Muyami Academy
What if they ALL went to the same school?
Thanks to my prereaders, T.H. Tiger, Bombadil Goh, Jeffrey Cornish and William Morse. Also thanks to Jed Hagen and Stardragon for surprise C&C.
DISCLAIMER: Ranma 1/2 characters and stuff, and Inu-Yasha characters and stuff, not to mention Ursei Yatsura characters and stuff, copyright 1999 Rumiko Takehashi. Tenchi Muyou characters and stuff, copyright 1999 Pioneer & AIC. Mamono Hunter Yohko characters and stuff copyright 1999 AD Vision, NCS, Toho Company, LTD, Mad House, and I don't know who else. Koko wa Greenwood characters copyright Yuki Nasu. Mint na Bokura characters copyright Wataru Yoshizume. Other characters and stuff also copyright the creators and owners.
Chapter Twelve
Mother Knows Best
"Did you hear?"
"About the super hero teams?"
"I heard it was a magical girl team."
"No, they're a secret para-military organization!"
In the Muyami caffeteria, Ushio, Asako, and Mayuko were eating lunch. Each had a steaming bowl of noodle soup, Chinese-style, made to order by the 'Cat Cafe', one of several food huts in one corner of the room. Tora sat nearby, munching on a pile of hamburgers that Mayuko had bought for him from 'Nanami's Place', another of the huts.
"Well?" Asako said. "What do you think?"
Ushio growled low in his throat.
"I think the Principal here is a nutball," he said. "I don't want any part of his weird little organization. As far as I'm concerned, I'd be much happier staying at home and attending school there -- but I don't get to choose. My good-for-nothing father has already agreed to send me here, without even consulting me first!" He spit on the floor. "That lazy, good-for-nothing..."
"I think it's a good idea," Mayuko said. Ushio paused and looked at her in surprise. "Well, you could learn a lot from Yohko and her grandmother, and from some of the others. They've gathered together some real experts on demons, the occult, and on martial arts in general. Where else could you ever expect to work with people like this?"
"Why would I want to?"
"Because," she said, "you wield the Beast Spear. And because of that, you've fought demons, and will do so again. The training they can give you here could be invaluable."
"That's true," Asako said reluctantly.
Ushio made a face. "Well, I don't like it. But like I said, I don't have a choice. But what about you two?"
Mayuko giggled. "This isn't about us, Ushio, it's about you! And maybe about what you can do for others as well."
"Yeah," Ushio said. "I just meant... Principal Ikari said that you could both attend here, if you want. He even said he could provide transportation back home on weekends..."
"By attack helicopter?" Asako asked, frowning.
"I guess."
Mayuko giggled again. "You know, they say that this school has a very good reputation... that it can help you get into a good college..."
Asako rolled her eyes to show her disdain.
"And it would be a lot of fun, at the very least..."
Asako snorted.
"Those girls on Ushio's team are awfully cute..."
Asako barked a laugh. "Lady Ayeka loves that boy Tenchi. Miss Sakura is interested in older men. And Nuku Nuku isn't even a real girl, just a cyborg with a cat's brain..."
"Aha! You were checking them out!" Mayuko said with a laugh. "But what about the other girls? Yohko and Ranma are both really cute, and they're Devil Hunters as well! And Aiko, Lum, and Shampoo are all extremely cute as well..."
Ushio grinned. "I agree. Much cuter than a tomboy like Asako here..." Asako's face flushed red with anger. She jumped up and launched a high kick at Ushio's face, which he dodged.
"I'm so happy for him," Asako growled. She folded her arms across her chest and looked away.
"And?" Ushio asked.
Asako frowned, then looked at Mayuko. "Well... my parents will miss me at the restaurant during the week... but I know they'll be happy to have me attend a prestigious school like Muyami..."
Mayuko clapped her hands together. "Oh, Asako! We can be roommates, can't we?"
"Of course we can, Mayuchan," Asako said with a smile.
XXX
Akane's room had been transformed into a full-fledged kitchen, thanks in no small part to her roommate Nanami Jinnai's vast collection of restaurant equipment. Yohko was slicing vegetables while Chigako was coloring a portion of their rice pink using food dye. Ranma was watching over some boiling eggs, while a chicken breast sizzled on a hot plate nearby. Akane, at the very firm insistence of the others, sat on her bed beside her sister Nabiki and watched.
The talk had turned to Ikari's new NERF Project teams. Ranma and Yohko had at first refused to talk, since it was supposedly top secret information, but as it turned out, the whole school had already heard the news. Nabiki and Chigako, of course, knew just about everything.
"So," Nabiki said, "the end result is you've been drafted into some high school version of the ghostbusters? You're one of the Scooby gang? Do you get your own mystery van?"
"It's not a joke," Ranma said. "I mean -- well it is a joke, but that wacky Principal is really serious about it. It may be a dumb idea, but it's going to happen, like it or not."
"You really need to pay attention, Ranma," Yohko said. "See how I'm slicing? How do you expect to cook for Ukyo-sama when you're married?"
"Marriage?" Ranma replied. "Who said anything about marriage?"
Yohko frowned. "You do know what being engaged means, don't you?"
"Yeah, whatever," Ranma said. She shrugged. "Ukyo's an okonomiyaki chef, so sh... he can cook for me."
"Ukyo may be a great cook," Yohko said, "but that doesn't mean that you can ignore your own cooking skills. Being a good cook is a part of bridal training. More importantly, cooking is one of the ways that you demonstrate the depth of your love to the ones that you love. Trust me, making lunch for your boyfriend is a sure way to capture his heart."
"Is it a dumb idea, though?" Chigako asked. "Think of the free exposure Yohko and Ranma can get out of this! There really are demons and devils about -- Yohko kills at least a couple a month, at the very least. What if you manage to knock a few off in front of witnesses, or even better, cameras? Instant fame and fortune! Why, we might even work a movie deal out of it..."
"Don't be ridiculous," Yohko said. "This is going to be just like before, only now I have a bunch of amatuers tagging along to get in my way. You think I want that?"
"Oh, please," Nabiki said. "Tenchi and Ryoko are a match for you, easy. You think they won't be useful to have around? Ryoko's so powerful she's scary. And if Belldandy is actually what she claims to be..."
"But they don't know devil hunting," Yohko insisted. "Guess who gets to teach them? And Ranma here has hardly even begun her training..." Yohko glanced over at Ranma, and her eyes bulged. "Ranma? What the heck are you doing?" Yohko demanded.
"Snatching eggs from the boiling water," Ranma said.
"With your bare hands? Have you gone mad?"
Ranma blew on her bright-red hands and rubbed them against her apron. "Hey," she said, "a martial artist is always training. Even when he -- she -- is making a bento lunch. I just figured as long as I'm stuck doing dumb boring cooking stuff, I might as well make the most of it... and I'm supposed to be learning that hazelnut fist thing, right?"
"Well, you're certainly one of the strangest girls I've ever met..."
"You don't know the half of it," Ranma muttered.
