A/N: Hello, again! First of all, I wrote this chapter kind of in a hurry, so my apologies if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes. I did what I could to edit, but I might have missed something in my haste, so sorry again. Second, there are a few views expressed in here on somewhat sensitive topics, and I wanted to stay true to the characters, so I wanted to let you all know, the views are not necessarily my personal beliefs, but what I think the characters speaking them would believe. Now, without further ado, read, review, and enjoy!
Chapter Eleven
They had arrived at Billy and Mindy's an hour after they left the lake. There had been a charged silence between them, and Tim knew it was only a matter of time before everything between the two of them boiled over and erupted. There were only so many times they could be interrupted, almost have a moment, and then have it all fade away. The energy was pent up, and without a small stream being released, it was going to explode sometime soon.
He almost looked forward to that, to finally being with her. Especially if it came along with an explosion of that deep-rooted passion she kept hidden so well. She acted like nothing phased her, but he knew that underneath it all, she felt that same strong pull that he did. And he was determined to either get her to admit it or it was finally time to let his dream of her go.
Tim stared at Julie from across the living room as they waited for Mindy to finish cooking. Mindy had been overjoyed to see Julie, and all three of the kids were currently climbing all over Julie as she sat on the couch and chatted with Billy. Tim wasn't getting much attention in the conversation, but that was just fine by him. He hadn't thought much about being with someone forever, much less having kids, but looking at Julie now, watching her as she played and laughed with Steven, Haley, and Connor, he was suddenly struck by the image of her belly swollen with his child as she smiled up at him in their own kitchen.
"Timmy, you with us, bro?" Tim glanced up to see Billy staring at him in confusion. His brother had never seen him this way, and it wasn't surprising that he would find Tim's behavior odd. He'd never been this lovestruck about anyone. Lovesick was probably a better word. Without her, he sure as hell would be sick.
"Yeah, sorry. Just thinkin'." He thought about adding a smile, but he knew that would look even more off to his brother.
"Hey, everyone, dinner's ready." Mindy appeared at the doorway between the living room and the kitchen and the kids scrambled off the couch around Julie and raced into the kitchen to take their places at the table. Apparently they were hungry. Julie grinned and watched their antics of anticipation and Tim felt something tighten inside his chest.
"Hungry, Jules?" He said as he walked behind her into the kitchen.
"You know it," she replied, with that genuine grin in place on her face. He didn't think he'd ever seen her look more beautiful.
"Thanks for making dinner, Min," he said as he seated himself at the table between Connor and Haley.
"Hey, anythin' for our Julie." Our Julie. He liked that. Though he would have preferred 'my Julie'. "I even made your favorite, Julie." Mindy motioned at the food on the table. "Bourbon steak tips with mashed potatoes and caesar salad."
Julie grinned even bigger, if possible. "Thanks, Min."
"Alright, everyone, hold hands and let's say grace."
Tim didn't know when he'd started seeing Billy and Mindy as an older version of Julie and himself, but sometime during the meal the resemblance had become incredibly evident. They bickered the same way he and Julie did, but they laughed the same way as well. And they shared the life he imagined for Julie and himself. They had three kids and a dog, a vision Tim hadn't thought he'd ever want, let alone crave with the deepest fibers of his being. He wanted that with Julie.
He wanted three kids, a dog or two, and his house down on the lake with no neighbors in sight. He wanted them to be in a world of their own, a perfect world, that they would rarely have to leave and deal with other people. Why he wanted the isolation, he wasn't sure. But he knew with Julie at his side, he didn't need anything else, and leaving Julie's side would make him deeply unhappy.
"Connor, did you like seeing Julie again?" Billy broke into Tim's thoughts. He'd never have believed it when they were younger, but Billy made one hell of a father. He and Mindy had had some growing up to do when they'd first had Steven, hell, they still had some growing up to do, but after their second and third children, they'd settled into the roles of parents well. Tim was amazed even more at Billy's fathering because they'd had an absentee father growing up and he'd never had someone to show him how to do it. He'd figured it out all on his own.
