A soft moan woke him from his sleep, and for a moment Cullen wondered if he was still dreaming. Curled around him was Solona, arm draped over his chest and one of her legs between his. She had changed positions and was now nestled below his arm that he hadn't realized was wrapped around her. He could feel the warmth of her breath against his skin as she slept, and the last thing he wanted to do was wake her. But the sun was slowly rising outside the bedroom window, and he'd have to return to the Gallows.
They hadn't gone beyond kissing last night, Solona staying true to her word and stopping their passionate kisses before both of them reached the point of no return. Cullen knew she had wanted more in the way her tongue had danced with his, but she didn't push him. He was starting to wonder if he'd ever have the courage to move forward with their relationship. She had been patient with him for years, would she continue to do so?
With gentle strokes he caressed her arm still covered in his shirt. "Solona," he whispered, hating himself for ruining this perfect moment. Her lashes fluttered, the light touch tickling him, but she seemed to drift back to sleep a minute later.
Or so he thought. She was awake, but Solona had no desire to move. The gentle rise and fall of Cullen's chest beside her, the warmth of his body enveloping her as if she were wrapped in some protective cocoon, and the familiar scent of him were all very good reasons not to move, and so she didn't. His light touch on her arm caused small bumps on her skin and she involuntarily shivered when he continued up her arm to her neck.
"I know you're awake," Cullen stated as he applied a small amount of pressure to the base of her skull. Circular motions with his thumb in that exact spot caused her to moan again, and he couldn't help but smile. This was a stubbornness of hers he could get used to.
Solona shifted, pressing her body closer to his and lifting her head only to place it on his chest. The slow rhythm of his heart beating combined with his massaging her neck only made her want to stay in bed longer. "Shhh," she warned, turning her head slightly to kiss his chest. "One more hour."
He continued his ministrations on her skin but refused to let her go back to sleep. "We can't," Cullen said to her regrettably. "At least I can't. I need to get back."
She felt him hold his breath as she took her hand and traced the top of his shorts, grazing his skin lightly enough to tickle. "Are you sure?" Solona asked, clearly seeing the reaction her touch had on him.
Cullen brought his other hand to hers, stopping her taunting movements. "Solona," he said her name with great strain as he tried to control the building desire he felt. "What of your promise?"
She kissed his chest once more before lifting her head to look at him. "I promised we would sleep," Solona reminded him of the specifics with a sly grin. "According to you we are done sleeping."
He looked down at her and wondered to himself why he was feeling apprehensive. Everything about this moment felt so right to him, and he could not deny the love he felt for her when he looked into her eyes. Yet Cullen hesitated. And he almost hated himself for it. He had denied her in the Circle, again last night, and yet she had the patience of Andraste, never pushing him beyond what he was willing to give. All the excuses he had told himself back then seemed meaningless now as he held her in his arms.
Solona saw the conflict in his eyes and silently cursed herself for even suggesting they take things further. Her smile faded and she turned away from him before he could see the disappointment in her eyes. She untangled her limbs from his and offered one last kiss to his chest before she sat up. "You're right, it's getting late," she said as she removed the covers from her lower body.
Cullen reached for her arm before she could escape the bed. "No," he said to her, pulling her back down beside him. "No, I can not keep doing this."
She looked at him with concern, laying her arm across his torso again. "Keep doing what Cullen?"
"Denying you," he stated. "Denying myself. There is nothing I want more than to be with you. And I can no longer think of reasons why we must continue to wait."
Noting the determination in his expression, now it was Solona who suddenly became nervous. To hear these words from him after so many years, was she still dreaming? "I want nothing more than to be with you as well," she told him. "But you need to be sure. I can not do this if you will regret it later."
He brought his hand to her cheek and she melted into his palm. "My only regret is waiting this long," Cullen told her. "Fate has brought you to me again and I will not tempt it any further. Please Solona, please forgive me for my years of naivety and be with me now."
She leaned forward and kissed him softly, lingering only for a moment before pulling away. "Cullen, there's something I must tell you first. I need to be honest with you if we are to be together."
"Your past is your own," he assured her, assuming she was going to confess to some other sexual partners. That was never something he was going to hold against her.
"That's just it," Solona said quietly. "There is no past to speak of." She lowered her head, surprised at how embarrassed she felt. "I always meant for you to be my first."
For a moment Cullen could feel nothing beyond pure shock. She had waited for him? There had been so many years, and so many tragedies, between the beginning of their flirtations and now... he had never imagined, even for a moment, that she was still a virgin. His heart pounded in his chest as the shock slowly melted away, replaced by an even more overwhelming desire. He lifted a shaking hand to her chin, tilting her face up so their eyes met. Her normal teasing, taunting, defiant attitude was nowhere to be seen in the way she looked back at him. It was clear she was as nervous as he was. "Be with me," he repeated softly, kissing her forehead.