Nabiki was stroking her chin thoughtfully. "You know," she said, "Chi's got a point. Sure, Ikari's mad as a loon. But there's money to be made in this. If Mishima Heavy Industries is backing all of this..."
"Mishima Heavy Industries?" Ranma said. "Who said anything about that?"
"Nabiki, that's just a rumor," Akane said.
"No it isn't," Chigako replied. "Didn't you see that attack helicopter landing this morning? Look around. MHI has people all over this school."
Nabiki nodded. "Really, you almost have to be blind not to notice it."
"Well I never noticed it," Yohko said.
"Me either," Ranma added.
"Anyway, as I was saying," Nabiki continued, "with a company like Mishima backing this, there's bound to be oportunities to make a little cash. And as for exposure -- well, I have some ideas about that as well. Yohko, do you think you'd mind posing for a few pictures?"
"Well, I..."
"Devil Hunter publicity photos?" Chigako asked. "That's my department, Nabiki. And now that Ranma's becoming a Devil Hunter as well..."
"I have Ranma on retainer," Nabiki said. "You'll have to deal with me."
"You've got me on what?" Ranma asked, but Nabiki ignored her. She and Chigako were staring intently into each other's eyes.
"Maybe we should take this to a private room," Chigako suggested.
"My thoughts exactly," Nabiki replied. "Mine should be available."
"If you'll excuse us," Chigako said, as the two headed for the door. "Good luck on the bento box, Ranma!"
The door shut behind them, and for a moment there was silence.
"What did she say she had me on?" Ranma asked.
"Ranma, pay attention!" Yohko said, "Now watch carefully. This is a clever way to cut carrots that Chi taught me once..."
In the corner of the room, beneath a desk, unseen by the others, the head of a girl with spikey sea-green hair protruded through the floor. Ryoko raised an eyebrow, and muttered to herself, "Making lunch is a sure way to capture an Earth boy's heart? Is that true?" She blinked a moment. "But I made lunch for Tenchi darling just yesterday..." She frowned, then studied the bento box sitting on the counter.
"The bento box, that must be the key," she muttered to herself. A devious look crawled across her face. "Oh, Tenchi, my love! Prepare to have your heart captured!"
In another corner of the room, beneath the other desk, unseen by the others, lurked a dark-skinned, white-haired girl as tall as a barbie doll. Urd chuckled to herself, and a look as devious as Ryoko's crossed her face. "So, our girl-cum-boy is cooking for her darling fiancee? Lunch may be the way to capture a heart, but why leave things to chance? With the help of the great and powerful Urd, Love-Goddess Extraordinaire, Ranma is certain to have Ukyo's undivided attention! Oh ho ho ho ho!"
XXX
"Belldandy," Keichi said, "there's no reason you have to do this."
The two were alone in Belldandy's room. Belldandy set some tea-cakes on the desktop, poured the tea, and then sat on the bed nearby.
"I know I don't," she said, "but standing against demons is one of a goddess's responsibilities. And Principal Ikari worries me. I'll feel much better if I'm involved; I can try to keep things from getting too out of hand. And Yohko and Ranma have faced a demon already -- well, I'm not actually convinced it was a demon -- but they'll probably face more, and I want to be there to help keep them safe."
Keichi sighed. "Well, okay. I understand, I guess. But what happens at the end of the year? If I get in to Nekomi Tech, we'll be living halfway across Tokyo..."
"I don't really know," Belldandy said. "We'll have to wait and see. I'm sure they'll find a replacement for me by that point..."
Something flew in through the open window, looking remarkably like a dark-skinned, white-haired barbie doll dressed in black. It landed on one of the nearby shelves, where a number of small bottles were lined up neat little rows. It chortled to itself.
"Urd?" Belldandy asked.
"Ah! This will do the trick!" Mini-Urd exclaimed. She grabbed a bottle as large as she was and somehow hid it under her cloak. Laughing maniacally, she bounced to the window.
"Urd?" Belldandy asked again. "What are you up to?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Urd exclaimed, and leaped out into the night.
XXX
In a room on the third floor of Matsukaka Hall, two school girls were discussing business.
"A 'Devil Hunter Girls' photo calender?" Chigako asked.
"Naturally," Nabiki replied. "Nothing trashy, mind you -- just some lingerie or bathing suit shots. You know how all the boys will react. These things will sell like hotcakes!"
"Yes, I can imagine," Chigako said, thinking. "It's good for marketing too -- Principal Ikari can hardly object; if we pitch it to him the right way, he may even help with the printing costs."
"I already have Ranma set to go," Nabiki said. "I'm doing her some favors, so she'll owe me big-time. But can you talk Yohko into posing as well?"
Chigako frowned. "Well, it's not the sort of thing she'd normally do, but if I appeal to her weak points... sell her on the idea that it'll help her land a boyfriend, maybe..."
"That sounds about right," Nabiki said. "We should try to get some of the other girls involved as well."
Nabiki pulled out a small notebook. Chigako pulled out a palm computer and tapped at it. Then the two girls compared notes.
"I'd say we've got a nearly complete list here," Nabiki said, after several minutes. She studied the list critically. "Hmmm, Shampoo and Nuku Nuku should be easy enough... Ryoko's an exhibitionist if I ever saw one, and half the time Lum's flying around in that stupid tiger bikini, that's practically lingerie right there. As for Ayeka, I just need to exploit her love for Tenchi and her rivalry with Ryoko..."
"...And Belldandy is so innocent and trusting," Chigako added.
"Yeah, she is," Nabiki said. "She's probably an easy mark, but we should play it carefully... something about her tells me to never get on her bad side, if she has one..."
"Agreed. That leaves just Aiko and Nurse Sakura."
Nabiki nodded. "I don't know an angle on Aiko, to be honest."
"I don't know here that well either."
"Maybe if we just ask her..."
"We'd better ask Sakura outright, too," Chigako said. "She's the smartest one of the lot, so I don't think we can trick her into it. But she seems a bit vain to me..."
"Yeah," Nabiki said. "We get everyone else on board, and I bet she agrees to do it too. Getting her is key; every boy in school is in lust with her body."
"I know. I've seen the lines outside the infirmiry every evening. Half the boys in school coming down with mysterious, temporary illnesses..."
"We can promise her the cover, or two pages, or whatever she wants," Nabiki said. "And then we split the profit fifty-fifty." Nabiki held out her hand. "Deal?"
"Deal!" Chigako said, and shook on it.
Just then, the telephone rang. Nabiki Tendo answered it.
"Yes?" she said. "Oh, hello Mrs. Saotome! Yes, everything is going fine! What? The girl's dorm? Well I'm sure they're just confused. You know, you can't trust those women in administration to know anything. Akane? Well, it is lunch time; maybe she's eating lunch somewhere. Oh, I remember! She was going to help Ra... help a girlfriend of hers make lunch for her fiancee. For Ranma? I seriously dou... I mean, sure, Akane might have made a lunch for Ranma... okay, if I see them I'll let them know. See you soon!"
Nabiki hung up the phone and stared at it a moment, then glanced back at Chigako
"Well," she said, "this should prove very interesting..."