"Yeah!" The four year old piped up. Connor was the youngest, but he was already shaping up to have the infamous Riggins' charm. He'd flirted outrageously with Julie the whole night, and the kid had the athleticism that had taken Tim into his college glory years. He'd be a lady killer someday, no doubt about it. And unless he was mistaken, which, based on the kid's energy and open affection toward the opposite gender as a whole, he'd be a wild one.
Steven, on the other hand, seemed to have more of the solemness Tim had displayed only a few times in his life. After he and Lyla had broken up, when he'd realized he and Tyra could never be together, when the idea of Texas Forever died… when Julie left. There was something about the women in his life that brought out that brooding attitude in him. And Steven had that tall, dark, and brooding thing down pat, even at eleven years old. But Tim figured he'd be a lady killer, too, just the darker side to his brother's bright energy. But both boys possessed that quality that made Riggins boys irresistible.
Haley, the middle child of nine years old, was nearly a carbon copy of her aunt Tyra. Sassy to a T, but light and bright and happy. And fiercely loyal to the ones she cared about. She even had the blonde haired, blue eyed good looks the Colette women shared. But Billy was visible in her, too, in her energy and her love of sports… she had just enough Riggins mixed in with the Colette to set her apart from the women in her family.
Just like the boys had a bit of Mindy in them, in their energy and their passion for the people they loved and their fierce determination to finish everything they started. And a small measure of compassion to go along with it. They'd drive the girls crazy. And if Haley had any Colette in her at all, which it appeared she did, she'd torment the boys.
"Well, I had fun with you, too, Connor." Julie smiled that smile she'd been smiling all night and it made him want to bring her home and push her up against a wall and get on top of that baby making so she could smile that way at their own kids. She was so good with kids.
"Imma miss you, Auntie Julie!" The kid continued, and Julie continued smiling that enchanting smile of hers.
"I'm not going anywhere, little man," she said, ruffling his hair. Oh, how Tim wished that were true. But she was going somewhere, and he had one more night to convince her she had a damn good reason to stay in Dillon. She had them, but she didn't know it yet.
"Well, right now you are." Tim finally joined the conversation, standing up from his place at the couch. "We need to get home, Jules. Got an early day tomorrow. I'm moving back home."
Something he couldn't identify flashed over her features, and he didn't have time to analyze it before she covered it up with a polite smile. It could have been disappointment, it could have been relief, he couldn't tell. But that also meant he didn't know where he stood with her on the eve of his return to his own couldn't bring himself to say home; even in less than a month, home had become where she was. And, in other news, he had fully become a woman.
"Right." Julie pushed herself up off of her own seat on the couch and joined him at the front of the room. The kids bounced up to hug each of them in turn, and Mindy and Billy walked over, one arm behind each other's backs.
"It was great seeing you two again," Julie said, a genuine smile gracing her face, taking the place of the polite one she'd had there moments earlier. "Thank you for inviting me for dinner."
"Anytime, miss Julie," Billy said, pulling her in for a hug. Tim was only slightly surprised to feel a pang of jealousy at seeing Julie hug another man. He knew he wouldn't be able to take it if she entered into a relationship with another man. He just hoped, if she didn't end up in a relationship with him in the next twenty four hours, she'd be back in New York before she got into another relationship.
"I hope I'll see you again while I'm still in town." Julie hugged Mindy this time, and Tim shook his head. He wished she would stop hammering in the fact that she was leaving at the end of the summer. It wasn't even the end of the summer. It right after the reunion and the banquet in honor of her father's retirement.
"So do I, Julie! Stop on in at work sometime!" Mindy still worked at the Landing Strip, but now that she'd had three kids, she'd been promoted to manager so she wouldn't have to show off her stretch marks. Tim would love to see Julie at the Landing Strip, except less in a visiting Mindy capacity and more in a stripping capacity. And maybe somewhere more private, for his eyes only. Like his house.