Their lips met, and though they'd kissed one another perhaps a hundred times before, this time felt different than all the others. Cullen pulled away first, and felt a smile curving his lips as it occurred to him why - this time, instead of the meeting of their tongues stoking a fire of desire that would be ignored, it was only the prelude.
He reached for the hem of the shirt she was wearing, and she obediently lifted her arms and allowed him to pull it up over her head. He tossed it aside and simply stared at her for a long moment, wanting to drink in the sight of her nakedness before they went any further. His smile widened when spots of color appeared on her cheeks, and he forced himself to look away and remove his own clothing, not wanting to embarrass her. When he, too, was naked he looked back at her, allowing her a moment to gaze upon him as he had her.
She moved a moment later, closing the small distance between them and laying herself on top of him. The feel of her flesh pressed against his own, with no barrier between them, was almost enough to make him lose himself then and there. For so long this moment had been only fantasy; to have it made reality seemed almost impossible. He resisted the urge to pinch himself, to make sure this was truly happening, and instead reached for her. His hands went to her hips as he braced himself, and then he lifted her up, off of him and down onto the bed, before following a moment later.
Everything that followed from that moment was beyond any dreams he'd ever had. They explored one another's bodies on instinct, letting intuition guide them where experience faltered. Solona seemed to know just how to touch and caress to make him lose himself in a sea of desire. He responded with his own caresses of her, teasing and gentle and patient. Time lost all meaning to them, as they learned each others rhythms and desires, as well as discovered their own.
When it was over, when they lay panting and sated next to one another, neither could have explained what had happened. Whether she slowly sank down on top of him, or he gently sank into her, how long they'd stayed locked together in that way they'd avoided for so long, how it felt to finally be connected in body, the way they'd always been in mind... it was beyond description, beyond anything either had ever felt in their lives.
Cullen fought off the exhaustion that beckoned long enough to bring his mouth down upon hers one more time, then allowed his suddenly heavy eyes to shut. Solona smiled, curling her body closer to his, and felt a peaceful, sated sleep descend.
._.~`~._.*~*~*._.~`~._.
Varric moved swiftly through the streets of Hightown to Hawke's estate, trying to ignore the feeling that he was being followed. He'd slipped into a few shadows along the way, maybe not as skillfully as Isabela, but then again nobody could outdo Rivaini in the stealth department. He hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary, yet that didn't mean he was wrong. He'd much rather have avoided the estate entirely, but unfortunately, time was not on his side.
Rapidly, he knocked at the door until Bodahn let him in. "Anyone here?" he asked his fellow dwarf.
"Master Carver is in the study," Bodahn reported. "And I believe our hero is still upstairs."
Varric eyed him curiously. "Late sleeper, is she?"
"She may have... company," Bodahn replied. "I do not recall the Knight-Commander leaving the estate last night, though I could be mistaken."
Cursing at the lack of time to hear a good story, Varric moved through the estate toward the study. When the two dwarves entered, Carver looked up from the letters sprawled out on the table. "Varric. Surprised to see you here so early."
"Early?" Varric scoffed. "I've been up all night looking into your seeker problem. It's bigger than we expected."
The alarm was clear in his expression. Carver stood, gathered the letters and handed them to Bodahn. "How much bigger?" he asked.
"Bigger than that old chip on your shoulder, Junior. Solona won't make it out of the city in time," Varric informed him. "They'll be here before sundown at the rate they're traveling. Rivaini stayed behind on the hunt for the phylactery, but I gotta tell ya, it does not look promising. They've brought an army with them - I think they completely emptied out Val Royeaux."
Carver sat back down, rubbing his forehead as he thought. "I haven't even had time to warn my sister. If we're lucky, she won't attack first and ask questions later."
"You'll be lucky to make it out of the city at all," Varric insisted.
"I'll make the preparations immediately," Bodahn startled them both when he spoke - they'd forgotten he was there. "If we're sticking to the original plan, my boy and I can be ready by this afternoon."
Carver looked at him. "Do it. But first see to it that Solona is informed of what is happening."
Bodahn shifted uncomfortably. "You want me to er... interrupt them messere?"
Varric smiled at the awkward expression on Carver's face. It was difficult enough accepting that his superior might have slept only a few rooms away from him last night - and with his cousin; the last thing he wanted was confirmation of it. Hearing Bodahn suggest interrupting them made it clear his suspicions were correct. "Give them another hour, but no longer."
Varric rested Bianca on the table. "You take care of what you need to Bodahn. I'll make sure the hero knows what's going on."
Both Bodahn and Carver knew exactly why Varric had made the offer, and to Varric's delight neither one of them seemed to want to protest.
