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AN: This monster of a chapter would never have existed in this form, without the help of an amazing person. Thank you Bellebiter, for your encouragement, support, and your amazing editing skills.
The Protector
Chapter Twelve
EPOV
My run the next morning allows me to clear the jumble of thoughts in my head and focus on the most important things I want to know. I need to study the map in greater depth; I realize there were many details I missed yesterday. My main goal, however, is to finally get some answers about Jasper – his mission, his whereabouts, and his abilities.
We were never given any information about Jasper, or told of what happened to him; one day, he left for his mission – and then he simply never came back. There was no announcement, no official mourning… nothing. Emmett and I had both been sent back, to meet with our parents and Alice, for a brief remembrance service on the sixth month anniversary of his disappearance; the official service would not be until he had been missing for a year. At that time, his name would be chiseled into part of the stone wall of the city.
My parents had been stoic, as our society expected them to be. Alice was visibly upset, and Emmett and I stood silent and somber as our parents placed a stone with his name on it under a tree in their backyard. As a cadet, I wasn't in a position to ask questions or demand answers; but since becoming a Ranger, I've realized how little we are told – and how much information is kept from us.
When I enter the archives room later that morning, I am determined to finally get some answers from Hunter. My resolve must show on my face, because Hunter indicates the chair across the table from him and simply says, "Ask."
"Jasper," I start. "I want to know what the purpose of his mission was – where he was sent, and where he is now. I also want to know about his special abilities – because every Ranger I know of has something that is not quite normal about them."
When I'm finished speaking, I lean back in my chair, folding my arms across my chest– almost daring him not to answer me.
"Relax, Edward," he laughs, shaking his head. "I told you I would answer your questions, and I will. So, first of all: the mission."
"About four years ago, the eighteeners doing their scouting sweeps started reporting brief flashes of light on the horizon of the Wastelands, close to where the green glow starts. It became pretty common for them to see the lights; I bet you probably saw some, too."
I nod my head, thinking about the flash I thought I saw on our last scouting trip.
"The officers finally decided we needed to know more about what was going on out there. Jasper had completed eighteen months of training, and was as prepared as I could make him for a trip outside the valley. He was instructed to use the route across the canyon and visit Korinth first, where he could check on their condition and resupply. Then he was to travel the length of the Ares Vallis to where it cuts through the cliff walls, and proceed through the Wastelands to the edge of the glow – which turns out to be a type of fog that glows in the sunlight."
"If he could get the information he needed there, he was to return home. If not, he had permission to cross the boundary – but to spend no more than six hours inside the fog – before heading back."
Hunter spreads the map over the table between us as he traces the trail from our valley to Korinth. Beginning at our wall, it runs south towards the cliffs; before reaching them, however, it turns left, and heads almost due east until it reaches the canyon. After descending, the route zig-zags, keeping close to the water sources, before climbing the opposite canyon wall to arrive outside the valley. Just before reaching the wall, a side trail turns off to the right and heads south down the canyon, towards the break in the cliffs.
His finger points to underground water sources that are located along this route, and he explains that part of Jasper's mission was to check these and make sure the cairns that mark them were still in place.
He also tells me that although climbing down the cliffs is doable, it is too time consuming and dangerous; and so the canyon is usually used to enter the Wastelands – because of its proximity to water sources, and its relative ease of traversing. As his finger continues to trace the trail through the break in the cliffs and out onto the flat land beyond it, he points out tall rock formations that can be climbed and used for safe camping, as well as a few scattered possible water sources.
Everything is labeled neatly and drawn in great detail. Underneath the word Wastelands, I notice 'Oceanos' in smaller print. When I ask Hunter what that means, he drags over one of the larger books of maps that I have yet to look at. Carefully, he turns the pages until he finds what he is looking for.
"This should help," he explains, laying the open book alongside the map we are studying. I realize I am looking at an exact copy of our map – except where the cliffs begin, there is now water instead of dry land. In fact, the landmass is surrounded by water… and most of the interior is covered in snow.
