Ahh guys I am so sorry for not updating! School's been crazy lately, and one of my friends is sorta going through an early-life crisis… It's pretty much all better now, though, which is why I finally have time to write! Thank you all so much for your patience, and please leave a review!

Kirleigh

Aria

Her heart was beating exceptionally fast, and she wasn't sure she could breathe properly. Could he hear her pulse from where he stood? Could he see her flushed cheeks and wide eyes? Most likely; her heartbeat sounded like drums in her own ears, and it seemed quite probable to Aria that Ezra could hear it from a dozen feet away.

And it wasn't just her heart going haywire; her mind was running, fleeing, to a thousand places at once. Was she absolutely awful for wanting to be held by him even now? Now, as they stared at each other, hazel eyes meeting blue, with racing heads and hammering hearts?

Should she say something? Should she flee, as part of her so desperately wanted to? On the other hand, even if she could compel herself to do so, her legs would need considerable convincing. And Ezra looked so lonely there; so hopeless and hopeful and confused; that before Aria could process what she was doing- before her common sense could slow her down- she was walking toward him.

And she was reaching up (she nearly had to stretch, he was so much taller than her), and she was brushing against his face with the softest fingers and lightest touch. Neither breathed; they simply stood in complete amazement of the other. And there was so much she wanted to say to him- there was so much she needed to apologize for, and explain.

But in that eternal moment, all she could do was stare and regret and wish, until Ezra was pulling her closer, enveloping her tiny body in his strong arms and hugging her with a desperate tenderness. And she was wrapping her arms around him, burying her head in his chest, and wishing the moment would never end.

But there is no place in this world where 'forever' is true, and so Aria eventually had to shift away. "What am I supposed to say?" she whispered, questioning herself more than Ezra. She'd never read a book with this scenario; how was she supposed to act now? What was she supposed to know, or do, or feel?

"I don't know," the heartbreakingly blue-eyed young man replied honestly. "To be honest, I have no idea what to do now. I was sort of hoping you would…" Aria had to smile then, in the midst of all these crazy, spiraling emotions.

Was it really possible they'd met only a month ago? That they'd so much history, so deep a connection, so intense a relationship; all while knowing so little about each other, and in so short a span of time?

"Ezra…" Aria murmured, savoring his name on her lips. "Ezra, listen. I just need you to know how much I regret this, how much I hated hurting you, and lying to you. If I could-" she stopped in surprise when Ezra took her tiny hands in his (and she was struck again by how much she'd missed this little detail).

"I don't," he declared, and she looked at him in confusion. "I don't regret it. I don't regret meeting you, getting to know you, or feeling this way about you. I know how odd or awful this must seem, but I don't care. I've never met anyone like you, Aria. And I don't care what the cost is, I don't want to give that up."

Aria stared at him for a long moment, eyes wide. These were the words she'd been longing to hear for weeks; these were the words she'd dreamt of him saying. And to hear them coming from him now felt like a miracle, a phenomenon; her heart felt ready to burst with joy.

But there was a part of her that resisted the easy, happy route; that knew the right thing to do. And though the rest of her mind attempted to smother that tiny voice, it was also the voice that had known to listen to Hardy, and which now became more powerful than the rest of her thoughts.

Although she hated it, she knew there was only one thing she could do that wouldn't result in even more pain in the long run- no matter how much it ached now. Aria looked down at their clasped hands, taking in the way his covered hers perfectly. Then she looked back up to his beautiful face, seeking to memorize the look in his deep blue eyes the way some map out stars.

"I don't want to give that up either, Ezra," she murmured, and she could see the relief and happiness in his eyes- which twisted the knife she was digging into her own heart. "But you're my teacher now.

"And even if neither of us think it's wrong, even if it feels so right, you could lose your job. You could go to jail." He started to interrupt, likely to tell her that he didn't care what might happen to him, but Aria didn't give him the chance.

