A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated sooner. Life's been hectic, to say the least, and I haven't been having the best week. I posted two other stories in the meantime while I took a break from this one. They're called Oh, Wouldn't It Be Nice and What We're Aiming For. Check them out, if you would. They're both MerDer. And they're both insanely cute. Hope you like them, and I really hope you like this chapter!

Reviews, as always, are great and really fuel the story. I was so happy with all the detailed reviews I got for the last chapter, so a big thank you goes out to MoonlightGardenias, RBDFAN, summerdreams, tayababy, flawsinscience, -EHWIES, addicted2oth06, and Shoppingal87.

Okay, seeing as this author's note is getting rather long, I'll shut myself up and let you read what you came for. Enjoy! Review!

-Kait

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"Everyone has a secret. Oh, can they keep it? Oh, no they can't." –Maroon 5

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I turned around to face Hannah. "You really want to know everything?" I asked her, selfishly hoping her answer would be 'no'.

She nodded. "More than anything," she said.

I sighed. "We're going to make a deal, okay?"

"What?" Hannah asked.

"We're making a deal. You ask me a question and I have to answer. I ask you one and you have to answer. This way we can help each other," I reasoned.

Hannah thought it over. "Sounds fair, I guess," she said before pausing for a moment. "Okay, why did we go to the counselor today?"

Great, that's the one question I'm dreading answering and she asks it first.

I took a deep breath and thought about how I'd tell her.

Here goes nothing.

"For the record, I'd like to ask you not to judge me by this. If there's any lesson you'll learn in life it's that you can't help who you fall in love with."

"Wait. What? What does falling in love have to do with counseling?" she questioned.

"You'll see. Trust me," I said, "you'll see."

She shrugged her shoulders and motioned for me to continue with my story.

"Oh, and also, for the record, I'd advise you to try not to fall in love with one of your patients. Or at least wait until they're not your patient anymore," I said.

Hannah looked at me, a confused and annoyed look washing over her face. "You fell in love with a patient?"

I nodded, tears forming in my eyes. "I fell in love with a patient."

"Okay. But how does this help me understand why we spent the day with a counselor instead of doing doctor stuff?"

"I'm getting to that. This is hard for me, Hannah, and you're not making it any easier by interrupting me nonstop," I lashed.

She looked at me, her eyes widening and her confused look changing into a scared one.

"Sorry," I relented. "It's just…I've never really talked about this with anyone and I don't know where to begin."

"Well, you can start from the beginning," she said.

"Right," I said, "the beginning. Well, he came in with a heart condition. He was on the transplant list but he was running out of time. I had gotten to know him in the few days he was at the hospital the first time and we really hit it off. We just…understood each other, you know?"

Hannah smiled and nodded her head.

"So, we flirted for a bit, but then he left. I didn't think I'd see him again, or at least not as soon as I did."

"Why'd he come back?"

"He, um, he was having more heart problems. So we put him on an LVAD."

"A what?"

I laughed. "An LVAD. Left Ventricular Assist Device. It helps the heart pump blood throughout the body when it can't do so on it's own."

"Oh, I got it. So what happened next?"

I took a deep breath. This was still relatively new territory for me, and talking about it still wasn't easy. "Well, a few weeks passed and he wasn't getting any better. He needed a new heart and he was running out of time."

A few tears started to cascade down my cheeks. Hannah handed me a tissue which I graciously accepted.

"Then Doctor Burke—you remember him right?" I asked. She nodded. "Then Doctor Burke received news that there was a donor—two donors, actually—and he went to get the heart for Denny. But our donor flat lined on the table, so he had to fight to get the other donor's heart from Doctor Hahn."

"Did he get it?"

"Yeah, how he got it is key to the story."

"Oh, okay. Continue, then."

"So, I don't know if you've heard of something called UNOS, but they're in charge of the donor lists. When someone is placed on the donor list, they're clocked in by the second. Doctor Hahn's patient was placed on the list seventeen seconds before Denny, which essentially means that Doctor Hahn's patient should get the heart."

"Wait. So if the heart is legally Doctor Hahn's, how did Doctor Burke get it?"

"See, in order for Denny to get the heart, he would have had to get much sicker very fast. But the problem was that he was stable and in no harm." I gulped. "So I made him sicker."

"You did what?"

"Hey, you promised you wouldn't judge me. I did what I thought was best and we're leaving it at that."

