Xander was fairly miserable. Between the chem test (which he had stayed up most of the night studying for, which was hard without Willow's help), the tons of caffeine in his system from all of the studying (and just plain nervousness over the test), and everything going on with him and Buffy (or the illicit portions, at any rate), things were not looking great for the Xan-Man. And with Buffy seemingly nowhere to be found this morning to help ease his tension (or, at least, his erection), it probably should have come as no surprise that he literally jumped a good two feet in the air when Willow tapped on his shoulder. ""GAHHH!" After regaining his composure, Xander said, "Jeez Will, you could give a guy a heart attack like that!"

"Sorry," she answered apologetically. "I didn't realize you were that hopped up on caffeine."

"Fifteen percent of my grade, Will," declared Xander. "That's make or break territory for me."

Willow nodded in agreement, since the Fluke had kinda put the kibosh on their customary study sessions, and that meant Xander was now struggling even more than in the preceding 11-and-a-half years of school. "Well, can I talk to you about something for a minute?"

"Sure," he answered with his usual smile. Just don't be about Buffy, just don't be about Buffy, PLEASE don't be about Buffy….

"It's about Buffy."

Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap, thought Xander as his smile became a little more nervous. "Why, what's up?"

"Well, we were talking during our study session last night, and she admitted that she likes you."

Xander breathed a sigh of relief. "Uh, Will, I kinda figured that out about two years ago. You know, when she moved here and started saving our lives on a daily basis?"

"Not that way, silly," replied Willow as she swatted his arm lightly. "In the, 'Yes, I'll go to the Spring Fling with you,' way."

"Oh!" exclaimed Xander as he started to blush. "Yeah, that." Now grinning with a slightly far-off look, he added, "Isn't it great?"

"Yeah," declared Willow, sounding as if Xander had kicked the puppy she didn't actually own. "Tons of fun."

"What's wrong, Will?" asked Xander, knowing that something was definitely up. "You're not happy?"

"I guess," she said. "It's just that….." I still love you, you big jerk, even if I love Oz more. "…what if I end up as the third wheel? I don't wanna lose my two best friends because they're busy with the smoochies and everything."

"I hear that Oz makes a great fourth wheel," answered Xander encouragingly.

As if on cue, Buffy walked up to her friends, feeling the benefits of her new care-reduced lifestyle. "Hey guys, what's up?" However, with Xander pretty happy to see her and Willow looking rather depressed, Buffy had a pretty good idea. And when the redhead nodded, she received her confirmation. "Are you sure, Will?"

"Yes," replied Willow, even if her heart was telling her otherwise, and her gut was screaming, "No!"

"Thanks, Will!" exclaimed the ex-Slayer as she hugged her best friend. After letting go, Buffy turned her attention to Xander and asked, "So, Xander, what do you say about skipping our training tonight and going out on a date at the Bronze?"

Playfully delaying his decision as Buffy looked at him with the most adorable (and sexy, as far as he was concerned) pout on her face, Xander relented by saying, "I'm sure we can make an exception this one time, but if you make a habit of it, you won't be getting anymore post-workout cookies." If Willow had any idea what Xander meant when he said "cookies", she probably would have turned him into a slug as Cordelia suggested.

Buffy's reaction, however, deflected any attention from the comment. Namely, she shouted, "Squee!" at the top of her lungs before gleefully latching herself onto Xander's arm. It was positively adorable in its own cracked way. Thankfully for Willow, the bell rang, and it was time for their chem test.


"I can't believe this!" shouted Buffy over the usual noise at the Bronze as she pointed at Faith, who was oozing sex as she danced with some guys (and at least one girl, Buffy noted bitterly). It was almost as if the universe was openly conspiring against her and Xander.

"Forget her," declared Xander as he wrapped his girlfriend up in his arms. "There are plenty of people out there who know just how awesome you are."

"Yeah, well I'm not quite ready to share you yet," replied Buffy before she kissed Xander warmly. "Besides, I'm not sure if there's a woman out there that can meet my exacting standards."

"Now you're starting to sound like Cordy," joked Xander. The comment earned him an extremely hard smack to his arm. "Hey! No fair!"

"You're lucky I don't have my Slayer strength anymore," groused Buffy. "Comparing me to Cordelia will not be tolerated."

Xander opened his mouth to respond, but both he and Buffy were startled by yet another intruder to their date. "Buffy?"

The ex-Slayer started to instinctively pull away from Xander, but thought differently of it. Oh, yeah, I dumped him. Instead, she grabbed on tighter as she scolded her ex-boyfriend. "Angel, I'm kind of on a date, here. Can't you bother Faith?"

"I'd rather not," declared Angel as he uncomfortably glanced at the brunette Slayer grinding against two guys. "And you're going out with Xander? Seriously?"

Buffy was definitely getting upset now. "You're seriously going to complain about who I date? After all that time you spent with Spike and Dru? And Darla?"

Angel had no point but to concede on Buffy's point. "Xander, Buffy, I apologize." As if that apology wasn't a shock enough, Angel extended his hand to the young man in a show of contrition, which a stunned Xander accepted. And with that out of the way, he returned to his original reason for seeking out Buffy. "Anyways, this involves you, too. It's about Balthazar."

"That new Watcher guy said he was dead."