"And I'm so sorry for everything. I wish I wasn't doing this to you. I know I'm an awful person. It hurts to say this, honestly. But I can't put you in that position, in that danger. I'm sorry, Ezra, but I just can't." There was a pause; Aria took a deep breath, Ezra swallowed.

"And I should really be going. My family will be wondering where I am. Goodbye, Ez- goodbye, Mr. Fitz." Her soft, tiny hands slipped out of his, and then she was walking away. Away from the man of her dreams, the man she'd fallen in love with; away from that wonderful, awful, risky, faithful path.

Aria told herself she wouldn't look back. Looking back meant being uncertain, being unmotivated; it meant that maybe she wasn't so sure this was the right thing to do. It would give him hope that she might be open to being more than just his student.

And in an instant, Aria thought, What the hell. I am all of those things. I just need to see his face one more time. So she glanced back, and instantly regretted it. Because Ezra hadn't moved; he still stood right where she had left him, staring desperately after her with a defeated air.

And she almost turned around. She almost ran back to him and told him how much she loved him, and apologized for thinking she could walk away from him. But that tiny voice from earlier stuck around, strengthening her resolve. So she turned back to face the path she had created for herself, chewing on her lip so hard it started to bleed, and ignored all other thoughts.

What had she done? She felt like the worst human being alive; she'd practically been yanking Ezra's feelings around on a leash since meeting him. And now… Aria had walked into school this morning terrified to see him, terrified she'd spill her feelings.

And she'd thought there was still a chance for them. Which was ironic, really, since that had been before Ezra told her how he felt. She'd been cautious and unsure; but now, she couldn't allow herself to even consider the possibility of reuniting with him.

She'd just been firm with him- she needed to be just as firm with herself. She was doing this for him, after all. No matter what he thought, if something happened to him because of her, she would never be able to forgive herself.

So she just had to keep reminding herself why she was putting them both through this- to save him from getting fired, and to save both of them from inevitable heartache). Now that she knew for sure where they stood, she was just one step closer in getting over Ezra completely.

Ezra

`And he was lost, floating and falling and spinning in a sort of shocked silence. Had this really just happened? He'd made up his mind, he'd admitted to himself and Aria how much he cared about her, and she chose to give it up out of worry for him.

He could hear the pain in her voice as she told him they couldn't be together; he could see the regret and sorrow in her eyes. And still he wanted to be the one to hold her close and make her feel better. But she'd made herself clear; nothing could happen between them.

He wanted a way to convince her that he didn't care about the risks; but the truth was, he did a little. The truth was that he was a little scared of what would happen if anyone found out what had happened between them- not only did he have no other job possibilities, there was a large chance he could be arrested.

But what Aria didn't understand was that the possibility of being with her far outweighed those things. He made up his mind now; he would start looking for another job. If he was no longer her teacher, Aria would have no reason to avoid him… right?

It didn't matter to Ezra their age difference; all he knew when he was around Aria was that she stood out like a jewel among everyone else he knew, and everything about her just made Ezra happy. Looking into her green-gold eyes, holding her tiny hands, seeing her little amused smile and hearing that soft, melodic voice.

And after a lifetime of trying to understand what true happiness was (Friends? Which he had. Fortune? He'd given that up), Ezra still only knew that when you find something that makes your heart seem to burst with joy, that makes you dizzy with pure admiration, and breathless with love, you should hold onto it. Because an unhappy life is hardly worth living, and sometimes you only get one chance for that happiness.

But now he was stuck in an only slightly different situation than before; because now he was still longing after her, and now he was still trying to get over her; except now, she had been the one to tell him they couldn't be together. And that cut him far deeper than it had when Hardy said it.

Could it be he'd been wrong all along? Could it be that he'd always been more invested in their relationship than her, that he'd completely misread and overanalyzed all the looks and glances and moments they'd shared? The thought gave Ezra pause; he wasn't sure he could make it through another Jackie spectacle (although this would be so much worse; Jackie had never held a candle to Aria).

