A/N: I got another TWELVE reviews for last chapter. Thank you all so much. You guys are the best. A special mention goes to my friend Amanda for helping me again...and to Calliope Jones for our wonderful talk about Southern Boys...Enjoy!


Chapter 12: Failed Attempts

~Jasper~

For two weeks, my plan had been working.

My avoiding Elizabeth was driving her insane. It was irritating to her that I wouldn't give her a second glance each time she passed me or vice versa.

I thought I'd be able to continue this with no problem.

Wishful thinking.

When Alice came and told me that she and Esme were having a birthday party for Lilly, and that I had to be there, I knew there'd be trouble. But, I couldn't say no to Alice. She was always so happy that saying no would be like a slap in the face.

I didn't know how I was going to do it. I hadn't spent more than five minutes in the same room as her. But, I wasn't a child…we were both adults right? We could act civil around each other.

Yea, right. The moment she walked in the room, I knew that all my work had been in vain because all those feelings just came flooding back.

One look at that navy blue dress alone was enough to be my undoing.

Did she do that on purpose? No, she couldn't possibly know that it was one of my favorite colors. Then again, Alice's the one who took her shopping—that damn little pixie. But, I loved and respected Alice too much to even think about being mad at her.

I just stayed towards the back during the whole birthday festivities. She's be too busy to notice me right?

Wrong-God, I was so wrong.

The moment she saw me, I could feel her genuine surprise along with just a twinge of happiness.

When Lilly smudged that cake mess on her face and there was that awkward moment between she and Edward, all I wanted to do was scream at Edward and what an idiot he was.

Don't get me wrong, Bella is very beautiful. Even in her human life she was quite the looker but, there's just something about Elizabeth. Hell, that could just be me.

If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't even have thought twice before leaning over and cleaning that mess right off of her. Again, wishful thinking.

And then it was time for gifts. Of course I waited until it was almost the end. I have to admit though, that Lilly is such a sweetheart. She definitely has her mother's kind heart.

The moment I called her "Miss Lilly," I felt a hint of lust and anger coming from Elizabeth and Edward. I didn't have to be a genius to know which emotion came from whom.

What can I say, women are still drawn to the Southern accent.

It seems as if it's her weakness…and my curse.

I decided to give Lilly one of the oldest books that I own. A book that my own mother used to read to me from when I was younger. And I gave it to her because I knew that she would enjoy it. When she told me thank you and wrapped those tiny little arms around me, it was a wonderful feeling. This little girl is so innocent and cute that I can't help but love her.

But, she left and went over to be with her dad when he called her over. And don't for a second think I didn't catch the tension in his voice either. He was upset that Lilly liked me so much.

The song he wrote for her was nice. I'll admit it. It made everyone gaze longingly into their loved one eyes. I had no one. So, I just focused myself on Elizabeth to see what she was doing. It was then that jealousy overcame my senses without me even being aware of it.

She could stand so close to Edward and yet, she wasn't scared. She was so peaceful standing there, listening to the song. I know that she would never be able to be by my side and have that same peaceful feeling. I was no good for her.

After all those happy feelings just about drove me crazy, Alice mentioned something about swimming. And, I knew that this was my cue to exit. Yea, right like I was going to go swimming. Not to say I don't enjoy it…I love the water…just not with a bunch of people around.

I was leaving the room when I heard Elizabeth kindly decline the offer to go as well.

Something about how she didn't like to go swimming.

What a sneak…I knew exactly why she didn't want to go.

I should've left her alone…I should've never went up to her room. I knew I wouldn't be able to just go in there to talk.

I didn't really mean to treat her the way I did. I needed her to think that I was a jerk so, I hit her where it hurts…mentioning both Lilly and her scars.

I had just insulted her and she turned around and went all soft on me.

"You shouldn't want anything to do with me. I'm not good." I didn't look at her but I could tell she was pondering something over in her mind.

The same sensations flew through my system when she touched my hand. One simple touch and I just about…

"That's not true." She said barely above a whisper "All you have to do is let me…"

And then she reached up and touched the side of my face. God, this girl is going to be the death of me! I stayed frozen. Not because I didn't enjoy it…I couldn't show emotion towards her gestures.