"Well, he's wrong, because word on the street puts him in the packing warehouse on Devereau. He's looking for-"

"That amulet thingy, right?" asked Buffy. "Faith got it already."

"I know," answered Angel, "I spoke to Giles. He said that she gave it to-"

"Buffy!"

Like a bad penny, Wesley arrived, annoying as ever. Giving up on the pretense of having a first date with Xander tonight, Buffy got off his lap and sat down beside him. "Wow, speak of the really annoying person."

"Well, you're certainly giving me a run for my money," declared the Watcher, earning a harsh glare from Xander. And Buffy could have sworn that her boyfriend actually growled slightly when Wesley tried unsuccessfully to pull her aside. "Might I remind you that you are no longer-"

"Oh, shove it," announced Xander. "Buffy didn't ask for this destiny, and she certainly didn't ask to be neutered by your boss because she and the G-Man have their own way of doing things."

Wesley was totally offended by Xander's outburst. "Well, I never-"

"Where's the amulet?" asked Angel insistently.

"And just who are you?"

"He's a friend," answered Buffy. "Do you have it?"

"It's somewhere very safe," replied Wesley stiffly, right before Buffy reached into his inside jacket pocket, pulling out the amulet. "How did you-"

"It pooches your jacket," declared the ex-Slayer before handing the amulet off to Angel.

"Now hold on a minute."

Scolding the rookie Watcher, Angel said, "Walking around with this thing is like wearing a target."

"And it's not like you don't already scream, 'Bite me,' to the vamps already," added Xander with a fair amount of condescension.

Buffy gave her boyfriend a quick "back off" look before asking Angel, "You'll put it somewhere that's actually safe?"

"I'll do it now."

"We're gonna do some recon on Balthazar." Turning to Xander, Buffy added, "We better arm up first."

Wesley was apoplectic. "OK, people? Balthazar is dead. Am I the only one who remembers that?" The only acknowledgement he received were three pairs of eyes rolling.

"You're not bringing Faith?" questioned Angel, which merely earned him an annoyed look from his ex. "Well, be careful."

"We will," answered Xander, letting his animosity towards the souled vampire show before he and Buffy departed.


At the warehouse, a now well-armed Buffy, Xander, and Giles regarded Balthazar and his band of toadies with something less than enthusiasm. There were about a dozen vampires, and one extremely overweight and disturbingly naked demon inside. Luckily, the demon was kind enough to be sitting in a huge tub, obscuring his lower body from view.

"Well, that's something we'll never be able to unsee," declared Buffy with a grimace.

"Could be worse," replied Xander. "His bathtub there could be transparent."

"I didn't need that mental image, Xand," fired back Buffy, now in dire need of brain bleach. "I wonder if there's another way in."

"There's an entrance on the roof," announced Angel, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

"Good," answered the former Slayer. "Now if Willow and Oz would just show up, the odds will be even….ish."

"You called?" asked Oz as he and Willow ran to them.

"I'm on a roll!" said Buffy, in awe of her sudden string of luck.

"Can I make a suggestion?" asked Xander, with a lasvicious grin on his face. "It's always good to 'share', you know…."

Buffy's face went pale when she realized what he was talking about. "Alexander…..Harris!"

"His middle name is 'Lavelle'," declared Willow helpfully.

Buffy started laughing. Xander glared at Willow. All in all, a good time was had until Buffy calmed down. "Willow, you and Oz go up top with Angel, while I take Giles and 'Lavelle' here through the front door."

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" asked Xander.

"Nope!"


Inside, Buffy made her presence known quickly, first by dusting a vamp using her crossbow, and then by loudly announcing, "Hi, my name is Buffy, and I'll be your hostess for the evening. Would you guys prefer the death, the death, or may I humbly suggest, the death?"

"Slayer!" hissed Balthazar angrily.

"Oh, I love it when they call me that!" As if to no one in particular, Buffy shouted, "NOW!" and suddenly, two crossbow bolts flew down from a above, dusting two more of the El Eliminati.

"What are you waiting for?!" screamed the obese demon. "KILL THEM!"

Buffy held her own in her first major battle since losing her powers, staking one of Balthazar's men, but still she found herself backed into a corner by two vamps. She was saved, however, by Faith, who had joined the fray at some undetermined point in time. Faith swiftly dispatched them, and sneered in a show of superiority. "You just don't get it, do you, B? I'm the Slayer. You're just a pathetic groupie."

To her credit, Buffy glared back, but she was ultimately distracted by Angel, whose head was currently being crushed slowly by Balthazar. Looking up, she noticed a light fixture hanging above the creature…..with the wiring leading right to it. With as strong a yank as she could muster, Buffy barely managed to dislodge the fixture, frying the demon and saving Angel's unlife, and causing the remaining El Eliminati to beat feet.

Everyone gathered around the tank, and regarded Balthazar, who looked like a half-cooked (and extra fatty) ham. When his eyes opened suddenly, Buffy jumped. "You think you've won?" taunted the dying demon. "When he rises…..you'll wish I had killed you all." There would be no further answer, however, as Balthazar was most certainly dead.

"That was pleasantly cryptic," said Oz, breaking the silence.

"We'll figure it out," declared Buffy confidently, not noticing that Faith had rolled her eyes at the blonde before leaving in a huff.