Hey guess what guys!!!! IT'S AN UPDATE!!! I know finally. Sorry about that. Please review. I'm getting less and less and that's making me sad. Now here's the story.
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Two months, yeah crazy. Christmas brake is tomorrow and Kenny is leaving. YES! I can finally have peace of mind. I can go over to see Ryan more and not worry about bumping into Kenny. I could even stay over and sleep in Ryan's huge ass king size bed.
Emily being the girl that she is, is throwing a huge party and is just about inviting half the school. Emily's new best friend, due to Luke, curse him, is Sky. My sister is over that house more then I am or ever was and I can't get rid of her. The only good thing about Sky being Emily's best friend is that Emily has convinced my sister to like me. Sky doesn't call me rat anymore, thank god. She calls me Middy.
Ryan and I are doing better everyday. I think I might be almost over Kenny, keyword, almost. The consent reminder of seeing him and Jana from my math class is always a help for me to be over him. I swear they are worse then Sky and Luke. They are always all over each other and have no idea when to stop. It's really gross.
I ran up the stairs with Ryan at my heals. I turned a sharp left and then down the long hallway to him bedroom on the right. I dropped my book bag in the doorway and jumped up onto Ryan's bed. Ryan most have closed the door for I heard it click. He jumped up onto the bed and pulled me close to him so close that I could feel him get hard. This was starting to be come a daily routine. I just smiled. He started to trail kisses along my neck softly. Now that wasn't something he did everyday.
" Ry?" I asked him softly. I didn't want to kill the warm feeling that I felt.
" Hmmm…?"
" You really missed me this much today?"
" Yes. Now do you have a problem with that?"
" No, no problem." I said and relaxed fully. Silence filled the room for a few moments and I was content with it.
" It's the 23erd." He said breaking the silence.
" Yes I know, our 2 month anniversary." I said softly. I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth or that I was with Ryan on his huge bed yet again.
" Yes it is." I felt him get harder as he pulled me tighter to him.
" You horny boy." I said.
" I can't help it if I have the most beautiful girl in the world in my arms." I rolled my eyes. " I'm really sorry I wasn't here last weekend. I really wanted to be here to celebrate your birthday. I-" I rolled over into his hard chest cutting him off.
" Hey it's okay. Your dad wanted bonding time with his boys. I didn't think he would take you guys hunting though. If only you brought me back a deer head. That would have been the perfect present for me." I joked.
" No I'm really sorry." He said pulling me tighter to his chest." I really wanted to be here with you. You mean so much to me. I-" a knock on the door cut him off.
He sighed deeply and looked to the door. " What do you want from my life?" He asked in response.
The door opened and in stepped Emily. " Can I borrow Midnight?" She asked
" Right now? I thought you said you would be needing her later. We were kinda in the middle of something." Ryan said shaking slightly with frustration.
" Plains change. I need her now." Emily said.
" Ugh! Do you really need her right this very minute? Can't you come back in about 10?" I went to sit up but he pulled me back down.
" I'll be back as soon as I can." I kissed him tenderly, trying to convince him to let me go.
" ….fine. We'll finish later." We both sat up and he rapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. " Don't act so sad cutie. I'll be back soon." He nodded into my shoulder. He was acting as if he was never going to see me again. Once he apprehensively let me go I followed Emily to her room ant then into her closet.
She held up two outfits. " Which one do you like better?" she asked. I'm no good at things like that.
" Oh I don't know." I said.
" I had a feeling that you would say something like that." She said with a smirk. " Stay right here. I'll be right back." She left the room with and came back with Kenny tailing behind her. He stopped dead in his tracks once he saw me so he was only a few feet into the room. " Which one do you like better?"
" I don't know. They both will make you look like a slut." He said.
" Oh I know!" Emily said quickly and then sped out the room closing the door behind her with a locking click.
Kenny ran over to the door and jiggled the handle. " Crap. Carp. Carp. Shit. Crap. Crap. Shit! Emily unlock the door!" He yelled.
" No not until you work out your problems with each other." She said her voice getting farther and farther.
