"I've! Become so numb! I can't feel you there!" I sang along with the song on the radio. Things had gotten much better for me since the Joker and I became "fuck buddies." God, I still can't believe I actually agreed to that. I wasn't sure what it meant for me on terms of how much longer the Joker would keep me around, but I wasn't constantly fearing for my life. Also on the plus side was that I wasn't locked in my one little room anymore. The Joker had pretty much given me free reign of the apartment building over the last week, granted that I didn't go outside. There was still no way he could risk me escaping because I knew way too much about how he and his henchmen operated. The other positive from this whole situation was that I was actually getting used to being where I was. I mean, sometimes I totally forgot that I was being held against my will. Sebastian and Drake were awesome and we hung out all the time. And, well, the Joker wasn't that bad either. Obviously I was attracted to him, seeing as we were sleeping together, but if he hadn't kidnapped me and he wasn't, you know, a bad person, then I would totally be into him even more.
But anyway, I had found an apartment room with a working stereo, so I was having myself a major jam sesh.
"I'm tired of being what you want me to be!" I danced around the room pretending I was part of the band, air guitar included. "All I want to do! Is be more like me! And be less like-" I turned in a circle while doing the running man and that's when I realized that I wasn't alone, as I had thought I was. The Joker was standing in the doorway with a look on his face that said he had been there for awhile.
"Um, hi," I giggled, finding this more funny than embarrassing. He had seen me naked every day this week. I could only get so embarrassed at this point.
"You've got some pretty sick moves there doll," he said.
"Do I sense a hint of sarcasm?" I asked with a smile.
"Not at all," he replied with much more blatant sarcasm. I laughed, then turned my blaring music down a few notches.
"Sooo, whatcha doing?" I asked. See how much more relaxed we were just after a couple days? No threats, no knives, no unfair wrestling matches on the floor. This whole fuck buddies thing was awesome.
"I'm bored," the Joker said, and by his tone, I knew that he really was bored. I didn't think that was possible for him.
"Why don't you go steal something, or blow something up like you usually do," I suggested. Now, I was not promoting this activity, but it was probably what he was going to do anyway. He shrugged.
"Nah, I don't really feel like it," he answered. Whoa, now that was impossible. I looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"Are you kidding? But you love blowing stuff up," I said incredulously. He shrugged this off too.
"I blew up a bridge last night. I'm kinda tired, I haven't slept in a few days," he mumbled.
"Well then go to sleep," I said sweetly, unable to read what kind of mood he was in.
"I hate sleeping. Why do you think I go days at a time without it?" Ah, now I knew what he wanted.
"You know, if you want sex you just have to ask," I told him.
"Oh trust me doll, if I wanted sex you'd know about it," he assured me. "but I don't need that just yet. It's still early," he said with a wink. I put my hands on my hips.
"So, you don't want to play with your explosives, you don't want to sleep, and you don't want sex," I recapped.
"See how bored I am?" the Joker said.
"Well," I began, "You could stay and dance with me!" I was totally kidding, but figured I'd go with it because I had no idea what else to tell him. He rolled his eyes.
"Women; they always want us to dance," he complained.
"Yeah, but I'm unlike most women, and I don't need you to dance well. I much prefer just spastic limbs or something." I flailed my arms in demonstration. He laughed and shook his head.
"Fine," I said, cranking my music back up. "I'll just dance next to you then." I made my way over to where he stood just inside the doorway. He looked down at me with a smirk on his face. I then proceeded to dance in my goofy little way around the Joker.
"So how many of your hostages have done this before?" I asked.
"None," he said. "But I might have to bring out the torture devices soon."
"Does that mean stop?" I asked a little worriedly.
"No it does not," and then to my extreme satisfaction, the Joker started dancing with me.
"Oh yeah!" I exclaimed happily. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist!" The Joker grabbed my hips and pulled me back into him.
"Ooh, are we gonna grind?" I asked.
"You bet your ass we are," the Joker replied.
"I thought you didn't want sex," I said rubbing against him.
"I don't, but you've got a fantastic ass," he said.
"You're not so bad yourself," I said mischievously, reaching behind me to grab his ass. He laughed deeply in my ear and his chest rumbled against my back. I genuinely smiled to myself, and for a second I felt like I was falling through the air for two reasons.
One, every time I was with the Joker I became even more attracted to him. Everything he said I found to be funny, adorable, or strangely right in a way that most people probably didn't get.
