I'm… ALIVE! *rises from the grave*

I know I know, it's been so long, but now I'm back and ready to start contributing to the fanfic world once again. I just got back from a Slovak concert, and it inspired this next fanfic. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: disclaim disclaim~


The Horror of the Opera

"Waaahhhh this is so wonderful!~" I exclaimed as I took in the sight before me. Feathers swayed on enormous hats, petticoats were hefted, high heels clacked on the cobblestones, and pocket watches swayed on silver and gold chains.

Hundreds of people, festooned with the finer things in life, swarmed towards the large oak double doors of a grand hall. Tonight there was to be some sort of play, and it seemed as if every important figure on the island were in attendance.

"Alright Luffy, come here." I said and beckoned him over to an empty alleyway. He pouted as he slouched over to me, tugging at his collar.

"Why do I have to dress up?"

"Because it's a play, baka. People dress up when they go to things like this."

"Why is it just the two of us?"

"Because I only pick pocketed two tickets Luffy. And besides, we need some alone time. It's been months since it was just the two of us." I couldn't help the blush that started to creep up my face, and hid my face behind my hair as I searched through my purse. "Ah, found them!"

Trying not to spill the contents, I pulled two satin ball masks from my purse. Holding mine between my teeth, I spun Luffy around and began to tie the other one onto his face.

"What's this for?"

"So they don't recognize our faces. Really, you shouldn't even have had to ask that. Good thing wearing masks to events like these isn't uncommon, otherwise we wouldn't be able to get in." I said through the mask in my teeth. Tying a knot I finished his and quickly did mine, then took one last survey of the both of us to make sure we were presentable.

Luffy was simply in a traditional black and white suit with a coat tail. It had taken a lot of persuasion and even a bribe involving meat, but I had convinced him to leave his straw hat under the crew's guard on the ship. In place of his tattered old treasure was a top hat, which I straightened because Luffy had let it fall askew. With the mask he looked like a refined gentleman, not the rough and scruffy pirate that the marines would be keeping an eye out for.

As for myself I was decked out in a strapless white evening gown, which hugged my curves tightly before flaring out around my ankles. I chose to leave my long hair down, not wanting to put it up because I was still proud that I had managed to grow it out so long. Around my neck was a heavy diamond necklace, with matching diamond earrings, but they were going straight back into the treasure chest under my bed once this event was over.

"I think we're all set… oh! Here, you'll have to give these to the doorman." I said to Luffy, handing him the two pilfered tickets.

"Why?"

"What's with all the questions? Geez, because it would look odd if I did it. After all, tonight I'm just arm candy." I said with a smirk and grabbing his arm, yanked him into the throng of people towards the double doors.

As we approached the line slowed as a man stopped the fancily clad couples to check their tickets and point them in the right direction. Finally it was our turn, and Luffy handed over the tickets without uttering a word (thank god). The man looked at our masks questioningly but didn't say anything otherwise.

"Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Walderdorf. You want to take the stairs to the right and find box C. Please enjoy the show." He said, handing the tickets back to Luffy. I was still cringing over our fake last name.

"Richard, Tiffany?" said a voice from behind us. Me and Luffy turned around to see a robust man looking at us questioningly from behind his ridiculously small spectacles. Obviously this man knew the Walderdorf's since he had called them by their first names. My mind instantly switched into lie mode.

"Sorry, I think you have the wrong Walderdorf's…" I laughed weakly, not even believing myself. Who the hell else has the name Walderdorf? But it was too late now, so I grabbed Luffy and dragged him up the right staircase, not bothering to look back at the man.

"Whew, that was a close one." I said, panting as we searched for box C. It wasn't long before we found it and ducked inside, closing the door securely behind us.

As Luffy settled into one of the padded chairs I leaned over the railing, taking in the view. People were quickly filling the rows of seats in front of the curtained stage, and I could spot other people milling around in box seats just like ours on the upper levels above the lesser rich, their binoculars already out and waiting.

"Box seats… I sure do know how to pick 'em! You're welcome~" I said as I took my seat beside Luffy.

"I'm bored. Do they feed you here?" He asked, already fidgeting in his seat. I had known this would happen, so I produced a drumstick from my purse.

"Make it last," I cautioned, but when I blinked it was already gone, down into the black abyss that is Luffy's gullet.

"Just please try and watch the show," I sighed, wiping the saliva off my hand.

It was then that the lights dimmed, and the band began to softly play. I drew my chair closer to the edge, bringing the binoculars I brought close to my face, and just in time too as the curtains began to rise and the show began to start.

Having stolen the tickets, the only thing I knew about the play was that it was called:

La Triumphe des Marines.

I had no idea what to expect as actors in marine costumes flooded the stage. They were singing in a language I couldn't understand, but from their exaggerated actions I could surmise what was going on. It looked like they were getting ready for battle, and two captains kept having an argument. It might have just been my imagination, but one looked suspiciously like Garp, but I didn't mention my suspicion to Luffy.

It was nearing the end of this first act that I felt warmth near my hand, and then Luffy's hand slip into mine. An electric current ran through my body, and my breathing quickened as I remembered that me and Luffy were completely alone. In a box. And he just made a move. Slightly lowering my binoculars I turned my head towards Luffy, my heart racing like the wind. My eyes landed onto his face… and I realized he was asleep.

His head lolled back as his mouth gaped open, drool leaking out. I could now discern his snores over the sound of the singing and orchestra, and feel the vibration through our linked hands.

I sighed, knowing I was already asking a lot of Luffy tonight. At least he had stopped fidgeting and whining about food. I had entertained the thought that maybe something exciting would happen tonight, but with Luffy nothing ever went as planned. Squeezing his hand I turned back to the show as the curtain slowly closed over the first act.