XXX
Urd watched as Ranma, Yohko, and Akane headed out the front doors of Matsukata Hall and over to Sakagawa Hall, the boy's dorm. She expanded to normal size and flopped down into one of the couches in the main lobby. A small, empty vial was clutched in one hand.
"Oh, that was too easy!" she exclaimed, cackling. "This is going to be fun to watch! I can't wait to see Ranma's face when Ukyo..."
"Urd?" Belldandy had just entered the room. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at her sister. "What are you up to, Urd?"
"Oh, just helping nature along," Urd said with a smirk.
Belldandy glared at her. Urd sighed.
"Look, Bell," she said, "it's nothing big. I mean, Uyko and Ranma are engaged, right? They're bound to make out eventually. I just thought that, since Ranma was a boy, she needed a little push, to do what comes naturally for any other girl. That's all." Urd spread her hands. "I'm just trying to help, Bell. Really."
Belldandy frowned, a look of indecision on her face. Finally she sighed.
"Well, I don't aprove of you meddling like this," she said, "but I suppose you have a point. Poor Ranma can't seem to make up her mind, but if she really is engaged to that boy..."
"Exactly," Urd said, grinning. "Ranma needs to learn what it really means to be a girl with the boy she loves."
XXX
In a corner of the Muyami caffeteria a small lunch stand called the Nekohanten, or Cat Cafe, was doing a very brisque business. The shrivvled old woman who ran it was enough to frighten any student away, but the place was packed, thanks in very large part to the incredibly cute waitress with the long purple hair. It didn't hurt that the food was delicious and the service extremely fast.
In the back, a boy with thick glasses and long black hair was washing dishes.
"Well, granddaughter, what do you think?" Cologne said, tossing three more bowls of ramen her direction.
"Principal is crazy," Shampoo replied, catching the bowls easily. "But demon-hunting is good training." She hopped sideways and deftly dropped the bowls in front of three hungry students.
"Indeed," Cologne said. "It's the main reason I took this job. You have the opportunity to train with some of the best Devil Hunters in the world."
"Shampoo not like that red-haired girl leader of gamma team," Shampoo said. "Shampoo should be leader of team!"
Cologne smiled. "Ah, but Ranma is the Devil Hunter," she said, "albeit a very inexperienced one. But if you work hard and learn what I have to teach you, you'll soon prove your worth. Then maybe we can get you bumped up to the alpha or beta team. I'm thinking that boy Tenchi, or the other one, Ushio, might make a good son-in-law."
Shampoo frowned. "Must beat Shampoo first," she stated.
In the back, the boy with the thick glasses perked up. "Shampoo!" he exclaimed. "How can you think of anyone but me? I want to be on your team, too! Tell me what I can do to help!"
Cologne's staff slammed down on the boy's head. "You can help, boy, by bussing the empty tables! Now get busy! I'm not paying you to stand around!"
As he gathered up empty dishes, the boy muttered to himself, "You're not paying me at all, old ghoul."
A round pan flew through the air and collided with his head. "And no complaining!" Cologne barked.
XXX
"A lunch? For me?"
Ukyo stared down at the bento box, then back up at Ranma. "You made this yourself?"
"Well," Ranma said, "I had some help..."
Ukyo looked past Ranma. In the hall outside her room stood Yohko and Akane.
"She just needed a little push," Yohko said.
"I see," Ukyo said. She set the bento aside, got up and wrapped Ranma in a fierce hug.
"Oh Ranma, thank you so much! This is so very sweet of you!"
"I... uh, sure," Ranma stammered.
"Well?" Ukyo said, stepping back. "Don't just stand there! Come in!"
As the three filed in, Ukyo added, "I was just about to head down to my counter in the lunch room, but if you want to eat lunch together, I can skip it for a day."
"Maybe we should leave you two alone," Yohko said. She glanced at Akane.
"That's right," Akane said. "You two want to be alone, don't you?"
"Alone?" Ranma repeated. "No... that's not..."
There was a knock at the door. Nabiki was standing in the doorway.
"Ranma? Oh, Yohko, by the way -- Chigako was looking for you."
"She is? I wonder what she wants?"
"Something about a business proposal, I think," Nabiki said. "Secret Devil Hunter business, you know."
Yohko rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'd better go find out. Catch you later, Ranma! I want to know how this works out!"
"Hey, Nabiki," Ranma said, "have you manage to get that uniform yet?"
Nabiki smirked. "Not yet," she said. "Although, now that you mention it, I think that favor you'll owe me is about to increase..."
"What uniform?" Akane asked.
"It's nothing important," Ranma said.
"She wants to dress like Utena Tenjou," Nabiki said.
"What?" Akane exclaimed. "Whatever for? Tenjou looks like a... well, like a girl wearing a boy's uniform."
"You got that right," Ranma said. "Anyway, Nabiki, you were saying something?"
"Well, I don't want to alarm you or anything," Nabiki said, "but your parents just called."
"And?" Ranma stared at her. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all!" Nabiki said airly. "They're doing fine! Oh, and by the way, they're at the train station."
"The train station?" Ranma stared back at Nabiki with her usual blank expression.
"The train station here in town," Nabiki said.
Ranma's eyes grew very, very wide.
"What do you mean? Here, here?"
"Yes, of course. What other 'here' could I possibly mean?"
"Shit!"
"Indeed," Nabiki said. "They should be here in just a few minutes."
"Shit! Shitshitshit!"
"And I bet they're looking forward to meeting their son."
"But Ranma," Akane said, "you're still stick as a girl."
"I know, I know, I know! You don't gotta remind me!"
Akane sighed. "Well, I guess they had to find out about you eventually."
"No they don't! Akane, you've got to help me! I can't let them find out!"
"This should be interesting," Nabiki said. She leaned against the wall to watch.
Akane rolled her eyes. "Oh Ranma, don't be such a coward. Why can't you just tell them the truth?"
"If they find out, they'll pull me out of school for sure!"
"Well okay, Ranma, but even if you could change back to a guy, you're still registered as a girl, living in the girl's dorm, and wearing a girl's uniform. So how do you expect to hide all that?"
Ranma sighed and stood up. "I guess I've got no choice," she said.
"Then you're going to tell them the truth?"
"What? No, of course not!" Ranma turned on Ukyo. "Uchan, you gotta help me!"
"Me? How can I help?"
"Switch places with me! If my parents find out I'm attending as a girl they'll freak!"
Ukyo sighed. "Ranchan, I can't! I told you, only if you say you'll honor our engagement..."
"I can't do that Uchan!"
"Then we have nothing to discuss."
"Aw, come on, Uchan! I'm not asking you to switch permanently this time, only for a day."
Ukyo shook her head. "Think about me for once, Ranchan. How's it going to look if I dress as a girl for even one day? That's embarassing enough for a normal guy, but for me...? I could blow my cover for good."
"But Uchan..."
"No buts, Ranchan. I'm not going to do it, and that's final."
Ranma slumped to the floor. "Well, that's that, then. I guess I should start packing, because Mom and Pop are gonna pull me out of school for sure..."
