "Hopefully Atsushi can come here without any crowds."

"It's a bit hard with his tall structure." Kagami growled. "Fuck this..."


"SHIN-CHAN!"

Midorima put his phone away from his ear, eyes twitching as he put the phone back to his ear. He wondered if his ears would need a check up after this. "What is it, Takao? Your voice is annoying. Can't you text like usual?" He grumbled, obviously irritated. Usually, Takao would text Midorima frequently. And it annoyed the pianist, of course. But it was better than calling, Takao's loud voice would break his eardrums or something. Midorima didn't need a hearing equipment.

The other line—to Midorima's disappointment, continued to shout. "I can't text, after seeing what I saw!"

"And what did you see?" He sighed, grabbing his jacket.

He could guess that Takao was biting his lips by now, "T-the news..." His emerald eyes glanced to the TV, breathing in. "Did you see it?" continued Takao.

Midorima answered, "Yes. I did."

"…" Takao didn't answer, trying to progress the truth inside. What the heck?

"Murasakibara really shouldn't say that yet." Midorima said, cracking his knuckles. "It was supposed to be... unknown for a while, but that idiot spit that out. So it can't be helped."

"Then, it's really true?" Takao's cracked..

The pianist raised his eyebrows, hearing Takao's voice from the door. He walked to the door, to see if it's true or not. "Yes, it's true." He opened the door.

Takao was there, drenched in the rain. "Don't fuck with me, Shin-chan. The hell? Do you really expect me to believe that a famous band—number one in Japan, a band that I always had envied, is disbanding?... The band that you grew to love?" He growled. I tried my best to-

It took a long time before Midorima could answer, "Yes, I do." A fist was about to land on Midorima, before it stopped on its track. "Don't get too emotional. It doesn't involve you." He sighed.

Takao flinched. "Shin-chan—" Then, Midorima's right hand was before him, stretching out his fingers.

"I won." He fixed his black rimmed glasses. "Yours a rock and mine's a paper. Get me an oshiruko and we'll talk for a bit."


"Beginning of a brand new day, something had crossed my mind,
The way we are reminds me of pieces of a broken glass.
Fixing it would take quite a while,
So is it really worth repairing it all?
I wonder if, this fate we lead, was planned right from the start."

Ogiwara wished that before the train departed, he could talk to Kuroko. He regretted the fact that before he went in the train, he just opened the radio and heard about the news, Kuroko was already gone. He wanted to give Kuroko a mouthful of talk about the news.

Why didn't he continue to ask about what's wrong? He would just have the answer and comfort him a bit! He didn't want another time when Kuroko broke. Sure, he's confident that Kuroko would be strong but... sometimes, a part of him can't let Kuroko go.

He wanted him in his embrace, safe and sound. Not hearing any bad news. No wonder Akashi wanted to meet with him. He wanted to give Kuroko the news, and that's why Kuroko has been acting weird.

His intuition was true, and happened right away. Ogiwara clenched his wist, and punched the chair he was sitting. Sometimes, he would wish there wasn't a drama in his life. One second he warned Kuroko and it really happened, so dramatic.

He closed his eyes, calming down, remembering what Kuroko said to him. He needs to control himself, before his asthma comes again.

"I'm so fucked up..." He buried his head on his palms. Work is waiting just before him after he reached his destination, and he can't run away from it. He would need to give a call to Kuroko after he's done—which will be a long time.


"Deep in my heart, I realized, this choice I'd have to make,
True it is hard, for me to say, but I know it's the best way.
Contradiction of my feelings
The denial, it repeats; an endless loop.
When should I tell, you everything that my heart has considered?"

Kise set himself as comfortable as he can in the passenger's seat, although resulting zero. He couldn't get rid of the blush from his face, and his continuous shifts. By his movements, the seat would shake a bit, as well as the other seats.

The person beside him, who received some shaking seats because of Kise, complained inwardly. "Kise-kun, would you stop shifting. It's kind of annoying." Kuroko sighed, making a turn. He glanced at the model that flinched.

"S-sorry, Kuroko-cchi!" It was obvious. Kise was nervous, sitting beside his crush in the car, Kuroko's car. It was quite narrow, that's why Kise hasn't been acting normal too. "Ah, should I be the one driving?"

Kuroko shook his head, "This is my car, Kise-kun." He sighed. "And please pipe down. It's fortunate enough I picked you up."

"Yeah, the fans were crowding me not only that, the rain was getting swift. And I saw your car, so thanks, Kuroko-cchi!" Kise bowed gratefully. "They were more aggressive… I wonder why." He slumped to his seat, relaxing after having a conversation. "Ah, can I turn on the radio? My fans said it was something involved by it."