In the second act the play got more intense. I could make out that the marines were chasing after some pirates, and they had almost closed in on them. Plus there was still the dispute going on between the captain marine and his superior's, and a love story between the vice-captain and one of her subordinate's.

As the lookout cried out something I assumed meant, "enemy ship spotted!" I clutched Luffy's rubber hand, still not waking him up. I was excited to see who the enemy pirates were, heck it was probably someone we knew or had fought before.

The band struck up an ominous tone as the enemy ship was wheeled out onto the stage…

and I was staring at a poor wooden duplicate of the Thousand Sunny.

My jaw dropped to the floor in shock. It had never even occurred to me that our crew would make an appearance in this play. Well, in any sort of play to be honest.

Just then on the pretend deck of Sunny appeared a pretend straw hat crew. I had expected them to look nothing like any of us, but was surprised when the actors were accurately represented. Luffy had the straw hat, sandals, and open cardigan, and they even remembered to put a scar on his cheek and chest. The only thing that was off was that in place of Chopper they had a live tanuki, which was close enough anyway. I couldn't help but smile smugly at my sexy double.

The two enemies conversed to each other through song, and I was having a grand time watching it until Robin's double clung to Franky's side in fear. Robin would never show any fear, but it unsettled me that they had paired her with him. Did they know about their relationship? I started to get nervous as I watched my double, waiting to see if she would soon cling to the Luffy double. But instead of walking towards Luffy, she went to the right and threw herself desperately into the arms of none other than Zoro.

"NNNNAAAAANNNNNIIIIIII?"

My scream was so loud it attracted many faces towards our box, and I shrank down behind the banister. It had even managed to wake Luffy up from his dead sleep, and he was groggily rubbing his eyes and looking around.

"Whassup? I miss somethin'?"

"Eww. Blurgh. Blaaahhhh…" I shuddered as I continued to spy on my double.

"Oh look, it's us!" Said Luffy as he pointed toward the stage. "What are you doing with Zoro? It's kind of like what you were doing to me the time that sea king-"

"Shut it." I said as I ground my foot into his face.

From my standing position I had a good view of the crowd below, and for the first time I noticed the marines that were sneaking through the aisles, peering into people's faces with flashlights.

"This isn't good, the marines are here." I said turning to Luffy who was rubbing his nose. "We should go. Somehow I don't want to see how this play turns out."

But as me and Luffy headed towards the door there was a knock on the door, and a voice said:

"This is the marines! We received an anonymous tip that there were pirate impostors at this play tonight. Please let us in so we can inspect your faces and you can continue viewing the rest of the show in peace!"

"Damn fat man," I swore, remembering the guy from the door. There was only one escape route left. I didn't like it, but I knew it had to be done.

"Luffy, the chandelier." I said, standing near the railing.

"Okay!" He grinned crazily, scooping me up bridal style and shooting an arm out towards the crystal chandelier, and before I even had time to utter a "kyaa" we were swinging over the shocked faces of an entire opera house, the light thrown from the crystals glinting off their glasses and jewels.

"STOP THEM!" I heard a marine yell as we landed in another box seat directly opposite from ours.

"Excuse us!" I shouted to the shocked occupants as Luffy set me down and we bolted out the door.

"This damn dress!" I cursed as I fell behind Luffy. He turned around and came back, and before I could protest ripped the dress a slit that reached my hips.

"That's better," he grinned, and I couldn't tell if he was being perverted or not.

We ran until we reached the marble staircase where we entered, only to find it teeming with marines, waiting to ambush us.

"What do we do now?" I hissed as we hid behind a pillar.

"This!" Luffy replied as he grabbed my hand and yanked us out into full view.

"IT'S THEM!"

Without slowing Luffy ran right towards the stairs and started sliding down the polished banister, dragging me right along with him.

"This is crazy!~" I screamed as shots were fired at us, but they always hit somewhat behind us as we were sliding at an amazing speed now. Luffy was laughing insanely. When we reached the bottom he inflated into a ball, bowling over the marines blocking the doors and making a cushion for me to hit as I flew off the end of the railing.

The entire world was spinning, but I was aware of Luffy's strong arms as they picked me up and carried me out of the brightly lit opera house and into the night, leaping from rooftop to rooftop as we left the cries of the marines behind.


"Well that was a disaster," I sighed as I leaned back against the shingles of the roof top we were resting on, Luffy's warm body warding off the chill of the night due to my "altered" dress.

"I thought it was fun." Luffy grinned.

"Of course you did, it involved violence and near death experiences."

"Plus it was just you and me," said Luffy. "When I'm alone with you exciting things happen."

"I think you're the one "exciting" things happen to, and I just get stuck with you." I responded, playing with his tail coat.

"Buggy, Eneru, Drum Island-"

"Sanji was there." I pointed out, but still surprised he was able to come up with case examples of our solo adventures together.

"He doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"Because I was only thinking about you."

My fingers stopped their fiddling, but I could feel the blood move to my face.

"Well I guess… even if it is dangerous… as long as I'm with you it'll be okay." I stammered, the lovey sentence having a hard time coming out.

Without warning Luffy swooped down and placed a quick kiss on my lips before leaping onto the next roof, heading back towards the ship.

"Don't leave me behind baka!" I yelled chasing after him, the sound of his laughter my guide as we raced above the crowded rooftops of the night city.

La Fin


Wow, that was a long one. But it needed to be done, I wasn't going to be half assed about this.

I don't dislike the Nami Zoro pairing, but since this is a fic where she's with Luffy, and Nami and Zoro have that love hate relationship, I thought it'd be funny to throw that bit in :)

Review! I need them~