And yet as often as he tried to convince himself of that- it almost seemed like that would be easier than this wrenching sort of unreachable love- he was unable to truly believe that. Because no one could fake those eternal, wrenching glances, or those passionate, vital kisses.

And even if they had always avoided each other's glances, or never kissed, there was one thing that gave Ezra hope even now. In all the movies people watch, in all the stories they hear, and all the books they read; whenever someone is walking away from the one they realized they were never meant to be with, they are strong. They are determined. They never look back.

But Aria looked back. Aria looked back, as he stared desperately after her, and for a moment she seemed so close to turning around and running back to him; and that was how Ezra was so sure she was positive about her decision.

Of course he would respect her choice for now; Ezra could never be the guy that made repeated, desperate attempts to win back 'his girl.' In the past, he'd simply stayed in his room more than usual for a week, then let Hardy drag him out to a wild party.

Obviously, this was different- Aria was different- but he still couldn't bring himself to be the kind of person who called her a dozen times, begging for another chance. And it was hardly because he had an overdose of pride.

It was because Ezra had a respect for Aria that went beyond wanting her back; if things worked out between them, as he desperately hoped they did, he wanted her to be as truly willing to take the risk as he already was.

Of course he would try to talk to her at school; they had up to an entire school together, and he couldn't imagine the possibility of things staying like this the entire time. He wondered where they would be in several months; together? Or, unimaginably, never seeing each other?

Ezra sighed as he pulled up at his building; he hurried to his apartment and turned on the shower, feeling tired and dirty after the long, dramatic day. He let the hot water pound over his aching shoulders, and could almost feel the stress melting away by the time he stepped out.

He got into bed, knowing he'd need to go to work early the next day; but he didn't mind nearly so much anymore, because he was no longer dreading seeing Aria. Now he was eager to- now, he was counting down the hours and minutes until he could see her again. Counting hours. Counting sheep. Numbers, numbers, sleep.

He soon drifted off into a deep sleep, dreaming about none other than the girl he was so desperately in love with- except it soon became clear that this was no dream. It was a memory, one both sublime and tragic to relive.

"I think I'd like to do writing and some marketing," Aria said thoughtfully, lowering her voice as they entered the large marketing room, which was filled with little cubicles. In each one was someone working at a desk, and more often than not, talking on the phone or in the middle of a computer program.

Ezra nodded as she continued. "Since I haven't graduated, though, I'm still more of an intern, and I'll be working with all the departments." He smiled, eyes sparkling. "Hm, I'm sure I could convince them that I need a little more help than everyone else." Aria grinned at him, quirking an eyebrow. "Could you now? Just how much power do you wield in this building?"

Ezra laughed. "Not much, to be honest. I've only been working here since I moved back this summer, but apparently there's a serious lack of people qualified to write articles on the fine arts in Rosewood," he chuckled. "And taking that into consideration, I'm pretty confident I could pull a few strings… only if you wanted, of course."

"Are you kidding?" Aria beamed up at him. "That'd be great, Ezra. It sounds like so much fun." He smiled back down at her beautiful face. "Great. Shall I show you my grand office, then?" Giggling quietly, she nodded, and he led her back down the hall to his tiny workspace.

"Okay, so I exaggerated a tiny bit when I called it grand… but I have only been working here a few weeks," Ezra chuckled. Aria pulled him further inside, grinning at him, and shut the door slowly. "So you work here almost every day?" she asked innocently, moving past him and sitting on his desk.

He raised an eyebrow at her, smiling slightly as he stepped closer to desk, closer to her. "Mondays through Saturdays," he confirmed, subconsciously tilting his head down closer to hers. Grinning, she reached up and casually rested her hands on his shoulders, clasping her fingers behind his neck.

"So… if I got the job-" "Which you will," he supplied, smiling, as Aria rolled her eyes with a grin, "-if I do, and I work full time, I'd see you almost every day?" "Mondays through Saturdays," he repeated quietly, both of them beginning to beam at the other.