Ukyo looked troubled. "But that would mean..." Her voice trailed off and she glanced about neverously. She hadn't spent most of her life tracking Ranma down just to lose him again. She would do anything to keep the two of them together... anything except dress as a girl, a sure way to get herself exposed and expelled. But what else could she do?
At that moment, Ukyo's roommate Shun entered the room. Ukyo's eyes lit up.
"Shun-chan!" Ukyo exclaimed. "Just the person I was looking for! I need you to do a really, really big favor for me!"
"Yes?" Shun asked.
"You'd better hurry," Nabiki said, glancing out the window. "They're coming up the dorm steps as we speak..."
XXX
"I'm sorry," Mitsuru said, "but I don't think we have a student named Ranma."
Genma and Nodoka Saotome stood in the lobby of Sakagawa Hall, talking to two young boys who were apparently in charge of the boy's dorm. Mitsuru Ikeda, the dorm president, flipped through the pages of his clipboard, re-checking the list of students he was in charge of.
He glanced up and shrugged. Nodoka Saotome frowned.
"There is a Ranma," Shinobu Tezuka replied, "only she's in the girl's dorm. The redhead with the pigtail, remember?"
"Oh yes, her," Mitsuru said. "The cute martial artist. How could I forget?"
Nodoka's frown deepened. Genma cleared his throat. "Listen, I know this may sound strange, but despite what you may have seen, Ranma is our son, not our daughter. He should have a room here in the boy's dormitory..."
"Well I'll check the list again, but I'm pretty certain that..."
"Mr. and Mrs. Saotome! What are you doing here?"
The voice rang out across the lobby. The two boys and the Saotomes turned to see a young girl in a Muyami Academy uniform stride into the room.
"Akane?" Mitsuru said. "Do you know the Saotomes? "They were looking for their son..."
"Of course she knows us," Nodoka said. "She's Ranma's fia..."
"You're looking for Ranma?" Akane said quickly. "Wow, he didn't say you were coming..."
"Well, we thought we'd surprise him," Nodoka said.
"I'll bet," Akane muttered under her breath.
"But these young men tell me that he's not registered here in the boy's dorm..."
"What?" Akane said. She glared at the two boys. "Why would you two say that? Ranma rooms with Ukyo Kuonji, remember?"
"I don't think..." Mitsuru began. He was cut short by a jab to the ribs from Shinobu.
"Oh yes, my mistake," Shinobu replied. "Why don't we go see if Ranma is in his room?"
"Yes, of course," Mitsuru replied smoothly. "How forgetful of me. It's right up the hallway here."
"Ukyo Kuonji?" Genma muttered, half to himself, as the group headed down the hallway. "That names sounds familiar, somehow..."
"Oh, and Akane?" Shinobu asked. "You haven't seen Shun about, have you?"
"I'm sorry," Akane said, "I don't know where she is at the moment."
"I see," Shinobu said. "Well, if you see her, please send her my way..."
XXX
"This hurts," Ranma said.
Ukyo finished winding the bandage about Ranma's chest and expertly set the metal hooks. "You'll get used to it," she said, stepping back to inspect her work. She eyed Ranma critically. She frowned.
"You're my fiancee, and you've got more chest to hide than me," she said. "I'm not sure how I should feel about that."
The two of them were in the boy's shower room. Ranma was already wearing Shun's uniform up to the waist, with the shirt and coat lying nearby.
The door opened. A boy walked in, carrying a towel and some soap. He looked at Ukyo and Ranma, and his eyes bugged out.
"Ukyo? Is that Ranma?" he said. "What's she doing in here? Isn't she a girl?"
"No. Mind your own business," Ukyo said with a glare.
"But isn't that..." the boy began. There was blur of movement, a bright flash, and a loud ping next to the boy's ear. He glanced to his right, where a mini-spatula was sticking out of the concrete near his head. The handle was still vibrating.
"Gotcha," the boy said, and vanished the way he'd come.
Ranma groaned. "This is never going to work," she said.
"It only has to work for a few hours," Ukyo replied. "I've managed it for years, so I don't see why you can't pass as a boy, given that you really are one, normally. Anyway, that ought to do it. You've got a bit more to hide than me, but with that and some platform shoes..."
"Platform shoes?"
"Well of course," Ukyo replied. "You're several inches shorter as a girl, you know, and we are trying to fool your parents. Don't worry, I have a pair that look almost normal, but they'll add about an inch in height. But first, we need to dye your hair."
"What? No way, that's girl stuff!"
"Sugar, you are a girl!" Ukyo exclaimed. "And one, I might add, with bright red hair. Anyway, don't worry about it, I'm not using a permanent dye. This will wash out with water though, so you'll have to be careful."
"Well, okay," Ranma replied. "If it's only for a few hours, then I guess it'll be fine."
XXX
Lady Ayeka, in a most unladylike display, flopped onto one of the couches in the main lobby of Matsuka Hall.
"Hunting down minor demons is not a job for a Princess of Jurai," she muttered bitterly.
Floating overhead, the school's other resident alien Princess looked on, her arms behind her head. Lum was a girl that Ayeka usually tried to avoid associating with at all costs. They might both be alien Princesses, but as far as Ayeka was concerned, they had nothing else in common.
Until now, anyway.
"Lum doesn't mind," the green-haired oni said. "Lum thinks it sounds like fun."
"Fun? It sounds like nothing of the sort!" Ayeka retorted. "It sounds messy and disgusting and... and... arrgh! I can't believe I agreed to do it!"
Lum frowned. "Why did Ayeka agree to do it?" she asked.
"Because!" Ayeka threw up her hands. "Lord Tenchi also agreed, so I had no choice!" She crossed her arms and stared at the wall. "Grandfather Masaki must have talked him into it. He seems to think it will be good training. And I must admit, he has a point, but..." She ground her teeth together. "Why, oh why, does that mummy woman have to be on the same team as Lord Tenchi? I won't stand for it!"
As if on cue, the green-haired girl named Ryoko burst through the doors. As usual, she did this without the benefit of the doors opening. In her hands was a small, square bento box. Whatever it held was black and smoking, but at least one part of it still seemed to be alive and wriggling.
"Ryoko!" Ayeka exclaimed, leaping up. "What in Jurai's name is that?"
"Oh, this?" Ryoko said with a smirk. "Just a little bento lunch that I fixed for Tenchi." She flashed a wicked grin and added, "You know, of course, that it's an earth tradition for a girl to make a bento lunch for the boy she loves, in order to capture his heart." She cackled like a mad woman, then paused, stood up straight, and smoothed back her hair.
"Oh well," she said. "Can't stand around talking, I have so much to do..." She winked, then flew out the front door.
"Wait!" Ayeka exclaimed, running after her. "Listen, you mad woman! You're going to poison my Lord Tenchi!"
Lum slowly descended to one of the couches, a thoughtful look on her face.
"Bento lunch?" she said to herself. Suddenly she grinned and clapped her hands together. "Hooray! Lum will make one too, especially for her Darling!"
XXX
Mitsuru and Shinobu stood with Akane and Mr. and Mrs. Saotome in the hallway outside of Ukyo and Shun's room. Inside the room sat Akane, Nabiki, and another girl with pink hair, wearing a girl's uniform.
