A/N: I'm going on vacation so the next update won't be for a couple of days. Sorry! But the next chapter should be up Saturday. Thanks again for feedback!
"Now you're a ghost in my mind.
Yeah the upstairs is haunted
And all that I wanted
Was to get out alive." Steve Carlson
We're in the plane on the tarmack waiting for our flight back from Ottawa to take off. It was a brutal road trip for me. Not that my personal stats reflected that. I put up points in two of the three games. And yeah, we lost to Marc but we kicked Eric's ass so in the sibling rivalry area, I broke even. Despite two goals in 3 games the coach was still on my case. He thought I had been underperforming. And even though I think he's a douche part of me knows I wasn't 100% in the game.
I get settled in my seat and sigh. Max slides in beside me humming. He's always in such a good fucking mood. I'm jealous.
I pull my phone out of my pocket. I stare at it for a long time. I should be switching it to airplane mode. But I'm fighting a losing battle against the urge to text her. I've been strong for the entire trip but if I don't do it now I'll have to wait the entire flight.
So I text her.
Hey. You still in the Burgh?
I instantly regret it. I hate the feeling of giving in. Of giving up. Of losing control and I feel all of that as soon as I hit send. Now I'm in a worse mood.
I drop my phone onto the little tray extended in front of me and pull off my wool skull cap snapping my eyes shut and running my hands through my unbrushed hair.
"What's wrong with you lately?" Talbot asks from his position beside me.
"Tired," I reply and shift in my seat, doing up my seatbelt. "I haven't been sleeping well."
Shelley our regular stewardess on the Pens plane tells us to buckle up, we're about to take off.
"You should have come out with us after the New York game and found someone to tire you out," Max tells me. "You know New York is almost as good as Montreal."
Max rates the cities we visit according to their caliber of pretty and easy women. Montreal is his number one, New York his number two. And he's fairly accurate. I've had a lot of satisfying encounters in the Big Apple but even more in Montreal. French girls love to spread their legs for hockey players. It's like it's their civic duty.
The plane lifts into the air.
"Wasn't feeling it this time," I shrug. Marc has swung by the hotel and we'd had a beer at the hotel bar but that was it. I was upstairs, drowning in thoughts of her, by midnight.
"You have mono or something?" Max counters and he's only half kidding. "You skipped out on Clay's party early too."
The image of Vanessa, naked and writhing under me in Clay's guest room fills my head and makes my dick twitch in my pants. Fuck.
"No I don't have mono, retard," I roll my eyes and give him a shove thankful we've reached cruising altitude. "Let me up I need a snack."
He shifts and tucks his legs under his seat so I can scoot by him and out into the aisle. I make my way down to the back of the charter where there's a small table bolted to the wall with an array of sandwiches, muffins, bagels and drinks.
I stare at it for a long minute and realize as I grab a multigrain bagel and smear it with light cream cheese that I am hungry for more than just food.
Sid comes wandering down the aisle and stops beside me, grabbing a purple gatorade off the table.
"What's up with you?" he wants to know. "You've been…. Moody. Is it that time of the month?"
"Ha," I roll my eyes at him and his infantile humor I usually find hysterical. "It's been a rough trip. I hate losing to Marc."
Sid just nods and shrugs. It was a solid trip for him. He and Malkin could score from the locker room right now. They're on fire.
"Is Morgan's sister and her friend still in town?" I ask quietly as I notice Clay get up and head to the bathroom.
"I'm not sure," Sidney replies in a gruff, awkward voice. Maybe no one else would perceive it as that but I do… because I saw them.
"Are you bringing someone to the Christmas cocktail fundraiser?" I want to know.
He shakes his head. "I never do. Why? Are you?"
"I was thinking of bringing someone," I explain and take a bite of my bagel, chewing and swallowing before adding. "Max is bringing someone too. We think it might keep some of those crazy cougar chicks off us."
Sidney laughs at that. "Who you bringing?"
"I was going to ask Nessa if she's still in town." The statement drops like a lead balloon.
Sidney raises his dark eyebrows and stares at me concerned. "So she'd be your date?"
"Yeah I guess," I mumble and finish chewing another piece. When his eyes grow more concerned I get annoyed. "It's not the fucking prom Cros. It's a freaking kid's hospice fundraising event with season ticket holders and radio contest winners. Big deal."
"Well, the big deal isn't that you want to bring someone. It's that you want to bring her," he corrects me like a judgemental parent. "Did you not seal the deal that night you had her at your house?"
"Yeah I did," I reply and can't help but smile.