So maybe he wouldn't like to see Julie at the Landing Strip after all.
"I'll see what I can do." Julie grinned at the woman practically bouncing in front of her. Tim watched in interest as Julie looked at Mindy as if she were one of the kids. She was truly and thoroughly entertained by Mindy's energy.
"Thanks for dinner, bro," Tim said, pulling Billy in for a loose hug. They didn't usually hug, but recently, probably because of Billy's relationship with Mindy and their kids, his brother had been more sentimental and open to showing affection for Tim.
Before he was released, Billy whispered in Tim's ear, "Do what you need to, brother. You've only got so much time." Tim pretended to be confused by his brother's cryptic warning, but he had a sinking suspicion he knew exactly what Billy meant. Julie was leaving.
"Whatever you say, bro," He replied, feigning confusion as best he could. "I'll see you at work."
Tim tried to ignore the knowing smirk across Billy's face as he ushered Julie outside with a hand on her lower back. He could feel the warmth of her skin through her clothing and it was enough to make him forget about the other people in the room as he followed her out the front door.
He tried to keep himself calm when they'd arrived back at the house. But he was on edge. He needed to make something happen as soon as possible, because he only had one more night to establish a relationship with her. Once he went back to his own house, it was likely be out of sight, out of mind for her. She'd forget about him and the possibilities that existed between them.
"So, you wanna sit on the couch and watch some TV for a while? I'll even let you pick the show." He grinned what he hoped was his most charming and endearing grin, but to no avail.
She yawned. "I think I'm just going to head to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow to get you settled back at home."
"So you won't even keep my company on our last night together? C'mon, Jules, just some TV for a little while. I promise you'll be well rested to help me out tomorrow morning. Not that I need that much help, I really don't have that much stuff." She looked hesitant, so he slung an arm around her shoulder and dragged her into his side. And if his method of persuasion happened to have the side effect of pressing all her curves along his body, well, that was just fine by him.
"Alright, fine. An hour of TV."
He grinned at his victory, and tugged her down on the couch next to him. He felt her stiffen at their nearness, but refused to let her back away. He'd ease her into a romantic situation, but he was not going to ease her into cuddling with him. Friends cuddled. And from lying together on the couch, it wouldn't be difficult for him to roll over and kiss her, to convince her that this was a good thing, that this was right because he loved her and he hoped to God she loved him. He didn't think he'd be able to take it if she stopped him once he'd started.
"Did you like the dinner?" He rubbed her shoulders and arms and back, and pulled her in tighter against his body when she began to relax.
"It was my favorites, but it was also Mindy's cooking, so there's only so much that making my favorites can do." She smiled along with him as he laughed, and to his delight, she snuggled closer into his chest. "You're so warm."
His heart nearly stopped at that, then it began beating at two times its normal rate. He swallowed thickly, trying to calm himself as he contemplated his next move. She was pressed up against him, her beautiful face buried in his chest. And she had just told him he was warm. This was a prime opportunity to make his move.
He began to lean down, licking his lips and attempting to steady his breathing as he went, which had become shallow and quickened in anticipation. He tilted her face to position her lips under his. And was met with a snore. He widened his eyes to take in the sight below him. Her eyes were shut, her soft lips parted in sleep. She hadn't been kidding when she'd said she was tired.
Tim leaned back with a groan dropping his head back onto the edge of the couch and trying to calm himself. The idea of being able to finally taste her had him half hard, and he needed to focus to fix that situation. He knew he'd likely missed his chance with her, but he couldn't help but feel somewhat optimistic about it. She'd told him he was warm and snuggled into his chest. When she'd previously outright refused to be touched by him, he couldn't help but view their few short minutes on the couch as a win. And he'd seen desire in her eyes before. She did feel something. He just needed to stay hopeful.