"Please…" her sweet voice practically pleaded with me and I just about melted in her arms right then and there. She was trying to so hard to reach me…but, I couldn't let her.

Oh, and then heaven help me, she tried to kiss me! What in God's green Earth possessed her to do that?! As much as I wanted her to, I knew that it would be all bad so I pushed her away from me.

I was practically pleading with her to leave me alone. I couldn't handle it anymore.

Her response? She said she couldn't and three seconds later, her hands were on the collar of my shirt.

No, no! That wasn't an option. I had to get her away from me…and fast.

I grabbed her wrists and her back on the bed roughly, trying to scare her off. But, much to my surprise, she wasn't scared.

Hell, she was somewhat turned on. And truth be told, so was I.

And this wasn't the direction I needed to go in.

No, let me rephrase that, it wasn't the direction I should be going in.

So I grabbed her up again and literally dropped her into the bathtub and turned the cold water on her full blast.

It was actually quite comical to see her trying to turn it off but she didn't succeed. I told her she needed to get the scent off of her. Bull, I wanted my scent to be on her…but I had to tell her something before I left the room.

I was practically out the door when I heard her turn the water off and then back on again. My initial reaction was to turn right back around and go in there…to do what, I'm not really sure.

I didn't want to invade her privacy…I wasn't brought up that way.

But the other side of me wanted to invade everything.

I wanted her to let my hands travel freely across her skin, letting me touch every single scar of hers.

I knew she would let me if I asked…but, I knew I couldn't.

It wouldn't be right.

I knew that she would follow me. If anything, I had just aggravated her even more.

And, from what I knew about her, she wasn't one to just let someone treat her like that and just sit back and forget about it.

I knew that she would go straight for the same spot we had our conversation. And, even though I knew that, I still went there.

It was like I wanted her to come find me.

It had just started to rain when I heard her call my name.

Like we were playing a game of hide and seek with one another.

I came out so that I was in her line of sight and watched as she closed her eyes, no doubt trying to get a sense of what I was feeling.

She was getting good at this whole 'power mimicry' thing. But, I was still faster and I shut off all my emotions before she could get a good sense of anything.

"I hurt you." She started talking when I made no attempt to say anything.

"No, no you didn't." I scoffed at her. She hadn't hurt me to be honest. Many other things but hurt wasn't one of them.

"Yes, I did…"

Oh, she wasn't making this any easier on me was she? I needed to keep pushing her, as far as way as possible.

"No, Elizabeth you didn't. Because guess what? You don't matter enough to me to hurt me…" my words pierced her dead heart and I felt it. It was such an agonizing feeling of hurt and rejection.

"You don't mean that." She shook her head.

I turned to walk away from her…hoping she would just drop it.

"No, please!" she cried, running over and grabbing my arm in hers. One simple touch and I was on the verge of losing it again.

"Leave Elizabeth…" was all I managed to get out. Too much talking and my emotions would surely show in my voice.

She moved from my side to stand in front of me.

"You say that I don't matter to you…but you matter to me." She said softly.

"I'm no good for you Elizabeth…and you know it. You only are here because I've been avoiding you and it makes you feel unwanted…which is good because I'm the last person who should be wanting you."

"Do you want me?"

"No." I said quickly.

Lies, it was all lies…

"You're lying." She frowned. See, even she had seen right though me.

"I don't want you." I repeated more firmly this time "I can't want you." I said, and I knew she could hear the defeat in my voice.

She was getting to me and I didn't know whether to rejoice or hate her for doing this to me.

Before I realized what I was doing, I had grabbed her wrists with one of my hands and the other hand shot to the top of my shirt. She watched as I undid the buttons, stopping when I reached the fourth one.

I faintly hear her say something when she stopped, and shock resonated off her body.

I dropped her hands and she covered her mouth as a gasp left her lips.

Good. This girl needed a good dose of shock.

"You…" she spoke, and she no longer was shocked, she was angry at me "why didn't you tell me!" she screamed, pushing against me roughly and I actually stumbled back a little.

I forget sometimes that she's still a fairly young vampire and all her strength hasn't worn off yet.

When she went to hit me again, I stopped her and grabbed her hands again. Again, I am much more skillful when it comes to fighting.

