Disclaimer: Hinata walks in. "Th-this m-man d-doesn't own N-Naruto-kun. Th-that p-p-pleasure b-belongs to K-Kishimoto and me." Naruto walks in. "Hey Hinata!" Hinata "EEP!" Hinata faints. Naruto, "Huh, weird."
AN: Yes I now realize that the last chapter ended up like a large paragraph. I'm sorry. I'm still working on learning the new word processor. Here's the next chapter. And this is a couple days later than where I ended.
Naruto was woken up by a bright ray of sunlight for the third time that morning.
"WHO KEEPS MOVING THE DAMN SUN?" the frustrated blonde screamed.
A familiar giggle interrupted his sun hating thoughts. Hinata jumped forward, landing hands and knees on Naruto's bed. "Happy birthday, Naruto-kun!" she exclaimed as Sasuke walked in.
The blonde started counting on his fingers as the Uchiha leaned against the door frame. "What do you know, it is my birthday."
Both of the darker haired ninja face faulted, the heiress' foot twitching slightly. "YOU FORGOT YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY?" the Hyuuga cried out.
"No," Naruto said. "It's just that I've never celebrated my birthday."
"I always wondered about that," Sasuke said.
"Until I was six, the villagers always sought me out on my birthday, other celebratory holidays, or whenever they were just plain drunk. And when they found me they beat me mercilessly," Naruto said. Hinata gasped, and Sasuke looked stunned. "The hokage explained why he couldn't do any thing. I'm sure you both noticed the low number of jonin in the village." The two darker haired ninja nodded. "we as a village were still recovering from the third ninja wars and the kyuubi attack. As such, we couldn't afford to lose any of our shinobi. The shinobi that attacked me were stripped in rank and were docked pay. Because I was still a civilian at that time, the council was able to issue pardons to any civilian that participated." he choked back a sob. "and when some kind soul finally took me to the hospital, the doctors insured that I received sub-standard treatment. They even tried to poison me, though they claimed they didn't know how the arsenic ended up in my IV." Naruto looked down, tears forming at the painful memories.
Hinata grabbed Naruto's face, lifting his head so that his deep blue eyes were staring directly into her pale lavender ones.
"You are not alone any more," the girl said, stressing the 'not'. "You have friends who care for and love you. I love you. You don't have to worry about that anymore."
"Hinata..." Naruto said.
The young heiress put a finger to his lips,effectively silencing him. She leaned forward and kissed him gently.
"AHEM," Sasuke cleared his throat loudly.
"Oh, right," Hinata said, cheeks bright red. She grabbed a box from the floor and thrust it at Naruto's chest. "Open it!"
The package was wrapped in expensive metallic wrapping paper, purple in color, with a darker purple metallic ribbon. Naruto opened the package carefully, realizing that the paper must have cost a fortune.
(Some where in Konoha a merchant was jumping for joy with several bags worth of money while in yet another part of Konoha a certain clan leader was crying about how he couldn't say no to his daughter's choice of wrapping paper.)
Inside the box was a set of documents. "What the-" Naruto said, skimming over the papers. "WHAT THE HELL?"
"What is it," the Uchiha asked him.
"M-marriage documents." the blond stammered.
"So I guess I'm looking at Konoha's latest couple," the Uchiha said.
In response, Hinata put Naruto in a hug that only anime women could. You know, the one where they end up suffocating the man they love in their breasts. Yeah, that one.
"Hinata, I think you're choking him," Sasuke said.
The lavender haired girl thrust the semi-unfortunate blonde away from her chest. Sure enough, where his eyes should be were little spirals spinning in place, and he had drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry Naruto-kun!"
after ten minutes, the girl managed to revive the blonde to state of coherency. As soon as his eyes reclaimed their sparkle, she shoved the papers in his face. "sign it."
"Are you sure you want this?" the blonde asked.
"Hai," the hyuuga said, forcing a pen into the jinchuuriki's hand.
"And now it's Konoha's latest newly weds," Sasuke said as the documents were filled out.
Hinata shook her head. "They don't take effect until at least one of us is chunin, unless a ceremony is held before then." the Uchiha shrugged. Hinata gave him an evil grin. "You know, you could use a girlfriend yourself. I happen to have this... wonderful... sister that would be perfect for you."
"I think I'll pass," Sasuke said. "I'm not a pedophile. Besides Kakashi-sensei wanted us to meet him at the training field."
"Oh yeah," Hinata said. She grabbed the blonde by the hand and dragged him out. Either she was blissfully ignorant of the fact that he was still in his pajamas, or she simply didn't care. ( "Completely prejudiced here," the author says, "but my preference is that she is ignorant of the fact-"
Hinata glares at author. "Maybe not," author shudders.)
"There you are," Kakashi said as his team arrived, one blonde in pajamas. All according to the plan. ("Plan," the author asks, "what plan?" "Shh," Kakashi whispers. "It's a secret.") "Hinata, Sasuke, the hokage wanted to see you in his office." the two bowed and ran off. "Naruto, I have a couple of special missions for you."