Second, the fact that number one existed at all frightened me about my own sanity. I should not be happy here. But… I was.
The song changed again, and it wasn't really one we could grind to, so I resumed my random dancing, stepping out of the Joker's grasp.
"Now what do you wanna do?" I asked, swaying to a Breaking Ben song.
"Do you wanna go play Drake's PlayStation?" he asked.
"You play PlayStation?" He looked at me like I was stupid.
"Um, yeah. That's where I come up with some of my new ideas," the Joker explained. I ignored the dark undertone to that statement and turned the stereo off.
"Then let's go!" I said. Two hours later, we were PlayStation-ed out and it was getting to be after midnight. The Joker told me to come back to his room. We switched whose room we were in every once in awhile and occasionally just picked the nearest uninhabited room.
Then the Joker wanted sex, and when that was over, he couldn't hide how exhausted he was. I felt that guilty happiness again when the Joker laid down next to me. He hadn't stayed the night with me since that first time a week ago. He fell asleep almost instantly. I settled down next to him, but I couldn't sleep. There were too many things racing through my mind. I had just spent the past few hours goofily dancing and playing video games with the Joker. Needless to say, that was a little out of the ordinary. I found it hard to believe that he actually wanted to be around me for more than just sex, but I was kind of hoping at least it was a little true.
God, what was wrong with me? I shouldn't want him to want to be with me, I should want him to let me go. The more I thought about him letting me go, the emptier I felt. Yeah, I desperately wanted to see my friends and family again, but honestly, my life was incredibly boring compared to all that I had experienced in the last three weeks. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if he ever let me go.
Ugh, too confusing. I'd think about it in the morning.
I was standing in my bathroom, staring at myself intently in the mirror. The room was incredibly bright and I had to squint to be able to have my eyes open. Then two arms slid around my waist from behind me. The room suddenly faded into a dull gray color and I could open my eyes. I looked into the mirror and saw the Joker looking over my shoulder. It was his arms that were wrapped around me and I sighed, relaxing into them.
"Smile doll," he said in a menacing sort of way. I studied his face, confused. A split second later, the Joker's hand flew from my waist to my face. He ripped a knife across my mouth, drowning out any scream I had tried to make. Blood poured to the floor while the Joker continued to hold me against him, a sick, evil smile on his face. I stared horrified in the mirror as the blood spread up to my cheek bones. My face was now a permanent bloody smile while the Joker laughed maniacally behind me.
My eyes shot open to see nothing but darkness. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and I was too scared to move. It was just a dream, I told myself. Rolling over onto my back, I saw that the Joker was still in bed with me. It must have been the middle of the night. I managed to calm myself down and attempt sleep again. However, I was woken up again by the Joker restlessly shifting beside me. I contemplated kicking him to get him to stop moving, but then he made the saddest little groan in his sleep.
"Aw," I couldn't help saying to myself. He was cute when he slept. So innocent looking.
He groaned again. I shifted myself a little closer to him and slowly reached out a hand. I hesitated for a second before I touched him lightly on the forehead.
"Hey, you're okay," I said gently, quietly. I carefully stroked the side of his face and hair. "You're fine," I repeated. Within a few moments, his face relaxed and the moans and groans of discomfort ceased. I let out a breath. Shit. He was cute. I was probably the only person who would use that word to describe the Joker that way, but come on. Here he was in desperate need of sleep, only to have nightmares. It was kind of adorable.
I was still afraid of him, but not nearly to the degree as I had been. Even after that horrible dream I wanted to take advantage of the Joker's state of unconsciousness and cuddle up next to him. But there's nothing wrong with that, right? I mean, so I was physically attracted to this guy. That kind of stuff happens all the time. I'd just have to make sure that I kept my feelings in check and didn't let this go any further.
Just then the Joker rolled over in his sleep…only to throw his arm across my stomach. He had never cuddled me before, but I think the nightmares must have had some kind of part in it. He sighed and became still again. Oh God. Feelings. Feelings were coming on!
Yeah, just a short chapter to show their emotional connection as well as a physical one. Also had to give a nod to them playing video games, since they do that in my previous story. If the end of the chapter was too lovey, do not worry. I am in no way going to make them a touchy feely couple. This was just to show that they can't deny their feelings for much longer. Thanks to my readers and please review!
