Decisions and Discoveries
Hey everyone! Sorry for the updating delay but things have been CRAZY this past week with moving back into college and starting classes and…..yeah. So here is chapter 12 I'm gonna have to finish this story soon before things get intense in school cuz I don't want to keep leaving you all hanging! So enjoy your second to last chapter! : )
House's surgery continued for another fifteen hours and Cuddy stayed through the entire surgery. House went into cardiac arrest eight more times, each time with Cuddy fighting tirelessly for his leg. Wilson then proceeded to escort Cuddy back to her house.
Wilson stood in Cuddy's doorway and looked around, as if checking for monsters. "Are you…sure that you're going to be ok?"
Cuddy nodded slowly. "Yeah." Her eyelids starting closing on their own again and she smiled a little. "I'll be fine James. I just need to sleep for a while and then I'll head back to the hospital." She turned to walk into the bedroom and then whirled back around to face Wilson. "If House wakes up will you please call me and let me know?"
Wilson nodded and then suddenly walked up and grabbed Cuddy in a big hug. When he let go Cuddy stared at him, surprised. "What was that for?"
"I'm just glad that you two are alright," Wilson looked like he might start crying and Cuddy gave him another hug. "We're fine. Now go and get some rest and don't start crying on me!" Cuddy patted him on the back and he left quickly. Cuddy glanced around and noticed a small note on the bedroom door from the nanny: Lisa: I went ahead and took Rachel back with me to my house so that you could have some peace and quiet while you're resting up. I'm so glad to hear that you are alright. Cuddy smiled at the note andwalked into the bedroom. She noticed a shirt of Lucas' on the ground and felt a pang in her chest. She had been so nasty to him... She picked the shirt up and put it neatly on the chair before lying down on the bed. She was out as soon as her head hit the pillow.
MD
Cuddy woke up thirteen hours later, showered, dressed, and drove back to Princeton Plainsboro. She arrived and was immediately bombarded by House's team.
"How are you feeling?"
"Did you rest?"
"Are you feeling better?"
Cuddy took a step back and then held her arms out as if warding off an attacker and plowed right through him. Without thinking she found herself pushing the button for the elevator. Suddenly feeling queasy, she took a step back and walked over to the stairs before bolting up them as fast as she could. She arrived at House's room and saw that he was still unconscious from the surgery. She sat down on the couch next to the bed and picked up a magazine and began leafing through it.
Wilson walked in the door and Cuddy picked her head up. "James! How is House doing?"
"Well he woke up once but he wasn't really…all there," Wilson approached House's bed. "It could have been the medicine but I'm worried that he has brain damage," he looked at Cuddy, concerned.
"But you…you can't be serious!" Cuddy stared at Wilson in shock. "He can't…I mean…she turned back to look at House. "He wasn't…dead…for very long. Maybe two minutes!" She gulped.
"Yes. But he went into cardiac arrest eight more times Lisa. That's…" he shook his head. "He was mumbling something that I couldn't understand and he seemed completely dazed and confused…" Wilson shook his head.
Cuddy took House's hand gently and stared down at him as the machines beeped. "He looks so…lifeless," Cuddy could feel more hot tears springing to her eyes and she willed them away, a bit more successfully this time.
"Well he's been through this before. Physically he should recover fine his leg is doing well. The surgery that you used last time worked again. Only…if this ever happens again…"
"Well the odds of two infarctions happening…let alone three…." Cuddy couldn't grasp the idea of House having to face this problem again.
"Well with House…everything is unusual," Wilson added truthfully.
Cuddy nodded and then turned to Wilson, guiltily. "You don't think that…you don't think that he will blame me if he has any brain damage do you?"
Wilson shrugged. "He DID ask you to do anything to save his leg but with House…you never know." Wilson turned back around to leave. "I stayed with him when you were gone. Do you think that you could stay here with him now?"
Cuddy nodded. "Sure," she still hadn't let go of House's hand. "Yeah."
Wilson also nodded in reply and left the room.
Cuddy turned back to staring at House. She stood there for a couple more minutes before hearing a knock on the door. She turned to see Lucas standing there.
Cuddy tried to smile, but it didn't really work. She looked back down to House and let go of his hand before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her.
"Hi," she said awkwardly.
"Hi," he replied just as awkwardly.
"Look I…"
"No. Listen," Lucas interrupted. "I was being a total ass and I wasn't thinking about how you must have been feeling after being stuck with him in an elevator and then having to supervise a nearly suicidal surgery with him barely making it out alive and…" he stopped when he noticed Cuddy starting to twitch uncomfortably.
"The point is…." Lucas took a deep breath. "The point is…I am sorry." He looked at her, sadly. "Please don't…please don't let this ruin what we have."