"REALLY?" the blonde asked with excitement, stars shining in his all black eyes... wait aren't his eyes blue? The eyes soon shifted to normal. The silver haired jonin nodded and Naruto yelled out in victory.
"I know you were raised with the Uchiha, so you should know at least one fire jutsu, right?" Kakashi asked, to which Naruto nodded. "i want you to pick one and use it on that pile of leaves over there," he gestured. "The bigger the better."
"Okay!" Naruto said. He flashed through a few hand seals before calling out "KATON: GOUKAKYU NO JUTSU!"
A massive fire ball burst from his mouth and flew towards the leaves. The pile caught fire instantly, dispelling the henge. It was revealed to be something, a semi spectacular eye sore.
"those look like..." Naruto began.
"Every last one of your hideous orange jumpsuits?" Kakashi ventured. "They are."
indeed, the pile was every last one of the hundred or so orange outfits that Naruto wore. If one looked closely, there were also oil cans and explosive notes in the pile. Naruto didn't look closely. As he ran to save at least one of the garish garments, the pile exploded, and fireworks shot out, spelling 'DEATH OF THE ORANGE JUMPSUITS, MISSION COMPLETE.'
"Your first mission today," Kakashi said. "I want you to pick out a new outfit, one that meets my approval."
"Okay," the blonde said glumly.
"Hey, don't look so down," Kakashi said. "After all, I'm the one paying for it. Think of it as a birthday present." Naruto instantly perked up. Slightly.
Naruto and Kakashi went to the nearest clothing store, Naruto using a henge to look like he was wearing his normal clothes. At first the owner of the store was adamant about refusing service to the boy, but Kakashi took the man into a corner and began talking to him in a hushed whisper, occasionally using a kunai to punctuate something he said. When they were finished, the man seemed eager to help Naruto, very eager. As if his life, or something more precious were dependent upon it.
("Hey," Kakashi says to the author with an evil grin and kunai, "don't be giving away my secrets now." the author nods and gulps.)
Naruto went through many outfits, ignoring the one's Kakashi picked out. The jonin handed him clothes that were eerily similar to his own. Reminding Naruto of a certain team, in which one genin looked exactly like his sensei, only with white bandages over his hands and the wrists, covering part of his green spandex outfit. (Else where in Konoha, Maito Gai, and his apprentice Rock Lee, sneezed.)
The blonde ended up in a sleeveless black shirt that was a little form-fitting, though very flexible, a pair of black cargo pants with a red stripe running down either leg, black and red shinobi sandals and a black and red genin vest. (take the jonin vest, add two pockets, just underneath the existing pockets. Make the vest black, with red pockets (the top flaps of each pocket only), shoulders, and collar. The trimming next to the zipper is also red. By the way, has any else noticed that the chunin and jonin vests look exactly alike? And yes the red spiral that is usually on Konoha shinobis' clothes is on Naruto's vest.
"Not too bad Naruto," Kakashi said. 'DAMN! He'll have to beat the girls back with a stick.'
"Thanks, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said. As he bought the out fit, three more in the same colors, and two each in blue and green. With Kakashi's money.
Kakashi next took Naruto to the weapon store. Kakashi steered Naruto, not an easy task I assure you, to the swords. Naruto pouted, seeing as he wanted to look at the new kunai and shuriken and other throwing weapons. While in the sword department they ran into Morino Ibiki, the head of the Torture and Interrogation department of Konoha's intelligence.
"Ibiki-san!" Naruto called out. Training underneath Itachi, Naruto met all sorts of people from the …. shadier... side of Konoha's law enforcement.
"Hey Naruto," the usually cold and sadistic man said with a warm smile. "what are you doing here?"
("You ever tell a soul," Ibiki threatened, "I'll make you live to regret it." "well," the author said, "it is in the story so people are going to read it..." Ibiki gave a sadistic grin and pulled out a dull, splintery wooden spoon that still managed to have rust on it. "Left nut? Or right?" "I have a story to finish," the author said, backing up. "It doesn't take a nut to write a story does it?" Ibiki asked. "Besides, it'll only take a moment." Author uses a desperation move. "AUTHOR STYLE: WALL OF GIBERISH JUTSU!" a visible wall of words forms in between the two men. The author sighs with relief as Ibiki sighs in defeat.)
"I'm here with Kakashi-sensei," the blonde said.
"What's with the new look?" the scarred chunin asked.
"I decided that orange is not a ninja color," Kakashi said, causing Ibiki to chuckle. "And since it is Naruto's birthday, I decided to get him a sword."
"Happy birthday Naruto," Ibiki said. He pulled out a scroll and handed it to Naruto. "it won't help much with swords, but it does wonders for taijutsu. And other things." he gently rubbed a point on the back of Kakashi's neck, causing the jonin to urinate himself involuntarily.