"I think I could live with that," Aria teased softly, her bright hazel eyes gazing into Ezra's own blue ones. He loved the way she seemed to see right into him, past all his secrets, and still looked at him like he had turned her world around.

"Me too," he replied quietly. "Just a piece of friendly advice, Aria? When they offer you the job, I'd take it." She laughed, and he treasured the sound. "Don't worry, I plan on it," she smiled, and kissed him softly.

Needless to say, Ezra slept fitfully. If Hardy was still there, he'd have had a thing or two to say to Ezra in the morning about keeping his voice down. Ezra tossed and turned, smiled and sighed; and his sleeping thoughts were filled with images of a hazel-eyed girl and the forgotten taste of toffee lip gloss.

Aria

It wasn't the worst day of her life. She had several of those; the day her grandmother had passed away, the time her childhood pet pig had escaped and disappeared (before this tragic event, Pigtunia had always been a faithful friend). And, of course, the day she'd had to tell Ezra about her real age (plus all the aftermath of that- combined with how the next day had been when Mike found out about their father).

Compared to those days, this was not the worst. But it definitely skimmed that level; the only thing that kept this day from reaching that title was the fact that things were finally going better at home.

Mike had spoken to Ella last night; Ella had apparently spoken to Byron. The new consensus was that they would give it another shot. Mike and Aria's father had clearly expressed true regret for what he'd done, and it was obvious that despite being incredibly hurt by his actions, Ella couldn't help but forgive him.

She was in her car now, driving home; and she considered her parents' feelings for each other. Seeing her mother around Byron (especially before this; Ella had always seemed happier around her husband), it made Aria think of her own situation.

She couldn't deny that she was happier around Ezra; she couldn't convince herself that the world didn't seem a little brighter and there always seemed to be more to be smile about when she was with him. And she had to admit that right now, it seemed she had made the worst mistake of her life.

She had, hadn't she? She'd given up love, happiness, a chance at something- something Ezra had said he wanted with her. He'd told her right there that he felt the same way she did, that he wanted to try this amazing connection. He wanted to give them a shot, truly believing it could work out.

But Aria had to remind herself why she'd done it, why she'd chosen to give him up. It was because if they did decide to let this happen, if they allowed themselves to act on these feelings, there was a good chance Ezra could be fired- a good chance he could be arrested.

And Aria wouldn't let that happen to him; as much as she hated this sort of unfulfillable connection between them, she couldn't possibly take that chance with him. Yet simultaneously, she wondered how she could make it through this school year.

There was no way she could walk into that classroom every day in all these coming months. There was no way she could see him, hear him, be his student every day and pretend she was okay with everything being like this. She wasn't okay with it now; was she hoping to be after just a week of Ezra?

No, but there was something she could do. She definitely didn't want to do it, but it would help her get past this ridiculous unsureness. I just need time, Aria told herself for the hundred and thirty-sixth time. Time to get over him.

She pulled up in her driveway, her mind buzzing with the new possibility. But she was quickly distracted when she remembered what she was coming home to, and went through the front door with caution. For all she knew, her family was either re-bonding or shooting each other down at this very moment.

But to her surprise, they were doing neither. Aria found her mother making dinner (she thought it was a little early for that until she remembered how late she'd stayed at school), and Ella explained that Aria's father and brother were out having 'father-son bonding time.'

This piqued Aria's interest (and confusion), but when she asked, all Ella would tell her was that apparently the boys of the household had rediscovered their shared love of hockey. Happy to hear all was going smoothly and more than slightly amused at the mental image of them, Aria helped her mother finish dinner, then went to wait and read.

It wasn't long until Mike and Byron were home; they each seemed uncomfortable, but considerably less stiff next to each other than before. Byron kissed Ella's cheek, and Aria shared a raised eyebrow with her brother (Aria was smiling slightly, but Mike just seemed to find it a little odd).

