Chapter 12
Meanwhile, in a corridor
Tali: I never did ask, when did you both decide to…
Garrus: To?
Tali: When did you decide to become a couple?
Shepard: When he drugged me, punched me and told me to shut the fuck up, I knew he was the man for me.
Tali: Fine, don't tell me.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Timeline: A House Divided
Garrus
He was not going to admit to her that keeping Legion was a good idea. They'd rewritten heretics, something he couldn't understand in its implications. Neither did she, he knew, but it was a step toward hopeful.
They'd done all they could do, it was time to wait for the IFF to be installed, and all active agents for ground missions were shoved into the shuttle. That was a lot of people in a shuttle. Since there was nothing else to do she'd called an impromptu shore leave. She'd given people warning, so those who were inclined were more casually dressed. Morim was in a green silk dress. Legion had no choice, of course, but Morim wanted to bring him as her personal Geth because she thought he was adorable and wanted…really wanted…someone to stop her so she could say he was a Spectre Assistant and she was testing a pilot program created by talented Asari robotics specialists in order to infiltrate the Geth. She'd get away with it.
They headed to Ilium, to buy out a room in Eternity and have a final party. Housing was arranged. Morim had spoken to the bartender several times before this, they got along. She'd promised to pay for any damages. Particularly if done by a metallic-plated Krogan. Morim had provided a large hunk of credits up front. She'd asked, and Conrad Verner was nowhere to be seen. Unfortunately Liara was on the ship orbiting Hagalaz, it would have been nice to see her again.
Morim was giving out the last instructions, before everyone scattered. The room at Eternity would be available to everyone, and a running tab covered by Morim, people were free to do what they wanted to do.
She yelled over the crowd "Hey! Everyone have fun, that's an actual order. If your idea of fun is a nap or to get the hell away from me, that's cool. Eternity will be the only base of operations unless someone has an inspiration. Try not to have any destructive inspirations, Grunt!"
All Grunt did was laugh, his slow delivery promising that he'd heard, but didn't really care. "You shouldn't have let it slip that you'll pay for damages, Shepard!"
She said "Yeah, yeah. Planning is not permission! Anyway, I'll be at Eternity, if anybody wants to talk to me, grab a drink with me or make fun of my dancing. The menace changes, but my incompetence stays the same. Enjoy your evening, meet back at this ridiculously overcrowded shuttle in 24 hours."
She let everybody else get off first, and the clump of people slowly dispersed and thinned out.
He and Morim planned to go to Eternity for at least a little while. When they sat down, Morim sat with Garrus on one side and Thane on the other, and Legion hovered uncomfortably close at her shoulder. Morim didn't seem to notice and when Garrus said "Okay, look, that's just creepy." Morim laughed and said "Give the guy a break. Legion, you're doing just fine."
Thane said "Siha, I have seen you fight, I can't imagine you are as poor of a dancer as you pretend."
Garrus laughed "Oh. You still have some things to learn, Krios."
Morim said "Take it from the dance veteran. It's a sad, sad tale, Thane."
Thane stood and held out a hand formally, one behind his back, in a half bow. "This I must see for myself."
Morim laughed, took his hand and said "Protect your toes, that's all I have to say."
He watched and she was, as promised, truly terrible. Thane actually smiled and he could have sworn almost laughed. Eventually to spare his own toes, Thane lifted her and swung her around so she wasn't on her feet…or his…for the last quarter of the song. Thane was as graceful as a dancer as Garrus had imagined, and dancing with Morim was fine now. Feeling jealous would have been an insult to her…and to Thane.
When they returned to the table Tali and Jack were laughing and toasting to them, and when they sat back down, Thane said "I must concede. I defer to the more experienced."
Morim said "You handled that with grace. Thank you. Perhaps if you danced with Tali, you can get the taste of that out of your mouth. She can, in fact, dance."
Thane extended his hand to Tali, who accepted, and then they managed to restore the honor of the Normandy.
Jack grabbed Jacob's hand, who shrugged and they managed to do well also. Talented bunch.
There was a resounding crash as Grunt dented the floor, having jumped off a higher balcony.
Morim said "Legion, I can't see, is he moving?"
Legion said "He is breathing. Vital signs positive."
Morim said to Garrus "See? I told you he was useful." Shepard stood up, walked over to Grunt and offered him a hand. He jumped up, hands over his head in a victory pose, shouting "AIR SUPERIORITY!"
She said "That's not what that phrase means, Grunt. C'mon, let's go talk to the bartender, she's got some Krogan history you should know."