"This…" I pushed her this time against the tree "is why I keep pushing you away." My voice dropped as I glared at her.

"I told you…" I growled slightly "I told you to leave me alone…" I pressed up against her with way more force than was called for. "And now, you leave me with no choice…"

All control I had was quickly fading away to the back of my mind when I leaned down to kiss that scar of hers. The texture of it felt amazing…and even though she didn't say anything, I knew she was enjoying it.

"You're a hypocrite…" she finally said.

I smiled slightly against her. Hell yes I was. And I didn't care.

"And so what if I am?" I looked at her, wanting to see if she had the courage to answer me back "that's what I thought."

She stayed silent, her eyes never leaving mine. I must've been so focused on them that I almost didn't catch that sneaky hand of hers trying to touch the piece of skin that was now exposed.

I grabbed it, kissed it and placed both of them against her cheek.

"Please…" her voice pleaded. And I didn't know why she was pleading.

"You can't. You've already seen too much." I was disgusted over the fact that she had seen this much.

"There's more?"

"I'm sorry Elizabeth. But this. You and I. Us. It can't happen…I won't let it happen."

"Why?" she asked innocently and for god sakes, she even pouted. This girl was going to be the death of me.

"I would only hurt you." I told her for like the tenth time.

"I can handle pain."

Was she really serious?

I placed my forehead against hers, desperate for more electricity to flow from me to her.

"You have no idea what you're saying. I have a hard time trying to control myself whenever I'm around you…you make me feel things that I shouldn't be feeling. I refuse to feel them."

Didn't I know it! Just one look alone was enough to drive me insane. I don't why or how she was doing these things to me.

I wanted to give her everything she asked me for.

But, to do more than this would be taking it too far.

Even what I was doing now was crossing the line.

I couldn't bring myself to do it. As much as I yearned for her, I wasn't about to do it.

Guess all that Southern hospitality was still flowing through my veins.

I wasn't about to take advantage of this girl.

She had already been taken advantage before…

Before either of us could say anything more, Emmett found us. Thank god for that.

At least with Emmett, I didn't have to hide my thoughts from.

Now, Emmett isn't stupid, he's just a bit innocent and gullible sometimes.

So, when Elizabeth told him that she had simply gone for a walk, he believed it.

The walk back home was just long enough for me to get my thoughts in order.

I smiled to myself as I listened to the small conversation between Emmett and Elizabeth. He loved her so much, and he was just beside himself now that she was back with him.

He had part of his real family back with him. He was very fortunate.

I would give anything to have someone come back to me…well, a certain someone to be exact.

When we walked back into the house, my thoughts shifted to my book I had been reading.

Yea, that wasn't suspicious at all.

I heard Lilly talking to her mother and then her laughing when Elizabeth got some of her wet hair in her face.

"I'll be back baby." She smiled at her daughter again before heading upstairs to change.

I quickly glanced at my family, but they all were pretty much back into what they were doing.

"Jasper, why are you wet? Did you walk with mommy too?" the little angel looked at me, a smile on her face.

"Yea Miss Lilly, we talked for a little bit. I hope you don't mind." I smiled softly at her.

"No, mommy like to talk to people."

Yes, yes she did. God, I was sort of mad now that Emmett interrupted what was happening. Though, part of was glad that he did. Who knows if I would been able to control myself any longer.

I wondered what Emmet would've done if he found Elizabeth and I…with me pressing her against the tree like I had. It had felt so nice…I had just about combusted with how close I was to her.

She smelt divine. What would I have given for just one taste…no, no!

I CAN"T be thinking like this.

Oh…my eyes immediately shot up when I got hit with an intense wave of anger.

"Daddy what's wrong? I saw Lilly tug on his sleeve but his eyes were glued to mine.

He charged up the stairs in a blink of an eye. I just about took a step and went after him when Alice called me.

"No, Jasper. He's not going to hurt her…at least, not physically." She frowned.

What the hell was that supposed to mean?!

"Fine." I sighed and instead just went into my room and sat there…listening to Edward speak in that damn condescending voice of his. The one he uses when he think he's better than you are.

And I didn't it like it for one second that he was talking to Elizabeth in that manner. She didn't deserve to be treated like that.