As Naruto opened the scroll, Kakashi turned to Ibiki "I'll get you for that." while the boy was distracted, the silver haired jonin passed a note to the scarred chunin.
"I'll catch you later, kid," Ibiki said, vanishing in a swirl of leaves.
Kakashi picked out a sturdy katana and two similar ninjato for the genin. After paying for them and dragging the blonde to the training grounds, he grabbed the scroll of pressure points from Naruto and rolled it up. "you can have this back after training. We are going over the basics of using swords. The katana is for reach and power. The ninjato are for speed, defense, and overall balance." he handed the blades to Naruto, who strapped the katana over his shoulder and the ninjato to his sides, slightly set to the rear to keep them out of the way. "now let's get started."
Kakashi taught Naruto the secret to the kage bunshin. He then proceeded to beat the boy mercilessly while the clones all practiced basic movements with the blades. They continued like this until lunch, which was delivered courtesy of Ichiraku, and then resumed training until the sun was almost setting.
"Enough," Kakashi said. "We need to report to the hokage's office now."
"Alright," Naruto grumbled. He was having fun out here training.
Before the pair had gotten more than a few steps, an anbu appeared and whispered a few words in Kakashi's ear. The silver haired jonin nodded and the anbu vanished. "it seems that there has been a change of plans. The hokage is waiting for us at your place. Let's go."
The two walked with a slow pace to the Uchiha compound.
The pace they walked out wasn't that slow, and they made a straight line for the compound, but it still took them thirty minutes to walk there. Naruto decided to name the strange event the "Kakashi Phenomenon.' the teacher and student made their way to the main sitting room. Naruto went first, and was unable to see Kakashi giving a thumbs up. As he crossed the threshold, the light flicked on and people jumped out of hiding yelling "HAPPY BIRTHDAY NARUTO(-KUN)!" (Ten points to who can guess who added the -kun at the end.)
Naruto, in surprise fell back, giving a shout of "GYAAAH!", causing everyone to laugh.
"What kind of reaction is that to an ambush," Kiba asked. Although they viewed each other as occasion rivals, Naruto and Kiba were really good friends.
"The kind that keeps me from losing my head to the nearest swordsman?" Naruto ventured, gaining his feet.
Kiba shrugged. If it works, it works. Truth be told this exact reaction will save Kiba's life in two days on a c-class bandit raiding mission.("Shh. Don't tell.")
The rest of the party went well. Every one of Naruto's precious people (Minus Itachi) (Plus a few of Sasuke's fangirls) were there. They even made a large orange cake, which they noted didn't match anymore.
Everyone brought presents, save for those who had already given Naruto gifts. Sasuke gave Naruto an ornamental black kitsune mask with red eyes, causing the older shinobi to shudder. (I wonder why. Random ninja, "*Cough*Kyuubi*Cough*.") The hokage got him a sword care kit. Anko gave the blonde a sleeveless black trench coat that fit well over his vest. (he found out that the shoulder pieces on the vest were detachable and that he could put them over the trench coat, which he did.) Hiashi gave him a pair of metal backed fingerless black gloves that went to his elbows. The metal on the gloves was red. Everyone else got him and Ayame, the owners of Ichiraku Ramen, decided to cook some of that ramen for dinner.
After the meal was cooked and everyone was eating, Hiashi and the hokage stood up. "We have an anouncement to make," Hiahsi said. "As of this morning, the paper work was completed and my daughter and Naruto shall be officially married when one of them becomes a chuunin, or we hold a ceremony at an earlier date."
This caused everyone (not including Hinata, Sasuke, or Naruto), except for Kakashi (who had finished his dinner in less than a second), to start choking on their noodles. ("Have you ever even seen your face?" the author asks Kakashi. "No," the silver haired jonin said. After an epic fight, kakashi's face is revealed. "you know, if you didn't hide your face you might get a few girls," the author said.
"Already got one." "What!" "Kakashi-Kuuuuun!" Anko calls out from a newly appeared doorway. Author's jaw drops.)
Anko was the first to recover. "Congrats gaki," she said cheefully. She then glared at Kakashi, as if telling him her finger needed a ring. Fast. But no one noticed. Or did they...?
"Anko-nee-chan?" Naruto asked.
"hmm," the snake mistress said, swallowing another mouthful of noodles.
"Are you dating Kakashi-sensei?" the blonde asked. People dropped chopsticks at the blondes stupid question. They immedieately picked them up and began eating again.
"Yes I am," the violet haired kunoichi said, causing another round of ramen choking, followed by stunned silence. Did the most oblivious boy in the world catch something everyone else overlooked? Yes he did.
After the party was over, everyone went home having strange thoughts to work out. Or, in the case of those with very active imaginations, beat out. Very determindly. Preferably with a large hammer.
Hiashi was glad he had left his youngest daughter at home. Anko was the type of woman he wanted to keep her away from. (Unfortunately for him, anko ends up being his daughter's sensei, after finding out how fun it is from helping Kakashi, though that is another chapter.)
