I Only Have Eyes For You

Chapter 12: Only One

Notes: Wedding ceremony over, moving across three states over, and I have prioritized studying over fanfiction. I'm sorry it has taken me months to give this to you. I can't promise monthly updates, but I'm gonna try.

Here I go, so dishonestly,

Leave a note, for you my only one,

And I know you can see right through me,

So let me go and you will find someone - Yellowcard

"Oh my god," Ino stared at her friend. "You look horrible."

Sakura brushed her bangs closer to her face, hoping to cover her bloodshot, puffy eyes. "Is it obvious? I didn't want to go to work, but I had to."

"Come on," Ino took her by the wrist, out of the break room, through the hospital hallways and out of the garden doors. She pulled her to an isolated bench underneath a large tree, away from any strolling patients or visitors. "Something happened after your party?"

"Not just then... Oh geez," Sakura sat back, covering her face with both hands.

"Oh, Sakura, Sakura..." Ino sighed. She had to get used to this, all the drama unfolding in her friend's life. Better her than me, she thought, but she hated herself just a little for somewhat enjoying it all. "Start from the beginning."

Sakura took a deep breath and pulled her hands from her face. "Sasuke-kun, he... kind of sort of wants to get serious."

Ino narrowed her crystal eyes. "What kind of serious?"

"Like he asked me to consider a future."

Ino immediately burst into a fit of squeals, accompanied with flapping hands. "Oh my god! He proposed?"

"Well, not in so many words," Sakura explained.

"What did he say exactly?"

"When his sentence, you know, his punishment, is over and when his name is respectable again, will I stand beside him?"

Ino narrowed her eyes. "Stupid forehead girl, that's a proposal! And you said...?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing," Sakura said. "He told me to think about it."

"Sakura my dear," Ino said affectionately while she patted her shoulder, "When a good-looking guy asks you to marry him, you should at least be intrigued and flattered. You have no business crying yourself to an ugly mess."

"It wasn't Sasuke-kun that made me cry," Sakura told her. "It was...It was Naruto," she said the last sentence very softly.

"He did?" Ino's eyes widened, surprised at such a thought. Naruto? Making Sakura cry? "How'd he do that?"

"By showing that he indeed has balls," a voice said from the tree.

Both women looked up towards the branches of the tree they sat underneath. "Sai-sama!" Ino smiled.

"How long have you been there?" Sakura nearly growled at the ANBU member.

"Since you sat down. Were you too distracted to sense my presence?" he jumped down so that he sat on the bench, on the other side of Sakura. "By the way, when I said that he showed he had balls, I meant that as a figure of speech."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "We got that."

"Of course, if things continued as they did last night, it would have been literal."

"What?" Sakura was positively livid. "What did he tell you?"

"Everything," Sai smiled.

"Hello?" Ino interrupted. "What the hell happened?"

"Naruto happened," Sakura answered, her tone displaying her tense and uncomfortable state. "With kissing. Kissing happened."

Ino blinked, looking back at Sai for verification, and then Sakura when his amused smile did not falter. "No way," she gasped. Frankly, this gossip was too interesting... "You have Sasuke-kun's full attention and yet you and Naruto-."

"I didn't mean to! It just happened," Sakura tried to explain.

"So who made the first move?" Ino asked.

"Well, he kissed me," Sakura answered quickly.

"Are you so sure?" Sai intervened.

"Alright, so we both moved at the same time," Sakura admitted. "I was only there to return his apartment key. But then I remembered how we were supposed to go out for ramen and I brought some over. We ate, then we talked and then before I knew it, we kissed!"

"And after that?" Ino asked.

"We started arguing. I told him that this is wrong. And that he can't be doing this to Sasuke-kun. That we shouldn't see each other alone," Sakura continued. "Then he got angry at me. He said I was toying with him. And he called me just 'Sakura'. No "-chan.' He never does that."

"Whoa..." Ino breathed.

"I told him that he was playing with my feelings but he said I was doing the same! Can you believe that?"

"Well, you are," Ino and Sai said in unision. They glanced at one another, curious.

Sakura glanced at both of them. "Huh?"

"Sakura, you have Sasuke-kun," Ino reminded. "You shouldn't be thinking about another guy, much less going to their apartment and making out with him."

"But Naruto-," Sakura started but was interrupted by Sai.

"Unless you're a slut."

Before Sakura could turn around and give Sai a good punch in the face, Ino grabbed Sakura by the shoulders, regaining the control of the conversation. "Not that, just... er, caring for two men differently," Ino tried to correct, picking words off the top of her head.

"Even so, why was Naruto's fake girlfriend such a concern for you? And even if there really was a girlfriend that existed, I would think you would be happy for him. Isn't it a good thing if a person can find another who makes him or her feel special?" Sai asked.

