Chapter 11

Alice had gone to sleep and Bella stayed in the living room. She stared into nothingness. She hated the feeling of being caught into a tornado and not knowing which side was up anymore. For six years, she had been standing on top of a ticking clock and now everything was exploding.

She sat a long time in the dimmed room, the silence of the night bringing little peace to her racing mind. She knew she was overtired and her heart was imploring for some rest, but she needed to figure some things out.

As she sat there alone, she didn't cry but every part of her was hurting. His words constantly popped into her head and it felt like tiny, piercing stabbings through her flesh.

I was the happiest I had ever been thanks to you. You were smart and funny and caring.

His words played tricks to her heart. Did he really mean it? Had he actually felt something for her? Did he love her?

You were the good in me.

Bella had even told Alice only today: he had never loved her as much as she had loved him. But, now, his words made everything so much more complicated. It wasn't black or white anymore but that stupid shade in between.

I proposed and the bliss I felt when you finally said yes.

It had been so much easier to believe that Edward had never loved her. It had all made sense then. Because someone who loved you would never lie to your face and use you and then leave the next morning to marry someone else without a glance back.

Suddenly, her body shook and she started gasping for air. She felt like she was choking. She curled up and wrapped her arms around her chest, her broken heart throbbing painfully against her ribcage. She squeezed harder, trying in vain to keep herself from falling apart.

"What do you mean: you understand what Edward did? That doesn't help your case, just so you know! You should not be defending your brother right now!"

Bella woke, startled by Alice's voice. She was on the phone with Jasper and her voice carried through the apartment. Bella sat up and noticed she was still on the couch. She glanced at the time. It was almost time to wake up for work.

"How can I marry you when I hate your family, Jasper?" Bella overheard, her stomach twisting with guilt. It was because of her fucked-up relationship that Alice was now fighting with the man she loved.

"I'm done talking! Don't call back!" Alice barked, her voice carrying through the walls, and hung up.

Bella made her way to Alice's room and knocked before opening the door. Alice was pacing furiously, her face flushed red.

"Hey," Bella said as she reached her.

"All the Cullens deserve to burn in hell!" Alice exhaled, slumping down on her bed, tears filling her eyes.

Bella sat next to her and wrapped one arm around her.

"Only some of them," Bella joked with a sad smile. "Not Jasper. He had no part in this whole mess."

"At first, I was just mad at what the family did to you and I didn't want to be related to them. But now, Jasper is defending Edward, saying that he owes him everything. That without his sacrifice, none of them would be where they are now. He even said that Edward basically saved their grandpa's life because he would've never gotten the best oncologist in the country if not for their money and that he would've died because of complications. And then Jasper said that he would've never gone to grad school and achieved his dream. Uhh, he's trying to make him sound like a saint! I hate it! Not after the way he treated you!" Alice growled.

"I'm sorry, Ali."

"That makes him just as bad as Edward and his parents!" Alice groaned. "His choices didn't only affect them. It affected you, too, Bella. It was your life they messed around with," Alice pressed, "And it affected Tony's life."

Bella's heart dropped as realization hit her. Tony. She felt a wrenching burn sizzling under her skin. The anger that had been brooding deep in her started to boil and steam.

They wrote the check. They wanted her to have an abortion so that they could save their fortune. They tried to kill her son.

The rage that exploded in her was monumental. She was seeing red. She needed to scream and kick and break something. In an instant, she was on her feet.

"Can you bring Tony to school?"

Alice frowned and looked at Bella in utter confusion.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"I need to go now. I need to talk to him. Do you know where he is?"

"He's at Jasper's. I can give you his address." She answered, finding a piece of paper to write it down. "Do you want me to come with you? I can kick him in the nuts for you."

Bella shook her head. "I need to do this on my own."

Bella drove into downtown, to Jasper's apartment. She had the piece of paper with the address in her hand. Her heart was pounding forcefully against her ribcage and her hands were shaking with fury.

She found the building number and she easily parked in front of the luxurious condo. She stepped out and she entered the building. The concierge at the front desk eyed her suspiciously.

"How can I help you?"

Bella was suddenly conscious that she was wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and she had slept in them too. She hadn't taken a shower, brushed her teeth nor brushed her hair. She probably looked like a crazy person.

"I'm here to see Jasper Cullen." She answered in a flat tone.

"What's your name?"

"Bella."

The man nodded and made a call.

"Good morning, Mr. Cullen. I have a woman named Bella downstairs… Oh ok. No problem. Thank you, sir."

"You can go. Tenth floor. Apartment 10 B."