After seeing a nod from him, Kise turned on the radio and adjusted the volume as well as the channel. He continued changing it until he heard a familiar voice, Murasakibara-cchi?

"Would you guys stop bothering me?" Murasakibara said. "We're going to disband, and that's all."

Ah, so that's why they were freaking out. The blond thought, expressionless. His hazel eyes dull, already getting used to that shocking news. In the past few days, he thought about it, and of course, why did he felt a déjà vu when something like that never happened to him.

But slowly, he started getting visions like him playing sports at high school, and met with Aomine who had an outstanding talent in basketball. He joined the first string of it afterwards, getting his personal adviser… Kuroko Tetsuya.

He knew it was just a dream, yet a part of him didn't think so. It felt so… real. Kise shook his head, and looked to Kuroko. He flinched, knowing that Kuroko wasn't at the dinner that time. Did he know? Or did he not?

"So the news started spreading around, I see." Kuroko commented, plainly. Ah, so he knows already. "I was told by Akashi-kun. It surprised me."

"Akashi-cchi?" Kise widened his eyes. "Ever since that dinner, Akashi-cchi never came to practice… We even contacted him, but he didn't answer at all."

"That's weird."

Rivals. Kise snapped out of it, Momoi-cchi… did you mean this? "Ah, Kuroko-cchi, wait. I have a call." He picked up his ringing phone, and answered. After a few seconds talking—most of them Kise trying to explain that he can't do that, he finally gave in and decided to meet up. Kise apologized to Kuroko, asking if he could send him off to some place and wait for him.

Kuroko shrugged his shoulders, saying that it's fine.

Soon, Kise pulled off his phone, telling his friend he's already there. "There's someone who wants to meet with me." He said calmly, "Uh, it won't take long. Would you-?"

"It's fine, just go."

Kise-kun is sure taking his time. Kuroko thought, looking at where Kise went. He sighed, looking at his phone. It seems Aomine had contacted him a few times, maybe worried about him? He held back a laugh. Nonsense! Well, it has been days since he last saw the tanned. Maybe he should go to practice today. Ah, but Kise did say that they didn't practice; they only lay down and relax while thinking. No one made a conversation.

He hummed a few songs, until a text from Kagami stopped him. He read it, and raised his eyebrows. He's at their workplace… and wants to meet up? He shrugged his shoulders, replying; "I don't mind. I'll be there in a few."

Kuroko turned off the engine and head off where Kise went, trying to search for the model. It isn't hard to find someone that tall, he found him in a corner with a girl—taller than Kuroko, he admitted bitterly. Her face was familiar, wait, isn't that a famous model from a girl's magazine?

Kise was there, with his hands in his pocket. He can't see what expression Kise is making now with his back facing to him. The girl was flustered, her face red, and looking desperate.

Is this a confession?

"Really, I'm focusing at other things besides music… Even if the band disbands, I'm still focused about other things, you know?" Kise said exasperatedly. "You've been confessing since last year, aren't you tired or anything?"

"No!" She exclaimed, "Kise-kun… You're the only one who has made me feel like this. I just want to be by your side. All these months, you've been rejecting by saying you wanted to focus in your band. It's disbanding, right?"

His voice hardened. "Even so, I think a girl who takes advantages like that isn't very nice." He mumbled. "I'm really sorry, and if I have to say the truth…" Kuroko noticed the red on his ears. "I have someone I like, and it's not you, Kobayashi."

Kobayashi hid her face within her palms, and bowed with her head, then walked away, while wiping her tears away. I should go… Kuroko thought, and before he could make a step, Kise was already behind him. "Kuroko-cchi!" He blinked, surprised. "Weren't you in the car?"

Kuroko looked at him with his aquamarine eyes, blank as ever. "You were taking a long time, and I needed to go. Kagami-kun wants to talk." He muttered.

"Did you see-?" Kise shifted.

"I'm sorry, I saw it." The shorter answered. "It's rude of me."

"No! It' alright." A few moments of hesitation. "What do you think?"

An eyebrow was raised, "What do I think…? Well, I guess I'm happy for you." The other stopped. "Although it seems that she wasn't the one for you. But it's nice, getting confessed at." He scratched his head, clearly not used talking about romance. "Kise-kun, I should be going. You can use a taxi, right?"

A hand held his wrist.


"Even when I think, about the time and season our eyes met,
All I remember is that smile you wore so gracefully.
And yet we still found a way to hurt
Until one of us had broken down into tears
It seems our minds were overthrown by many deadly thorns."