Sakura felt tongue-tied. "I... I don't know." She shook her head. She didn't want to say it. No, that couldn't be it... "It just was... I have to figure this out and talk to him."

"You're going to have to wait about two weeks," Sai informed. "He's on vacation to Suna since this morning."

"Vacation? Why?"

"For alone time, I suppose. To mend his broken heart."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the dark haired man. "You love to watch me suffer, don't you?"

"Nonsense," Sai smiled gently, his eyes closed. "Not just you, but everyone."

"You're sick," Sakura's lips curled in disapproval.

"Yes, but he's so beautiful," Ino said as she gazed at the man. She shook her head, reviving herself from the trance. "Listen, Sakura, you need to clear things up with yourself. Stay consistent! You can't say you're with Sasuke-kun, possibly marry him, and then still crave and dig for Naruto's sole affection and attention. It doesn't make any sense."

"Unless you're an attention whore," Sai pondered out loud, clear as a bell.

This time, Sakura socked him right in between the eyes. "You were saying?" she turned back to Ino.

"You have some time to think with Naruto gone. You have to sort your feelings out between the two. Now, tell me, and be honest: who was the better kisser?"

Sakura's cheeks began to blush. "You can't ask that!"

"Sure I can!"

"But they're different!"

"Come on!" Ino engaged. "Which one made you smell roses and see sparkles and stuff?"

"Neither," Sakura answered honestly.

"Oh. Really?" a look of disappointment on appeared on Ino's face.

Truth was, Sakura thought, while Sasuke's kiss was sweet in its own chaste way, Naruto's kiss made her feel as if the world disappeared.


"So, how's the construction going?"

Sasuke turned to her. "Well," he answered simply.

"The noon air was crisp and thin, with a slight breeze running over the site. Sasuke and Sakura sat away from the crowd, his hard hat resting on his knee.

"I hope you didn't mind that I brought you lunch," Sakura told him. "Since I'll be working late hours all week."

"It's alright," he assured her, as he slowly ate a rolled egg from the bento. "Something important came up?"

"Yeah," Sakura answered. Work had a tendency to distract her when she needed it to.

He finished the last of his eel and rice, saying a small chant of thanks. She watched him quietly pack up his used bowl and chopsticks, placing them in the bag she originally provided.

Sakura looked up. All the other men were scattered around the construction site, eating their lunch. Some of them also had bentos from their wives, Sakura noted.

"Can I," she tapped Sasuke's shoulder, "Can I talk to you for a second? In private?"

Sasuke stood and led her to a small alleyway between two nearby buildings. They were not completely obscured from sight; they stood at the opening of the alley.

"I just want you to know that I'm still considering what you said earlier. You know," she told him.

"There's no rush-."

"I know," she interrupted him. "It's important, though, and I'm taking it seriously."

Sasuke nodded quietly.

Sakura could feel her self-consciousness rising up in her throat. She pivoted away from view, so that Sasuke stood in front of her, his back to the open space. With both hands, she pulled him forward, planting her lips over his. She closed her eyes as she tried to fill her senses with Sauske until they hit an overload. She tried to remember his warmth, his smell, everything about that moment.

Finally, when she did, she pulled away.

Sasuke's eyes slowly opened. "What was that for?"

"Just because," she shrugged. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, relieving her of any guilt. "I should go back to work."

She nodded. "I'll call you when I can."

"Alright. Thanks for lunch," he said to her before he left to clock back in.

Sakura released a heavy sigh before heading off to work once more.


She couldn't tell him. Sakura was planning to but the words lodged themselves deep in her chest.

Tell Sasuke that she kissed Naruto? The idea was just so scandalous!

She sat in a quiet research room by herself, with stacks upon stacks of books in front of her. She wasn't exactly paying any attention to them; she was at the table, both hands cradling her chin.

She was sick of this dance. Naruto, Sasuke. Sasuke, Naruto. First love... something else. Oh, who was she kidding? There was a bond between herself and the blond jounin. What it was exactly, she was so unsure. She thought she loved him, too. Was it that simple?

Love, simple? In love with two men, no less? Sakura had to laugh out loud; a chuckle passed her lips.

So why did she kiss Naruto? She wasn't the type to get caught up in the moment of anything. She was a planner, a careful woman by nature. She always felt control over her own feelings. Except when it came to her boys, it seemed. Sasuke iss her first love. Naruto is a near and dear friend. Once again, why did she kiss Naruto, her near and dear friend?

Well, he was a good kisser...

She could still remember the way he felt. How warm his body was, how inviting his lips felt. How something as simple as feeling his lips could cause some sort of chemical reaction in her system. It was kind of like an out of body experience...