Fuck staying hopeful, Tim thought the next morning. He'd slept on the couch with her all night. She'd been on his chest and he hadn't wanted to risk her wrath if he were to wake her up, so he'd fallen asleep with her cuddled up by his longer body. In his mind, it was a pretty damn good place to be. Even platonically.
But he'd woken to find her out of sight. He'd looked around the house, hoping to find her in the kitchen or the bathroom. The shower would have been even better, as he could join her and back her up against the wall without her being able to utter a word in retaliation before he'd set his mouth over hers. But she'd been gone. And she'd left him a note. A fucking note, dammit.
Tim,
Thanks for a great couple of weeks. Sorry I had to run out this morning, but Tyra called and she needed my help with something right away. I wish I could be there to help out and say goodbye, but my friend needs my help. Hope you get settled in well, and I hope to see you around town while I'm still here.
Hope you understand,
Julie
That was not going to make him feel better at all. He'd thought, after last night, he'd be able to wake up with her in his arms again. He'd be able to feel her softness against him in the bright morning sunlight one last time. At least one last time in that house. Hopefully, there would have been many more morning just like that in his house on the lake.
But now that was blown straight to hell. And she'd run out on him. Had she truly been that affected by the night before that she had to go run and hide? Or had she truly been that unaffected that she would go help Tyra and leave him on his own? He couldn't help but feel a little bit upset by her words. She'd said her friend, Tyra, needed her help. But was Tyra so much better of a friend that another friend of hers, Tim, who needed help didn't receive the same courtesy?
He'd thought their friendship was deeper than that. But apparently that was one-sided. Just like the attraction and the love. It was all one-sided, and he was an idiot for ever thinking otherwise. He'd thought he could trust a woman again, that Julie would never hurt him the way women in his past had. But yet again, he'd been wrong. She was the same as the rest of them, and he figured it was about damn time to stop putting his heart on the line, only to have it shattered every single time.
Julie Taylor didn't like him that way? Well, that was just fine by him. He could find a better, hotter woman to get over her with. He'd once been a master at drowning his sorrows. It was like riding a bike; he'd never forget how to do it. And he'd try his damnedest to ignore that small part of his brain that was screaming at him to find Julie Taylor and force her to finally face what was between them. That screamed that no woman would ever be enough now that he'd spent time with Julie Taylor.
"You are a damned coward, Jules." Tyra raised her eyebrow at her longtime friend as she sat on a bench in the park. She smirked when Julie jumped a near foot in the air at the sound of her voice.
"Tyra! You scared me!"
"Thanks, Watson, I couldn't tell." Julie shook her head at Tyra's sass.
"Why am I a coward? I'm sitting on a bench enjoying the morning sunshine and a cup of coffee from a local shop, and not one of those big chains."
"Yeah, but you're doin' all that while a certain friend of yours would like your help moving back into his house." Tyra eyed the blonde as her face closed off when she mentioned Tim.
"How does that make me a coward? Asshole, I can see. But coward?"
"You're here because you're scared about what you feel for him." It wasn't a question. Tyra really didn't do questions. Which worked out well, because questions were pretty much the only thing Landry did.
"I'm not scared." The response was suspiciously quick.
"You are."
"No. But I don't think I could have said goodbye to him."
"Give it up, Jules. You're terrified that you love him and he doesn't love you back." Tyra finally relaxed out of her cocky stance and sat down on the bench next to her friend. Julie had always been the more timid of the pair. "You loved Matt and he didn't love you the same way. But you didn't feel the way you feel about Tim about Matt."
"I don't love Tim! We're friends, but that's it!"
"Then why are you so upset about him going back home? Is it still because you think you won't see him at all? Because I know Tim, and if the relationship… friendship… whatever the hell it is means anything to him, he'll do his best to see you and keep it as much the same as he can." Tyra highly doubted that was the real issue, but if Julie was this adamant about not admitting her true feelings, Tyra could play along for a little while.
"I'm not good at goodbyes, Tyra." This was spoken softer than the rest.