What was he thinking to do? Kise didn't know. He got a call from his fellow model, rejected her, and found Kuroko accidentally hearing the rejection. A part of him was worried, what he will do if Kuroko somehow hates him after that. Rejecting the girl in such mean way, Kuroko will think he's not gentle. And his hopes for the teal haired would shatter.

He clearly didn't want that. "What do you think of it?" Kise voiced out his question, clenching his fist. He hoped for the best, please. The answer took him by surprise, he was happy because Kuroko agreed with him, but… why? He also felt a bit disappointed.

As if he's been hoping Kuroko would at least get… jealous.

And without even realizing his actions, his hand held Kuroko's wrist tightly. "Kise-kun. I need to go." Kuroko mumbled, trying to release his grasp to no avail, the grip was getting tighter. His lips formed into a straight line, and pushed Kuroko towards the wall, his hand being pinned.

"Kise-kun, what are you doing?" Kuroko protested, annoyed.

His hazel eyes looked at him straightly; his short teal hair, big sharp blue eyes, pointed nose, thin formed lips. How he wanted to have all of that.

His face was closing in, and kissed the shorter one's lips tenderly, a few seconds after that, he stopped before kissing again more passionately, and he almost could feel Kuroko's hand stroking his blonde locks and kissing him back. His hand entered inside Kuroko's shirt, touching his bare chest, feeling it.

… Like hell it would happen.

Kise leaned his head to the wall, breathing in. He can't do this, he can't, certainly. That kind of action would only lead him to failure, and he doubt his heart would take it. Kise sighed, disappointed of himself. He's really a cowardly person.

He let go of Kuroko's hand, looking downwards, unable to meet Kuroko in the eye. "Sorry, Kuroko-cchi. You reminded me of someone I know." A lie, he narrowed his eyes, it was for the best. And besides, he remembered something.

Since from the start, he was faced with a one-sided love. Somehow, he felt he had this kind of feeling before. Weird, all these years, he got his girl easily; he never had a one-sided love. Yet, his gut said that he had this before, and his envies… targeted to the same person as ever.

He didn't know. But he should stop it right here. It was the time when he realized, it's not only just Akashi and him who holds feelings for Kuroko; there were more. And it was the same as before, the same as the past. He knew what the outcome was now.

His head ached, sweat dripping from his forehead.

"It's fine, Kise-kun…" He looked at the taller, massaging his right wrist. "Are you okay?" he asked, after looking what state he is in.

Kise smiled, "it's fine!" Oh God, his heart aches more than his head. "You should get going, Kuroko-cchi." He put his hands inside his pocket. "I'll… see you later?"

Kuroko nodded slowly, still looking at him.

Kise shifted, uncomfortable. Why is he still here? Get going before I make a mistake already, was what Kise thought bitterly, not looking at Kuroko at all. And suddenly, Kuroko asked Kise to lean down a bit, and he did what he was told. A hand stroked his hair gently.

"In times like this, you sure aren't honest, aren't you?" Kuroko sighed, pulling his hand. "I hope the best for you. I'll see you later." The gentle smile that Kise always had adorned to see was finally there.

And Kuroko walked past him. Kise looked at the back of his love, and bit his lips. "Kuroko-cchi!" He called. "I…like you."

Kuroko shrugged his shoulders, a bit confused but answered either way. "I'm not sure what I can answer to that. But, I do like you, Kise-kun. "

Kise breathed in, as Kuroko was not in sight anymore. He leaned to the wall, his eyes looking at the sky, blank. He smiled a bit, not reaching his ears. It's not that like, Kuroko-cchi. He buried his head on his knees.

A whisper of love entered Kise's ears. "I… love you, Kuroko-cchi." He whispered, almost not audible. A tear rolled down from his cheek. It was the second time he got his heart broken.

"This is goodbye, my sweet love, this was inevitable.
We have to try and not look back, as we are breaking apart."


A/N: Not beta-ed again, sorry for the errors :) I'm leaving out of town for a few days, so I tried writing as fast as I can, as well as my other fanfictions. I hope you all like this chapter, I got my heart broken a bit :' Kise remembered his past life, where you will know in the next chapter.

And the song, Just be Friends isn't helping. Btw, recently I can't access FFN. Is something wrong with it again? And if you have some questions, PM me.

The translations belongs to their rightful owners, I merely borrowed it. [Shellahlyrics - Just be Friends]

Leave your opinion, love you guys! Give me some ideas :D