"It's called an island," he explains, indicating the whole of the land. "Completely surrounded by ocean, and covered in a sheet of snow and ice deep enough to reach all but the very tops of the mountains; it was located on the coldest part of our planet, and isolated from most of the other inhabited lands – which is why it survived the worst of the snow on Olympus is all that is left of the icepack."
Comparing the two maps leaves me speechless, and I shake my head in wonder at the changes between the two. When he thinks I've seen enough, Hunter closes the old book and turns back to the newer map.
"Back to Jasper. He was a quick learner, like you. An excellent marksman with the bow; he handled the whip like it was an extension of his arm. The thing that made him special, though, was his ability to sense emotions and feelings. He always knew when someone was angry or upset or lying, and he could say and do just the right thing to diffuse a situation before it escalated."
"Surprisingly, his ability also worked on animals. He once told me the Yippers had a fierce desire to survive, and that they felt an instinctive, almost tribal loyalty to their pack. We were training outside the wall one day, when we surprised a lone Yipper that had become separated from its pack. He said it was broadcasting intense feelings of fear; and, because he didn't want to kill it, he made it feel so exhausted that it fell asleep even as we watched. I've never known anyone able to do that before."
I can hear the fondness in his voice as he talks about my brother; it makes me wish I had been able to spend more time with Jasper before he left. As cadets, our days were so regimented that we rarely interacted with other age groups. Emmett and I did spend time with him at the socials after we became seventeeners, but we never spoke of anything personal, and he never discussed being a Ranger. I remember him being very popular with the women, and spending much of the evenings dancing with many of the ladies in attendance. Strangely, I don't remember him leaving with anyone in particular.
"Do you know where Jasper is now?" My question breaks the silence that has fallen over both of us.
"No, not really. We know he made it to Korinth, because I've been there since he left. I've seen some of the cairns he repaired along the trail, so I know he probably made it into the Wastelands."
"What do you think happened then?"
Sighing and absent-mindedly rubbing his fingers over his scars, he finally looks at me in defeat. "Ok," he begins. "I think he reached the area where the green fog starts; and, because he didn't find the answers he was looking for, I think he went in. The fog is toxic, almost pure poison. Even the air supporting it is so polluted that it will burn your skin and destroy your lungs. We have special goggles and breathing masks that will help, somewhat; but if you don't get out in time, it will kill you. I can only hope that the Thaay found him in time, and that he's still with them."
"So they are actually out there? The Thaay are real, and somewhere in the Wastelands beyond the green glow?"
"What did you think?" he asks, surprised.
"I don't know. All my life I've heard about the Thaay, and how terrible they were and are. But we've never seen them, and they've never done anything to us. We don't even know what they look like; and, to be honest, I've begun to doubt that they actually exist. Sometimes I think they are just a made-up story to justify the way our society is managed and organized."
I can tell my outburst has surprised him. In fact, I'm a little surprised by what I've just said myself; but I suddenly realize I have been having those thoughts and doubts a lot lately.
Hunter's voice drops to almost a whisper when he finally answers me. "You can say anything you want to me in private, Edward, but be careful everywhere else. Now is just not the time. To answer your question: yes, there are people living beyond the green fog; and while they may not be exactly like the Thaay we've been taught to fear all our lives, they are different."
He turns back to the map, pointing out a few more things he thinks I should know – and effectively ending our discussion of the Thaay. When he asks me if I have any more questions, I can only think of one. I ask him if he knows where Bella is.
Once again, I can tell that I've surprised him with my question.
"Does this have anything to do with what I said about her the day your shield appeared?"
"Some," I nod.
"I owe you an apology for that day, and for the week leading up to it. I know what I said and did was harsh; but you had been suppressing your abilities for so long, and we were afraid we could never get you to release them. I hope you know I'm sorry for what I said."
Before I can answer, he stands, telling me he's hungry and reminding me to visit my parents – adding that he will see me that evening at the social. He's gone before I have a chance to ask for more information about Bella, and just whom he was referring to when he said, 'we' were afraid that I would not learn to use my abilities.