"Ah, Shun-chan," Mitsuru said without batting an eye. "I was just looking for you. Is Ranma-kun around?"
"She... ah, I mean, sheesh, Mitsuru, I don't know where he is."
"This is Ranma's room?" Nodoka said. "Nabiki? Didn't you warn him that we were coming?"
"Yes, of course I did," Nabiki said.
Shun gulped. "Oh, um... he had to leave. He'll be back in a few minutes."
"Young lady, I know why Akane and Nabkiki are here, but pray tell what are you doing in my son's room?"
"Oh sorry, I was... um... just studying with Ukyo. He had to leave for a few minutes, but we were pretty much done anyway. I'll, um, just head back to my room then, and let you people have some privacy..."
"Ukyo, Ukyo," Genma said, rubbing his chin. "Why does that name seem so familiar?"
Shun stood. He smoothed his skirt nervously, smiled, and began to gather some books. But before he could make his escape, the doorway was blocked by the arrival of several more people.
"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Saotome," Ukyo said.
Genma took one look at Ukyo and froze. "Erk!" he choked out. Without moving he seemed to visibly shrink and blend into the background of the room.
"Hello, dear," Mrs. Saotome replied. "Are you my son's roommate? Ukyo, isn't it? Have you seen my son?"
Ranma cautiously stepped into the doorway.
"Ranma!" Nodoka cried out. She quickly wrapped her son in a tight embrace, then stepped back and looked him over.
"My, how manly you look in your school uniform!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, I guess," Ranma said.
"But you look so thin! Have you been eating well?"
"Well enough," Ranma managed.
"And all these girls in your room... my son is so manly! Although I really don't think it's appropriate, you know..."
She crossed the room and sat down in a chair. "Your father and I thought it would be a good idea to visit you and see how you're doing. Have you eaten yet? Perhaps we could have lunch in the town just down the hill. I saw a very nice-looking okonomiyaki restaurant on our way up."
"Right now?" Ranma exclaimed. "In the middle of the day?"
Nodoka's eyes narrowed. "Yes, child. Lunch is usually eaten in the middle of the day."
"But we have P.E. next period!"
"I'm sure we can get back in plenty of time..."
Nabiki smirked. "Go ahead and skip class, Ranma -- after this morning, they're not going to kick you out, are they?"
Ranma blinked. "Oh, I guess not," she said. She shrugged. "In that case -- why not?"
Nodoka smiled at the other three. "You may all come as well, if you like," she said. "After all, Akane and Nabiki are practically relatives, and I would certainly like to get to know Ranma's roommate a little better..."
"Wouldn't dream of missing it," Nabiki said.
"What? Lunch for six?" Genma said. "At a restaurant? I don't think I..."
"Don't worry, Husband. I can cover it."
Genma looked relieved. He looked about, noticing the bento on the desktop. "What's this?" he asked, picking the lunch box up.
Ranma froze. "Oh, it's just something I ma... I mean, something a girl brought over," Ranma said. She laughed nervously. "You know how it is, girls always bringing gifts of food to the guys they like."
"My son is so manly!"
Ranma gave another nervous laugh. "Y-yeah, you said that already."
"Well," Genma said, "waste not, want not." He slipped the bento beneath his gi.
"Hey," Ukyo said, "that was mine!"
"Well, gotta go," Shun said. "See you later, Ranma."
"Wait!" Ranma exclaimed. "I'll walk you back to your room!"
"Oh?" Shun smiled sweetly. "Why, how chivalrous of you! How -- manly!"
Ranma smiled at his parents. "Be back in just a minute," she said.
XXX
At Matsukata Hall, Ranma led Shun to her room. Noel was already there, laying on the top bunk with an open book in front of her.
"Ranma?" Noel asked. "Why are you dressed like a guy?"
"Long story," Ranma said. "Let's just say that, for tonight, I'm switching places with Shun here. I'm pretending to be a boy who's living in the boy's dorm."
"But... whatever for?"
"Her parents are here," Shun said.
"So?"
"Hey," Shun said, "I don't get it either."
"Look," Ranma said, "it's too complicated to explain. Let's just say my parents raised me as a boy and they expect me to act like a boy. Shun's doing a favor by trading places with me for the day."
"That's... um, kinda strange," Noel said, "but okay, if that's what you're doing... oh, I heard some strange rumors about you and Yohko and some weird demon-hunting team..."
"Yeah," Ranma said. "Okaythen, havefun, gottago!" She waved and dashed for the door.
"Ranma! Wait!" Noel called out. Ranma paused in the doorway.
"Yeah? Make it quick."
Hopping down off the bed, Noel held up a can of hormonga, the gender-changing cola that Urd had given him. "Ranma, did you drink some of this stuff?"
"No, why?"
"There's three cans missing! I had a full box!"
"Oh... I think Ukyo borrowed some. Sh... he liked the taste. But I'm sure he'll pay you back."
"He drank some?" Noel exclaimed, his eyes going wide. "And he didn't seem... different, afterwards?"
Ranma looked confused. "In what way?"
"Well... smaller, maybe? Softer hair? Different voice? Maybe a more... um, defined chest?"
"Not that I remember. Why? Is it some sort of super-workout muscle building drink? Maybe I should try some." She grabbed a can.
"NO! I mean, no, it's not a muscle-building drink. Well, actually, if you drank it, it might... I mean NO! It's just a harmless drink, haha." Noel snatched the can away from Ranma and buried the whole box deep in his closet. "It's kind of hard to get this stuff," Noel added, "so please don't let anyone drink any more of it!"
"Okay," Ranma said. "Whatever. I gotta get back, okay? Take care of Shun for me."
Ranma vanished in a flash. Shun gave Noel a weak smile. "Sorry about this," he said.
"Oh, no problem," Noel said. "So... um... you're really a guy?"
"Yep."
"You look like a girl... I mean... you look good as a girl... you know..."
"Yeah," Shun said. "I know."
"Um... you don't really have to dress up like this do you? I mean, why not just hang out for the evening? Nobody really needs to think you're a girl, do they?"
Shun shrugged his shoulders. "I'm supposed to attend class in uniform, and Ranma is borrowing my uniform, so the only other one I have to wear is Ranma's."
"And you're going to attend class like that?"
"Yep."
"Won't people make fun of you?"
Another shrug. "I don't care either way. It's actually kind of fun, y'know?"
"Um... no, actually, I don't," Noel replied.
"Don't worry," Shun said, "I'm not going to watch you dress or anything. When you need some privacy, I'll just leave the room, okay?"
XXX
Ukyo, Akane, and Nabiki sat waiting in Ukyo's room with Ranma's parents. For several moments they sat there, glancing at each other and smiling nervously -- all except Nabiki, who was leaning back against the wall, watching everything with casually half-lidded eyes.
"So," Ukyo said cheerfully, "how's it going, Mr. Saotome? It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"Urk," Genma Saotome said.
Nodoka looked surprised. "Do you two know each other?" she asked.
"Ack," Genma managed.