Tali asked him to dance next, and he indulged her, and then Jack. He went back to the table to talk for a while. Morim was still engaged at the bar, leaning forward and listening to the bartender's stories. Aethyta, that was her name. A man had broken out of the crowd, angling his way toward Morim.
The man was trying to get her attention, but was failing. There was no reason this couldn't be fun. The guy was very drunk, weaving on his feet, and when verbal distraction didn't work he leaned into her and grabbed at her elbow, and she just turned and looked at him, not bothered at all.
He decided what the hell and walked up behind him, pushed the guy's head down to the bar, not too hard, and said angrily "Is this guy bothering you, ma'am?" Then he smiled at her.
Morim's lips twitched and she said "He hadn't managed to bother me yet. Is he bothering you?"
The guy said "Get your fucking hands off me." Aethyta rolled her eyes and went back to talking to Grunt.
Morim explained "You probably shouldn't have touched me. I'm just here with my friends, I'm not interested. Perhaps me ignoring you might have tipped you off to that."
The guy did not know when to stop and just said "So what, you're going to fuck the Krogan or the Asari?"
She said "Neither. I'm going to fuck the Turian."
Garrus nodded.
The guy said "Ew. Lady. You can do better."
Morim laughed and Garrus let him up and she said "No, I really can't. Nobody can. Good luck. No hard feelings."
He rubbed his jaw "Easy for you to say."
Morim said "Okay, drinks for the rest of the night are on me." She hooked a thumb at him, nodded to Aethyta, who nodded back.
Garrus decided that was enough socializing, and picked her up and carried her out. She waved over his shoulder to various cheers and heckles. He walked out into the hallway and then stopped after turning the corner "This would be so much more dramatic if I knew where I was going."
She laughed and gave him a combination of "forward, straight, forward, up, are you doing okay, you need a break?" She had no actual idea where she was going either, he realized.
He said "I swear to the Spirits, Shepard, if we stay lost all night you're going to have to fuck a Turian under a desk or in a taxi."
She started to laugh harder and then said "Oh, shit. Legion's following us."
Garrus let her down, maybe not immediately, but eventually, grabbing at every body part that struggled out of his grip. She slapped his hands and said "Obnoxious."
She walked over to Legion, who was several paces behind, his head plates moving awkwardly as she approached.
She said "Legion. Don't you want to stay at the party?"
He was silent for a few moments, and Garrus's heart almost went out to the thing. Almost. Okay, he could see why Shepard liked it.
Legion said quietly "Shepard Commander. Do…" His head gestured toward Garrus briefly "you…need ass…is…tance?"
Garrus started to laugh at his attempt at whispering and confidence and she said "Oh, oh no. Legion, it's okay. Garrus wasn't hurting me. It was…like a joke."
Garrus said "Except that I was serious."
Morim waved her hand at him and Legion kept his attention on him for a moment longer than necessary. Morim said "Garrus wasn't hurting me. Garrus wouldn't hurt me."
Garrus said knowingly "That's not exactly true."
Morim glared at him and waved her hand again. Legion straightened his shoulders as though he were about to make up his own mind on the subject. Morim said "Gah. Okay. To clarify. Garrus would not hurt me in a way that I would not like him to hurt me."
Legion didn't respond, just continued to stare at her.
She said "Legion, do you know where the hotel is? I could use some help here."
Legion said "Assistance is available. Follow me."
Garrus said "At least someone knows where to go."
Legion escorted them to the room, with Morim smiling and making faces. Garrus made a few faces of his own.
Morim said "Thank you" when they got there, opened the door and when she walked in, Legion followed her. Garrus was careful not to appear overtly threatening, so he didn't shove Legion out the door. He just said "Hey, hey, hey. Occupancy issues."
Morim turned, saw Legion and said "Thank you, Legion. I'd never have found it without you."
Legion said "Multiple sources available on your Omni Tool would have guided you here."
Morim said "Then thank you for sparing me the trouble. Legion, we have accommodations for you. Whatever you want, you have a room even if you don't want one, you can go back to the shuttle, you could go back to the party. You don't have to protect me right now."
Legion said "That is not true." slowly and then said with more confidence "There is always concern for violence statistically."
Garrus said "He's catching on quickly."
Morim thought for a moment and said "Legion, I want everyone to have fun. Is your idea of fun? Guarding my location?"
Legion said "I do not know fun, but I do …" He looked at Garrus.
Morim said "You want to protect me. It's okay. I appreciate it and you wouldn't be on my crew if I didn't need your help. Would it be acceptable to guard the door? Would that suit your purpose?"
Legion nodded.
Morim said "This is like the Normandy, Garrus and I share quarters. You are correct, it is possible that there could be a threat. If that is what you want to do, then you are free to guard the door."