" There's nothing to work out! We hate each other! " He said. He slid down the back of the door and put his face in his hands. Sadness thrashed through me.
" Do you really hate me that much that you can't stand to be in the same room with me?" I asked sinking down to the floor. Tears were not listening to me and starting to trickle down my face.
He picked up his head and looked at me for a moment. I just stared sadly at him.
" I don't hate you. I never could." He said softly. Then every bolted up feeling came out.
Ryan was great in every way but I want Kenny. Ryan's kisses never even came close to Kenny's. It was easier to not think about Kenny when I thought he hated me. Now it's almost as if I can go back to Kenny and everything would be okay but it never will be.
He placed a cool arm around my shoulders and I berried my face into his shoulder. I wrapper my arms around his torso and pulled him as close as I could to me. He wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me tighter against him. He stroked my hair softly as I cried, wishing everything were different. I wanted everything to be different. I don't want to be crying on his shoulder because I want to be with him. I wish there wasn't a need for me t be crying on his shoulder. I felt him place his head softly down on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry." I whispered once the tears had stopped.
" Me too. I missed you so much." He said matching my tone.
I tightened my arms around him as he did to me. " I missed you too. I'm really sorry I was horrible to you."
" No. It's okay. Everything's okay."
I picked up my head to look at him. He picked up his. His eyes were warm and soft. His skin looked so soft and smooth. I just wanted to put my hand out and place it on his cheek.
" Midnight, I don't like Jana. I never have." He said then his lips were on mine.
This was different from when Ryan kissed me. There were fireworks, billions of bright colors and an explosion of feelings. The flying feeling came back and I felt whole, fixed, and good as new. I felt alive.
His lips felt so different against mine. They fit in like a missing part of the puzzle. It felt so right to have him so close to me. I never want to let him go and then suddenly his lips were gone.
I looked up into his eyes and they were full of sadness.
" He loves you, you know." He said
I shook my head. " No he doesn't."
" Yes he does. You should hear him talk about you. He says it all the time. He talks about you constantly. Out of no were he'll say ' Man I love her.' with a true smile on his face and with true love in his eyes. I hurts me so much to know that he loves you. It tares me up. It feels as if everything has been ripped out of me. It hurts because I love you too and I know that you're his, not mine to hold, to kiss, to love and you never will be mine because he loves you."
I could see the pain, the torment the he held in his eyes. " You don't mean that." They can't love me. There has to be something wrong for them to say that. There is something wrong with both of them, everyone in this house. They all leave for hunting trips but there has to be something more to it. Emily would not go hunting. They're so cold all the time, so strong like nothing could ever hurt them. They're so different and that's what pulls me to them.
He let go of me and backed up to the other side of the closet. " He was going to tell you himself how much he cares. He was going to do it tonight. I understand that you love him too. What's not to love about Ryan?" He forced a smile onto his face. I could still see the tortured look in his eyes.
" Why are you doing this Kenny?" I wanted it to be a lie. Ryan can't love me nor the more important Kenny. It would be so wrong for them to love me.
They are so prefect, so beautiful. They're beauty is a consent reminder of how different they are. They can't love someone ugly, stupid, worthless, horrible, and as selfish as I'm. It's just not right.
He looked at me confused. His dull red almost blond brows nit together. " Midnight I love you. I just wanted you to know that. I was just with Jana to make you jealous, show you that I don't need you even though that's a lie. It's okay that Ryan loves you. You're his not mine. He can love you. You can love him. It's just not okay for me to love you. Even when we were friends it was wrong for me to. It never will be right for me to." He whispered.
The word sunk in and I knew that I was in even more trouble then I was before because I love him too. I love Kenny Fay and that's going to hurt a lot of people.
The closet clicked open. Kenny sprang up and went to the door. I grabbed his wrist. " Don't go. I'm not done talking." I begged. His eyes held so much emotion it was hard to read.
" Well I'm done listening. I don't want to be told that I don't mean something that I clearly do." He said sharply. His words stung like salt and ice, then the numbness came. I let go of him and let him walk out.