"Yes, of course," Ukyo replied. "Ranma and I were good friends when we were young." She smiled, as if remembering good times. "In fact," she added, "I seem to remember that Mr. Saotome made a promise to me... you do remember the promise you made, don't you, Mr. Saotome?"
"Gak," Genma replied.
"What sort of promise was this?" Nodoka asked.
"Well," Ukyo said, "you see, Ranma and I..."
She was interrupted by the return of Ranma, who burst into the room as if she'd been at a dead run. "Ready to go!" she exclaimed.
Nodoka's eyes brightened. "Well then, shall we?" she said, standing.
As they headed down the hill to the small town below, Nodoka said, "Ranma, don't you think you should be walking with your fiancee? And holding her hand, perhaps?"
"Oh, um... right," Ranma said. She clasped Akane's hand reluctantly.
"Mom, about that suitcase at home in my closet..."
"The one with all of your girl clothes?" Nodoka asked.
"Uh... yeah," Ranma said. "I don't suppose you could..."
"We donated it all to a charity organization just this morning," Nodoka said. "At least some other girl can get some use out of it."
Ranma groaned, but she didn't fail to miss the phrase other girl.
"You don't need those things anymore, boy," Genma growled. "No more of this acting like a girl, you hear me?"
"And no more acting like a panda for you?" Ranma shot back.
Genma frowned. "That's different," he said. "There's nothing sissy about being a panda..."
XXX
Shun Isigari flopped down on the bed and sighed. "I hope this is over soon. I really was looking forward to a nice hot bath. Besides, what if I need to pee?"
Noel glanced up. He noticed that Shun's skirt had flipped up, exposing something silky and yellow.
"Shun," Noel said, "are you wearing girl's panties?"
"Sure," Shun said with a smile. "Did you think they were boy's panties?"
"Well, no, of course not," Noel said, his face flushing red. "I -- I'm just surprised is all. Don't you think it's a little weird?"
"Weirder than wearing a girl's uniform?" Shun shrugged. "Well, it wouldn't do for someone to look up a girl's skirt and see boxers would it?"
"I'd be more afraid of what else they might see."
Shun stiffled a laugh. "Oh well, it's not as if I'm trying to convince anyone I'm really a girl you know."
"I suppose not," Noel said, shifting uncomfortably. "But... if people know you're a guy..."
"People think I'm weird already," Shun said. "I don't worry about what people think."
Suddenly he jumped up and grabbed "I'm thirsty!" he exclaimed. "Mind if I have one of these?"
"What?" Noel exclaimed, sitting up. "No -- wait. Don't drink that!"
But it was too late; Shun had already popped the can open and taken a large gulp. He froze for a moment, then blinked in surprise. His entire body seemed to shudder and shake, like a bowl of jello, but it stopped after only a couple of seconds.
Shun had looked quite cute as a girl before. Now, she was absolutely stunning.
She stared down at her chest, then poked it experimentally. "These... these are real," she exclaimed.
"Uh... yeah," Noel said, lamely.
Shun frowned and glared at Noel. "This isn't permanent is it?"
Noel shook his head. "It wears off in a few hours."
"Well, that's okay then." Shun placed a hand between her legs, then added, "I guess this takes care of what people might see up my skirt." She narrowed her eyes and glared again at Noel. "But Noel, why do you have this stuff lying around? What do you need it for?"
"It's... um... kinda complicated to explain..."
Shun frowned a moment longer, then giggled. "Oh... I get it! I mean, I don't really get it -- why would a boy pretend to be a girl? -- but you are a boy, aren't you?" She glanced down at the can in her hand. "At least... you're one right now."
Noel gulped. "Y-you can tell?"
"Well, sure. It's actually pretty obvious, if you know what to look for. Which I do." Shun glanced at the can again, and added, "So, which are you, normally?"
Noel sighed. "A boy, of course. But look, you have to keep this a secret, okay?"
"You got it!" Shun exclaimed. Laughing, she took another sip of the cola, then looked about. "Well as long as I'm really a girl I think I'll take advantage of it."
Noel looked uncertain. "How do you mean?"
"I mean we should go shopping!" Shun said. "Next class is P.E. anyway, so I was planning on skipping it. And I have some money to spend, and anyway I'd feel better using a public restroom than the one here in the girl's dorm. Even if I'm a girl right now, there's too many people around who know that I'm really a guy."
Shun looked down at her school uniform. "Only I'm not going anywhere in these rags. Hey, do you have anything I can borrow?" She jumped up and opened Noel's closet. Her eyes swept over several pairs of pants, shorts, and a handful of knit shirts and tee-shirts. Otherwise, apart from several cases of soft drinks, the closet was empty.
Shun raised an eyebrow. "Why Noel, you don't own a single skirt or dress, or even a nice blouse!"
"Aside from my school uniform you mean," Noel said.
"What kind of a wardrobe is this for a girl? Even a pretend girl! No offense, Noel, but my wardrobe is more feminine than yours!"
"Ah... haha..."
"Well, let's see what Ranma has then." Shun crossed the room and opened the other closet. Her eyes grew wide as she took in all of the skirts, dresses, and tops stuffed inside.
"Wow," she said. "Wooooow. Is all of this really Ranma's? You're sure none of it is yours? Well, I've known some clothes-horses in my time -- heck, I'm probably one myself -- but this... is amazing.
"Well I don't think Ranma will mind if I borrow some of her clothes, seeing that she's got so many. Hey, why don't I pick something out for you as well?"
"Oh, no! I mean, don't bother..."
"Nonsense," Shun said. "I've got excellent fashion sense, and I'm sure a lot of this will fit you... better than it fits me really. Well, actually," she added, glancing down at herself, "Right at the moment I might be just the right size, and certainly the right shape..." She glanced up. "As for you -- here!" Shun held out half-empty soda can.
"What?" Noel asked.
"Drink," Shun said. "This is a girl's-only shopping trip, got it?"
"But I don't..."
"Drink! Now!"
Noel frowned, then shrugged and drank. Shun watched with a bemused expression as the cola did its thing.
"Well," Shun said, "now you really are a match for your sister." She turned back to the closet. "As for what to wear, Ranma's small like you, only with a lot more curves, but... oh, this is adorable! What do you think?"
XXX
Mr. Ayaki was in a very good mood, and with good reason. The girl's P.E. class was about to start, and he was about to embark on a journey of redemption. He had his Volleyball team sign-up sheet on his clipboard, which was in his hand. The only question in his mind was whether he should call Samura and gloat right away, or wait until their first game to take his enemy by surprise. But Muyami Academy's team would be so invincible that no amount of forewarning would help Samura, so why not gloat right away?
As he entered the gym he saw the girls dressed and lined up in a row, waiting for roll-call. He grinned like a madman, took his place, and said, "Before I take roll-call, I want to point out that volleyball season is already upon us. I have a sign-up sheet here, and I want to encourage all of you so inclined to please sign, and help our team win a championship this year! Now, I noticed the day before that we have several girls with exceptional atheletic ability, and it is absolutely essential that these girls participate! I'll start roll-call with those girls who I most want to see on my team this year... when I call your name, please come forward and sign my clipboard. Okay?