"Okay. Sorry."

"It's okay. You sure you want to hear the rest?"

Hannah nodded. I started to tear up again.

"Like I said, I made him sicker." I paused, and for the first time since I confessed, I admitted, out loud, what I had done. "I cut his LVAD wires."

"So his heart stopped?"

I grabbed another tissue and wiped my eyes. "Essentially, yes, his heart stopped. I kept it beating manually, though."

"Oh. Then what happened?"

"We, uh, ran some tests to prove that Denny's condition was getting worse, and then faxed them to Mercy West, where the donor was. But before I cut the wires, I called Doctor Burke and told him that he should get back to Seattle Grace as soon as possible. That I didn't know enough medicine to help keep him alive once I started. And when I hung up, I went to his room and cut the wires." I started to break down and Hannah gave me a few minutes to recoup.

"Did he die?"

"No. I kept his heart beating manually. One by one, my friends came in the room and tried to help. George was there when I cut the wires, and Meredith and Cristina came in after."

"What'd they do?"

"George freaked out. Meredith tried to stay calm. And Cristina…she…"

"It's okay. You can say it," she reassured me.

"She told me Burke got shot."

Hannah gasped. I sat there, tears flowing steadily out of my eyes.

"Then what happened?"

"We, uh, all fought about what to do next, about what I'd done. But then Meredith told us all to shut up and she came up with a plan. We would have to do the blood work and the echo so no one would know." I took a short pause, composing myself a bit more.

"And then Cristina tried to tell me that I didn't really know Denny at all. That I should run away from the problem and never look back. But then Denny…he asked me to marry him."

"And what'd you say?"

"Nothing. There was another complication. We had to give him adenosine, which stopped his heart."

"You gave him medicine to kill him?"

"No! It only stops his heart for a few seconds."

"Oh. Okay."

"So when we were doing all of this, Doctor Bailey walked in."

"Uh oh. Did you get in trouble?"

"Trouble is an understatement. Bailey decided that…that I wouldn't be a doctor anymore until she said so."

"But you're a doctor now, aren't you?"

"Yes. But I can't practice medicine until the chief says so. Right now I'm just observing, watching everyone from afar. I usually shadow different interns each day, but today I was with the counselor."

"Oh, so it's all making sense now. What happened after Bailey told you you weren't a doctor?"

I laughed. "She put us in time out. But I refused to stay in my time out and went to go check on Denny while he was in surgery."

"So he got the heart after all?"

"Yes."

"Wait. If Doctor Burke couldn't perform the surgery because he got shot, who did it?"

"Doctor Hahn did. She flew in from Mercy West with Alex and performed the surgery here."

"Oh. So he didn't make it through the surgery?"

"No, he made it though. He made it through with flying colors. It was after the surgery when things got complicated."

"Seriously?"

I nodded. "Seriously. I went back to talk to him, tried to tell him that he could take the whole proposal back, but he said no. He said he wanted to marry me and that was final. So…I walked away. Ran away, actually. But I came back," I said. "I came back and I said yes."

"Aww! That's so sweet. But this ends badly, so I guess I shouldn't be happy."

I shook my head. "You can be happy. You can feel however you want to feel."

She smiled. "Okay. I'm happy. But I want to hear more."

"Can I take a rain check? It's getting late and we have a lot to do tomorrow."

She sighed. "I guess so. But you have to promise you'll tell me, okay?"

"I don't break my promises."

She smiled. "Okay then."

We both cleaned up and got ready for bed. As I was walking toward my bedroom, Hannah came up behind me and engulfed me in a hug. I turned around and hugged her back.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"Thank you. For telling me, you know? I know it must have been really hard and I'm happy I'm not completely in the dark anymore."

I smiled and hugged her tighter. "You're welcome." I looked down at her. "Goodnight."

She smiled up at me. "Goodnight, Izzie."

We let go of each other and walked toward our respective rooms.

"Oh, and Hannah?"

She turned around. "Yeah?"

"I'm happy you're not in the dark, too."

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A/N: Okay, so that didn't turn out the way I expected it to, but that's okay, right? I don't really like this chapter much because it's just a retelling of what we already know, but I think Hannah's interjections are what keep the chapter flowing. I really hope you liked this, and once again, I'm SO sorry this took so long to get posted.

REVIEW, please!