Legion nodded again and then stood by the door.
Garrus said obnoxiously "Nice try. Other side."
Legion looked at him reluctantly, opened the door and went out.
Garrus said testily "That is creepy."
She said "It is not, and he can hear you." She raised her voice and said "Legion, you're not creepy."
Legion said "Creepy is acceptable, Shepard Commander."
Garrus said loudly "The situation, Legion. The situation is creepy."
Morim said "Okay then."
Garrus said "Oh come on, no way. This is not happening."
She said "Why not?"
He said "He can hear us!"
Morim rapped on the door "Legion, you are not to record for outside display or respond to anything happening in this room. Access files regarding organic sex in the meantime if you're curious regarding outlying parameters you may hear. That should keep you busy. Unless we directly ask you for help, you are to accept that we do not require your assistance. Your purpose is to guard, and I appreciate it."
Garrus said "You think that is going to work?"
Legion said "That is going to work."
Morim said "There. Problem solved."
Garrus said "Maybe yours. Is he going to be a permanent fixture?"
She said "Garrus, we might not live more than a week, give the guy a break."
He said "What if he watches all that sex and develops an attachment to you that is even creepier?"
She walked to the door, knocked on it again and said "Legion, you're not creepy. Parameters require Garrus Vakarian and Morim Shepard as sexual partners and no further additions or subtractions." There was silence and then she said "Legion, there's an exception to you assessing level of threat if you suspect I am addressing you directly."
Legion said "Acknowledged."
She then said "You're also not allowed to kill Garrus Vakarian for perceived insults. Which you have heard, and will hear. Review files regarding humor and camaraderie."
Legion said after a moment and almost tiredly "Acknowledged."
Garrus said "Why don't you just say mommy loves you."
Morim glared at him and then said "Mommy loves you, Legion."
Silence. Very quietly "Acknowledged."
Morim couldn't keep her cool and just said "He is AWESOME. C'mon, you've got to admit it. Some day you will admit it."
Garrus said "So that's it? He gets to listen?"
She shrugged "Garrus, we've been monitored, pretty much always. Now it bugs you because someone friendly cares enough to make us his top priority?"
Garrus said "Not us. You."
Morim said "Approval is not something I'm accustomed to, I get to indulge in it occasionally. You want him to go back and stand alone in the shuttle? He might die. For me. He might have died before, looking for me. I have my own mission, but his mission has been me for years, you really think something sinister is going on here?"
He knew there was no way he was going to win this one, not after that. If anything he should be able to sympathize with her being his mission. He didn't want to entertain Legion, but he could still entertain himself. If that's what she wanted…
He lifted her by the waist and positioned her against the door, and when she gasped and started to protest he said "Shhhhh…," a human sound that meant 'be quiet.' It wouldn't be translated quite the same way, if he'd said 'be quiet' in Turian. He was adapting to all sorts of human things he liked. He let his hands roam over her, gliding over green silk.
She said "There is a bed…right over there." It wasn't loud, but it wasn't quiet, either.
He said "I noticed. I also noticed there's a sentry outside our door and he can hear quite a bit. So shhhh." He lowered his mouth to her throat as he said it, blowing the sound out over her skin.
She said "You are contributing to the delinquency of a…a…not a minor…crap." He smiled against her skin at her being flustered by his hands and mouth. That's something he could sympathize with as well.
He chuckled and said "He's a Geth. We usually kill them. If you want him to experience humanity, I can let him experience humanity. I was the one that suggested you be quiet. He's your delinquent, not mine." His hand traveled from her waist, up to her breast, kneading her, a finger tracing along the edge of the neckline.
She said in a strangled, but definitely quiet voice "Point made, let's just…move to the bed."
He said quietly "Send your enamored sentry away." His mouth moved along her jawline, to her ear.
She sighed and then said quietly, with humor "So, be quiet or you assault me?"
He said "No. Be quiet or I stop assaulting you." He held his hands still momentarily and she made a sound of frustration.
She smiled and said "You think I can't relocate and then get you to start again?" He gathered her hands in his and then raised them both over her head, her wrists in one hand.
He said "Sure you could, but I might be disappointed. If we do it your way and you want to be loud, I can make you say things, Venri. It will take a little while, but I can make you say whatever I want. Do you want to do it that way? I've got a little while. I'm on shore leave. You want me to use my imagination? You want to risk it or do you want to…" he said "shhhhhh" again, against her skin.