"The first girl is Nuku Nuku." Coach Ayaki paused for a moment, a goofy grin on his face. The grin quickly faded. "Nuku Nuku? Is Nuku Nuku here?"
"Nuku Nuku is with Professor Natsume and Principal Ikari," Kohran Li said. "Special assignment."
"Ah. Yes," the coach replied. "Well, that's to be expected, I suppose. Never mind, I'll talk to her later... well then, next we have Aiko. Is Aiko here?"
"She's with Principal Ikari also," Kohran said. "So is cousin Shampoo."
Mr. Ayaki frowned. "What sort of 'special assignment' is this?" he asked.
"I bet it's Ikari's secret demon-hunting project," Nanami Jinnai said.
Mr. Ayaki blinked in confusion. "What secret demon-hunting project?"
"You know -- the one nobody's supposed to know about? Everyone's been talking about it."
"Well, I wish someone had warned me," Mr. Ayaki said testily. "Nevermind, let's move on. How about Ryoko. Is she here?
"She's with Tenchi, up in the infirmiry," Shinobu said. "I heard it was food poisoning..."
"Lum?"
"Ah... she was in the caffeteria kitchen, last I saw."
"Yohko Mano?"
"She's up in the dorm rooms with Chigako, I think. Not sure why."
"Ranma Saotome?"
"In town," Miaka said. "I heard her parents were here, and they went to lunch."
Mr. Ayaki's lower lip trembled slightly. His visions of league-wide volleyball domination were collapsing before his very eyes. "Isn't anybody here?" He looked over the group of girls before him. "Utena! Utena Tenjou! You'll sign up for the school volleyball team, won't you?"
"Well," Utena said, "I hadn't actually considered it..."
Mr. Ayaki fell to his knees and began kowtowing at her tennis shoes. Huge tears were splashing on the hardwood floor. "Please! PLEASE! PLEASE! You must sign up! I must beat Samura! We must beat Nagayoshi Academy! PLEASE! If you don't sign up, I think I'll go straight to my office and commit seppeku! I can't bear another season of losing to that miserable, no-good, egomaniacal..."
"Okay! OKAY!" Utena exclaimed. "I'll sign up! Sheesh!"
Mr. Ayaki was suddenly on his feet, grinning from ear to ear. "That's the spirit, Tenjou! We'll crush Nagayoshi this year for sure!" He held out his clipboard eagerly. "Just sign here, please... right there... yes. Yes, that's it. Yes! YES! OH YES! I CAN HEAR YOU GROVELLING BEFORE ME ALREADY, SAMURA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The other girls shrank away from their P.E. coach, exchanging nervous glances. One girl whispered in a quavering voice, "I thought Mr. Ayaki was one of the normal ones..."
XXX
Ukyo had to admit -- grudgingly -- that the local okonomiyaki restaurant wasn't half bad.
The six of them -- Ranma Saotome, her parents Genma and Nodoka, her 'fiancee' Akane Tendo, her 'roommate' Ukyo Kuonji, and Akane's sister Nabiki Tendo, were all seated at a low table with a grill built into the center. Ukyo had insisted on making some of the okonomiyaki herself.
"Why, Ukyo!" Nodoka exclaimed. "I had no idea you were such a good cook!"
"Oh, yes!" Ukyo replied, grinning. "Okonomiyaki is my specialty! I learned from my father, who used to own an okonomiyaki cart. Remember the cart we had, Mr. Saotome?"
"Hak," Genma said, siezed by a sudden fit of choking.
"Something wrong, pop?" Ranma asked.
Ranma was sweating, but Ukyo also had to admit that Ranma's disguise was otherwise working out quite well. You could tell that Ranma's arms and waist were too slender and her hips too wide if you knew what to look for -- but Ranma's parents hadn't noticed. The voice, too, should have given her away, but Ranma's language and mannerisms were still those of a boy, so the illusion held.
In retrospect, Ukyo should have realized that things were going too smoothly.
A waitress approached with a pitcher of cold water. She tripped. The next thing anyone knew, the pitcher had upended on Ranma's head. Ranma was soaked. The black dye in her hair washed out, revealing red underneath.
Nodoka frowned. "Ranma, this curse of yours is unseemly. We really should find a cure. In the meantime..."
Grabbing the tea kettle in the center of the table, Nodoka doused her son. This only served to wash more of the black dye away.
Genma grunted, and produced several more kettles of hot water. He emptied them all onto Ranma, who grew much wetter, but otherwise remained a cute, red-headed girl.
"What's the matter, boy?" Genma asked. "Why won't you become a man again?"
"It's not like I don't wanna!" Ranma blurted out.
"Son," Nodoka said, her hand resting on her katana. "Please explain to us what's going on."
Ranma gulped and started guiltily at her mother. "I... uh... wish I knew," she began. Akane and Ukyo watched with interest and amusement as the redhead squirmed.
"It was the demon!" Ranma suddenly blurted out. Everyone's eyebrows shot up, including Ukyo's and Akane's. Ranma continued at a very fast pace. "There was this demon at the restaurant we ate at when we first arrived. I attacked it, but it sprayed me with an inky black substance. Later, after we'd killed it, I found that I couldn't transform anymore! It must have been the demon! It did something to me and now I'm stuck this way forever!"
Ukyo was amazed to see actual tears in Ranma's eyes. In the short time she'd known the boy/girl, Ranma had demonstrated a complete lack of ability to act or lie even halfway convincingly. For her to actually be crying in support of her story was an act worthy of an Oscar... then again, she really was stuck as a girl, for the moment.
Nabiki was smirking openly, but the Saotomes failed to notice.
"Son, you break your father's heart..." Genma said, weaping bitterly.
"Stop this nonsense!" Nodoka barked. "I'll hear none of it! Now change back to a man at once!"
Ranma's mother lashed out with her katana, neatly slicing open the front of Ranma's shirt. The bandages wrapped around her chest split, releasing her very feminine breasts. In addition, two small teardrop-shaped earrings and a heavy brass amulet spilled out onto the table.
Ranma stared at her mother. The blood had drained from her face.
Akane lept to her feet.
"Mrs. Saotome! What Ranma says... it's all true! We were attacked by a demon, and Ranma can't transform back to a boy."
Ukyo smiled at Akane's deception. The best lies were always composed of true statements. Although really, Ranma should just tell the truth...
Genma and Nodoka stared at their son-cum-daughter in shock.
"And then," Ranma wailed, really diving into the part, "I couldn't prove to the school that I was really a boy -- I was registered as a girl, assigned to the girl's dorm, and a girl's uniform was waiting for me in town. What was I supposed to do? I knew that, if you discovered the truth, you'd only hate me... so when I heard you were coming, I convinced Ukyo's roommate to switch places with me..."
Genma suddenly leapt to his feet. "Quit your crying, boy!" he exclaimed. "If you think you're going to get out of... Urk!"
In a single motion, Nodoka had withdrawn her katana and placed it at her husband's neck. Genma remained frozen in place, sweat dripping down his face.
