A/N: More apologies for the slow update, I have been soooooooooooooooooooooo busy with school, its insane! so I have had no time to even think about fanfics...but I'm sure I can fit some time in for one little update ;) also! i will be editing my writing style a tad for this story as i want to portray emotion and such much better so please excuse any notable changes :) The End?
Alessa had visited him that night in the brother's room to inform him that she was infact going to trade his life for Joshua's.
Alex wasn't afraid, he had nothing to lose at this point, he knew his mother and father wouldn't miss him, especially if it meant they could have Joshua back.
Perhaps Alex wouldn't be such a burden on them afterall...
He could return the most valuable thing he took away from them, and most importantly, he could give Joshua his life back.
Alessa had ordered Alex to take his own life at the lake where Joshua had lost his. She told him that he would have to complete this at sunrise and in return Lillian and Adam would awake to their precious, angelic, Joshua.
He hadn't had much time to think of exactly how he would do all of this, but he began impulsively stuffing large rocks into an old backpack he had owned since he was seven years old.
Alex stepped quietly out onto the front lawn of the Shepherd home, scowling slightly as the morning dew dampened his shoes. It wasn't a long walk to the lake, but unlike everyother time Alex felt like this walk felt like it was taking forever, perhaps because it would be his last.
The morning sunlight began to peak over the hills and trees covering the horizon, causing the dark waters to glisten with golden peaks that only now Alex had begun to truely appreciate.
It all reminded him that up until now his life was a mass of dark emptyness and now that he could do this for Josh it was like someone had lightened up the darkness.
He slid the heavy backpack stoicly over his right shoulder and began to advance into the shallow water. The moment was suprisingly solemn for Alex, he had never thought he would be this calm, but as the icy water began to creep up to his knees Alex felt a few warm tears fall from his chocolate coloured eyes, those same eyes his mother had told him were extremely sparkly, especially for brown eyes, she claimed this was a good thing as it meant he was very healthy, but personally Alex never really saw the 'sparkle' she spoke of.
The water began to reach his hips, he turned slightly at the sounds of someone approaching.
"Alex, what on earth are you doing!" Elle's mother called from the edge of the lake.
The Shepherd was tired, tired of being hated, tired of being judged, and now he was going to be hassled by this stuck up bitch, he just knew it. Alex had never liked Margaret Holloway, she had always had something against himself and Joshua, she had even been rather curt with his own father at times, and usually everyone in the town tried their hardest to suck up Adam's ass due to his aggressive personality and the fact he was an ex-soldier, which made it all the more easier to intimidate those around him.
Without a responce, Alex began to receed from the water, a quiet 'sloshing' sound occured as he did so. Margaret glared at the teen who now had the whole bottom half of his body drenched in water, and the other half bone dry.
"Well? Care to explain?" She ushered on.
The Shepherd's eyes fell to the floor. "This is none of your buisness..."
Margaret chuckled mockingly at the unstable male, Alex ignored her and adverted his gaze to what appeared to be a book in the her hand. The cover was a deep crimson colour with gold trimming on the entire outer edge of the cover.
"You do realise I am going to inform your father of this incident." She broke the silence.
Alex's expression did not waver, he would not let her bully him.
"Do what you like, I really couldn't care less." The teen replied nonchalantly.
He noticed straight away that she did not like his care-free reaction, but he kept it up regardless.
"I shall tell him when I'm done with my buisness."
Alex cocked an eyebrow slightly. "Buisness?"
"Yes..." He saw her grip on the book tighten slightly.
Margaret looked down at the rock filled bag dangling lifelessly from Alex's shoulder.
"And what exactly is that all about?"
He swallowed. "Like I said earlier, none of your buisness."
The elder smirked yet again. "Well, it will be your fathers buisness soon enough, whether you like it or not."
"Infact, I think it would be wise if I escort you home Alex, I don't feel I can trust you out here by yourself."
Alex glared at the middle aged woman before hesitantly following her lead back to his house. The whole walk home he could not stop thinking about Joshua, and how his only opportunity to get him back had been utterly spoiled.
Slowly Alex headed toward the front door of his home, Margaret watched him enter the house before she left. Once inside Alex leaned his back against the front door and slowly began to slide down it until he was seated on the floor. He saw nothing, heard nothing, thought nothing. He felt dead. Maybe he could rush back down to the lake now and quickly finish the job. Perhaps it didn't matter if it all happened a tad later than planned, would Alessa accept that? Alex buried his head his hands, raking his finger through his short dark hair. He checked his watch, it was currently 7:23 and Alex felt a wave of helplessness wash over him. He didn't want to live like this anymore, he couldn't handle the immense greif he had to deal with everyday, that tight feeling in his chest, the constant feeling of asphixiation as he had to accept the fact he killed his brother.
Slowly he stood up, his hands and legs were shaking, he just wanted a second chance to get Josh back, he would do it right this time, no more interruptions.
Alex silently made his way up to his bedroom; careful not to wake his parents in the process.
He had became good at sneaking around the house when he and Joshua were young. Some nights the two would sneak down to the kitchen take a cookie for each of them from the glass jar and then sneak back up to the warm comfort of their bunk.
Alex relished in the past, and the memories of he and Joshua that could never die.
He climbed into bed and staired at the Army poster Adam had deliberately placed in the boys room to peruade them into being the soldiers he once was.
Alex had wanted to become a soldier at one stage of his childhood, but he had come to realise it wasn't because of his own personal aspirations, but more because his father practically loathed him and the boy needed something to make his dad acknowledge him.
He didn't expect to fall asleep, but he needed to think of what would happen next, would Alessa return?
Alex decided to head to the den and watch some T.V on the crappy old unit his father refused to replace regardless of how old and broken it was.
He paid no attention to the channel he had placed it on, in essence he was paying no real attention to the program at all. He had no idea how much time had passed, Alex just remained still in an almost catatonic state watching the moving images beind the glass screen. Alex snapped out of his daze when he overheard his mother talking to his father.
He could only hear small portions of the conversation. "Please Adam, he just needs more time with the medication."
Alex wondered how long they had both been awake for, and if Margaret had said anything to Adam yet.
The teen jumped slightly when he heard his father call out his name from downstairs.
A/N: okay so thats all for now! :) I'm so excited to write the next chapter as it is going to be eventful :) ahah i hope this story makes sense for you guys and if you ever have questions dont hesitate to ask :) PLEASE REVIEW! it means so much when i get reviews for my work so please help out. ahhhhh unfortunately this story is coming to an end in only a few more chapters :'( oh well, ill just have to start another alex and josh story when im done with this one :D hahaha any hoo hope you all enjoyed.