His answer was silence. Excellent. I win. He realized immediately that he wanted to make noise himself as she arched her back, pushing her breast into his hand. She brought one of her legs up, kicking off her shoe and resting her heel in his spur, her toes rubbing along the back. She used her leg to pull him closer. The only sound was breathing, hard breathing. Teasing flared into full blown lust and he wanted to do too many things at once. He wanted her hands on his body, but he wanted to hold her still. If he let her go, he wouldn't be able to watch her face, hold her there and watch her face. He wanted to watch her face while she tried not to moan. With his hand still at her breast, her head was tilted back, eyes closed, lip between her teeth. He wanted to see her eyes. He leaned in to her ear, bit at her earlobe, breathed into her ear for a few moments before he said "Open your eyes, Venri. Keep them open. Look at me." Her wrists were twisting in his hands. Not to break away, just to feel his palm on her skin.
He moved back to watch her face, green eyes meeting his, her breathing hard through her nose. So beautiful, she was so beautiful. She watched him as he watched her, and his hand slid down green silk to raise the hem, cup his hand over the scrap of silk underwear and brush his hand against her until he felt the cloth get damp. He glanced down momentarily to see that her nipples were hard points under the silk, and she swallowed hard. He took one of his fingers and slipped under the silk, twisting his finger into her and using another finger to press at her clit through the fabric. She drew breath in a quick stutter, fast little in-breaths through her nose before she breathed out, long and strained. He looked into her eyes with her brows drawn together, beseeching. She was an expression of desire in green. He savored every expression that was for him. He swallowed hard himself, aching and hungry, thirsty for her. He withdrew his finger and twisted into her again, pressing at her clit in circles, fast and then slow, hard until she pulled back and then gentle until she arched into his hand. He had no sound to gauge her, but her face, her shoulders, her breathing were enough. He had to suppress every urge to growl, to purr, to say her name, to tear his eyes from her and bite at her, taste her. She clenched around his finger in faster and harder rhythm. He would never get enough of this, the fact that touching her did this to her, did this for her. That mountaintop pinnacle of orgasm was a demonstration of her body's response and he drank in her eyes, her skin, her scent and her texture. He would fall asleep wanting her, he would wake wanting her, everything he thought would work its way to her.
She came in flutters and shudders and silent gasps, but she stayed quiet. Her eyes blinked and rolled back, but she kept them open. He pulled his hand from her and put his hand on her hip, extended a claw and curved it under the fabric, sliced it off and pulled it aside. He released his cock from his pants and lifted her off the ground with his hand, and her other heel came to rest on his other spur as he drove into her, lowering her hands inch by slow inch and angling his hips to take her weight on his thighs, until he was deep, seated within her, home. She was so quiet as she trembled and shook, swallowing down whimpers. He put his hand around her throat, claws digging in enough to draw points of blood, feeling her try to keep it all inside, to make no sound. Reverie hummed along his nerves and he drank in her eyes, drank in her scent, drank in the feel of her body around him. He watched her eyes as he saw Reverie pull her entirely out of her own intent, out of his will. She struggled to stay conscious, she struggled to meet his eyes, her throat and her body convulsed and she went limp, his hand so tight around her wrists that she didn't move other than her head falling forward.
He leaned back until her weight was on his chest. He let her hands go and then looped her arms around his shoulders. He placed his hands under her ass, lifted her legs free of his spurs and then carried her to the bed. He wasn't going to leave her body, not tonight, not with her thinking they weren't going to live more than a week. He got into bed and pulled covers over her, his head propped on pillows and her head on his chest. He lowered his mouth to the top of her head and breathed her in, staying awake while she slept, slipping into that timeless sense of connection that sustained him more than sleep. One hand rested at the small of her back and one hand in her hair as she snuggled closer in her sleep and pressed her lips against his chest, saying his name in a way that made him want to bundle her away and hide her somewhere safe.
She talked in her sleep, something he hadn't told her yet. He wondered if he ever would. He didn't know if she knew herself. She would talk in her sleep, her mind unwinding skeins of the uncharted. Some of her thoughts were silly, some nonsensical, some touching, and some terrifying. She had nightmares. She didn't speak of them. He suspected she did remember them, because she was perceptive enough to catch his gently questioning looks and be quick to reassure him with a smile and a distraction. She was excellent at distraction. He'd had enough of his own nightmares to understand. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It was perhaps best to not take full ownership. Too hard to tell what was a real concern and what was an imagined issue rising like a ghost, something made real by speaking that would otherwise cease to exist when eyes opened. He'd prefer that his own dreams weren't analyzed as literal. When she'd been shot, when he'd watched over her she'd had nightmares. It was understandable, she had been in pain. She'd called out names. Ashley he knew. Other names he'd had to look up. Her career was documented well enough that he'd been able to track down the names she'd been calling. She'd been calling them out clearly for the time he had known her, possibly much longer than that. This was where her pain unraveled, when her formidable mind shut down and she was at the mercy of images and memories that still haunted her, maybe always would. A lengthening litany of names and choices she couldn't take back.