No, no, no! How could she do that? What a bad girl, she told herself. What an awful, terrible, bad girl! Here Sasuke was, wanting a future with her while she clearly recalled Naruto's kiss down to the tiniest muscle movement? She had hoped to erase that memory by kissing Sasuke earlier that day, but nothing. Oh, she felt something with Sasuke: gently little tingles rolling down her back, his hesitant lips, the gentle musk of cologne causing her senses to dim ever so slightly...

Technique-wise, there was a difference. Sasuke was slow, relishing in the time that their lips were together. Naruto was energized, consuming, like he was holding back more passion that resided behind his lips, his body.

But, beyond all the kissing, she knew Ino was right. She had to make things clear.

Sasuke wanted a future with her.

Naruto was holding back, and she didn't know why.

Why couldn't her decision be easy? She had almost a week to make one.

It was late at night when Sakura heard a doorbell buzz. "What the..." She reached for her end table lamp, and stumbled through her apartment, her eyes squinting from the lights. She approached the door and opened it.

She was shocked to find Naruto standing on the doorstep, hands in his jacket pockets. "Hey." His eyes looked so strained, she realized. "You got a couple of minutes?"

"Sure," she stepped back.

Naruto shook her head. "It won't take long."

"A-alright."

His eyes were still to the floor as he stood before her.

She hated the silence spreading over them. "You went to visit the Kazekage?"

"Yeah. Sai told you?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Naruto's back was hunched, keeping his hands in his pockets. "Listen, Sakura-chan..."

Something warm washed over her the moment her name escaped his lips.

"About the other night..."

She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Well, can't say I'm sorry I kissed you," he started. "Let's face it, I liked you since I was a kid and that was a stupid-awesome kiss." He shrugged nonchalantly. "And if someone told me that there was a chance to kiss you, I'd line up!"

"Naruto..." she said in a warning tone, the tone that told him he was going tangent from the conversation.

"Yeah, sorry." He rubbed the back of his neck. "But we're confusing each other and I didn't mean to. I guess that's what I'm apologizing for."

Sakura nodded.

"The thing is, I made a promise to you. And Sasuke. I just want you two happy. So, I'm backing up," Naruto declare. "For real."

" 'For real'?" Sakura's brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

"I didn't mean to get in the way of you two, so I think-," Naruto had to take a deep breath, before he continued, "I think you're right. To stop hanging out alone. Yeah, all that stuff. To make things easier." He took a deep breath before saying, "See ya." Naruto turned on his heels and began to walk.

He only took about eight steps before she blurted, "Why are you giving up?" her hand clamped over her mouth the moment after she spoke.

Naruto pivoted around on his heels. "What?"

"I... I don't know why I said that," Sakura spoke out loud. "Just... well, you never give up on anything! So why are you giving up on this? On... on me?"

"Wait, I'm confused," Naruto squinted his eyes. "Are you telling me not to?"

"I don't know?"

"Are you asking me to fight Sasuke for you-?"

"No, of course not!"

"Because I figure that's the last thing you would want, Sakura-chan. But I'll do it!"

"No, that's the last thing I'd want!" she exclaimed.

"Then why would you say that?"

"I don't know!" Sakura told him. "Honestly, Naruto, I don't know! All this is so confusing! I want you here but I feel so guilty and-," before she knew it, she felt the tears collecting in her eyes.

Usually, Naruto would have run over and tried to stop the tears. Instead, he just stood there, one hand to the wall, the other grabbing fistfuls of his jacket hem. "Are you sure you don't want me to fight?"

Sakura was still able to send him a glare.

"Yeah, I figured as much," he muttered. "Listen, I'm just looking out for you."

"But what about you? Who's looking out for you?" The last time she checked, that was her task.

"Don't worry about it," he assured her. "Tell you what? You live your happy life with Sasuke and raise yourself a little clan. I'll find someone. She won't be as hot as you, I'll guarantee, but I'll try."

Somehow, she found herself giggling at his words.

"There you go!" he encouraged. "Smiling Sakura-chan is the best damn thing ever." Their smiles faded simultaneously. "Time to go. See you."

She looked at him directly in his eyes, watched his eyes lowered as he turned to leave. Even though he left on a lighter note, Sakura couldn't shake the sinking feeling in the back of her head and her stomach.

She lived without him for three years, she reminded herself. She could do it again.

Sakura crawled into bed, pulling the covers over her head. She closed her eyes, trying to forget Naruto, the guilt, the wondering, the restlessness, just to get a decent night's sleep.

"Can I just pretend that you're mine?"

Sakura struggled out of bed, realizing she slept a good fifteen minutes through her alarm clock's buzz.