"So… why not take that Dani chick or whatever her name is from Clay's place," Sid questions. "You never did get to find out what fake tits feel like that night."
I shrug. "Vanessa is fun."
"Dude, she's Morgan's relative – well at least she might as well be," Sid starts arguing. "It's bad enough you slept with her once, you can't start leading her on."
"First of all," I say knowing full well I sound like a pissy teenager. "She's not his relative. Second of all I wouldn't be leading her on. I like her. She's cool."
"She lives in California," he reminds me pointedly and suddenly I am really tired of his anti-girlfriend attitude. Not that I want a girlfriend. "And she'll be going back there soon. The last thing you need is to get all tangled up with a girl on the other side of the country."
"It's one fucking date," I whine quietly so we don't get the other guys jumping into the conversation. "Not even a date. More of a favor. Last year two overweight forty year olds cornered me by the restrooms and tried to violate me. Ness would be saving me from that. That's all."
"And what if she doesn't see it as just that? What if she sees it as more? You're going to piss off Clay if you break his almost-sister's heart," he informs me crossing his arms and shaking his head in disapproval. Like he's so much better than me.
"Well at least I'm not fucking his actual sister on his sofa bed," I retort and instantly regret it.
Sidney's face turns pale and his jaw tightens and his brown eyes flare.
"How do you…?" he stops talking and swallows hard. "Look I don't know what you heard but I did NOT sleep with Bella."
"You just accidentally passed out naked on top of her?" I am enjoying his discomfort too much. I know that. It's mean, but I can't help it.
"I wasn't naked," he argues his eyes darting around relieved to see that Orpik and Cooke are in the closest seats and both have their ipods on. "I had pants on. And she had shorts on and her bra. And…"
"Whatever," I wave a hand in the air to stop his rambling. "You definitely didn't look platonic."
He shifts uncomfortably and stares at the carpet under us. "We might have made out…. For a few hours."
I laugh and for the first time in days my mood lightens. I love Sid. He's a good guy but he's always "on" – being the allstar perfect poster boy the world wants and needs him to be. My favorite Sidney Crosby is the one who acts like a human. The one who does stupid shit like make out with hot girls on sofa beds.
"But it was a mistake," he hurriedly explains. "She knows it too. She snuck into Vanessa's room or something by the time I woke up. And she didn't even look at me when I left that morning. I haven't, like, called her or anything."
I nod and finish my bagel grabbing a water and twisting the top off. "Randomly sucking face with a teammate's sister…. It's not like you to make that kind of mistake."
"Yeah, I know," he replies and then meets my eye again. "And it's not like you to make this kind of mistake."
I say nothing for a long moment. I worry he's right. That seeing Vanessa for a third time is a mistake. I know Sid's right, she lives across the country it's not like it can or will go anywhere. Why bother to spend more time with her?
Then suddenly Sid looks at me like a light bulb has gone off in his dark curly head.
"How the fuck did you know I was on the sofa bed? With Bella?" he wants to know. "I thought you left early?"
"I did," I reply shortly. "6am is really early."
"Where the fuck were you until 6am?" he hisses in an excited tone but I ignore him.
Without another word I push past him and beeline back to my seat.
As I plop down in my seat, I notice my phone is blinking. I have a text message. I forgot to turn it off when we took off and I should turn it off now because those are the rules but I also know that I'm not going to crash the plane if I take a look at it.
Max has his I-pod on and his eyes closed. Sidney has plopped down a row behind me next to Flower and, although he's glaring at me, he isn't about to come over and continue that conversation.
I'm here until the 20th. What's up?
I don't want to respond. I want to forget the whole fucking idea of seeing her again. But I can't deny hot how she is or how turned on she makes me. Or how she makes me laugh. Or how my mood lifted at just the simple fact she responded. And it is just one stupid charity event. And I really hate being pawed at by the cougars.
Are you free on the 13th? I need a favor. Can you cock-block cougars for me?
There. I did it. And I totally made it seem like this was a platonic favor. So if she bites she knows it's not all romantic or anything.
Sid was wrong. Maybe this isn't a one-night stand anymore but it's definitely nothing more than a fling. It's all good.
"There's a thing going on
The kinda thing that's strong
It's real and it's wrong
But what's going on is
You… You belong with me." Steve Carlson
"What is so important on your phone that you are not paying attention to this pretentious indie flick you forced me to watch?" Bella asks pointedly staring at me from the other end of the couch.
