"Yes, It's Us Again" of the Daleks
The adventure begins with the reminder that the Doctor blew up Simon Pegg's evil ceiling a few stories ago. Meanwhile, 100 years later, he finds himself in a spinning lift dreaming about being a 1913 history teacher called John Smith, whose adventures with a naughty schoolboy, a maid, a farmer and a small girl result in cruel and unusual punishments for all involved (except Timmy, he comes out all right). Unperturbed, the Doctor emerges into a house where he meets the camp-gay-but-not-too-camp-gay one, the bubbly-but-eventually-doomed one and the angry-and-very-doomed one, who are all housemates in a suspicious room filled with eyes and cameras. The Doctor promptly concludes that he's in How Clean Is Your Spaceship, and begins rating the room. He doesn't score it very high.
As the inspection continues, the angry-and-very-doomed one gets evicted from Life, the Universe and Everything, which angers the Doctor because that's what he was planning on doing. Declaring it 'ruined forever', he has a quick flashback (turns out he was in the TARDIS earlier! Big suprise...) and tells Lynda (the bubbly-but-eventually-doomed one) that it's not just a game: it's a slow-cooked, honey-drizzled game sprinkled with Madagascan cherries and makes his escape, bringing Lynda with him. Lynda with a Y, not Ltnda with a T. She was evicted for lack of proper spelling. This leaves the camp-gay-but-not-too-camp-gay one to win... with sexy results!
Rose finds herself Doctorless and instead with a friendly black man, who invites her to win not-death in a nice trivia game. Rose, armed with her amazing powers of ancient wisdom, happily joins in until she realises that ancient wisdom won't cut it – this game needs mediocre powers of pop culture. Having noted down a funny sounding place (Torchwood Institute? Ha!) in a new diary, Ann Robinson begins killing contestants (she's a very violent host), including young Rose. And that's terrible.
Captain Jack-of-all-trades has spent his time doing adverts (Defabricator – does exactly what it says on the tin) before being kicked out for being "so three minutes ago". He finds himself on the mean streets of the Gamestation, which are now solely inhabited by the Doctor and Lynda. The trio find out who owns said Gamestation (it's Bad Wolf, by the way. We have been building up to this for a while, so try not to be too surprised). Learning of Rose's untimely demise, they march on up to Floor 500 (which is still not made of gold, even after 100 years. It was for a bit, but then they went to and... cashed their gold, pretty much.
The creepy staff on the top floor remain unaware of the events of the episode until an angry Jack, a very angry Doctor and an indifferent Lynda crash their party, throwing guns at people and causing general mischief. It is here that the Doctor finds out Rose's fate – rather than being killed, she was thrown into a plot hole and landed on a ship. To the Doctor, a very familiar ship. Rose awakes to find herself under attack from a very familiar and deadly enemy...
So it's the Axons, right?