I enjoy the afternoon with my family. Apparently, they knew I was coming, and arranged for Alice to be excused from her duties so she could join us. My mother keeps my plate full; urging me to eat more, complaining that I am too thin. Even Father remarks on my changed appearance. I knew the running and constant training had altered my body, but I had not realized it was so noticeable. It feels good to have their attention and support.
Alice is her usual self, entertaining us with stories about her latest work assignment at the loom buildings. She has almost another month in her training rotation there before she moves on to her next assignment, which will be in the engineering department. I can tell she isn't looking forward to changing, so I describe to her how fascinated I was with the intricacies of our water system when Emmett and I did our rotation there. She seems more excited after we talk.
At thirteen, she is still living at home, spending a couple of hours in the classroom each day before heading to her current assignment. Each assignment lasts for approximately three months, before rotating to a new one. By the time she is fifteen, she will have trained in all the different occupations of our valley – except, of course, the weapons and strategy training, which is only for future Protectors. She will also never be sent outside the valley walls.
When Alice does turn fifteen, she can chose several areas she is most interested in to receive advanced training and mentoring. At seventeen, she will make her final selection, and work in that area until she marries. That is also the age at which she can chose to move into a small apartment in the city, if she wants, following her debut on Oath Night.
After lunch, Father and I take a walk through his bee hives, and he asks some general questions about my weapons training. He mentions that Emmett has recently visited, and that he'd asked about me. He also says that Emmett and Rose seem very happy. We don't discuss anything specific about my Ranger assignment, and I'm thankful to forget about everything for a short time. When I leave, Mother hugs me and tells me to visit again soon, before handing me a package of 'snacks' to eat on my way back to the barracks.
I'm in such a relaxed and happy mood that I decide I will attend the social that evening, even though I have not been to one since Oath Week; so I spend what's left of the afternoon resting and preparing.
A couple of hours later – showered, shaved, and in a clean uniform – I enter the social hall, only to find the party already started. I can tell several of my friends are surprised to see me, but no one says anything about my previous absences. Emmett soon finds me; and even though I can tell he is nervous about something, he is hiding it well. Rose joins us, and after we visit for awhile, he takes her out to the dance floor – muttering that we'll talk some more later.
I ask several women to dance with me; and, for the next few hours or so, I genuinely enjoy myself. I visit with friends, drink some honeyed wine, and manage to relax. Hunter is there with Kate. At one point, I pull her away from him to dance with her. We both laugh at his scowl, but it is obvious he is enjoying himself, and they are both very happy. When he finally pulls her away from me, I tell them how pleased I am for them, and wish them good luck. They leave hand-in-hand soon afterwards.
When the room is starting to empty, I catch Emmett looking at me from the refreshments table. I wander over, grabbing a plate and filling it with a variety of sweets, before joining him at a small corner table.
"Officer Emmett," I greet him, setting my plate down.
"Ranger Edward," he replies with a laugh. He glances casually around the room, and I know he is checking to make sure we cannot be overheard. I take a bite of my food, waiting for him to start the conversation.
"Something big is going on," he finally says. "I haven't been told anything, but I've heard rumors about the Thaay and Jasper and a traitor. I caught a couple of the officers whispering in the hall outside our rooms, but they stopped as soon as they noticed me. I thought maybe you might have been told something."
"Hunter told me a little about Jasper's mission. He believes he is with the Thaay; but I haven't heard anything about a traitor."
I hear Emmett grunt in reply, and we both eat a little more before he begins speaking again.
"I've spent most of my life wanting to be an officer. I planned to take my Oath, serve my community, marry Rose and have lots of kids; but nothing is what I thought it would be, Edward. There is something they are keeping from us, some secret that we aren't suppose to know." He rubs his hands over his face, and I can hear the frustration in his voice.
I consider all I've learned about our world and our history, but I'm not sure how much I should share with Emmett. I'm not sure how much the new officers are told. Before I can say anything, Rose sits down beside us. She sets Emmett's empty plate to one side, and then begins to rub his neck with one hand.