"Staal just invited me to some fundraiser thing," I reply calmly, biting the inside of my cheek to keep myself from grinning. I'm hoping using his last name will make me seem apathetic towards him and not giveaway the fact that all I think about lately is Jordan - his smile, his smartass sense of humor and his rock hard erection.
"Really?" She seems shocked and maybe a little disappointed?
"Yeah. On the 14th," I look up at her innocently. "He needs someone to cock block cougars."
She laughs out loud at that, her head flipping back.
"Those were his exact words," I add and laugh myself. "I guess there are a lot of horny middle aged females that follow hockey in this city."
"So are you going to help the poor boy out?" she raises her eyebrow and there is not a stitch of uncertainty in her face. She knows I said yes.
"I would hate to see him traumatized," I reply airily and Bella throws a throw pillow at my head.
"Molly Manners again huh?" She snarks and winks.
"You should come too," I suggest casually. "With Sidney."
She loses her smile instantly and shakes her head vigourously. Her thick wavy auburn hair tumbles around her shoulders. She has that perfect shampoo commercial hair. I'd hate her for it if she wasn't oblivious to it.
"Unlike you, I meant it when I Sid and I were not a thing," she replies a little pointedly. "It was one small mistake."
"He's small? That's sad."
"He's not small! In fact it felt like the polar opposite," she snaps back instantly and blushes. I giggle and clap my hands victoriously as my little joke got just the reaction I was hoping for.
Bella stands up and carries the empty popcorn bowl to the kitchen, dropping it on the island and turning back to me, the blush gone from her cheeks.
"I told you so," she says flatly.
"What?"
"I'll feel too bad to say it when he's decimated your heart and you're all blubbering and everything so I'm saying it now," she explains with no humor in her voice.
"He doesn't have my heart to decimate," I argue defiantly. "It's one stupid date. If he had a sister he would probably ask her."
"He doesn't have a sister?" Bella questions as she opens the fridge and pulls out the white wine we were drinking.
"Nope. Just 3 brothers," I tell her and smile. "Can you imagine being trapped on a sod farm with four boys? That hockey rink his dad built them was probably the only way to keep them from burning the house down. Especially because their house was small. Jordan almost killed Jared on a regular basis because they shared a room. I guess Jared used to snore even as a kid and it made Jordan blind with sleep-deprived rage. Anyway, I bet they never thought a deversion tactic would lead to four NHL careers."
I snap my mouth closed and stop talking when I see the look on my best friend's face. Bella looks like someone just told her she was dying of cancer… or like someone told her I was.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask in a high-pitched tense voice, clutching a throw pillow to my chest for support.
"Listen to yourself," she commands in a somber tone. "You just verbally threw up a million intimate details of his life."
"What? I did? I just… he…" I swallow and force myself to form a complete sentence. "We talked a lot the other night. You know… in between rounds of mind blowing sex."
"Look, I know this is your first attempt at a one night stand, but you're doing it wrong," Bella snaps and walks back over to sit on the couch again, carrying the wine bottle with her.
"First of all it's one night, not two," she starts to lecture me as she refills my wine glass. "And second of all, you don't talk."
"So it was invented by mimes?" I say smartly trying hard to bring some humor to what has become a serious conversation.
"No talking," she repeats and wags her finger at me. "Nothing more than turn over and do you have a condom."
I blink and bite my lip.
"Definitely no childhood memories for godssake," she rants and tosses her head back into the pillow closing her eyes against the world. "This is going to be worse than I thought now."
"Why?"
"Because it's not just going to end," she informs me. "It's going to implode."
I don't like the sound of that. And I want to argue with her. I want to tell her once again that there is no way Jordan Staal can break my heart. He has absolutely zero affect on my emotions in any way. But it would be a lie. And she wouldn't believe me anyway.
Luckily before she can glare at me again or I can respond her phone goes off with that silly Snoopy Dance ringtone she puts on every December from a Charlie Brown Christmas.
She stares at her phone and smiles sheepishly.
"What?" I want to know desperate for something – anything – that will pull the conversation off Jordan and I… not that there is a Jordan and I…
"It's Max Talbot," she says her voice full of the same disbelief I feel at hearing that. She looks up at me. "He wants to know if I can cock block cougars for him on the 14th."
"Oh!" I'm stunned. I thought for sure it would be Sidney that invited her. "Well, you're not going to go are you?"
"Why not? You are."
"Yeah but… I mean what will Sidney think?"
"Yeah see that's the difference between Sidney and I and you and Jordan," she explains confidently. "Sidney won't care in the least and even if he did, I wouldn't care."
She starts to type a message back, hits send and smiles triumphantly. "Looks like we should go dress shopping."