He had become fiercely territorial of her sleep time, wanted to watch over her when she had no defense from her own mind digging in its claws. His voice had calmed her when she had been shot. Now there was a direct relationship between how much sleep she got and how close she was to him.
For their first nights together, concerns about literally drugging her into unconsciousness had made him worried that he was being selfish or controlling by remaining joined. He'd reluctantly pulled from her to give her back to herself, and she had not liked that at all. She didn't like it if she was awake, and would dramatically whimper. She reacted more viscerally if she were asleep. She'd called his name as though he were one of the lost. He'd wake her with slow touches and murmurs and she'd cling to him as though he weren't real. He couldn't bring Ashley back, he couldn't undo the past, but he could do his best to be there when she spoke his name, in need, in fear, when she said 'please don't leave me' and held onto him in inconsolable desperation. He would be there for that, every time, and send her back to sleep knowing he would never leave her alone if he could do something about it. She defied all names he'd given her, this entirely new woman, shorn of all pretense and wit. She would remain nameless, this woman who wanted to be carried away and hidden, kept safe by him, this woman who wanted ever-touching enough to demand it rather than accept losing it. She was made of secrets and longing. When she spoke he simply addressed her as 'love,' which was also the only endearment she used for him.
'Garrus?'
'Yes, love?'
'There's eezo in the tree.'
'Okay.'
'We need eezo.'
'I'll bring it to you, love.'
'Mmm.'
He wondered if this had been what happened to her mind after being dead for however long before she regained sentience. Had she been trapped in nightmares with no escape? Were the dead the only company she had when she was asleep? She had been one of them. She had a connection to the dead where once again, he couldn't follow. She was always seeking something or someone, someone lost, if she slept on her own. She never talked about it, maintaining lightly that she had been dead, she didn't remember. She wanted to deal with reality, not metaphysics. Too many questions about her state of mind made her impatient. Too many questions sometimes meant any question at all. She would talk about herself only at whim, not at urging. In the oddest moments she would pour out a story either in her sleep or awake and he needed to be there to hear it.
The difference between Turian and human had set him on the wrong course. He'd expected her to tell him everything she needed, help him get it for her, but that was not how she was built. She would opt to do without. She would opt to do without anything as a training exercise or a circumstantial necessity. Do without food, do without water, do without love, do without rest, do without the right to expect him to be there for her. She was willing to do without him if that's what he wanted. When he pulled his body from hers to see if that was what she wanted, she'd accepted it as something he wanted. No questions, no blame. He'd felt like shaking her until she rattled again, when he realized. Then he'd run up against her state of mind and the way she answered or did not answer questions. She didn't know and couldn't tell him. She wasn't withholding, it was the result of having had such a long held habit of self denial that it was indistinguishable from personality and person.
He'd come to realize she was chronically exhausted and unable to rest at will. It was hard for her to fall asleep at all, she easily woke at any sound and her meager sleep was interrupted by nightmares. There were few physical signs due to her application of makeup, and red eyes could also be cosmetically altered. Odd that he could smell lack of sleep, but he could. Exhaustion on her was like a hint of ozone and chlorine, something sharp and acrid, as though her cybernetics and cells were burning out and subtle smoke rose from her pores. He'd had to check it against reality before he could confirm it, because even exhausted, she could rally enough adrenaline to energize a room. Over time he'd come to see the difference between adrenaline and sufficient sleep. He had yet to see her get sufficient sleep. Too many years of deprivation. He had too many questions to ask, because he hadn't been this close to her before, not on a normal day. Was this as it has always been, was it new, could he help more than he was already helping?
Thinking of metaphysics and the dead made him yearn for the first time that there was an afterlife, and that he would be able to find her in it. Whatever deity needed to be bribed or convinced or killed to accomplish that "No, you do not understand, I am for her, she needs me."
She needs me.
'Garrus?'
'Yes, love?'
'Garrus.'
'Yes, love.'
'Garrus.'
She stirred briefly, pressing her lips again to his plates, her arms wrapped around him, squeezing hard until she relaxed again into sleep, her last calling of his name an affirmation, not a question. Call and response.
He needed less sleep than she did, but he thought maybe he'd try, certain in this moment at least that she wouldn't suffer from his absence. If she spoke again, it would wake him.
Both of their Omnitools lit up shortly after. He saw the notification before she did, and he brought his hands to her face to lift her eyes to his. "Venri, you need to wake up. Something's happened on the Normandy."