Dinner went well; Aria and Ella had made a vegetarian lasagna, and both Mike and Byron made a polite fuss about how amazing it was. The conversation was surprisingly un-awkward to Aria- it almost reminded her of dinners back about a year ago, before her father's affair. Before their family had even begun this whole, awful falling-apart business.

They talked about family things (Mike's sports, Aria's writing, Ella's teaching) and even laughed together over Mike's jokes. Eventually, Ella began to clear the dishes, and Byron suggested they watch a movie together, making it a good old family night.

So Mike put in Rear Window, a 50's thriller about a man who thinks he witnesses a murder and attempts to solve the mystery. Aria had always loved the movie, and old films were a family favorite. And she really did enjoy herself that night, finally managing to get her mind off other problems for a little while.

By the time she was in her pajamas and turning her bedside light off, however, Aria's thoughts were once again on a certain adorable, lovesick young man. Images of his cool blue eyes and sweet side smile haunted her head until she finally drifted off, and even then they followed.

As she slid into the shotgun seat, Aria couldn't help but smile. "Anyway, Ezra, I'm an open book. You're the one who has the mysterious past and tons of family drama. Ask me anything; I couldn't lie to you." She grinned teasingly at him, but her pulse as racing.

She shouldn't have said that; what if he asked about college? She dreaded getting herself even deeper into this mess. By now, Aria had completely forgotten about her plan to tell him the truth, and it didn't seem that would happen anytime soon.

He smiled over at her as he started the car. "That's one of the things that amazes me about you," he said softly, but Aria cut him off with a grin. "Just one of the things? Do tell." He rolled his eyes, laughing, "All in due time. What I started to say before you so rudely cut me off was…" he shot her a mock glare and she giggled.

"…every time I look into your eyes, I can see so many feelings and thoughts. I feel like I know you so well, not only because we have so much in common, but also because every time I look in your beautiful eyes, I see so much passion and emotion there. I can tell you feel so strongly about what you love, and you seem like such an honest, genuine person." He smiled happily- obliviously- at her, and Aria's heart practically stopped.

Her throat was incredibly dry; she was in shock at Ezra's honest words. He doesn't know the half of it… what kind of horrible person am I? She reached over and held his free hand with both of her soft, small ones, still registering what he'd said.

How could she fall so ridiculously hard for someone so soon after meeting him? It was no longer a hope or a wonder; Aria knew for certain now that there was no one else for her, that all she wanted was to be Ezra Fitz's one and only.

It was clear from his words, touches, and glances that he felt the same; and the thought of that filled Aria with an indescribable happiness. She was dying to kiss him again, to be held and touched by him the way she knew he was craving too. But she couldn't; at least, not now.

She had to tell him the truth first, but that was so hard. The idea of admitting to Ezra that she'd been misleading him this whole time, that she was actually a minor, was awful to even think about. She didn't want to picture the shocked, hurt look in his gorgeous blue eyes or imagine his disgust toward her.

Realizing she'd been silent for too long, Aria looked up at Ezra. "I-" I love you. The words seemed to be stuck in her throat; she was ready to say them, and she wanted to, but something held her back. Biting her lip, Aria knew that if she told him this now, it would only hurt him more when she was forced to tell him the truth.

So instead, she edged closer to the driver's seat and squeezed his hand lightly. "Thank you," she whispered. "For everything. I can't believe I found someone as amazing as you, Ezra." She caught his grin, painted with a ridiculous happiness, out of the corner of her eye, and it made up for all the negative things in her life that day.

"Aria," he murmured, his soft voice making her heart jump into her throat. The way he said her name was breaking her heart; it was sweet and soft and careful and incredibly happy; and she was caught off guard by her desire to curl up in his arms.

"Aria, do you have any idea how lucky I am? You… You're the girl of my dreams. Hell, you're the girl of any guy's dreams- at least, any guy with common sense. You're the realest person I've ever met, if that makes sense. I feel like my entire life, I was searching for something without knowing it, and I finally found it. And Aria, it's you. It's you."