"Your head still hurting, hun?" she asks.
"Yeah… oh, that feels good, Rose. Don't stop."
She laughs, and reaches up with both hands to begin massaging his neck and shoulders. Emmett uses his fingers to rub his temples, and it is obvious he is in some pain.
"When did this start?" I ask, watching him closely.
"Six or eight weeks ago," he mumbles. "Feels like a vise squeezing my head; and sometimes there's a loud buzzing in my ears."
I know the exact feeling he is describing. It's what I felt at times when I was suppressing my abilities, before I started using my shield and my mental awareness regularly. When I consider that Jasper and I both have some type of talent, it should not be surprising that Emmett would, too. But Emmett has never shown any ability before, and has never really asked me about mine, either. I make the decision to talk to Hunter first, before I say anything to him.
Standing, I urge him to go to the infirmary and talk to Dr. Banner. He agrees, telling me he will soon.
"Make him go, Rose," I tell her, before turning away to leave.
"I will… Edward."
Something about the way she says my name makes me turn back around, and I find her staring at me with the strangest look on her face. I realize, suddenly, that she knows; she knows what is going on with Emmett. Before I can say anything, though, she takes his hand, laughing as she pulls him to his feet, telling him it's time for bed.
"Good night," she whispers, as they leave.
There is just enough light from our smaller moon, making its way quickly across the sky, to find the path through the darkened courtyard to the Ranger barracks. My thoughts are on Emmett, and what could be happening to him – when my shield suddenly snaps into place, without me consciously thinking about it. My senses on alert, I scan the darkness around me to see what could be causing this feeling of alarm. A dark figure detaches itself from an even darker, shadowed corner and approaches me.
It steps forward into the moonlight – and the breath I've been holding leaves me with a great whoosh, because it is Bella standing there facing me: a tentative smile on her lips, as she tilts her head to look up at me. I'm not even aware that I've crossed the space between us, before my arms are wrapped around her, and I've already enclosed both of us, safe within my shield.
We stand there, quiet, her arms around my waist, and her head against my chest, while I hold her up against me – draped around her shoulders, chin resting on the top of her head. I've held Bella before – my hand on her hip, her hand in mine – when we danced together at the socials last year. I was still a cadet, however, so we had to leave a 'respectable distance' between us. The intensity of being this close, of finally being able to feel all of her against me, is indescribable. She feels like happiness. She feels like home.
Bella pulls me closer to her, running her hands up and down my back. "I missed you," she whispers softly. "So very, very much."
"Oh, Bella, I've missed you, too. During all the training, the running, the studying… you've always been there in the back of my mind. So many things have happened, so many things I've learned, so many things I've wanted to share with you."
I lift my head slightly and place a soft, gentle kiss on her forehead. "Is this okay?"
"Yes," she sighs.
"And is this okay?" I question, leaving another soft kiss on the top of her head.
"Oh, yes."
"Good," I whisper, as I leave more soft kisses on her hair. She's left it down, and it falls in soft curls down her back. It's beautiful in the moonlight; soft and shiny when I run my fingers through it. "Because I've always wanted to do that."
"And now you can. There are no disapproving Matrons to stop us," she giggles. I can feel her breath, warm on my chest.
"Well then, in that case, I can do this, too," I tease, running my hands along her back from her shoulders to her hips. "And maybe I can do this, as well," I repeat, as I kiss my way along her neck to a spot behind her ear. That makes her shiver against me. Her skin is warm and soft, and smells faintly of herbs in the soap we use.
"And finally, finally, maybe I can do this?" My hands move from her hips to the sides of her face, tilting her head, so that our eyes meet… mine seeking permission, hers warm and accepting… before I lean down and place my lips against hers.
Her lips are soft and full, our first kiss everything that I hoped it would be. Hesitant at first, then hungry and desperate, I move my hands from her face to grasp her hips and pull her tight against me. Her hands are on the back of my neck, pulling my face closer to her, as she stands on tip-toe to reach me. My desire for her is obvious; I can tell she feels the same way when she begins to slowly rub against me.