"It's not a fucking goodbye, Julie, he's not going anywhere! He's going back to his house, across town. It's about a five minute drive! You're the one who's pulling away, you're the one who's leaving in a few weeks. He's not saying goodbye, you are." Despite loving Julie like a sister, Tyra felt the need to defend Tim. She and Tim had had an interesting but… rocky relationship to say the least. But they were kindred spirits, and she did love Tim. Not the way she loved Landry, but she loved Tim. Both Tim and Julie deserved to be happy, and the way things were going, neither of them were. It was time someone kicked some sense into both of them.
"I have to go, Tyra." Julie stood and dropped her coffee cup in the nearby trash can. Her voice was flat. "I'll see you around."
So much for knocking some sense into her.
Billy watched his younger brother swagger into the shop four days later, a beer in his hand and that cocky, half-drunk Riggins smile on his face. He hadn't seen his brother this way since college. Since Lyla.
"How many hours are you planning on working this week, Timmy?" He tried for a normal conversation, but it was difficult given Tim's recent crusade to forget Julie Taylor existed.
"I don't know. Got a hot date four nights this week. Two or three some nights. Don't think I'll be able to work afternoons." His grammar took about twelve steps back without her influence, too.
"C'mon, Timmy, don't you think you're taking this thing a little too far?" Billy dropped the towel he'd been holding and turned to face his hard headed brother face to face.
"What thing? I'm just havin' fun, Billy. This is what the town expects of me, after all. I'm just givin' them what they want. The ladies love me."
"Do they? Do they love when you stumble in, drunk off your ass at two in the morning and eat all the cold pizza in their fridges? Or do you not stick around long enough to know?"
"Why are you sayin' all this, Billy? Since when have you decided to be a big brother?" Billy knew Tim could register on some level that that was a low blow, but he figured he was already drunk enough to have taken the filter off his mouth.
"I decided to be a big brother when you ran off one night and spent weeks on end living at the Taylor house!" He saw pain flash across his brother's face. "Yeah, remember that? You have rules, you had a mother and a father… You had Julie, and that turned you around. You turned into a decent guy, and you made me want to turn into a decent guy, too. So I tried my hardest to make up for all the years I was a shitty brother to you. I stopped drinking so much, I stopped seeing the woman we were fighting over, I tried to help you do better in school and in football-" Another flinch from the younger Riggins. "- and I tried to help you turn your life around. You still drank a lot, but I figured that was just the wild teenage rebellion years. You stopped sleeping around so much and you and Lyla got together. She was good for you, too. Not in the end, but she helped calm you down when you needed it. But I always saw there was something different in the way you acted around Julie Taylor. And now you're back to your old ways all because she hurt you. Doesn't that tell you something, bro? Cause I've never seen you this upset about a girl before, ever. And that includes Lyla, and you two were engaged. If that doesn't say something about how important this thing with Julie is, I don't know what else I can say to make you understand it's worth fighting for."
"She doesn't want to be with me!" Tim said, probably louder than he'd intended after consuming enough alcohol to put him firmly over the legal driving limit. "She wasn't there when I left. She chose Tyra over me."
"Unless both those women have suddenly decided to become gay, I think you're overreacting a bit."
"Why? Why should I put myself out there again?"
"Do you love her?"
"I loved Lyla."
"I don't care about Lyla. I care about Julie."
"Why should I try again with Julie when I got hurt every time I tried with Lyla?"
"Because Julie isn't Lyla."
Tim was silent.
"Now, do you love her?"
"Yes." It was soft, like he was embarrassed to admit it. And Billy didn't blame him. Tim didn't generally show emotion.
"Would you rather spend the rest of your life without feeling that ever again because you didn't try, or would you want to risk the hurt knowing you fought with every fiber of your body to get her love in return?"
Tim was silent again.
"What was it y'all used to say? Clear eyes, full hearts…?"
Tim looked up and met his brother's eyes for the first time in the conversation. "Can't lose."