"If this is true," she said, "then Ranma, you are no longer my son."
Ranma gulped.
Nodoka smiled. "For the time being," she said. "You are once again my daughter."
Genma looked ready to object, but the sword held steadily at his throat proved a very good deterrent.
Ranma visibly relaxed. "Then," she said in a small voice, "you don't hate me?"
Tears formed in her mother's eyes. "Oh, Ranma!" she exclaimed. "How could I ever hate my own daughter?" She stepped forward and gave Ranma a warm hug with one arm -- the other still held the sword to Genma's throat.
"Now, unless I misunderstood," Nodoka said, "there is a boy hiding in your room at the girl's dorm, whom you have convinced to dress as a girl? That is not a very manly thing to do. We need to head over there immediately and switch you two back. In any case, I would like to see you in your actual uniform and in your actual room."
"Mrs. Sotome," Akane said hesitantly. "If Ranma is stuck as a girl, doesn't that void the engagement?"
Nodoka considered this for a long moment. Akane began to sweat. Ukyo looked from Akane to Mrs. Saotome. Surely Ranma's mother didn't think that two girls could possibly...
Finally Nodoka nodded. "For the time being, yes, you are correct," she said. Tears formed in her eyes again, and she bowed very low to Akane. "Forgive me, Miss Tendo," she said stiffly. "We will do everything that we can to uphold the honor of the Saotome Clan and fulfill our part of the agreement. If Ranma remains a girl, then perhaps, as a last resort, we could marry you to my husband..."
Ranma, Genma, and Akane face-faulted. Akane sprang back up. She held up her hands and waved them back and forth. "No, no, no! That won't be necessary!" she exclaimed. "If you don't have a son then the agreement simply can't be fulfilled! No need to go to extremes!"
Ranma nodded her agreement, but her father, so recently denied the male heir he so longed for, seemed to be giving the offer a second thought.
Ukyo grinned to herself. Things were working out surprisingly well for her. She slipped something into her tea, took a quick sip, paused a moment, and then...
"Mr. and Mrs. Saotome," Ukyo said. "If I may be so bold as to speak..."
With a look of curiosity, Nodoka nodded. Genma once again began to sweat.
Ukyo swallowed, glanced at Akane and Ranma, and then began talking.
"When I was very young," she said, "my father and Mr. Saotome made an agreement... an agreement to marry his daughter to Mr. Saotome's son."
Nodoka gasped in shock, then glared at her husband. "Is this true?" she demanded.
Now, on any given day, Genma was a far more accomplished liar than his son Ranma. This was not to suggest that he was any more believable, but that he was far more willing. But under pressure, Genma tended to crack, and his ability to lie like roadkill went out the window. Especially when that pressure was the tip of the family katana at his neck.
"It's not how it looks, dear," he said, sweating profusely. His eyes darted about for a glass of cold water, but Nodoka had already moved them out of his reach. "There were extenuating circumstances..."
"Such as?"
"My father's okonomiyaki cart," Ukyo said. "Genma took it as the bride's dowery. Of course, he failed to take the bride herself."
This last bit was entirely too much for Genma. He finally managed to grab a glass of water, and moments later he was nothing more than a happy panda, playing with an old tire in the corner of the room.
Nodoka sighed.
"Ukyo, give my condolences to your father," she said. "Unfortunately, we do not have a male heir to wed to his daughter. If we had -- or if a cure for Ranma's condition is found -- then Akane still has the prior claim." She glanced back up and forced the weariness from her voice and her face. "We will, of course, make full restitution for your father's cart..."
Ukyo stood.
"That won't be necessary," she said. "For you see, Mrs. Saotome, I was the daughter your husband promised to marry his son to. In my quest to force them to adhere to the marriage contract, I foolishly followed your husband and son all the way to Jusenkyo, where I recieved a curse similar to your son's."
Akane and Ranma gasped. Ranma leapt to her feet. "Liar!" she exclaimed. "You said you don't turn into anything!"
In answer, Ukyo pulled open her top, revealing a flat and surprisingly muscular chest.
"Just as Ranma is cursed to be a girl," Ukyo said, "so I am cursed to be a boy."
Ranma and Akane facefaulted, while Nabiki laughed and laughed and laughed.
XXX
"So all I have to do," Noel said, "is find out who my sister is in love with, and then find some way to break them up. Easy!"
Shun looked at Noel doubtfully. "Are you sure that's a good idea? Won't your sister be upset?"
"She'll get over it," Noel said confidently. Too confidently, in Shun's opinion.
The two faux girls were trying on outfits in a woman's clothing shop. Noel was profoundly embarassed, but Shun was having a great deal of fun. As Noel stepped out to model yet another outfit, Shun exclaimed, "Oh, Noel, that's so cute! That's the best one yet! Do you like it?"
"Not really, no," Noel said with a grimace. "Look, Shun, I'm not really comfortable dressing up like this. It's too girlish!"
"But you are a girl," Shun said. "At least, you are right now! Look, I'm going along with it, right? And I'm not even registered as a girl at school. Besides, it's fun to dress up once in a while."
Noel frowned, obviously not convinced. She glanced at her reflection in the nearby wall mirror, then she stared at the floor.
"Shun -- why's the floor all wet?"
Shun glanced down. The floor was wet. More than wet -- there was at least half an inch of standing water.
"What the heck? Where did all of this come from?"
Even as she spoke, the water was rising. It lapped at her shoes, soaking her socks.
"Is the shop flooding?" Noel asked. Everywhere she looked, there was water flowing across the floor. "Shun, I think we should leave..."
The two faux girls headed for the front of the shop, but with every step the water grew deeper and rose faster. It was up to their knees now, impeding their progress. They still couldn't see where it was coming from, but Noel was becoming alarmed.
"Shun! We've got to get out of here now!"
The water was waist-high, and a deep murky green. The two girls were in the center of the shop now. They could see the front door. Mannequins were floating in front of the large display windows. They struggled to force their way through the rising flood, but it was like trying to swim through treacle.
The water was up to their chest... their neck. Shun was yelling something, but Noel couldn't hear. They were ten meters from the door... eight. They were swimming now, the water just a few feet from the ceiling. And then, in a rush, it rose up to meet the ceiling. Noel and Shun gasped and dove down, hoping they could make it the last few feet...
Visibility was limited. The water was dark and fogged like a mist, like a dirt-filled pond. Objects only a few feet away were dark, blurry shadows, but the light filtering in through the glass at the front was easy enough to spot.
And then they saw it, blocking the front door: a massive thing, at least eight feet tall, with the body of a man and the head of a fish. It had powerfully muscled arms, but they looked misshapen, and ended in flat, finned arms and wide webbed hands. It moved through the water easily. It turned one large green eye on the two of them, and opened wide it's massive mouth, revealing row upon row of sharp, jagged teeth...
It lunged for Noel. She tried to dodge, but the creature moved like the wind, while Noel's movements were slowed by the strangely thick liquid. It grabbedd her by the ankle, and it's mouth opened impossibly wide. She felt herself being shoved deep into it's massive maw...
to be continued