Cuddy stared at Lucas, remorse written all over his face, and she couldn't be mad. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have just snapped at you like that I was just so worried about him and…" Cuddy stopped and put her head in her hands. Lucas hugged her and she accepted the hug gratefully.
MD
House opened his eyes, unsure of where exactly he was. The lights were very bright and his bum leg hurt like a….House stopped. He picked up his left leg slowly and nudged the right side of the bed. He felt his leg and nearly started to cry in relief. It was still there. His leg was STILL THERE. Cuddy had come through for him…again. House sighed in relief, and as his joy faded the searing pain came back. He tried to open his mouth but no words seemed to be able to come out. He turned his head slightly to the left and checked his medicine. As he ascertained, the morphine drip was no where hear as much as he needed.
He turned his head the other direction into the hallway and noticed Cuddy hugging Lucas tightly. He felt his stomach drop and almost immediately began to feel nauseous. He turned his head back to the middle and looked up at the ceiling.
The door opened and he saw Cuddy walk back into the room. She smiled. "Hey. You're awake. How are you feeling?"
House picked his left arm up, slowly, and tried pointing to the machine with the morphine drip. Cuddy glanced over. "You don't need any more medicine."
House nodded, frowning. Then he made a face of pain and Cuddy uncrossed her arms, sighing. "Alright. Alright. But just a little bit more. And don't let anyone know I'm doing this or I could be overthrown from my position of power."
House, within a couple seconds, could feel some of the pain going out of his leg and he relaxed a little bit against the pillows. Cuddy pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. "Does anything else hurt? Are you having trouble remembering anything?"
House closed his eyes for a second, thinking, and then re-opened his eyes and shook his head. Cuddy seemed to sigh with relief.
House glanced back over at the doorway and saw Lucas sitting in the waiting area reading a book. House looked back over at Cuddy and then pointed at Lucas.
"We talked and he's okay with me staying here with you for a while. He understands, after all we ARE friends," she smiled back at him.
House closed his eyes again, hating that she was saying that. Hating that she was even thinking that. Hated that….hated that she would never feel the same way about him as he felt about her. House opened his eyes and looked back at Cuddy. She was watching him closely and then her face suddenly contorted. "House! Don't cry! Everything's going to be alright."
House stared at her confused, and made a face. He slowly lifted his arm up to his face and realized that he had started to cry. Cuddy had grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and was wiping his eyes and cheeks. House let her, and watched her as she cleaned him up. She was right. This WAS what he wanted.
House opened his mouth and pushed the words out of his mouth. "Thank you." They were low and raspy but it worked. Cuddy's face glowed. "You can speak!" She sighed in relief and relaxed back against the chair.
House just watched her as she got up and ran out of the room for Wilson.
MD
The next couple of days seemed to move in slow motion for House. By the second day, he was having no trouble speaking anymore and by the third day he could sit up and was beginning to eat. Cuddy and Wilson alternated sitting in with him and even members of his team came in to talk and see how he was doing. But House really only enjoyed it when Cuddy was there. The longer she was in there…the better he seemed to get.
On the fifth day, House was watching a game on television and eating his lunch when Lucas walked in. House turned and saw him and immediately switched the game off.
"So how is your leg doing?" Lucas asked. He sat down on the couch.
"Well considering…." House began sarcastically, but he changed his mind. The man came in here for a serious discussion and he didn't want Cuddy after him like a hyena.
"Doing better," he answered truthfully and picked more at his food.
"I uhhhh…." Lucas cleared his throat and watched House. "I wanted to apologize."
House stared up at him. "What?"
"I…I feel like I destroyed the friendship we had," Lucas responded. "I mean we were best buddies….!"
"Not really," House interceded.
Lucas looked a little hurt but continued. "I knew that…I knew that you felt something for Lisa but I didn't think it was anything serious you know? I mean she's got this smoking hot body and all…" Lucas seemed to stop himself that time and House was grateful.
"What I'm saying is…I still want to be your friend. And even though you are a jerk sometimes, I still think that you're kind of cool," he shrugged.
House looked up at Lucas and saw nothing but sincerity and honesty in his speech. Lucas may be a bit of a child but…he was a good guy. House couldn't deny that. And he took care of Rachel…but Cuddy didn't love him. House looked back up at Lucas before staring back down at his meal. But Cuddy didn't love HIM either. Better to be with the honest guy than the stubborn ass with the bum leg.
House looked back up again at Lucas, who seemed nervous waiting for a response. "Thanks," he said quickly before looking back down at his food.
"You're welcome," Lucas said, a little shocked at House's civil reply. "And uh…if you ever need to investigate anything else you know who to call," he smiled at House who could only watch him leave the room. House suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore and pushed his food plate away.
MD
"Lisa! You HAVE to tell him!" Wilson threw his hands in the air and put them on his head. "You can't keep this from him!"