She pulls away first, taking a step back as we both breathe heavily. Then her arms are around me again, hugging me closer to her. "Oh, Edward, Edward," she sighs into my chest.
I have so many questions I want to ask her. Why didn't she come to the socials? Where she has been? Why didn't she send a note, or a least try to get in touch with me? But I don't want to spoil this moment we are sharing; she feels so good against me, and I don't want it to end.
I remember Hunter's words from yesterday: about life being too short and unpredictable to waste; about finding happiness and enjoyment when we can. Perhaps, this is what he was trying to tell me. Perhaps, I need to stop worrying about the past and the future, and just accept the present I have now.
"Come to my room, spend the night with me." I kiss my way along the side of her face, ending with another kiss on her mouth. This one is softer, sweeter, full of the longing I have for her. "Please, Bella. You've always known how much I've wanted this, wanted you – and I know you do, too."
I take her hands in mine, and begin leading her towards the barracks' door; but she pulls back, shaking her head and taking a step away from me. "Bella… ?"
She is saying something, but I don't hear her words, because I've just realized that something about Bella's hands feels very wrong. They are no longer as smooth and soft as I remember them from our dances last year. Gripping them tighter, I pull her further into the middle of the courtyard. The moon is almost overhead now, its light bright enough to see the thick, rough calluses on the palms and tips of her fingers, and the small nicks and cuts that I'd felt along the sides. When I flip her arm over to look closer, I notice a discolored area of raw skin on the inside of her left forearm. It looks like it has been scraped, and a purple bruise surrounds the inflamed area.
"Who did this to you?" I demand. "Is someone hurting you? Tell me what is going on, Bella. Where have you been?" My hands tighten on her wrists, and I'm frustrated and angry. I know she can hear it in my voice.
"Edward, stop." She winces in pain when she tries to pull her hands away.
I drop them quickly, muttering "Sorry, sorry."
"The arm was just an accident at work. One of the belts that controls the shuttles on a loom broke, and the end caught me before I could get out of the way. The calluses are from threading the looms, over and over. No one is hurting me. Nothing is going on. Everything is fine."
Her reason makes sense, but I'm still not convinced. I nod my head, though, letting her know I accept her explanation. She's still backing away from me when I try to approach her again.
"Bella… ?"
"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so, so sorry. I can't stay. I… I know I shouldn't have come, but I had to see you. No matter what you must think, I have missed you. Please believe me."
Her voice hitches, and she sounds so very sad. Moonlight washes over her again, and I can see tears on her cheeks.
Bella steps forward once more, wrapping her arms around me and resting her head on my chest. "You are so special to so many, many people. Always taking care of someone else, always protecting those you love; even when we were children, playing on the fort in your backyard. You told me then you would always protect me, and I knew you would. Whatever happens, whatever you hear, I want you to know… I need you to know… that I care deeply for you. I always have, and I always will."
She pulls away then, and before I can move or reply, she is gone. Blending into the shadows, so quickly and quietly, that the only proof of her presence is a soft, faintly lingering "Goodbye, Edward."
And at that, the courtyard is quiet once more – just the stars, and the quickly disappearing moon to keep me company. When I can stand there no longer, I slowly make my way back to my room. Later, when I'm lying in bed – my mind whirling from all I've learned today – it occurs to me that Bella's chosen assignment wasn't in the loom buildings; it was in the orchards. She told me once that she loved being outdoors. That planting, caring for and harvesting the trees had made her happy.
If what she told me about the accident is true, then what is she doing in the loom buildings? If her explanation is a lie, then what happened to cause the injury to her arm and the calluses on her hands?
Rubbing my hands over my face, I cover a yawn, realizing that I'm too tired to think rationally. My last thought, as I fall asleep, is that Bella's hands and fingers have the same rough calluses as mine.
AN: Thank you, readers, for your wonderful comments. If you are coming to San Diego for TFMU, I hope to meet you there.