The entire time he spoke, Ezra's eyes were trained on the road in front of him, and the words spilled out faster and faster, as though he was embarrassed or worried about how she would respond. He paused as she registered his rushed words, then continued, or started to.

"Aria, I…" Say it, she silently begged him. Say you love me, please. I love you too, I love you too. But he never finished the sentence, a blush settling on his face. Aria couldn't stop herself from moving slightly away, disappointed.

Ezra

Tuesday morning came with a headache and tired eyes for Ezra Fitz. His temples were throbbing from a night of missed memories; and even after a cold shower and a hot tea, he was exhausted. And he would see Aria again today (which he supposed he would have to get used to, since it would likely continue for an entire school year).

It'll be fine, Ezra told himself. I have her first period, so it'll be over soon and I'll have the rest of the day to actually concentrate on my job. Just through today, Ezra. Get through today, and you'll have a much higher chance of getting through the rest of the year.

So he packed his professional-looking briefcase (which he liked because it made him feel less like a naïve young man among his new coworkers), and shrugged on his jacket. He could do this; it was just one day. Tomorrow would be just another day, and again and again for the rest of the school year.

He would face one day at a time. And maybe it wouldn't be so bad; at least he could see Aria, even if she ignored him all the time. And maybe she wasn't wrong to do that. After all, if she'd decided she was going to move on, maybe that meant he would be able to as well.

The truth was that he didn't want to. He wanted things to work out with her, or at least to be able to be around her. But there was no denying that anything between them would be very dangerous, and not just for Ezra. If it was discovered that they'd had a relationship, Aria and her whole family would probably be humiliated.

So maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to get over her if this continued. Maybe he'd finally stop dreaming about her. Maybe he could stop thinking about her 24/7.

Ezra headed out of his apartment and out to the parking lot. The weather hadn't changed much, and it was still sunny, but today there was a decided chill in the air. He got in his car, remembering how Aria had once casually slipped into the passenger seat, smiling at him.

He wished he could've sat there and just pictured her smile all day, but he did have a job now. So he started the car with a sigh and began his way to the high school. He turned up the radio on the way, and was surprised by the song that came on- Happiness, by the Fray.

Of course it made him think of Aria; it made him imagine her warm laugh and dry humor and sparkling eyes. Aria, with her silky chestnut hair and soft voice and small smile. With her gold-hazel irises and mini frame and tiny hands.

Ezra frowned slightly and did his best to push her out of his mind, although she was reluctant to go. He reached the school feeling defeated and tired, and unhopeful for the day to go well. What else could happen? Would his brother suddenly need more help, or would his mother or Jackie show up on his doorstep?

But as Ezra stepped into his classroom, he was met with an unexpected and completely welcome sight. Aria stood by his desk, looking timid and rueful and unsure. Ezra swallowed and smiled slightly at her, taking a step forward to place his briefcase on the desk.

"Can I help you with anything?" he asked, keeping his tone polite. But even he could hear the undertone; are you okay? Do you need something? What could I do for you, Aria? Is everything alright with your family?

Without words, Aria nodded. Without hesitation, she stepped closer. And just when Ezra's hope became to grow and bud, she held out an official-looking form. He took it, confused, and looked down at it in his grasp. Class Transfer Request Form, it read, with signature lines for a student, teacher, and principal.

He looked back up at her, realization sinking in "Aria, you don't have to do this. I can control my feelings, I can-" But she cut him off there, biting her lip hard. "I believe you. I'm just not altogether sure I can, Ezra."

Again, I am so so sorry for not updating! I feel terrible about it. My birthday's the day after tomorrow and I'll be pretty busy the next few days, but I promise I'll do my best to update both stories soon. Thanks for reading, and pleasepleaseplease review! I really want to know what you guys liked and disliked.

Kirleigh