Bella went into the elevator and felt her heart hammering loudly. She was suddenly nervous. Her fingers brushed her hair to flatten it and she wished she had some mints for her breath. When she reached the tenth floor, she walked gingerly to his door and rang the bell.

Jasper opened and he looked like a mess too.

"Bella," he gasped, his voice full of sorrow. "I'm so sorry. I -"

Bella shook her head. "I'm not mad at you."

He pinched his lips together and nodded.

"Come in."

Bella took a deep breath and entered the apartment. She immediately saw him. He was leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen, looking at her with intent. She met his eyes and they both stared silently.

"Uhm, I… I'll leave you two alone," Jasper muttered before disappearing.

Bella stood in the middle of the living room, her eyes glued to the man by the door. She was so mad at him, it burnt on the inside.

He swallowed hard and she noticed his Adam apple bob under his skin.

He finally pushed away from the wall and walked toward her. Her eyes followed him, her heart the only sound she could hear.

"Do you wanna sit?" He asked, his voice low and weak.

She realized he was nervous too.

Edward led her to the sofa and they sat with a distance between them.

She pulled the envelope out of her purse and handed it to him.

"I want you to read this."

"You wrote me a letter too?" He asked, surprised.

She shook her head and looked at him with difficulty.

His brows crunched up as he stared at the envelope. He looked back up at her and she narrowed her eyes, anger and pain melding in her chocolate eyes.

He opened the torn envelope and took the two pieces of paper from it. He looked at the check, confusion evident on his face. He examined it. He saw his name and his signature. He saw Bella's full name. He looked at the date and noticed it had been issued almost six years ago. His heart dropped and his head snapped up to look at her.

"I didn't write this."

She pursed her lips and closed her eyes. She was shaking with relief.

"Bella," he whispered, his voice so tender it broke her heart.

She shook her head vehemently. She opened her eyes and met his mournful gaze. She almost felt guilty for telling him about this.

"Read the note," she implored, her voice void of life.

He looked back down at his hand and read the other paper. He stared for too long. There were only four words but his eyes were glued to the tiny note forever. He seemed paralyzed and Bella panicked.

"Edward," she called out.

He rose stiffly and looked at her, his glazed eyes barely focusing on anything.

"I need a drink." He hissed and disappeared into the kitchen.

Her chest felt painfully tight as she watched him storm to kitchen. She looked down and saw the crumpled note next to her. The ache was unbearable. This little piece of paper was the worst torture in the world. Take care of it. These four words had caused her agony for six years.

Bella suddenly jumped, a loud sound of something shattering coming from the kitchen. She heard another boom and she quickly rose.

Jasper came running out of his room and stared at Bella with wide eyes.

"What is it?" he questioned, worried.

Another resonating bang came from the kitchen and Jasper rushed there. Bella followed and gawked at the scene in front of her. Jasper grabbed a frenetic Edward and held him firmly in his arms.

"Let me go!" Edward bellowed at his brother, fighting against his hold on him.

"Careful, Bella, there's broken glass everywhere," Jasper told Bella as he saw her approaching.

Bella blinked, suddenly seeing what surrounded her. She stilled. One of the walls was stained with alcohol and glass was shattered all over the floor. She exhaled, her breath shaky, and looked at Edward. The veins on his neck and forehead popped out with distress and his eyes looked wild. He seemed in so much pain. The chaos around them matched the turmoil inside of her.

She could do nothing to resist the tears that gushed out of her. She sobbed, her whole body quivering. She loathed what was happening to her, to Edward, to Jasper and Alice, to Tony. She wondered how this misery had become her life. What had she done to deserve so much heartache?

She felt two warm arms wrap around her and she buried her face into his chest. This felt so good and so wrong and so intense. Edward squeezed her gently, soothing her the best he could as she wept in his arms.

"I'm sorry, baby. It's all my fault. I never wanted any of this to happen." Edward professed, his mouth brushing her forehead. "I'm so sorry for everything."

She clutched his shirt tightly. His hold on her felt so comforting and she let herself go, letting everything out at last. He didn't try to hold in his own tears either, and they both cried in the middle of the kitchen, broken glass and stained walls surrounding them, as they hugged each other closely.

"I love you, Bella."

The words sent a jolt to Bella's heart and she was pushing away from him in a flash. She wiped her tears as she shook her head with defiance. These were the words that made everything more painful. She refused to believe his words.

"I can't," was all she could manage to utter before turning her back to him and leaving.

...

So, yeah... Can't wait to hear what you guys think about this...