Chapter 12 - Part 1
Jasper was driving through a road I couldn't completely identify. He was the opposite of Edward when it came to driving – slower and not that crazy. Some nice song was being played in the radio and it gave the night a really relaxing aura. Also the night, like wow, it'd been a long time since I'd last seen a night like this in Forks. Not one cloud on the sky and it seemed as if the stars were as shiny as ever.
Jasper's eyes were on me every five seconds and I was starting to feel really self conscious. Why did I let Alice apply me blusher? It'd be enough with the blush!
Okay seriously – too many looks. "What?" I asked Jasper when it'd been enough.
His eyes widened with the question and then he laughed. "I was creeping you out, wasn't I?"
I nodded. "Maybe," I laughed back. "So what is it?"
He shrugged. "Sorry, you really look beautiful tonight…" His voice came lower at the end, and it looked as if he turned a bit nervous.
Suddenly something Alice said in the house came to my mind. It wasn't for the exact situation the phrase was made – but, for some reason it sounded good. 'Don't make it easy for him.' I wouldn't.
"You already said that." I replied as I stared through the window.
"I-I know, I was just making it clearer…" His voice sounded a bit surprised… and embarrassed?
He suddenly laughed again – bitterly this time. "Jeez…" I looked at him to see him shaking his head.
"What?"
"You are always so difficult?"
"No. But you just can't buy me with a 'you look beautiful', that's all." And that was something I had to learn for the bad ways – but at least I had truly learnt it.
"What?" He frowned and stared deeply in my eyes – so much I feared we'd crash. "Do you think I think you are some kind of thing I can buy?"
"You are all the same," I shrugged and gulped the lump in my throat. "Romeo just doesn't exist."
His eyes were full of questions as he scrutinized me. "We seriously are not all the same, and it's true Romeo doesn't exist… but--- Who hurt you so badly?"
The question came so unexpectedly that I almost choked. "Wh-what are you saying?" I tried not to stutter – but I couldn't help it, I was actually surprised.
"Yeah, like… why you think all men are the same? Who made you think that?" His tone was curious and thorough as well. As if he was weighing up till which point he could go.
I cringed silently. My fists clenched involuntary, my heart roared for the pain – my brain for the memories. It was coming, the unbelievable painful mix of feelings were overpowering my system little by little – cell by cell.
"Are you okay?" I heard Jasper asking at me with a worried tone. But I just could not open my eyes. I nodded some times not wanting to worry him. "Are you sure? You look… distressed."
I breathed some times and made my best to open my eyes. Come on, Bella! Would he ruin another relationship when it hadn't even started?! Not that I thought this could turn into a relationship. Psst.
I met his confused eyes, and something in them made me want to tell him about it. To tell him my story. Though it would hurt as hell. "Jacob Black," I breathed.
"I'm sorry?" He frowned at my side.
"His name was Jacob Black… the one he made me think all men are the same. Jacob Black." Ouch. His name was still truly painful to say.
"Oh," He nodded. But somehow he was a bit tense. "So he does have a name."
"Yep. A very ugly one." I made a face. The truth was – it wasn't ugly at all. It was actually one of the prettiest names I'd ever heard. No way would I ever recognize that.
He laughed at my addition and frowned again. "Where is he from? I don't remember that name…"
"That's because he lives in the Quilette Reservation. Well, I heard he's been traveling all around the US for a year now… So he's not there now. Our fathers were best friends, that's why I knew him… After what happened they stopped talking." That made me sad too, Charlie and Billy were really good friends and everything was ruined then.
I could see the changes of expression on his face – and it felt good to know that he was actually paying attention to what I was saying. "What did this Jacob do to you?"
I sighed. "Just made me really unhappy and break my heart…"
He was tenser now. "I'm sorry. Why? What did that ass do to you? If I can know, of course…"
I laughed at his mention and breathed a bit calmer. "He cheated on me – badly. Like with my best friend?" Jeez, it was still really hard to say… and embarrasing.
His eyes widened with the twist. "Wow. That son of a b*tch!"
I laughed again. "Nah, poor mother she doesn't have the fault of having such a stupid kid. My ex-best friend on the other hand…"
"Do I know her?" he questioned while turning to the left.
I shook my head. "Don't think so. She's from the reservation too. Leah Clearwater is her name. Luckily she has moved out to New Orleans with her family, now… They said it was because of her father's work – I know it was both because of that and because of the shame." I actually felt truly relieved, telling him all this. Things I didn't usually let myself talk to.
We stayed quiet for some minutes and then he broke the silence – his voice almost as a whisper.
"You still love him?"
"No." Of that thing I was sure. I'd never love someone that had hurt me so badly.
"You miss him?"
I took a deep breath. "Sometimes…"
The quietness came again. And once more he broke it.
"We truly aren't all the same, you know?"
I nodded."I know," Just one name came to my head immediately. Edward. He wasn't as the other guys, I was sure of that. It made me smile a bit and just for a fraction of a second I wondered what could he possibly be doing now, maybe he was with his awful girl friend, doing something I just really didn't want to think of. Maybe he was bored? I had to suppress a laugh as I remembered one time last year that we were really bored so he decided that we needed to dress up as if we were hippies. So we went to the centre of the town and started talking to everyone with a hippie voice and telling them whatever craziness it occurred to us… they didn't even noticed we were us! It was hilarious, we almost peed our pants the whole time.
"But you are like that," I told him.
He frowned. "I'm not!" I glared at him. "Well—I'm a player, that's true… But I'd never cheat on anybody. I think it's really low."
That made me smile. That was nice. "I don't know why but I believe you…"
It was his turn to smile. "Glad to hear that. And what about Cullen, he's a player too, isn't he?" His tone was a bit skeptical in the last part and a bit harsh too.
"Edward?" That came from nowhere. "He really isn't. At all. He's been with some of the girls from this town but they were dating or something like that. He really isn't one."
"Alright, alright, you really are always like standing up for him…" He tried to laugh but I could sense the seriousness of his question.
I shrugged. But it was true. "Yes, maybe. He's just my best friend and I love him, that's all."
"That's cool," Yeah, well he should have told that to his face – because it showed the opposite. The car suddenly stopped and he grinned. "We are here."
Wow.