"But he's still recovering! I don't want him to go into some sort of remission," Cuddy groaned.
Wilson shook his head angrily. "You don't understand. He will be fine but he needs to KNOW. You can't just leave this hanging in the air!"
Cuddy sighed and put her face in her hands. "It's just… James….I don't think…what will he do?"
Wilson took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm thinking…a repeat of when Stacy left him."
Cuddy's jaw dropped. "You can't be serious! All I'm doing is transferring hospitals! I'm only going to be a state away! He can come visit me. I could come and see him…"
"Yeah right. Lisa." Wilson crossed his arms. "He will see this as you leaving him. He will get upset; react like he did when Stacy left. He will never come visit you because it would be torture for him to see your happy little family. And you won't come down to see him because you'll worry that your feelings for him will come to the forefront again."
Cuddy opened her mouth to retort but knew that it was useless. Wilson was right. As usual. "Do you really think that he is actually….in love with me?" Cuddy put her hands out, an act of desperation. A pleading with Wilson for the answer to be no.
Wilson pursed his lips. "Couldn't answer that for you for sure. Maybe you should ask him yourself." Wilson walked away leaving Cuddy in the middle of the hallway alone. She turned around and walked back to House's room.
She pulled open the door without hesitation and saw him just sitting there, staring out the window.
Cuddy took a deep breath and walked over to sit down next to House. "House. I have something to tell you."
House didn't remove his gaze from the window. "I know. You're leaving."
Cuddy, disbelieving, glanced around the room. "How did you know….?"
"You told me in the elevator, remember?" House remained fixated on the window.
"Ohhh…" Cuddy had forgotten. "Well I've been accepted as hospital administrator at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. So….I'm going to be leaving soon." She finished.
House continued to stare out the window. He said nothing.
"House…don't you…don't you have some sort of sarcastic response for me?" Cuddy inquired; perplexed at the silence that was facing her.
"Lucas apologized to me. He's not so bad after all," House's voice had taken a monotonous tone devoid of emotion and Cuddy took a deep breath. "Please House," she begged. "Please don't be miserable about this okay? We never got along anyway!" Her attempts to make him feel better were pathetic excuses and she knew it.
House remained catatonic and Cuddy stood up to leave. House didn't say a word and Cuddy left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. She turned around and Wilson was right there. She jumped and put a hand to her heart.
"Did you tell him?" Wilson asked anxiously.
Cuddy nodded and her eyes welled up. "He barely said a word. He just kept…staring out the window at something," she shook her head. "I was expecting something sarcastic something…in character! But not this," she looked back in at him. "He's…different."
"He'll come around," Wilson too was staring, concerned for House.
"Well…I'll ask him if he wants me to stay any longer," Cuddy, trying to find an excuse to go back into the room with him, opened the door and walked in followed by Wilson.
House continued to stare out the window. "Did you know that you can see Mayfield in here? All the way out in the distance?" House inquired quietly.
"No I…never noticed that before," Wilson said before glancing at a guilty Cuddy.
"Would you like me to stay with you a little longer…before I leave?" Cuddy asked him. "Lucas would understand and…I would like to see you through to recovery," she added.
House finally turned his head to face her. "Do you want to be here?"
"What?"
"Do you really want to help me or are you just being polite?"
Cuddy gazed at House, hurt. "Of course I want to! I wouldn't be in here if I didn't care!"
"You didn't care when I had to go to Mayfield," House muttered angrily and Cuddy actually felt a little relieved at the fact that he was showing emotion.
"Of course I did!" Cuddy frowned. "I helped you!"
"When?" House inquired.
"Well after Kutner died I was there to support you and when you hallucinated me I…"
"What?" House made a face.
Cuddy blinked. "Which part are you confused by?"
"The hallucination part," House responded. "I went to Mayfield because I was bothered by Kutner dying."
"Noooo" Cuddy glanced quickly at Wilson, bewildered. "After Kutner died you began to hallucinate Amber. Then you hallucinated having sex with me and thought it was real!"
"Before Mayfield," House made a gesture with his hand as if completing the sentence.
"Yes!" Cuddy nearly yelled.
"I don't remember that," House crossed his arms. "You're just making this up to…"
"House," Wilson said, frightened, "you don't remember coming to me, excited, because you thought that you had slept with Cuddy? You shouted from the balcony that you had sex with her? I took you to Mayfield…"
"Yes I remember you taking me to Mayfield," House answered annoyed.
"House if you're playing a joke…" Wilson started.
"I'm not playing a joke!" House yelled, frustrated. "I don't remember any hallucinations!"
Cuddy and Wilson turned to each other, horrified. "He's forgotten," Cuddy whispered.
So I hope that you liked the new chapter! I had all my ideas before I started writing but I didn't feel quite on the ball tonight so I apologize if any characters are OOC!