At that moment, I really felt like a hypocrite. The things I had said to her weren't the nicest either. Granted, I didn't really mean half of what I said but still, this had to stop.

I couldn't stand and listen to Edward bash Elizabeth any longer so I went to take a shower and turned the water on full blast so everyone's emotions and conversations would fade into the background.

The water was as hot as it would go and I just stood there for the longest time, placing both my hands on the wall and just letting the water fall over my face on down my shoulders, hoping desperately that the tension would melt away.

It helped somewhat and by the time I got out, my head was back on straight and I had a clearer mind.

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

I walked out of the bathroom and just about stumbled as I slipped my shirt on over my head.

Lo and behold, there she was, waiting for me.

How could it be that even in a pair of sweats and simple undershirt could someone look so….lethal??

I felt lust wash over me…unfortunately for her, she hadn't figured out how to block emotions yet.

I saw her eyes indiscreetly roaming over me as I finished putting my shirt on.

Well, at least she liked what she saw. She was probably too busy to notice the….oh, well never mind that.

"Hey." She said a bit nervously.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I try something?" she walked closer to me until we were a few inches apart again.

"What?" I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Can I hug you?" she tilted her head, trying to play the innocent card on me.

But, I was beginning to see that Elizabeth was anything but innocent.

"I don't get…" I got cut off as she closed the gap between up and wrapped her slender arms around me and pressed her head against my chest.

I instantly went into statue mode. Moving at this point would be suicide.

I wouldn't be able to control myself.

"Why are you doing this?" I tried to speak without inhaling. Not so easy.

"Because…" she sighed deeply "You're afraid of me Jasper. And I need you to tell me why."

In about a split second, all my muscles tensed and my arms stayed frozen at my side.

Why on Earth would she think that?

What would possess her to think that I was afraid??

Had I really been that transparent?

All this time, I had been trying to convince her that I was the one who'd hurt her.

All this time, I thought I was pushing and blocking her out of my thoughts and emotions.

But, with that one sentence, I had been proved wrong.

Everything felt like it was falling apart now.

All the lies…all the avoidance…it'd all been in vain.

She had figured it out.

What choice did I have now?

I would have to tell her.

"Well…" I started talking, pausing when that delectable scent filled my senses. Oh, it was wonderful "first of all…" I backed up a little from her, taking in her appearance. The straps of her shirt had slid off her shoulders.

"If we're going to talk, we can't have this going on." I smiled slightly, hooking my fingers in the straps and sliding them back up her arms, causing her to tremble slightly at the feel of my hands on her.

"It's not proper for a woman to be so exposed." I explained.

"Proper?" she laughed gently. "would you like me to wear a sweater?" she teased.

Like hell I wanted her to wear a sweater. But, I wouldn't tell her that. I was supposed to be a gentleman after all.

"No, it should be fine…besides, if you leave, I probably won't be able to find the courage to tell you this again."

"What?" she asked, a hint of excitement in her voice.

"I think maybe if I told you some more things about my past, you'll get a better understanding of…"

"Of what?" she looked at me confused.

"As to why we can't be together…" I said softly. What was I thinking?? Why did I just say that!

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" she threw her hand up in exasperation.

"Can you just hear me out? You just accused me of being afraid of you…and I think you need to get some things straight in that pretty little head of yours…"

"Try me." She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at me.

Oh for god sakes.

"Can you please not do that?" I frowned and turned away from her and sat on my bed, settling against the headboard.

"Well, come on…you asked for this didn't you?" I moved my hand out in front of me, motioning for her to sit down.

"What exactly are you going to tell me?" she asked once we were both sitting.

"You'll see…" I mumbled. I didn't really want to tell her anything more than I had but…with her looking at me like that and biting her bottom lip in anticipation…

She could ask me to sing the Mexican national anthem and I would do it without shame…as long as she kept that same exact look on her face that she had at this moment.

Here goes nothing…


Well, how was it?? The next chapter is going to be nothing but flashabcks from Jasper. I've already gotten one amazing idea for one so if anyone has other suggestions, feel free to let me know.

Hope you all enjoyed Jasper's POV...maybe it made things a little bit clearer now.

Reviews=LOVE